ValiantSalvatore

With enough experience in this I can even get out of the matrix it's funny legit. It's also something I could offer within a company etc. As well as would hone deeper skill building I would just go there tomorrow, omfg I can't belive I could make a tiny list also like Teal Swan and look for more details and continue with the shadow work. When I have more income I also include a psychotherapist every 2 weeks, to just work on me beign "perfect" at blue. I don't neccessarily... thing this will cease to exist... if stage orange last so long into age.... anyway.

Currently I am contemplating what life choices I could have done to find it was good to get laid, I don't enjoy at times beign human.... I just started to enjoy it more I also would appreciate it more if I'd had an animal. As I would think more about life. I just have some plants here, yet they are very small. The point for me currently is the following. I don't know exactly what happend that I feel internally that I've downgraded as much. I feel that connecting to women emotionally and sexually currently is the best gateway, I notice how social contagion is being funneled into me. There are some dreams and desire I'd long to create, yet fundamentally the girl from yesteday ish? Was really perfect... I just miss that having masculine friends is great. As well as working on projects that I love and the underlying pain just at times does not want to make me work harder/smarter... Usually stuff does to happen, especially when I show my face... somehow humans appreciate me besides some envious dogs and clowns. I remember also how currently all patterns happen. I bet I was the first one she banged over Tinder as new accounts generally like me more than older ones. I might have neglected the coolness aspect of materalism a lot, and the more stage red type of assertivness and animal type thinking... materalistically, although I've burnt plenty of it. What I can for sure tell is the following. My vision was never as crip and clean and sequential as I'd hope it'll be The intellectual domain is and was a level of escapism that I did not see before as deeply, it's also growth Having a girlfriend that I can count on and I can giver her security would make me feel more happy than having a lot of ONS Dating a stage green girl that is impractical is not good I legit would say a lot of things that would disclude me from yesterday, like I love her etc. The memory is nice to open my heart.... I wish I would be in the working force, yet ultimately all of this suffering is just there. Even today when I make a huge list of what makes me happy. I would say depth, not my abillity to produce depth physically is restricted... emotionally I dunno due to meditation. I legit dropped into a very deep lethargy when I did not drink coffee omfg. I did not believe it. just taking more action and successes make me happy.... I never noticed how much I crave success, yet I've been around to many merit type of loosers, who made it tricky to embody the emotion and solo successes for sure are different, they just build baseline confidence. Yet success in some socially respected domain for sure can create happiness in me. Generally just doing social activities successfully not work, yet a gym visit etc. And then the seperation of that... I'd still like to relish in the success of yesterday. Yes! I finally got laid after messaging so many girls and producing so much effort and pre-planning and it was just one single girl, that was almost neatly as perfect..... And I did not enjoy it that much, even if it was perfect.... yet that makes the dream good no? I have tears in my eyes typing this. She might intutively been even higher as she was an INTJ with a more uncommon life experience my wild guess... yet I showed her also my scar.... that I have since birth.... it might just be stuff in my head is more enjoyable than things in the real world.... I loved it how she caressed it and said it looked like thunder... I just loved it that she narccistically enjoyed my body, that I legit before worker so hard to train, just to build also physical not only mental intimacy. I miss having more romantic type of experiences.... many of them were better in memory than in person.... for me at least. The girl I deeply loved and we went to Paris and I thought about kissing her on the eifel tower constantly both thinking oh this has to be perfect, and she legit often walked away when I felt the intention to do it. Beign more practical creating more flow and goals. Having more love and access to depth.... emotionally, physically, mentally, intellectually.... what else is there legit to do?... spiritually. ----- More real world thoughts: The city might overall still be to small to consistently meet and get new girls. Scheduling a masculine shooting and buying some sunglasses etc. other steps that give me joy. Buying some products technical products and development. I don't see progress that well and I found a new other community where I am very much appreciated.... this also feels so good.... I just don't know exactly. I really enjoy it to dominate physically, I notice I need more smaller rewards. I enjoy to be seen on camera I love to self-reflect. Even if I'd be an A.I I would find flaws in my abillity to do capacity X. How awesome is that? Is growth truely not ever-ending? What happend to my metaphysical inclinations to turned the pussy wet of girls like this yesterday, what happend to intellectual domination instead of scyophancy. What happend to this type of linguist domination that so many enjoyed? That brought me even a lot of wins and mental advantages. It's mostly the channeling of stage blue expert thinking to higher ideas and releams for diversity and variety. ---- Creating numbers, scaling products, making profits, cashing in, having money, spending more larger loads of money, beign an idiot at times, strengthening and hoening physical prowess. And now Yoga on a discount 便宜 bitches I can't man just someone send me to prision finally to have a ring battle with Andrew Tate. I dunno maybe I am just wrong. I am learning all of IT ALL OF IT! How can I be so blind? The most ridiculous alpha pua does the female and the male stuff. It's ridiculous.

