ValiantSalvatore

@bloomer Bro please ?????? https://www.collinsdictionary.com/de/worterbuch/englisch/paradoxical THANKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yo currently I am quiet depressed I had an awesome date a couple of weeks ago with a women who had a lot of traits that are similar to my love map that I created from a relationship course. The point is the depression is quiet serious for me and even though meeting people is one fundamental way to solve that issue and to be social. People also can't tell that I am depressed or not as I easily can become enthusiastic. I still don't know if I can meet her as this level of depression is wrecking my life apart and I have to find a different way to solve that issue currently as I am at my wits end here. At best at a biological level. I consulted doctors I don't like to take anti-depressants and I generally eat healthy. I currently don't exercise as I am very frustrated with the results and quality of people at the gym. Especially there it triggers a lot of pain body stuff and I still need an operation. Good things: Things are slowly getting better I am just standing in my own way I usually am very honest and forward Date loved to meet me Nobody knows I am depressed so it does not affect other people She enjoyed talking about psychdelics She enjoyed talking about SD theory She enjoyed talking about spirituality and meditation She was very high in empathy and it felt healing talking to her compared to any other date I had She is also quiet adventerous and lived in another country She is interested in nothing serious which is perfect in my situation She was even interested to go clubbing with me in a better city Sexual attraction seemd to be one even with cam She liked my vision a lot Bad things: I guilt trip myself She lives further away I don't really have time for her I don't like to disappoint people I don't value sex as much and she lives further away which is bothersome with logistics I feel like grooming my dates to higher stages SD I won't absolutely be able to meet her in the next weeks as I have work to do and it is as tough as it is with depression and an irrevocable injury No abundance currently as I don't date and I don't go out Fundamentally it's my conscience holding me back because I am depressed and there are a few things that I find pretty toxic in myself, yet I can't fully work on this stuff. The meeting was post-poned as she was going on vacation she is back this week. Thoughts? About texting and meeting up? I'd basically drive to her city and sleep at her place and visit the city. That was the plan But I would have to tell her it's possible only in a couple of weeks as it's difficult as it is working with depression.

@bloomer There are various issue I don't think people properly comprehend. I made a list as it generally easier for people to comprehend as it's more readable if the text has some structure for others. If I'd had a a big picture answer I'd have more insight to take action. Not really it's just frustrating reading low quality answers. I don't agree with your opinion as well as your "equation" there are various forms of relationships that are valid. Basically we are both seeking to have a good time together and a casual relationship as well as having just some fun/one night stand or even friends with benefits. Basically nothing serious. If that is to much for you and I have to include every tiny detail in order to comprehend please don't answer any of my threads. It's quiet pointless. I give you the answer that seems to cause the missunderstanding. I am not exercising since 2-3 weeks. If something seemingly paradoxical is to much to handle for you. You have your own set of issues and should not provide help. So again please don't answer my posts then lol. Again please refrain from providing low quality answers. Anything big picture is appreciated or just quality advice. I answer low quality ones also, yet I will call that out!!!

@bloomer This provides close to 0 help. Quiet frankly I do care. I'd have to explain walls of text and this will quickly derail even then. I've been actively working out for 1 year and some stuff is more enviromental. I feel way better in certain enviroments. I am close to 0 as normie as possible. I will delete the thread/post with such low quality answers. I am sorry. This is very bad. I am also not looking for a long-term relationship. Please read carefully before you answer. I wrote she is not looking for something serious. Assumptions are a m*therfucker.

@Razard86 Lucid Dreaming is basically the western form of dream yoga which originated in Tibet. You can check-out Andrew Holeceks work. I downloaded his audiobook and practiced it a couple of times, although I'd prefer doing this over at a retreat. As this can really mess with you sleep schedule and I did not practice it seriously. https://www.andrewholecek.com/biography/ I never heard lucid dreaming in combination with manifestation, there are other issues that happen within the dreamscape I am not going to spoiler it also, as I generally am currently a bit skeptical as well as I don't have full control over my dreams, so I can't verify it myself. I've just recently started to practice manifestation for 7 months or so with my own meditations, can't really deny that it somehow worked, yet currently I regard it as a time waste and I am more interested in raising my level of consciouness as well as my emotional experience and manifest more fluently in that sense, instead of relying on techniques etc. I also act more on synchronistic events and I will definitely go back at it again in the future, meanwhile I had pretty bad/medicore results with manifestations although I took action. Although if I am very critical I did get what I want in a sense, yet it felt very draining.

