Psychonaut

I guess that's what I kinda wanted to say. If you get to attached to one thing you make it more difficult for the next thing. There might be a time in the future where people obsessed with self actualization realize that there is a next thing. Hopefully they dont beat themselves up for being so obsessed with something. What is that what you know? Nothing or something?

@Jay Brown I'm definetely not living in mediocrity XD. There are a few areas in which I am very success orientated. When you have success you are happy when not you are not happy. I believe happyness should be there all the time. I have found that after removing the attachment to the success I can be happy more often not just when I accomplished something. I have stopped beating myself up mentally if things don't work out.

I'm german. But not really as I have a sense of humor. That was funny? Germans and humor . We can be funny, I think. I don't know

@asgard94 Thanks you so much for making me think about what you said. You will probably never realise how many assumptions you made by saying 2x2=4 and I will not even try to explain it, because I would be wasting my time. Btw I think 2x2=0 is the correct answer

I'm also working on it. I haven't really figured out how to do it. But on some days I am invincible because I just feel fearless. Haven't really been able to pinpoint what exactly makes me get into this state. But I think it happens when I forget about all the possible ways I could fail and just start doing. Also not expecting much or even nothing helps. Once you don't expect to score a date or a girlfriend being "rejected" just becomes experience. Eventually things work out the way they are supposed to.

I really felt like me, free of everything and just being when I was able to masturbate to whatever fantasies were in my head. Without any judgement, nobody around, just myself. I like to just be and some of these simplistic animal kind of needs allow to just be. Just being able to be without all the crap in your head is a really great feeling. I enjoyed it a lot.

Do you never sweat during sex?

It's very convenient if you can buy everything in the store and don't see all the work that went into producing that product. All the technological advances that had to be made to make production so affordable that everyone can buy it. Take Aluminium for example. That is not something that is just lying around on the ground. The process of extracting it from Bauxite uses a lot of energy. That's why you really want to recycle all the alumnium cans. I'm grateful that I don't have to do all these things myself. I also don't have to live in a tent and fear that some creature will kill me during the night. I can enjoy my life worryless. Aren't we blessed? I think we are and I'm happy about it.

Maybe that's what turns them on?

Violence is a thing of the ego to defend itself. Animals use violence to defend their position in their group, even kill other males because they might become a risk to their survival. Imo it is better to go the other path. Let go of the anger. Become invincible to judgement and "stupid people" don't annoy you anymore. If you beat someone up for whatever reason you have not become any better at all. You have started a freefall into a deep ditch. The next day someone else will annoy you. The list of things that piss you off will grow and grow to infinity. If you let go nothing annoys you, nothing touches you if you don't want it to. You are at peace and will be happy.

I don't know.

I only watched about 10. All the meditation ones. Then some on free will and critical thinking. The meditation ones had the biggest impact on me. The other ones are nice, some new ideas, but not as essential for me... yet.

I'm looking for books related to nutrition. Not focusing on some form of diet or fitness program or anything. I would just like to know what my body needs, how the whole nutrition thing works, how the food gets processed. So I can make my own decisions on what food I eat and when I read the labels on food I know what all the stuff that is the box does.

A friend of mine used to say that to me and it motivated me. Sometimes insulting people motivates them more, sometimes it does the opposite. I don't know. I like using that sentence .

Try it! Do it fa***** . I was sceptical at first. First day I had to really really fight the resistance. The shower was cold. I didn't want to step into the cold stream of water. I hardly showered that day. But I didn't turn up the heat. I said to myself. My water boiler is broken. There is nothing I can do about it. I either shower cold or I don't shower and stink. The second day was easier, a lot easier. On the third day I even started enjoying it a bit. It is very refreshing. I never shower long. Remember, suffering = pain * resistance? Showering cold is a very good example of it. Once you don't resist the cold your suffering becomes less and less. In the end there is only the sensations of the fresh, clean, cold and refreshing water running down your body. The smell of your shower gel. No pain, no suffering and you can enjoy showering cold. Same goes for showering hot. Now that I am more used to showering cold I feel some resistance to shower hot. It feels like my skin is burning. It's weird. I know that my skin doesn't burn. I have to let go and then I can also enjoy showering hot.

Do you know of any public swimming pools in North Bangkok? I really want to start swimming again every day . Or anything else I could do for sport. I heard Thai Boxing is big thing there.