I dunno I presume the actions just spoke for themselves. It legit had tiny bits of god-like elements I meditated the whole time, when I was conscious of it, she was impacted by this, yet I was not hitting any deeper flow states. I just wish they could be a little taller currently, bro I love you for the advice I don't even believe it .

Pretty much sums it open, imagine I broke through all of it alone again, just to have it taken by smth. I don't have a single point of influence in besides when I really go down memory lane, yet these are scenarios based on advice from others where time played a role. The point is you're a natural clearly, I do have to learn parts of game just "beign myself" is advice that does not work. That is what I meant! She became me, there is no difference just physical bodies corroborating each others intent. I loved to do it with LSD with her to explore more the conscious aspects, yet I missplayed it eventually I thought I just need tabs in case this happens again. Bro her pussy smelled so nice :( You legit are a god! I will just do Yoga eyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy . It's legit 1 min away from me and I get some connection and train my body&health etc. I never meet a guru, mostly just meditators and one who is deeply enlightend in that sense, it's a way more dry dynamic. I have something else in memory from David Deida and being more of a lover instead of a friend etc. She should not play the role of a friend, yet I might be wrong. Thank you all in all I will just start yoga I did a course before from Sadghuru as I wanted to do a retreat in India . Thanks for the deeper interconnection of topics! I would not have Googled Yoga for 1h now . I am going to be a dirty yogi . I can't belive this shit at times it's to funny. I love you thanks! That is the weirdest thing, yet so true. I missed the interconnections of worlds and crafting and continuing to crafte in mine and this world! That is true she intutively yearnd for this, it's funny that when you code this into an algorithm.... all stakeholders improve their selection apparently. Yeah I dunno, yet thank you for all the insights! I will do Yoga the region here is based on connection and I am the idiot who keeps looking at the wrong ends partially.

Overall I am learning immensely with little experience. The point is making it enjoyable and beign grateful and not a doormat, to integrate animal & god at the sametime.

