ValiantSalvatore

Today the morning routine worked out. I am still very tired and going to make myself some green tea. I stayed up in bed which I rarely do and read some article about the solar plexus and because I was interested in it because of meditation. I will schedule my day and start at 10 am to study approx. I kept thinking about hormones and how they transmit information and unlock the cells to transform glucose into energy or other sugars. Otherwise, hormones are peptides there are also fats that build up hormones, the difference between peptides and proteins in their size and peptides are larger by 100 amino acids. Not sure if there is more to know besides this small fact, that could be relevant. Serotonin is a hormone. Dopamine is a hormone. Testosterone is a hormone. Estrogen is a hormone. Insulin is a hormone. Oxytocin is a hormone. Cortisol is a hormone. Adrenaline is a hormone. Growth hormones are hormones. What are they good for? They transmit information and are endogenous (rly ? lol), there are produced in gland cells (Drüsenzellen) in certain "organ systems" and afterward are transported into the blood. Then they connect to the cells where they transmit the information. For e.g insulin opens cells in order for the cells to "eat" glucose. Hormones are quite slow, they need a couple of minutes or hours to transport information, nerve cells on the contrary need only a couple of seconds. Now, why do I do this, for of all because it connects back to the books I read or listened to. Sex at dawn etc. In general, I find it interesting how the body functions. Yesterday, as I stayed awake. I could not not think about solar plexus. Plexus is Latin for "Nervengeflecht" which is just plexus is eng apparently. Now, I did not know but I am not surprised that the vagus nerve is connected to it the article that I found was quite long. I kept wondering about chakras after reading the article since I really wanted to know what the solar plexus looked like. I could not imagine how nerves look like in the body. I still only know it from a digital graphic. Now, as far as I recall correctly, the vagus nerve is connected to the brain stem and also transports serotonin, dopamine?, oxytocin, etc. So all of these hormones. The brain and the solar plexus which is also called the small brain, not to be confused with the cerebellum and the other part I mentioned in the Samskara post. The solar plexus and the brain communicate with each other yet about 90% is from the plexus towards the brain, which is what I often felt. Now, this part of the body is quite complex, it controls the spleen etc. Tbh, I don't know what these parts of the body do - briefly, they protected with lymphocytes the body from illness. Afterward, I thought how naive and how also partially correct most likely all of this character talk is, yet looking at the actual physiology it does seem to make somehow sense. I mean we don't walk around with a solar plexus chakra spinning near the sternum, the plexus is way larger than that. Now, I don't know how well this connects with other chakras, yet I was interested in body functions and found out more than I wanted. As usual. Nr.6 is the vagus nerve which connects to the brain and almost every number is part of the solar plexus. Reread this link: https://www.dr-gumpert.de/html/solarplexus.html About yesterday: I still studied for one 45min session and made myself a Q and A for an easier class which gives a lot of cp though. Was hyped for Leo's episode this morning. But, he or youtube declined that people want to become woke. I bet.

Another 15 min entry the timer is set: What do I want to write about? Workout Schedule Time spent Apps Habits Now for my workout, I watched a video ate something and approx. had a 20gram + - protein intake. Rewatch this video: Reread this link: https://www.netdoktor.at/laborwerte/hormone-8457 I am following the hybrid strength coach from freeletics and I am doing pretty good, today I noticed I can lift more weights when I isolate my biceps. Even when the workout is more focused around bodyweight training and lifting weights. I still have some with my form difficulties the gym is quite small. Yet, I enjoy it somehow more now. Schedule: I did my 90 min meditation, yet I struggle a lot with my early waking up-habit. I often think oh I can listen to my body and just keep sleeping and when I feel rested I have more energy for the day. Which is usually the case then. Yet, in England and China, I had to wake up at 06:00 that is the difference. Even when visualizing and doing things in the morning that I want to do I struggle with following through. I find it easier to wake up when I have classes, internships a job, etc. Because there is an impetus to do it. I wrote down my obstacles also in my digital journal sometime and broke down the reasons why this is occurring. I listened to the atomic habit audiobook and another habit audiobook. Note: Make an audiobook plan. I want to do cold showers again to be fit in the morning. Time spent: Approx: 30 min on actualized.org with my pc. Approx: 20+min on actualized.org with my phone. Studying: 3h without counting breaks etc. Raw 3h intense focus studying for 45min so 4 study session. Workout: With walking changing cloth etc. 2h today was a long workout because of weightlifting and pauses. Meditation: 1h30 Oversleeping: 4h Cooking: 30min made a quick meal since I had no breakfast. Distraction: Nr.1 YouTube and phone. I notice my 5 minute breaks after studying tend to be 7min or 8min and the 15min break kills basically my scheduled 4th study session which is dedicated to one subject. All in all, technically my breaks should be 45minutes for 6 study session. I effectively can do 5 study session when I execute it perfectly, yet I do more 4 most of the time. Averaging about 3h of effective studying during the afternoon. I want to reduce my pauses by 5 min every second study session. Tomorrow I most likely can't study outside. So, I will make tea and study indoors and go for walks + audiobooks and review them with my entries here. I killed my morning with 4h oversleeping. Time is up. Editing approx: 2min