@Kshantivadin Yeah I included it in my dating-profile as a description of myself, as I saw the idea somewhere and some women described their values also, it was interesting to see how they describe their values. Many really never think about this I mean people in general.

There is a lot of technical historical talk. I just leave this here as I am no expert on this subject, but I find this good as a big picture view.

I mostly let go of toxic values I do think this is more complicated than just values, as you have to provide the neccesary life conditions also. Yet from doing the LP. I re-organize my values Personal Growth Playfulness and Spontaneity Love Bravery and Courage Honesty Consciouness and Awareness Connection Freedom and Autonomey Learning and Understanding Adventure These are values Ì mostly live and integrate and re-integrate. If possible I internalized most of them, although this is not always possible. There is also way more to talk about. These are the values I live by I rate myself on how much I embody them each year at least and re-arrange them in order of importance. Sometimes life hits you very hard and priorities are just going to switch. Consciouness has been my highest value for years, now it's only pretty important. Also a lot of these overlap and many don't question how can I act them out? For instance adventure is quiet easy I could go for a bike ride with my family and/or alone. Or I could travel to Mexico. Although planning finding the right people provide some difficulties. Some of these values are quiet difficult to embody. Also there is way more nuance. I'll leave this here as thought-provoking impulse. You can also create values for your entire family to live by which would be highly integerous and part of having a conscious family etc. etc. It is also important to how you define your values and what it means to you etc. This is also a tool for free that might be helpful and insightful. I never fully utilized it, but I know it exists. https://www.mindtools.com/pages/article/newTED_85.htm

I contemplated this from a very young age as my aunt was Vegan and took care of many Animals and had an animal shelter. Sometimes it felt like she'd even put animals above humans and she consistently changed her diet choice for various reasons I lived Vegan and Vegeterian and generally from a level of consciouness perspective there is no way an animal as the same level of profundity then a human or complexity. You can even say that plants and insects have a level of consciouness as well as complexity that resembles that of a human. As a counter-argument to my argument above including animals. Just when you look at the sheer amazing complexity of life itself. Yet the issue is making it a 100% egaliterian and equalizing perspective and creating an absolutist stance which mostly causes backlashes because of the inherent moralizations, because everyone is supposed to be equal. This is impossible nobody is inherently totally equal. Equality is important, yet that does not mean we are all equal. Respecting the integrity and difference of the species is way more important. Human beings would not have survived for eons without eating meat and there are various diets even within different climate zones that help people. The overall point is that it is damaging because it is at an excess and animals are treated badly for selfish and demonic reasons as well as the effects it has on the globe as well on people themselves at an excess and it is abused If we as a whole would be more conscious about our consumption and of the various processes and systems that are in place we would definitely not slaughter billions of animals in cruel ways. The main issue is how do you solve this problem at the root? You want everyone to go Vegan and or Vegeterian? Create artifical meat that tastes similar as an alternative or lab produced meat that basically is meat? Find ways to reduce meat consumption on the planet by offering more healthy vegeterian and vegan options for people at grocery stores to keep factory farming at an minimum? I don't think without taking it to a "non-dual" perspective that you are basically the animal and are eating yourself. What are the moral and ethic implications of that when you are at that level of realization? Even if it is within dream/maya you basically have to feed yourself. When you eat a plant you are eating yourself, when you eat insects you are eating yourself. Then overall this still has repercussions in the dream/real world/illusion basically it's an continous harmonization process of the largest whole possible causing the least damage. Without the higher holon... there would not even be the notion of equality instead of a utiliterian perspective. It depends how you want to live and what creates equalibrium and the least damage overall for all participants on the globe. I don't think causality can be tricked so we cause zero causality and therefore damage, yet we definitely can reduce the overall damage of meat consumption by creating better conditions for animals and eating less meat. We are also animals/living beings, but we basically are the larger holon. Otherwise we would not have that much influence. Hope this is good food for thought, my thinking on this definitely is not fully ripe. Mabye it is dunno. I do eat meat, I only eat chicken and fish, sometimes red meat, it depends if survival hits you most morals and ethics fly out of the window lol.