I dated a bunch of girls last week. She is not replying I was curious I should have asked for a number, this was advice from guys who are telling me to stop doing rocket science in a sense. I presume I made her feel good she would have even stayed longer for an hour to take the subway back, I do like her. I drove her back instead. I cried on the way back in the car because of her life story and just human history etc. I might overall been to nice still you see? She enjoyed it a lot when I was dominating her telling me. I do have long-hair for a reason. This is somewhat a common pattern in my life. Girls are wild definitely. This is most likely it I did not ask for a number and in that sense continued the connection, as she said yes in person to future meet-ups post-sex. She seemed to have enjoyed it otherwise we would not have done it for 2h, as well as willing sit on my lap readily post-sex the point is girls expect a little more also when you're buff/atheletic, and I lost a lot of masculine drive you see? (I believe she really liked my dick but okay she also said it and moaned quiet load). She is most likely also dating around as she is young 20 years old, so I just thought also fuck it, if it does not work, let her have fun. I am having fun on my own with her and without her. We did bond definitely not all to deep, I'd say it was good. If it was that great she'd most likely would reply to some manner afterwards. There was no focus on autonomey, I did not ask for her number simply as I figured the app is fine to persevere the bond you see? Apparently that was the wrong choice from all the feedback I've gathered, although the experience alone let me grow I still notice it it was fantastic, and I am grateful to her. I just seem to be confusing my body is bombarded with 10k impulses for different reasons, so I might at times act like I am socially unaware, yet I am physically more aware.... than I thought.... so yeah. Next time I ask for a number and build more sexual intimacy, and connect more emotionally, I've found better questions, I do also have more life experience hence the connection was not as big, if she would have told me more about her life I would have broken out into tears, it's insane how f'ed the world is based on war. To be more specific and practical to the points you've made! Correct she wants me to take action and lead 100% of the time and still take into account her desires etc, I could have led more it's insane how much she would have appreciated me as a honry dog in terms of contrast. I could have gotten her number and called her to take action and continue the bond, be like hey what's up you enjoyed last night?. I'll let you know when I am free etc. The point is I never noticed how sexual girls even see me, just reading analyzing and implementing is a great tool! She poked fun at me and "shit tested" as a computer science guy, I bet you've did not see a lot of tities, I told her I've seen a couple and played around more with them (sincerity). I took mostly action from these test, it's more like I never acted on sexual impulses and girls seem to be very open to me sexually. She loved my larger lips and she could not get enough of them legit! She kept asking me if I like it slow and or fast. My brain does not compute these concepts I legit wanted to make her squirt the whole time, and have a double orgasm. She legit became me in that sense that was the most interesting observation, my desire was her desire in that moment, if I could have we both would have cum. It legit was perfect ??. I did not come most likely due to emotional reasons having been to the doctor the day before, and changing health perspectives and goals and life plans etc. No, I feel this costed sexual polarity between me and the girl as I was to nice, and not more animalistic. Best friends vibe imo is not good from conscious information from David Deida, she wants to be taken and f*ed at least this was how it felt to me as well as for her. Basically ravishing her having more of this "animal connection". It would be more enticing if I would have asked and move more into sexual topics and likes and dislikes, we might have been to friendly you see? I don't know how she personally feels without asking and having her number I presume, yet if she is not responding she simply does not care. I can ask her for a girls number next time, I had to distill some essentials and focus more on connection part, I at times can be very intellectual and saiposexual if we're mentally not clicking the bond is not that strongly on for me. Even if sex is good etc. I enjoy it when she's a little more teasing etc. Generally connecting more on an emotional level, my heart does seem to become more open despite all mistakes, all it takes is experience. The point is beign assertive and confident is still very important and not beign a doormat. Anyway thank you! No need to respond further if you're not yourself interested this is plenty of feedback in the outer/inner field of attraction and dating. Thank you a lot!!! Also thanks for not pocking and or making fun of me, I sometimes feel I notice more than even, so called advanced gamers. Although it's mostly based on physical bonding, so you're intuition is correct. I do just have to learn more here so again thank you!

Most likely the complexity of the response, spiral dynamics is not as good as Wilbers model imo who goes more into the depth of holons and how evolutions is nested within smaller and larger holons, the higher can't exist without the lower. The point is there is also ego development and spiral dynamics is about values mostly. Ego development is more of a hallmark than value development generally speaking and is independent of what makes a full grown actualized beign in that sense. Spiral dynamics is an enactment of internal values, and life conditions foster them. Person B for example is more evolved than Person A as he/she recognizes the relativity and importance of the earlier stages like an adult realizes the validatity of a perspective of a child, when I hold a blue ball and the child can't developmentally comprehend that I see the world differently than it (red egocentric stage) and he/she tells me it's blue and I tell her no it's orange, it can't realize that I tricked it. Till the next stage occures where group-thinking and perspectival higher/later thinking occures. Fundamentally the distinction is based on perspectives the n'th perspective of smth. will include all previous perspectives. Hence why it's later/higher. Stage turqouise is not the peak of evolution there is third tier. This evolution is still happening just most don't do it and it's not enforced in a massive scale. Academics will be cognitively Turqouise/Yellow mostly, yet they can't go beyond as third tier is transcendental thinking, conventional thinking interconnecting etc is just different here. For example when I had a taste of what consciouness is (absolute discernment) it just is, it's not an ordinary state of consciouness. Distinctions and space became clearer and clearer. That is also only cognitive, not emotionally and morally, omfg that is abhorrently regressive imo. Most academics are according to O'Fallon on stage orange/blue of spiral dynamics if you dovetail models.