Alright, I have to be quick I planned my day. I only had 4h of sleep and then slept for another 4h. Yesterday I was able to wake up at 06:00 and today it was around 10:30 because I went back to bed. I meditated for 1h and 30 min Obstacles I want to overcome this is the habit I implemented: -> Going to bed early -> Reducing noises -> Take a cold shower or hop into the shower -> Turn on some YouTube video directly in the morning -> COLD FKING SHOWER Meal: I wanted to count calories and in general have an overview so, I don't need to think and calculate that much. Coconut milk approx: 112 kcal per 100ml = 442kcal for one can of coconut milk Natural rice approx: 360 kcal per 100g = 3590 kcal for one kg. Curry paste: 108 kcal per 100g = one small glass has 125gram (Alnatura brand) Vegetables: 91kcal per 100g = one pack has 400g so 364 kcal. (Iglo) This would be my meal for today: My calorie intake would be round about: ~1000 kcal. This is when I eat healthily: I eat in the cantine Monday - Friday to save time. I am not very resourceful currently. 1 minute left to go before the blocker, blocks the site on the pc for the whole day.

Or negativ aspects of them. I hate my dorm neighbours and dislike International students now.

So, I have nothing planned for the weekend besides studying. I took care of some administrative tasks today in the morning which took me about 1h and 30min. The walk down the hill takes some time, yet it is okay. What I want to do today is I still want to work on my project for 1h and 30min and then read and go to bed. I still waste a lot of time with random distractions and therefore don't stick as much to my schedule as I want to. Some things are necessary. When reading about the jobs etc. of other people I definitely regret my choice of major, yet this is what interested me and combined both aspects of what I wanted to do. Now, I keep checking in my study breaks what I can do afterward and I am happy that I can develop some health and exercise oriented apps and learn a bit more about concurrency and programming mobile games. I never thought I like mathematics that much and in general just theories, I worked against this conditioning with the LP course and before with CBT exercises. Now, life feels more like a numbers game. Rinse and repeat and reap the results. Studying is fine etc. Still, I notice when browsing here that my comparison mind kicks in, so I treat it with mindfulness over and over again. Now my workout today was a bit easier than yesterday. I am following a program hybrid strength via the freeletics app. For instance, my workout on Monday will be without the warmup which is difficult because of diving pushups. 50x Jumping Jacks 20x Crunches 20x Lunges 20x Burpees 5 rounds of that. So, in total 100 burpees. + some smaller stuff. Doing them in a row would be easier, yet the jumping jacks and the other stuff definitely takes a toll on the body. The exercises are apparently very good and utilize explosive strength and are good for neuromuscular efficiency and increase the speed my nervous system communicates with my muscles. I looked into how all of this works cursory (pun intended) and this is also supposed to be good for the joints and increases the dynamic joint stability by sending a signal. The muscle sends unconsciously a signal to stabilize the joint which is good training for knee injuries since the mechanical joint stability is "sometimes" not able to stabilize itself anymore. There is more to the subject. https://www.freeletics.com/en/blog/posts/confused-about-contrast-training/ https://www.physio-pedia.com/Neuromuscular_Exercise_Program This definitely is an easy explanation. I started to look into how joints look and now know what a subluxation (partially) is. http://www.sportsclinicnq.com.au/blog/neuromuscular-training This could be interesting for robotics. I mean I still think too much about what I want to do for a living. I could do a lot of things apparently! With this weirdo degree. I could go into game design and VR, I could do standard cs degree aka masters. I looked into data science and some unis I can't apply for that, but after following the TechLead and Joma on YouTube I started to see ok, data science is not going to earn me the money that I want to. Apparently, since I want to move to the U.S badly. I have American citizenship and I still have contact with my Dad, so he can help me even with friends, etc. to get started, in case that is potentially needed. Otherwise, there is a uni the offers robotics and some others which have more to do with the stuff, where we only scratched the surface. App/Mobile development seems to be good for a side-hustle and in general a good skill to have. Otherwise, I am learning java stuff and internet programming, databases my c++ course I was not able not take it. ANNNNNDD I had bureaucracy sometimes. Most people don't understand how a divorce etc. impacts life quality and upbringing, just by meeting people who have parents that are divorced. I am doing well and I am actively working against such things having an impact. Yet, even having to thing about changing your biological mechanisms, like described above is way out of the ordinary. I also want to move badly, I dislike this town it's fine it's okay. Yet, to much Orange/green at uni, the greens are great. The few yellows are their own caliber. I am happy I choose a Prof. which is very yellow. I hope I can learn a lot from him as a person and technical skills also. What else. I checked how much calories I am supposed to intake. For a mid-weight loose I would need 2300 calories a day, to lose 0.5 kilograms a week. Apparently, high-intensity workouts that I do would burn up to 402 calories. When I do the math. 8-14 calories a minute. Approx 40 min high-intensity exercises and 1h+ / - strength exercises. (5 times a week) When I check my Mi-Band3 I loose about 230-300 calories a workout. Yet, I don't see as many gains as I'd like to have. I had to stop my workout coach two times since I 'd the subscription when I was in week seven and in week 4 or so. Now, I am back to week 3. With a one year subscription. Note: count calories as a challenge either 7 days and record it here, not sure if I need a scale. Now, when I went back and we had a couple of holidays I always went to a 5k run, yet endurance is my biggest weakness. So, I did it. Yet, two or three times I just walked because I was somehow trapped in negative thinking otherwise. It's okay. I can run the 5k, yet not without stops. Which makes me feel weak etc. I want to train this after I am done with my coach for 12 weeks. What could be a solution, what I did when I excelled in college for one fking semester was when even when going back I jogged to the park and did some exercises. Now, I can do that easily again to have a buffer for not having a gym subscription back home. Otherwise, I go for bike rides, yet not above 28km, I checked the last time which is not very far. So, I went and did a 5k workout afterward. I want to excel more, yet I struggle a bit with socializing here. I like nerdy people, yet there are not enough. I joined the Unix Ag and will most likely go to the froscon in two weeks. So, this is also what calnewport recommends. Starting a club or being the president of a club, I could have the choice to go for sports, yet I decided not to because the uni is very small and therefore it would be some random thing I do. I thought about offering meditation, yet then I stopped considering my own temper sometimes and thoughts I have. Now I will study for 1h and 30 min ideally or do only one study session of 45min. Then read and go to bed wake up at 06:00 and meditate again for 90 minutes. I will do this near my bed with my zafu and zabuton tomorrow morning in my apartment for 90 minutes at 06:30 am.