I found it weird that all of these concepts popped up a couple of years ago in my YouTube feed. I deleted pretty much all of these videos as it was just to werid and seemed like an invention of some sort to explain some dynamic. I don't have time to watch the video entirely. Yet gender itself is constructed especially socially. I'd most likely fall into the category of a sigma male from what I saw during that time (2years ago) as they displayed it as introverted alpha. People apparently are abusing these concepts and re-inveting them. At the beginning I thought it was a cool alternative for introverts. I don't really know what that means I generally always stayed away from alpha/beta/sigma w/e. Categorizations as they just seemed to divisive. As well as they are adding stuff. Dunno sounds like a bogus invetion when I skip the video for some self-serving agenda of humans.

I've been quiet fortunate till now to not be sucked into to much drama in spiritual circles. Last time something similar happened I checked the place and even received some helpful advice and interaction as they had their own complete own version, yet just were to young imo. Although ultimately peoples interest drifted apart and they split. Most places I've been to are relatively healthy, yet there are the same biases often within the same group of peoples. That is why I liked Shinzen so much as he admitted his past mistakes of abusing weed and being unavailable to people and even seeking psychiatric advice at the age of 60 or so and changing his ways of teaching to serve the people. Not vice-versa. Most spiritual circles even integral have had and have the common issue with suicides, sexual abuse, violence and guru power abuse. There is nothing perfect, only progress. Not denying the feeling of perfection that is something different. Shadow work and trauma work is what mostly negates these efforts and is also Wilbers call IIRC for a fourth turning in budhhism. Generally every spiritual place should have some shadow work module. @Leo Gura Recruting people certainly is devious if it is done in an and especially from a place were people have been exiled from. I always wondred that every coach/spirituality session offer on this forum does not even make the effort to make a reference back to the place they advertise from. As a gesture of appreciation. Lovely ignorance. Not even mentioning in the videos. For me that is not how conscious business looks like. Can you also not copyright strike them for the design of the forum or was this made with a commercially available tool? I would ban 90% of your forum anyway lol. But okay.

@Max_V https://www.nature.com/articles/s41598-020-74140-7 https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-athletes-way/202010/more-proof-vigorous-workouts-boost-fluid-intelligence Found this. Unsure if this helps though.

I've been with a few knowingly gifted people and I was supposed to be tested, yet I did not test it because out of fear of general social condemnation, when my test results are bad as well as my own levels of self-criticisms. I had a lot of issues with this too and I also have an issue with the other side and an overfocus on praticalities etc. There are various issues people do not understand about these people and also there are a couple of generalizations already in this thread, that are misleading. For example many gifted people are also highly sensetive to their enviroment and feel emotions intensely. The issue is the eliteism within any "esoteric" and not exoteric group. Of course this helps for orientations sake, yet that does not mean it's true. I thought about doing it out of a sense of practicalities and getting benefits for further academic studies, yet a lot of academic people are really "stupid". I don't like the way they approach life and general that character is not taught anymore and it's just a technical speed race. I talked just recently to someone who was did psyches and does giftedness coaching for kids as well as he studied this for kids, he certainly knows his limits, we was quiet adament about testing me, as I was supposed to help with different concepts that exist within that spectrum. I could not do it legit out of bad experiences and social condemnation and a lot of gifted people he explained me have that fear. Especially not having an academic family etc. He did not make intelligent decisions, yet these decision were more the product of how he was educated, instead of he himself. While other gifted people had very good parenting and/or the ressources to address issues. This is my opinion. Also there is a lot of arrogance in normal people against gifted people who also have issues, especially the perception of giftedness/high iq. I meet a few gifted people in my life and they helped me a lot during times of uncertainity and chaos, where "normal" people would never have the cognitive capacity to do it. I usually get along well with them, yet the overfocus on technical analysis in academia is just bad in my opinion. The more linear your thoughts, the better usually it is. While big picture thinking is also a big facet of "IQ", but there is barely any focus of it from what I heared from my gifted friends they all complain about this. But see the technical overfocus as a neccessary reality. Whatever. I do agree for me it is heavily demoralizing and I appreicate a more holistic and flattend perspective of the concept, also to not further benefit a body of thought that is full with ideas of meritocracies. I do think when it comes to learning intellectual humility is far more important and admitting ones ignorance. A lot of gifted people I meet were the nicest people and the most compassionate people I ever got to know, the point is everybody is an idiot and everyone has different capacities in the domain sheer cognitive intelligence. When I did the screening for it I was suprised that I even fall into the category of it as well as which categories stood out, legit pissed me off. And I do have legit my own set of problems because of it. Just alone that the concept of IQ exists. Trust me I hated it for years and now I am supposed to benefit from it. I am also pretty sure IQ can be increased 100000% when people life and eat healthy, especially when young. There are new studies that are coming out everyday that I read for example cognitive speed does not decline till the age of 60. I can also just say again this is about understanding differences and including them. Not to demonize any other side... --- I don't like it either when someone is more intelligent than me in any sense it triggers competition, yet I through praticing intellectual humility and admitting that I don't know what I don't know, I learned a lot from more intelligent people. I could write endlessly about this, yet I don't think it is useful. I do also get hung-up about this because it's essential for survival in a sense and I did not have the best experience with it. Even though I qualify for testing as gifted. It's ridiculous. I find the concept of IQ generally is a lot just about ego and survival. Nobody likes to feel stupid and feel disrespected.