@Rufus Thank you for your input. I have also thought about it a bit over the past few days. It could be an addiction it could not be. It really depends on the day. Sometimes I have music on all day. Sometimes I don't feel like it at all. Like today. I think listening to music is so special for me because it is one of my oldest hobbies. Music is still beautiful, it is still exciting and can make me very happy. Yes and often I would prefer listening to music to other activities. But it's not like it is the only thing I do. So it might be a dependance or an addiction. So I just acknowledge the fact, let it go and enjoy the music. @bazera When you listen to music outside you remove one of your senses: Sound. You cannot be fully present if one of your senses is occupied with something else. I have realized that there are far too many interesting things outside and if I don't listen to music I notice a lot more things. Sometimes I still like to listen to music on my earphones, but not always like I used to do.

Nice to see that there are some people from Bangkok on this forum! I'll be going there next week for a few months. I have never been poor moneywise and can't really imagine how it might feel. But I am looking forward to reading your journal.

I believe it's a joke XD.

Meditation Sport like swimming going vegetarian and loosing weight doing nothing Nofapperino

You misunderstood my post. I never said leave her alone. I meant buy some stuff to spice your sex game up. It might be toys, it can also be lingerie or even sexy outfits. After a while it might get boring so it's better to do something about it. Imo it's totally fine for a woman to have toys. I don't judge and if my woman had toys and had fun with them I wouldn't be jealous. I would be happy for her.

Thoughts about "cheating on your wife": What would happen in a perfect world? What would happen if everyone could let thoughts that don't serve them not affect them. What would happen if a girl has the thought that she has been betrayed but doesn't feel bad about it. She doesn't feel sad, doesn't get angry at you. She even takes you back without even judging you and you could just continue your relationship like nothing happened. That would be amazing and that would be a girl I would like to have as a wife. But what happens if you have sex with lots of different women all the time and you return to your wife and every time it is like nothing has happened. You know there is a thing called polygamy. Not something we really know much about in a western world. But in african countries it does exist. Take the president of South Africa, a country that seems like one of the most "civilized" african countries. The president Jacob Zuma has 6 wifes and 21 children. Polygamy is legally recognized in South Africa. I'm not saying I advocate polygamy, but there is nothing inheritently evil about it. I just want to show you that there are places were having sex with multiple wifes at the same time is okay and not condemned. According to a survey in this article 83% of woman don't agree with polygamy. Point being the majoriy of the woman would prefer monogamy. Why is that? Why can't there be multiple wifes for all these woman that disagree? Because they think they will get negative emotions. They are resisting the idea that their husband could be attracted to other women. They are resisting that they are not perfect and never can be. They are not the most beautiful, they are not the most intelligent or the funniest. You could take any character trait, you will find a "flaw" something that you think could be improved upon. Noone is perfect, noone can ever be perfect. It is impossible. To be perfect you need infinite time. The world is changing all the time. Once you think you have done everything you could do to become perfect, you have read every book, have talked to every wise person, have visited every major landmark on planet earth the world has changed a lot. In that time double the amount of new books have been created. You are up for a race against time and have set yourself up for failure. Your wife has flaws. The friends of your wife know that, your daughter knows it, her parents know it and the most important part is that you know it. It's okay, you never expected her to be perfect. There is only one thing you can do. You let it go, you love her. That will make you forget about all these things. So you obviously love your wife. You always have and you always will. That is the point of marrying someone. So why don't you want to have sex with another woman? You could, it's very simple. You just take of your ring and forget about it. There are lots of things that are very simple in life, but yet you would never do them. It is very simple to kill someone, having sex with a girl is usually also pretty simple and hurting another person is also very simple. But you don't want to do any of those things. You do not want to hurt your wife, your daughter or your friends. You don't want to see your wife cry, shout at you or even start hating you. So where is your suffering coming from? Why did you even write this post? You are obviously suffering. Do you even know how suffering works? I don't know... But somewhere I read this: "suffering = pain * resistance". Does this make any sense to you at all? Is there something you have noticed? What role does resistance play in suffering? You see that "suffering = pain * resistance". The more you resist the more you suffer. Why does a child cry when it falls and there is a small scratch on its leg? You can see that it is suffering a lot more than you. If you fall and there is a scratch, a bit of blood, maybe even a lot of blood. You might not even flinch, you will most likely not cry and probably suffer a lot less than a child. What happens if there is no resistance? "Suffering = pain * 0" -> "suffering = 0". You do not suffer anymore. So how do you remove resistance? The key to resistance is to learn to let go. When someone hurts you, insults you or spits in your face. What does the bible tell you? You are supposed to forgive that person. You are supposed to let go. You can observe the event that someone spit in your face totally neutral. You can try to think about why that person did that to you. You can find an answer, you could fail to find an answer. If you find an answer let it go. The same goes for if you don't find an answer. You let it go. You don't spend the rest of the day thinking about why the person hurt you. You could do that. But I would only advise you to do that if your thoughts and emotions are completely separate. But this is hardly the case for anyone and after some time you might get dragged down by your thoughts and feel bad. Why do humans even want to marry a other person? Why don't they want to marry a piece of wood or a spinning top? There is one fundamental difference between a thing that is alive and a thing that is just a thing. The dead thing doesn't change. It can only be changed by things that are alive. You can break a stone in two halfes. The stone won't automatically repair itself. If you lay it one the ground it won't move either. It can only be moved by other living beings. What happens if you break a twig of a tree? Lots of things will happen. The tree will try to close the hole where the twig originally was. It might even start to grow a new twig. So why did you marry your wife and not a tree or a stone? Because you can probably have more fun with your wife than with anyone else. She always changes, she can put on different clothes, start a new hobby. There is always the possibility of something new and exciting or unexpected to come out of your wife. So why are you longing for a different woman? You should be asking yourself that question and I don't know the answer. You have to think about it yourself. Once you have found the answer, let it go. Try to fix it if you can. If you want someone more beautiful buy her new clothes. If you want her to be more interesting try to somehow get her interested in something. If you want her to be sexier buy some lingerie you like, buy some outfits. You can try cosplaying, different positions. I don't know. There are lots of things you can do. There might be a possibilty that you will still be attracted to another woman. Sometimes you can do absolutely nothing about it. I have to admit that I am attracted to certain women that I will never be allowed to have sex with. I was trying to blame myself, made myself feel terrible about it. I resisted a lot and suffered a lot. I had to let it go, accept the fact that I am attracted and move on with my life.You have to let it go. I'm not telling you to have sex with another woman. Certainly not. You don't let go of your resistance to have sex with another woman. You let go of the thought of having sex with her which will remove the resistance. By letting go I don't mean you have to totally remove the thought from your brain. That would cause even more resistance and therefore suffering. You let go of the attachment between the thought in your brain and you. Afterall it is just a though flowing past. You have to realize that you can have a desire for another woman and not act on it. You don't have to feel bad. You don't have to think about all the things that could happen if you have sex with her. All the pain you could cause. What could potentially help you is this. Imagine there are two ways of a thought coming into your brain. One is that the thought just gets randomly generated in your brain. Somehow human brains just generate random thoughts and noone knows why. The other way is that another person put the thought into your brain. Either by talking to you, writing text or just by their body language. If someone else tells you you should have sex with this woman, what would you do? You could just say no and forget about the thought. Afterall it was not your thought. You can let it go very easily. So what holds you back of letting go of your own thoughts? I don't know. You can treat them like thoughts of another person and just watch them past by. I think that is an important ability and the main reason I meditate. I know this is long. It was not meant to be like this. It's just my thoughts. Random blabberings.