Here I go again: Today I finished my 90 min meditation session. I was able to do 60 min sitting and 30 min lying down. I got distracted because of my scar and had some very angry thoughts because I can't feel my body properly because of this, also my body feels slightly twisted. To the degree that I sometimes when I meditate naturally turn my head to the right without noticing it. Anyway, if anyone thinks this is funny. I almost died because of it during birth. So, I gladly kill you. Any day anytime. I downloaded the app creamcat recommended to induce a more natural way of influencing melatonin called f.lux I already had the app once, yet was unsure if it works. I am getting back into my natural rhythm when going back to my parent's house. I often slack with my routine. Today I will also workout I scheduled my day in advance in timeblocks as Cal Newport recommends. Now, I checked the pdf to do the internship and also the recommendations to do my bachelors and I meet all the requirements. I was a bit worried. Also, I strategically did what they recommend, not sure if everyone does this, yet I assume most. To do a "bachelors" and to do the internship with the intent to build more theory and foundations around the subject of the "bachelors" or simply to do some groundwork. My Prof. already approved this and technically I am a semester ahead because I did the voluntary project. Practically, I was stuck with some simple things the employee at the company solved in an instant because it was my phone aka a hardware problem. Now, I still hope I can learn a lot of this Prof. I took a time table and wrote down the recommended times to study for the exams. I am still not very productive if I had to intuit I score in the 7 percentile of industriousness and listened to the lecture on how to increase it. From JP. Which basically says stick to a plan and have a vision IIRC, yet stick to a plan and execute it. Which I do with daily planning. I figure I am getting more into the 20-30 percentile range. Especially, with working out for 5 months now 5 times a week. I feel like a madman I sweat like a madman the day before yesterday my accountability structure aka my phone since no one wants to work out. Works surprisingly well. I receive my clap claps and the app cheers for me. No.1 reasons why robots will be great, humans just suck sometimes. Now, I have an app installed or an extension that will block this site in 60 seconds. So, I'll spend a maximum of 15 minutes a day on this site. Via my pc. My phone does not have a blocker. I wanted to write my workout routine to feel good about myself and I read a bit about testosteron. 10-15minute journaling is apparently only good for mental health reasons ?