Today some clubs are opening again and I am going out with some friends. I still have the biggest issue with just approaching, I usually have a lot to a decent amount of fun when going out. I have the biggest issues with approaching and knowing what to say. I did not approach a lot of women yet approx 10 or as I am selective as well as it's just not easy. What can I say as an opener? When I sort of free flow and associate I just said. hey you look cute, can I grab your number? hey want to dance? That is quite generic I know more polarazing openers, yet I have issues being nudged into doing it as well as I never tried them as they are out of a book for example. I'll lost my notes these are out of a book. Who do you think is the stronger gender men or women? Who cheats more men or women? Who are better liars men or women? Who is more dominant in relationships men or women? Would you rather not have sex for one year or not use your phone for one year? Do strong men still exist? I have issues coming up with stuff on my own for example I would say. How come most men are scared of leading are women the better leaders? What are your thoughts about feminine guys do they turn you on? Would you ever date a serial killer? Pick 3 people in the club who would you fuck, kill or marry? What is a drink no man should ever order? Would you attend a gay marriage? I like your black dress. I like XXX, what was the worst compliment you ever received? What do you think about unsocial guys? Again, my question is what are good openers? What worked for you? Note: The ones out of the book are indirect openers that tend to be polarazing and get the group engaged/befriend etc. These are apparently for sets with 3-4+ girls and mixed groups.

@JosephKnecht I like Eckhart Tolle's take on this when a burning log is placed next to another log a larger fire is being created, I am obviously paraphrasing. I contemplated this too online and offline with retreats offline and online about energy transmisson... Speaking from personal experiences I am quiet sensetive to energy, emotions, vibes of a room or field. There have been cases where I felt the whole group drags me down as well as the whole group uplifts me. It's like similar when you go out and everyone is in a super good mood because of a warm summer day and suddenly you get infected by the mood of the group, when you allow sort of the experience. At a zen retreat I felt after people finally stopped complaining as beginners and started to get into the practice the headmonk of the monastary lead the isness of the experience this was in Soto Zen. I was amazed by the level of guidance on an energetic level how well he adjusted to the whole field of influxes that occures. Every tiny bit and I generally felt very uplifted and my experienced deepend everytime the energy shifted towards depth of what consciouness is. Same with online retreats as people reported their practice and talked in a Vipassana style, as apparently they talk to much. You get a sense or impression of the field of people and their mental state, physical state, experiences etc. Some reported very advanced states that I could not comprehend so I moved back sort of to my reality bubble. When I had an incling of getting into the depth of consciouness the guidance was often so good, it felt like I even orchastrated the whole experience, via my "state" as well as uplifted and deepend other peoples practice. Like a great coach etc. who would give in any given area drive towards more depth of the experience. So I definitely felt the energy of the group as well as even the weather, depth and experience of the coach and/or teacher helped with the deepening, Not with explaining the technique in a better way, but with their own depth of consciouness. Generally this contains the whole idea of Shaktipa (energy transmission) or not? I am not very familiar with it. Not wanting to derail the specifics of the questions, yet I definitely would say that there she could have experienced it that way and it actually just happend, she could have caused it herself or you legit caused it lol. There are so many scenarios. Of how, what and why. I'd definitely believe it's possible, yet I would not believe by accident, she could have made it up etc. TLDR; Simply said I do think energy is contagious that goes for for the push and pull of it too as well positivity and negativty. For example feeling drawing to an exotic place, women, nature, certain animals etc. As well as repusled by some of it. Etc. I never hit a "true" non-dual state, so this is sort of my take on this. This is Shinzens explanation, yes it's a bias.