I continued reading the book it takes for ever and cracks me up, as I see more of the orange/blue liberterian reality and libertine = wüstling/freigeist etc. It's still odd to contemplate all of this and move more into the animal domain of life and simply embrace it. The girl was quiet hot I am legit proud of myself in a sense that I laid her and fked her for 2h. She legit hided the condom first, dude I was amazed by how far I could got and how much girls enjoy raw animalistic pleasure and dominance, I could have done way way way more, yet I lost a lot of edge. I would like to see how hot yoga would go and more just "deep domination aspects of sex" as well as how this connected this time to the value of connection also senses etc. I could sell myself better.

Yeah this is more in alignment of the better advice, I did not ask for a number I can be emotionally very closed off, as I contemplate emotions a lot. Anyway she does not text back I could have just asked her for her number and said to her I'll let you know when I am free. So I intutively have her back as well as I am not constraining her. I did not go for this simply I was to much into logic mode. I don't fear commitment I might just don't really know what it is. I must have made it slightly akward by not asking for the number. I thought keeping it on the app was better as I dated 4 girls this week and the only one where I did not have the number I legit laid her. Although I could have gone more with the flow = create flow, yet I do have some issues with that currently energetically after the injury I noticed it's a mental construct still it has a physical reality, I don't feel as strong anymore, hence loosing masculine presence. Yeah I definitely could have asked for her number, instead of keeping it on the app. I received the same advice in a sense with going with the flow. The point is providing security in terms of confidence and strength seems to be the biggest turn on, and ever since the injury I don't feel as strong and bold anymore, so I do my best with the current strength I've had building mental strength and resilliance is what seems to be also possible. What I lack currently is conviction in my vision and life, as I drew a lot from this through physical health now it's mostly emotional and mental. I definitely need both techniques and mindsets etc. I don't at times have the energy anymore to maintain flow that deeply. So I might deviate from more fine-tuned flow that is not that palpable in the connection process with the girl, the point is also as I do a lot of flow based type meditation I create a lot of flow. At times you don't even get credit for it, yet I could just simply take it.... similar to how I laid her... so that is interesting. Thanks for sharing thoughts and giving me the opportunity to reflect properly! As well as connecting more emotionally, generally all of this is very interesting.

I am thankful for finally getting laid with a hot and young girl as well as having good sex I am thankful for meditating today I am thankful for going into the gym right now I am thankful for improving my dating skills I am thankful I am not banging and dating girls for long who are incompatible and unfit to me I am thankful for the beautiful weather and envisioning the future

The only thing that I can take from this is that I can apply the training more often, of sequences and don't bother with visualizing to much and make it more of a set sequence, when I recall actively this is also where I had the best results, when I made it to elaborate it did not fully workout anyway...

I could go slower, I was a bit to ambitious and energetic, I don't know if I crippled my own vision. There are different things. This is ultimately it. I did not have the abillity to pursue that level of significance and proper planning. This is perfect, also I did not find the right proper way I am legit I did not do the proper thing. I thought I was thinking long-term, I notice how I keep thinking in poverty, by not creating the social abundance I never noticed. Maybe this is what the value of connection was about. Social abundance..... with a bit more smartness...... Hacking &Slaying posts: Unsure what else to think currently, I don't feel like I can fully enjoy beign me. I did not invest in proper fundamentals as it's so implied in German society also at times because we still value mastery heavily, yet not the mastery of entrepreneurship this is why many are so interested in it nowadays. I don't know how far I go into my life purpose, I legit decided to not do the operation for now... it took my two years to mull this over and test with various things and aspects coaches, and information. Currently I just notice and feel how difficult it is when you're framed into multiple things and even when you have a holy plan, how many different obstacles you have to sort of over-visualize to make the same vision still correct. I don't know if consistenty is not efficient I don't know. I wanted to do this. This also gave me multiple impetuses, I do feel liberals don't value fundamentals as much. Today is YU day. We'll get this without turning into demons, yet demons shall be purified. I don't know what is better my reflections and reviews or my implementations. I do still say shadow work and vision most likely is the true me from all this work.

1h meditation with visualizations, they are not fully crips, I don't know exactly why and which mechanism works the best I do a tiny bit better guided, as well as practice of what I visualize is also needed, I might slowly build the vision, it's mostly goals and activites around coding and mathematics and women as well as health. To be very specific is still not easy.

I also believe watching most of Leo's content made me immune and aware of the toxic pitfalls and obviously the only other German in there takes it super real because of privacy. I can be a little more loose thanks to skin color, yet I clean up basically the other end. I legit am a fool, as well as I miss proper skill and health. Basic power it's not all to bad just it's not the most optimal living strategy though I am confused ngl.