Wanted to write two posts today: I finished most of what I could finish today. The last two hours (1min overtime currently will set a timer of 12 minutes this time) I cleaned up my room a bit and picked up laundry from the drying rack (or horse how they apparently call it in the UK) and folded all of these. I can't bear how amazing this post already is! So, what I wanted to write about is some random and coincidental things and ponder.. again. As I finished studying I went for a walk around the tartan track and there was a guy with his dog right behind me. I felt as if I should not talk to the guy or play with the dog, I was sort of in a nonchalant tired of discursive thinking mode (weitschweifig mal wieder ein neues Wort gelernt). So, I was sitting there outside on the stand and suddenly the dog was chasing a rabbit. I was neither amazed nor anything else. It just happend and the freaky curly-wurly dog was chasing the rabbit across the whole tartan track and the soccer field. The owner was a bit perplexed not knowing what to do he kept whistling, yet the dog was so excited chasing the rabbit. The both vanished from my view then came back and suddenly the rabbit was down for it, he started to sprint along the 100-meter track and past me on the stand, I had my phone in the hand, yet I did not immediately think about recording the dog catching the rabbit The rabbit was way faster than the dog lol and lost the dog afterward. The owner caught up with the dog and the rabbit was gone, he was very cool about it and just kept whistling. Hysterical dog owners are annoying sometimes. But he was just calm and collected. Anyway, I came back and cleaned my apartment a bit it took me two hours to clean all of the dirty dishes, fold my clothes and to take out the trash. I was listening to an audiobook during that time. Integral Spirituality from Ken Wilber. He mentioned coming back to the coincidence that there is a Japanese saying - chase two rabbits and catch none. In terms of choosing a spiritual practice and changing master and master, practice and practice over and over again. Which he mentioned is definitely a hindrance. He talked more about stuff, Leo also talks about. Yet, this viewpoint would be a bit more conflicting. Also, Ken mentioned that it is difficult to not have a teacher, who can explain the spiritual map. And all the structure etc. talk. Now on to business? I want to do a 90-minute sit in the morning since I am getting up at 06:00 and I keep falling back into bed. I want something to work towards or look forward too, especially since uni or other goals did not work. What worked was definitely visualizations before going to bed that is why I am doing that again and igniting my vision. Therefore, to be subconsciously programmed to be hyped. Then by "nature" I am a night owl and go to bed by 02:00 - 04:00 which is just horribad. Now I am past the twelve-minute mark. Ideally, I'll write down my work out routine tomorrow and count my calorie intake and do some quick research on how much calories I approximately need to lose weight. Worst mistake I am currently doing with my workouts is to not eat afterward sometimes. I already feel the gains when eating protein-rich foods. I don't buy "weigh" currently. So, 90 minutes meditation session in the morning 20 min bath 10 minutes eating. Then head-off to studying that is my current plan. + ! 5 minute planning in the morning. In my bullet journal. Now 23min past bed time.

Another 10 min entry: I watched the video above this morning from Sadghuru. It was kinda boring I am not sure how "practical", spiritual advice can get. Now, I am in my favorite learning spot on the campus. It's even quieter than the library and just above the library. Now Peter Ralston and Eckhart Tolle have two new videos. I did not watch them, yet will watch them when I do my 5 and 15-minute breaks in between learning. Otherwise, I meet with my prof yesterday and asked for some clarifications and he explained to me a couple of things, which I did not know with the command line. I am not sure what to think of this Prof. he is quite nice but, often the ratings on my.prof.de or so, represent the quality of the professor. For instance, I asked one Prof after the class today to show me how to built the servlet in eclipse. In this class, we mandatorily have to learn java,javascript,php and html. To build for instance WebApps or to go into WebDevelopment I dislike the topic, yet I like the coding. Anyway, the Prof has a rating even when he is strict of 90%+ and he was very kind and even said Ta-da at the end with reminded me of Leo since he is the only one who does this who I "know". So, I had to laugh really loud and this definitely made my day. Otherwise, the holiday season is apparently kicking in. I tend to forget this since it really does not apply to me. My parents are divorced and therefore financial means are limited to a greater extent. Especially, since my mom tends to be more traditionally girly, therefore she never cared about having a career even if she had options but declined since it was to much stress. Now it is coming back. I dislike her a lot of this. Even if get along very well. Now, I am off to study till 22:00 today is a "hard" day, so I will study the rest of the time. I started my 30-day challenge with my whiteboard two days ago. To tackle two limiting beliefs and do a 10-minute visualization before going to bed. In October I wanted to test the Sedona-Method. Ideally, I send a couple of applications for employment for a summer job, yet I wanted to do my mandatory internship. I could have already done that, I theoretically did, yet I wanted more practical experience. Because the internship I got was a small detour, where I stayed in London for two months over the summer. Technically I have some stuff, I already sent out applications, yet only 4. Which 1 decline and 3 not responding. Now, 10 minutes are over. It would again take me an hour to dig up more topics that I have thought about and this environment here rather forces me in a very positive way to work on my tasks. Oh, yes I wanted to write about my workout routine and ideally make a plan how much calories I lose, I bought a Mi-Band to test that constantly.