Really? Would there be something or nothing? Do you know? Could your concept of reality just be a mere illusion and there is in fact nothing. Absolutely nothing? I don't know? I don't think we humans were made to understand the concept of nothing. I don't really know that we were made to understand the concept of reality either. I don't know, as some fancy guy a few thoussand years back once said. There probably was even a guy who said the same thing even before that other guy said that. Just nobody wrote it down.

You are confused. Just go sleep. When you wake up shower cold and puff thoughts are gone. Yeah a really cold shower can do that. Or if you don't want to go to sleep just go and shower nevertheless. You have a wife and kids. A have neither nor, not even a girlfriend, not even a fantasy of a girlfriend. So you take the wife undress her, throw some dildos and vibrators and shit at her and hope for the best. Its just a thought, you can either let it go or not. I can't do that for you. But I can tell you what I would do in your situation. I said it 2 sentences ago.

It's important to have the feeling and learning to let go of it. So next time you can just be like yeah this is a feeling. A there is some thoughts. The thoughts are walking by like people on the street. There some people on the street I don't want to really get to know so I just let them pass. But it's your thoughts you can do whatever you want with it. You can take the thought put it into a bottle watch it float away. You can put your thought into a box smash it with a hammer, let a huge truck roll over it, pour some gasoline over it, light a match. Watch it burn away, add some fireworks and explosions and effects and you have a blockbuster movie. It's just throughts. Remember the thoughts walking accross the street and not really want to get to know them. Yeah. Something happened. Quite a lot. We could have just let the thought pass like 10 sentences ago. Just let it be. Watch it go away. Look at your wife, she's still there and beautiful. Your kids are still there having fun with a 1$ spinning top. Or if it's a girl I don't really know. Crayons. Probably drawing something. Yeah it's beautiful "insert name of your daughter here".