@Spence94 I looked briefly at the skyline it's beautiful! I don't know if I ate Sichuan hotpot, but I love freaking hotpot and Sichuan is the hotpot state IIRC. Also learning Tai Chi I personally think is just cool I've tried it once at an retreat in person from a guy. It was actually difficult only for one day and 30 minutes though lol. I know what you mean . You should definitely get in contact with Shinzen he's been quite adamant about dispersing his unified mindfulness to chinese culture, as spirituality is dying there. Also his unified mindfulness is quiet popular there and I bet you'd find a lot of friends and contacts via him in China. I only know one way to contact one of the life practice programm attendes who lives dircetly in China. A chinese guy who likes Ken Wilber called Sheekus. Via the integral forum, yet I don't know how often he uses it. Otherwise you can 100% contact Shinzen formally him via the site linked below. You can easily apply and ask all kind of questions, for instance also just I am an intermediate meditator learning shinzens system etc. wanting to ask for how I can spread mindfulness through chinese culture at best finding new contacts and people to teach and learn from etc. Don't be shy in that sense. I usually try to attend this once a year, as this is exclusive time to speak with a legit western master in that sense and to check-in with my level of practice. He'd also love your pretty sure for having interst in Chinese culture and tradition. Usually not as many people apply, yet I can give you the e-mail of the organizer in case you want to reach out that way, in case she still does it. Yet not publically if I still have it or her skype contact and she'd be pleased about hearing brining mindfulness to the east via Shinzen. Also Shinzen is a giant fan of asian culture, that should not be a secret. https://www.lifepracticeprogram.com/guest-info Also, hell yes if I ever go to China again especially for a longer time I'll contact you! I'd doubt at this point that it will happen, yet you never know. Unsure who else to ask there are also unified mindfulness coaches in China pretty sure through Shinzen, I bet he can link you up, bet it's via Facebook though so VPN might be neccessary. Hope this helps and again. Much success and good luck!

@Spence94 You're welcome . Yeah living and working is definitely challenging. I was happy that they have so many restaurants and the food is usually very good. Then coming home and studying chinese etc. Wish you much success in your personal development as well as self-actualization endeavours. As well as studying chinese.