10 min journal entry: I will set myself a timer and write. I am back at uni, we had holidays or a prolonged weekend from Friday to Tuesday. Now, over the weekend nothing spectacular happened, some stuff. Yet, I was lazy and somehow I noticed that the feeling of complacency is somehow gone. I kept thinking about my Enneagram type which apparently changed from 6/5 to 4/5 over a 4 year period but! I took the official test from the site so, I stick with 4/5 I remember vaguely, that working is one of the things that make 4/5 the happiest because of some reason to go towards, yes growth went towards 1 and 1 was the achiever or so. I think I have the pdf on my phone. So, I thought about that... and noticed how much I slack off when there are environmental incentives to do so. I mean fuck tv, and video games to a degree. Not that they are bla bla, yet I am not so much inclined to play video games or watch tv as I was inclined to in the past. Quitting TV was one of the easiest things, I was just so determined to stop watching TV. That I just turned it off and that's it. I watch the occasional series on my TV with my Laptop, yet this is like every two months for 1h and 30min on average. Otherwise, journaling now would take me an hour. To write down all of my impressions. I definitely notice that digital journaling especially online makes me more prone to think constructively about my life in terms of what can I do? With a physical journal,I feel more sentimental and nostalgic and want to write about my feelings and express myself. Potentially, because people could watch and in general I work on my laptop, that I tend to think more constructively. Ah. Btw. I called the police yesterday because the hysterical asshole was upstairs yesterday. This time they came and I am going to sue, them if they keep being so loud. They are depriving me of sleep and my health and are being heavily inconsiderate. Time is up, I almost finished the spiral dynamics book and wanted to write about Blue/orange. Long story short what I can recall is that they steadily refer back to what is! This is how things are! My "theology" needs to be argued and their needs to be a winner and a loser! It's a fine distinction and I could not tell what it makes more orange than blue, potentially the need to convince and to not demonize and kill. Most likely this is the color code of how missionaries and colonialism started. Video to watch:

@Leo Gura Thanks for the feedback! I see I certainly did not surrender completely during my "biggest" LSD trip I was sort of stuck between the beauty of "god" or like I how to call it consciousness tunnel like in the Dr.Stranger video waiting for "god" to pick me up, yet somehow I felt I was not worthy enough. During my kriya release, there was other stuff going on where I could not tell if the universe wanted to kill me or if it had a rational cause. I felt very close to ego death as far as I could describe it with both experiences and kriya was just sudden, I poked this feeling constantly with Shinzens ~ feel flow~ label and feeling in then it bursted open suddenly through sound. I saw my physical body move as I saw my solar plexus pumping up and down in front of me while I cried. Now, I had 3 flashes of a vivid picture as I closed my eyes either after meditation or randomly when I shut my eyes in the area Shinzen calls gray-scale blank. I also saw the outlines of an ox during the retreat as I closed my eyes in the grayscale black(darkness perceived when closing the eyelids) and saw, that I could create anything out of my imagination, there are even residuals of that often. Not sure how radical it can get. I've read that Samskaras from former lives and the present one are situated in the metencephalon and the cerebellum, this is where I currently feel a lot of stirring. So, I can somehow understand that memories are Maya/fantasy/imagination or not real somehow. ( The site is German there is not translation https://wiki.yoga-vidya.de/Samskara#Alte_Samskaras_als_Hindernisse_f.C3.BCr_die_Meditation) I never did or tried kriya-yoga, yet the kriya-release was a bit more powerful than my "biggest" LSD experience where I as you commented barely licked the tail of the ox. With the kriya experience I felt the ox wanted to impale me with his horns, I felt I would faint if I "surrender", trust and die. It also lasted for one or two days. I felt I moved up from the hell realm to the animal realm. I'll definitely be more ballsy with my trips and also humble enough to surrender not constantly have the "thought" to think of respect so much. So, thank you again!