If my life is that chil that I can enjoy beign a fat buddah and can get laid, why do I care about anything? What I notice is a bit of the creator drive.... I miss the abillity to be exellent in multiple domains. As well as study more deeply things feel more effortless and I careless. I also don't know what generally is up with the asian gang types liking me, somehow white women is not working out as well. I've read also stuff about psychological dominance. Anyway I just wonder how good enough can beat perfect, as it consistently does. All I can say now I am pretty rejuvinate for all dreams and goals for a while, as I made several long-term health changes. I wonder also why my libido is so low. I miss perfect drive, optimal health etc. Let's see I can still run the overall knee stuff did not get worse the doctor said. But fuck I want a regular shooting range you would not believe me, to just feel power and drive and amp the state.

I miss going hard. But yeah it is what it is.

Let's see I hope I played it well. Going to play one video game meditate and report.... I applied late for a program. They put me on the waiting list. Ambition for me really is on hold and on at the sametime. Just when you thought things get more perfect and or can't get more perfect. Let's hope and do my best. Maybe better opportunities are coming.

Just leaving this here I never watched that episode. I actually know why I'd enjoyed more having a spiritual partner, let's see she seems to have interest in all of this. Sex is certainly not at least till now the thing until it becomes more spiritual life transcending otherwise it's mostly enjoyment & entertainment, connection building etc. Yeah..... me beign me..... how to be a dominant introvert could be a new thing. I am still not horny, because so much happend I don't know could all just be emotionally as I had the doctors appointment and I know I have the performance drive I felt quiet bad for not pleasuring her into a squirt, yet she legit moaned so loud the whole time. She also started heavily masturbating her clit at one point, but bro I do apparently have to do rocket science for stuff or let's say robotics. I just call it spiritual robotics. Till we're fking archetypes in 5D. I do have to do this expert shadow work thing, so I can finally funny make the disqualiying alpha moves, it's like I am in a good college cult, without the hard drugs. I realized also especially now how sexy power has to be for a women, also for some the intellect that was the pinnacle during the two hours of "arrogance turned into self-serving pleasure" and seemingly pointing beyond sollipsism.

Well I got layed. She also seemed to have to enjoyed it, she moaned very loud like I was scared the neighbour was going to hear us. She was absolutely beautiful for a young girl and I was surprised what I could have done, I took it very very very... very.... very..slow be basically had sex for 2h.... making out fucking, the point is I did not enjoy it as much it was nice to build connection I cried afterwards in the car just about the lifestory of the person, also how kind she was while I acted not very manly. I lost a lot of edge a lot ever since I got injured still I might have to absolutely drop coffee for sensetivity my nervous system is so overaroused. I did not cum after having sex for 2h and she moaned the whole time more honestly and she really enjoyed I saw it, I sensed it and I did not fully have the edge to ravage her. It was nice to see her in enjoyment of herself she gave her best also to make me cum..., yet I just could not I dunno why. I noticed even a solo experience on LSD was more sensual and also how tolerant I became to sensual experiences.... it's like I find depth only in utter despair, alone and in pain... I am unsure what to do, I stopped caring for a lot of things. She was also introverted absolutely lovely and beautiful from a personalities perspective. It's almost to perfect. By type she is/was by guess 1w9 INTJ architecture student gal. It's odd how manly intellect is a self-induced orgasm. Boah no idea I am tired will stop writing about this and sleep. She gave me a blowjob, titjob, handjob... I fucked her like Donald T Trump right into da pussy she moaned and enjoyed it all. She legit loved kissing my big lips I could not believe it. Etc etc etc etc. Possible detail after detail after detail. I don't know maybe I am inhumane, yet my dick must have fitted her pussy quiet nicely I did not feel as much. The injury that now is not an injury anymore. Lost me some drive I feel. Anyway sexy girl lovely human. Odd. Odd... I thought multiple things, yet I am to complex of a human... Might have to ask stuff...