@Spence94 I dunno where you live in China I lived in China for 6 months. I generally had a similar experience that most of the time people are kind hearted, lovely and beautiful. I stayed in Beijing and my company also had some foreigners from the EU and I was able to meet them through the agency that brought them there. I am from Germany, but half American as well as half/half in ethnicity white and black. Fears, judgements, projections etc. I've seen most of it there, besides violence. I generally still would say my experience with it was better then in the E.U as people are not as hypocritcal and deny the differences. I am unsure what the post is about. I'd love to provide feedback, yet I can only relate to the experience partially, also 5 years is an enormously long time staying in a foreign country and culture. When I travlled through China to Shanghai and Xiamen as well as a couple of other cities. Mainly in the big ones Beijing, Shanghai I meet a lot of westerners in hostels. Many stayed there to study or are teachers. For example I was talking to three english teachers two from the U.K and one from the U.S (all white) talking about life conditions there. Most seemed to love it and earned a decent amount of money from what I can recall. Yet had struggles with relationships and finding new opportunities besides gaining some certificates? For teaching higher level english or w/e. Some were torn between continuing living there, good food, awesome people, a lot of comaredery, generally cheap, awesome culture, amazing travel opportunities inside the country and going back to western lives. Also the level of propaganda is quiet insane if you compare it to the west, visiting for example the Temple of Heaven in Beijing with my chinese boss, he explained to me that old people are singing to the state and it's glory worshipping it close to god. I asked him and he said it's not really his "tea" although he had a deep respect for chinese culture etc. Hope you are doing fine I saw some weird shit on YouTube channels explaining some issues living in China, I don't know if it is bloated "haze". Yet, he explained westerns not allowed to travel outside the country, goverment denying stuff etc. Accusations of rape because of visiting massage palors and being beaten then police not doing anything because he is western. Again unsure where you live I found an apparently legit meditation teacher who tought westerners, yet the group was quiet exclusive as they meet via WeChat and the organizer was the kind of women who is deeply stuck in orange, she was unable to just add me to the group and let me do stuff on her own lol. So, I was unable to join. I bet you can also do awesome first class retreats in Burma/Vietnam with legit masters etc. As it was rather difficult finding something in regards to spirituality that was not tai chi. Which would be hardcore, if you are into that stuff. You definitely should contact Shinzen Young or Janusz Welin I once asked them for retreat locations of legit masters as I wanted to stay there for 3 months etc. https://deepmindfulness.io/about https://www.twitch.tv/deepmindfulness You can ask questions live there are not many people and the dude is very open he did a retreat in Burma and hit stream entry, that was my question... I do think the seperation you feel is quiet normal on a relative level, I liked for example the level of compassion of the chinese people a lot as well as the what ever works works attitude and focus on skill development and consistently appreciating that. All the craftsmanship I saw in China was amazing and blew me away, temples, just even how nature sculpted itself etc. Let alone how one country can be so big. At the sametime I missed my western friends and lifestyle feeling not restraint in this giant box which was Beijing and the "mega city" life. Also just by my teenage upbringing and friendships I feel a lot closer to asian people usually, I mainly missed the casual conversations and just spending time walking around with western friends, eating, drinking, laughing etc. I loved living in China and would most likely move there again. I attempted learning chinese on my own, yet I did not get very far , so I know how that undertaking feels. I tried reading and speaking mainly.

@Leo Gura Wow I'd thought this was still in line and a nice guy move or at least bold and edgy I said it like I was curious and happy. Whatever I just won't do it.

@Leo Gura Aight I see what comes to mind. Last time I've said something about I'd love to see some naked boobs loud into the public then the barkeeper came with us into the club and said smth. silently with boobs and I ellbowed her boobs like 3 times with enough space. She just ran into me like on purpose with her boobs. This sh*t will definitely take some training. I'll see what improv interests come up as well as to speak with authority and clear intent. Aight aight I just see what I can come up with and what will happen in the moment. Thanks again for the exemplar. I'll see how far I'll get with all of this and focus on opening and being improvisational. Last time I triggered teacher when I improvised I laughed at her and myself and kept teasing her about, how can you teach elementary school children osmosis, I thought this is so funny. At one point she grabbed my hair angrily and shook me. In good jest. She had a boyfriend though. I'll see what will happen I think I am with the right people.

@vindicated erudite Thanks I'll see what I can free flow associate with. And inquire about themselves.

@vindicated erudite Yeah I am with friends, I like to connect people so I don't really care. I just need a fun topic.

@Leo Gura Thanks a lot also! How do you follow up though? Asking about interests what she's doing here and then going for number asking for haning-out inside the club or if they want to join us and staying till the set closes? I re-watched your part 2 of getting laid series and there was a lot of info. I do have to re-watch it again though and then take action. I do think outergame is the bigger issue than my inner game currently. --- @vindicated erudite I'll add the technical nuance, this is for opening an entire set of more than 3-4+ girls and mixed groups IIRC. I did not mention that. That is my bad. A direct opener I would use what you wrote, yet I will open larger sets also. I really like attention so the indirect openers are for larger sets. My own openers are bad I admit etc. etc. but okay.

@Federico del pueblo Thanks a lot!. I'll copy this and modify it as well as use the lines that already fit within my personality or I like. Yeah I am a bit afraid of the follow up as well as how fast physical escalation can work. I'll just focus on the opener just opening and seeing IOT's is good enough for starters. Also all of these are sort of the supercategory of observational openers. Thanks again. I'll see what will happen and works for me.

@something_else Yeah that is what I also thought observational openers could work the best for me. These openers are supposed to work for bars and clubs. What summarized. What are simple openers to you? I'd like to focus on just opening first and learning that for a while and then move on.