@Leo Gura Does it depend upon which technique needs to be practiced to reach radical love or love with a capital L? Or is this not even possible to reach in one lifetime without the use of substances/psychedelics? Also, what do you think about the quote "Unearned consciousness is valueless" in connection to psychedelics, I heard David Deida and Ken Wilber say that, so I was questioning, also how much formal practice is necessary to make a psychedelic experience valuable or does it depend more upon theory or more ambiguous factors such as predispositions, environment, brain chemistry even, or past life experiences, karma, etc ? Also, would you regard a kriya experience as an awakening or distinguish them ? Especially after practicing kriya-yoga?

@DrewNows Well you are welcome thanks btw also. I only take notes when I schedule a session where I sit down and read, reading in bed or in a train etc. I won't tale notes there. So, noway I am doing that very well yet

@DrewNows That is what I feel like I still have to overcome I can speed read, yet if I am not familiar with the text book it will take me longer, and one advice from the book is to slow down a bit for more comprehension. I notice I do this automatically, also always to ask what do I want to understand out of this chapter etc. It's quite serious and when reading during leisure time, I am not regerading any of the advice. Speed reading text books it depends on the complexity of the topic. Some stuff is fine, yet I will take notes. Which costs most of the time. They also said subliminal "talking" is not entirly possible to overcome, yet I get what is meant with flow. A lot of subconscious talking is reduced and reading at high speeds with comprehension becomes fun or releaxed / flow.

@Enlightenment Thanks for the link, I find it difficult to asses the enlightenment of people who are not considered zen masters etc. I like Martin Ball a lot, I did some research and pretty much have access to all safety precautions now. Does the enviroment affect the trip? Or is the experience that strong, that it eludes enviromental factors? Any other tips? I want to "plug it" not snort or smoke it. Leo has a video on his blog for this. I've read a couple of reports, + tons of videos. I'll most likely order a book on Leo's booklist before I try it and read a few more reports. Anyway, when I tried it I'll write a report.

@Leo Gura would it help with ones LP and taking more action, or is this also an independent variable/factor? It's been pretty solid after some years and not much has changed. The spiritual part just becomes stronger, which is also included in the LP.

@Leo Gura How much of an impact on daily life would it have? Will I'll be able to attend uni for instance after doing this on a weekend?

@ardacigin Interesting, unfortunately I had last year a set back for a couple of weeks. Also, with a formal meditation habit of 1h a day. Rarely shorter depends on the circumstance. ( I had a solid meditation habit of 3y approx) I also can't sit crossed legged I tried some strechting exercises in the morning to gain some flexibility, so I set in the burmese position. I also noticed thaz I become very unconscious, a "foggy or nebulous mind" came back and I could feel the thickness of the unconsciousness. Awesome that you can do 2h of SDS, 1h and 30min most often is enough for me. Also, that was the duration of all the retreats I attended so far which is not that much. Thanks for the report! Definitely insightful.

@Leo Gura lol haha poor shinzen. What are your thoughts on Ayahuasca in comparison to 5-MeO? If anyone else wants to comment, that would be great too. I watched a lot of reviews about 5-MeO and found a retreat her that is legal with Ayahuasca their description sounded solid, they use what old shamans used to use and don't mix their own stuff as many shamans apparently do. Also very curious about dark room retreats since Shinzen did one for 100 days and saw insects as living creatures afterwards. I asked him about it and one of his quotes is enlightenment is being comfortable in the dark. I still struggle with this that is why I want to do some darkroom retreats.

@Leo Gura Are there some highly enlightened beings who have taken 5-MeO? I know Shinzen took LSD when he was younger and seems very open I bet he also did an ayahuasca retreat etc he definitely tried some native American approaches towards experiencing with sun dances, starvation and stuff like this.

What are some examples of conscious politics or politicions in the past? What do you think will happen in the future, will consciousnsss become an inevitable subject to talk about, because of a.i and automation? Are there conscious politicians and what characteristic makes them conscious? (besides consciousnsss itself) How can spiritual pratices influence politics? Why is consciousnsss not a subject inside politics? Is consciousnsss to much of a hot topic, for instance when looking at debates etc? (jp, sam harris, matt dilahunti) Should highly spiritual people play a role in politics or will this only cause corruption? How much are spiritual talks for instance by sadghuru, the Dalai lama and Eckhart Tolle influencing the political landscape? Why are there so few conscious alternativ and why is it so hard to convince people to become more conscious? Would conscious politicians change the way society and countries and a state works? If yes how and what would need to be adressed? What is a conscious option, possibility or alternative for dealing with populism and far-right people? Do you think spiral dynamics is a valid model that could be used for a more conscious discourse and would the model be succesful if it would be used be yellow politicans? What would be dangerous about conscious politics? How much would multiple awakenings of politicans shake the political playground? Who do you intuit has an approach or election program providing the most conscious value to society, regardless if it is a party or an individual. What would be a conscious approach to liberterianism? Why are egaliteran parties still lacking conscious approaches, how could they move to yellow? What is the most conscious thing you could sell the public to help the public to move up the spiral and become more conscious? How can conscious politics be useful for discussing changes with friends and family, also when joining a party, what woud classify conscious politician? Is classim neccesary and what could or not be conscious about it? For instance the cast system in india? Are there any subjects that are already conflated, so it would be inevitable to not regard it as conscious politics, such as global warming, destruction of the rain forest, potentially terrorism? What is "non-conscious" politics? How much religion is still needed? Looking at for instance two/one german party it is named after a religion partially the name does not neccesarly matter, yet still has a connotation. Why does religion still seem to be so important? (stage blue believe in purpose etc?) Any future trends that will be inevitable or would need to be adressed?

Reflections of the past two days. I finished the audiobook deep work from Cal Newport on Friday and already started to re-listen to it again. What did I learn and what principles do I take out of the book? Definitely, the journalism method to take the time of spontaneously to do deep work for a day or two. Otherwise generally to take time off when I am processing difficult work or doing a project some people in the audiobook took two months of. Not everyone has that kind of luxury. Then, that deep work does not count as taking one day off and doing a lot of work. If it is not possible to do this 1h is fine a day to work deeply on a subject, yet it is important to reduce shallow distractions. What shallow distractions do I reduce? -> actualized.org comments even if I am quite active here lately, I reduced it through a filter on my pc, so I mainly type things either... on the toilet for some great info or while I am taking breaks between studying for 5 to 15min. Which is fine and serves as sort of a reward. -> Social Media, I deleted Instagram, I dislike using facebook anyway and have my phone on silent. -> E-mails I have more or less dedicated time and I don't receive as much. -> Netflix etc. I don't use this a lot after I quitted TV for years already. What shallow distractions am I still influenced by? -> YouTube and watching videos online -> Actualized.org -> News sometimes That is about it I think I am doing pretty good with distractions, there are some minor ones which bother me more. I have more trouble sticking to a schedule, yet it is getting better slowly. I definitely want to do a 30-day challenge with visualization either after meditation or before going to bed and holding myself accountable with a calendar. I will re-listen to the audiobook again and do some speed reading after the exams are over for 30 days, that should fit as my next 30-day challenge. Otherwise, I'll stick to the advice from the other two cal Newport books I read, yet the students association here has it "backwards" if they still post pictures of racism and a guy booting a black guy and I even know the person who posted the picture. Shows me their "wokeness" the guy is not necessarily racist, yet would turn to one for survivals sake. Since, it is "practical" which is so orange/blue, yes I am simplifying, yet I can't turn to other concepts currently and I think spiral dynamics fits. I hope the European election results produce some change, on how they deal with people, people can't see how classist, racist, sexist, etc. They are and that we even have to talk about it bothers me. It's important yes, yet nobody talks about the nuance, I can do it with two people explaining others the nuance, is not worth it politicians should enforce these views or make it a bit more obvious. Yet, people don't care as much to build their own opinion. Which would even be more stage orange or orange/green! Since one trust only his or her own experience. I do notice these tendencies sometimes in myself, yet I can't get feedback very well since nobody apparently seems to think or notice it and others go through life and diminish it. Tbh this is why I like the cs nerds more, their practicality thinking is above the "engineering" type people whom I meet, so they are more aware of the "software" social constructions of things and the abstract reality of things etc. Yet, their arrogance is higher. Also, they are more polite and compassionate in my experience. This is why I like cs so much also, besides coding and the moral questions that are being asked for instance in a.i classes. Now, I did a good amount of work on Friday and studied early in the morning attend my classes and went back home, since a friend of mine gave me an opportunity to potentially earn some money. His father has a couple of companies and he had a heart attack, now he is the business executive of all of this stuff. They will sell an old apartment and all of the items and products inside, most of it is semi-trash some of it is sellable. Yet, they have for instance a different company which produces army trucks in the past, no idea how his father managed to do all of this mostly alone. He told me some crazy stories this is the guy who is going to become a doctor in the a.i / cs field. It's sad that he jumped off the spiritual path somehow because it was forced upon him because of his culture. He showed me his paper that he is writing about convoluted algorithms, obviously, I have no clue, yet I was interested and told him reading the abstract is fine, he explained his model to me and reduced the parameters used be using some sort of recursion? To 1.3 million and it is getting peer-reviewed now, I could find the paper online, I never thought I'd befriend a person who is a scientist or wants to become one. Still, it makes sense after my LSD trips and my upbringing + materialistic cultures and how to progress generally happens or is happening right now. I watched this documentary today, only the first part. Anyway, he showed me the store and I took one thing that I could potentially sell online, afterward we hung-out. This is one of the friends where I feel he is very yellow and I can talk about knowledge all-day, yet I noticed the number of books and knowledge he consumes, let alone solely through friends is very different from my media-driven peers and friends is different + he is just getting into more PD with nootropics and food, so I can't really talk much besides politics which is just standard somehow, with bi-racial compatriots or green + people. They don't understand how monoracial people project so much based on culture, language, etc. But, fine some do some don't. In the end, it is behavioral driven unfortunately social constructs exist. Like I read today in the students association, just gives me more incentives to leave these stupid people behind. Taking an objective standpoint and distancing myself is the best I can hope for, for deluded people. This region is not "woke" enough to enjoy it's nature even, the performance group does. The egalitarian people are acting as moralistic bourgeoisie and are more orange/green. Otherwise, I am shooting for a 2h session of meditation today, I usually do an hour and on Wednesday 1h and 45min. I'll visit some friends of my family today and we will be grilling, I will take my laptop with me and go there by bike for some exercise and enjoyment of nature. So, I can work on the two coding projects and make some progress and I don't have to cook This is what I partially mean with the journalism method. As long as there are internet and a place where I am not distracted I can work. I want to benefit more from that when I move into a larger city. I'll like working outside and indoors. Which is a bit difficult to find besides libraries. Besides that the friend showed me some courses that are doable in a.i about convolution networks and invited me to do some coding sessions, since he also dislikes to code alone the whole time, if you have a friend who can sit around and code for some time that is just nice, for some small talks breaks, getting through stuff and talking about problems here and there. For him he said it is motivating, he also gets very hyped explaining scientific stuff and general is ok with explaining and very very very good with details. So, I'll gladly take the invitation to do some coding sessions over the weekend. Yet, this will be either possible in October or in July as I told him because of my schedule. So, enough writing in a journal. I definitely want to think about the difference of having an online journal and a physical one. I thought about posting my physical journals. Not sure why gives me a feeling of accomplishment. As do video games etc. I read a book about this stuff etc. Now on to the journey towards no-self...

Wilber has a good example in his audiobook cosmic consciousnsss. For instance would you throw a person of a bridge in order to save the train from crashing and kill the pasengers inside. Also, the life boat moral question. I am not going into full detail, yet for instance on a life boat stage green would say everyone is equal, no one is better, and therefore draw sticks in order to throw someone of the boat and use the food rations therefore longer. Red would choose the most powerful and strongest person and dominate the whole situation and choose for instance a gang leader or warlord who would run the show who flies off the boat and who not, based on power, strength, threat level etc. Yellow would look for depth and span for instance two hells angles with Albert Einstein a normal couple, and a biology teacher on theone boat. The hells angles have to go. They do not provide a lot of value in the situation and are dangerous people to begin with, since their color code is red. Also, to society they do not provide much value. The biology teacher might know a trick or two to stay alive longer, the normal couple would be tricky to answer since they are a normal couple, to kill Albert Einstein would be nuts, because he provides the most value to society and is not a threat. Blue with the train example would jump infront of the train, if for instance his religion or set of beliefs would allow him to do so, for the greater good or god. Yellow would evaluate is the person highly valuable to society, who is in the train etc. Which is difficult to answer here. Green would not do anything since all lives are equal and who are they to decide etc.

@Andrewww You could try loving kidness meditation. Potentially, go to a festival a color festivial or so for a love feeling. I've only been to one festival, yet I did loving kindness meditation for some time. Which helped in daily live to feel more positive, happy, compasionate etc. in a "self-conditioned" way. https://self-compassion.org/test-how-self-compassionate-you-are/ Here is a good site you can have a look and see if it offers any benefits. It definitely helped me to gain awarness around self-compassion. It's from a quite well regarded Dr. imo. Her publications are even listed on the site.

Yeah, I like to see the differences to see the similarities. I like semantics, yet was more making a reference to syntactical aspects as well. I don't like to project my meaning of things onto another. I see it as an exchange of viewpoints. Anyway I am off topic, so I'll stop right here.

https://examples.yourdictionary.com/difference-between-ethics-morals-and-values.html I googled and checked what the difference is. Morals seem to stem out of values and values are internally derived inferences about what is right and wrong. Morals seem to be, what has been thought by others what is right or wrong, so they are an external standard. This is what I can make out of it for now. I never looked at it that way. Or simpler in mbti terms Fi vs Fe