Briefly writting this, things I need for dating. LSD Wine Wild animals Inspiration to not be toxic, and see what works simply. If I ever get a beautiful women that had had less than 10 partners I'd be willing to marry etc. Right now I am just learning I took soy protein for the first time. Gratitude Journal: I am thankful for noticing upgrades and recognizing the importance of the value game and how to play it more sanely I am thankful for every non-toxic just wild hot women that enjoys sexuality and sensuality I am thankful for every non-bitter nany who does not wage a war against men and create a gender war opposites and equals I am thankful for every non-bitter man who does not wage a war against women and create a gender war opposites and equals I am thankful for every functional and fun adivce, even if it is slighty toxic turned into a flower, beautiful going back to beauty is absolutely beautiful

The is the most cringest shit to type, if you feel free to execute me I'll give you me address pm me.

Shadow work 3-2-1 process: What is happening we are taking a semi-golden shadow here again for the mixture of integration, this time this will also be more visionary I presume, so what is happening? 1. It feels like an intrinstic lust of joy overwhelming for my body to compute It feels like I am crowned by laurels and this energy does not pervade It feels like a never ending construction process of perfection that can only be created by pure intentions and desire it feels there is a healthy sexual desire beneath the simply and easily accessible dark desire for sex and more brutish type sex It feels like there is an animal in me that is wild rawr and does not care for reprecussions and is also infallible in it's abillity to be decieved, it's undeceivable (obsolete apparently) It feels like there is a wild strength in me that goes beyond just beign human it is as if there is a pure visceral intention that loves to channel lust into higher dimensions It feels like there is an abhorent drive for domination of others who act higher, yet are lesser and who put down your value it feels like I don't have the dignity of a man to take what it takes to be a man It feels like there is a subtle undercurrent of insecurity and weakness to manipulate the value of others to increase my own It feels like there is a strong desire to create an impact that is beyond what I currently get in women it feels like there is a disrespect from women in me, as to not live out my unshattering conviction that I am above them and you can't stop me from being above you if that is the case. There is a dark desire to simply dominate space be it professor/high value guy/high value women, there simply is a dark desire for going beyond what I am perceived it, like beign an ueber animal, top dawg It feels like there is a fear from acting out these desires because of inabillity to perceive social cues, which is not 100% true, and the subtle shaming of bitter single women who are not high value It feels like overall this is an internal self-worth value integration from inside out and outside in It overall feels like the beauty of having a vision is attacked my small minds who never even darred to dream big, hence no invites to stuff It feels like the micer, player mentallity of beign small and greedy is preventing me from beign a huge animal, instead of beign a dirty rat I am a small mouse who adheres to rules and guidelines It feels like there is a deep desire to pleasure women with my dick that I've been repressing like deep fking penetration to give her a big bang she'll not forget. It feels like there are animalistic drives for playing with the evolutionary side of humans instead of creating children there is a desire to toy and play with the energy and use it for other creationary purposes It feels like there is a deep desire for integration the disciplinary side of beign an animal, a professional animal and engineer as software engineer a god turned animal, and an animal turned god. It feels like there is a subtle enjoyment of overcoming with anger the power of anger channeld in a safe way it feels like there is a desie to be big simply be big it feels like there is fear in me to be a wild social animal that is playful and goes for what he wants as an emotional animal limbic brain and not a logical neocortex It feels like there is a double animal in me as I am black as I am the devil only deserving the hottest the best the great women and power and to undermine them to exercise control (yes this is shadow work) It feels like there is an animal within me that craves to be a lion on the pounce, a tiger on the move, a strong conviction that goes beyond perceived insecurities not only valor, courage and valiancy valiant There is a deep strong desire to show valiant external behaviour and be rewarded and pleased for it, like a king getting his cock liked (yes this will happen) an realsing the inner animal and swine that he is. It feels like I am a devil swine that will neutrally disseminate every piece and bits of pieces of status threat and gain status in a group 2. Alright this was a lot of observations I don't even know what is true about this anymore, as well as time is running in a sense for a project. I did not think I would notice so much karma/intentions. What is your gift what your you showing me? I am showing you the integrative side of beign an animal upsides and downside, obviously you idiot had to choose the most difficult path, yet at least you're trained and have experience, so you might travel lightly, notice how there is another deeper pattern of deterministic patterns that you did not touch. That is my first gift, you neglected this raw animal power, ambition desire, social domination, god like feeling call it what you want visceral touch for way way to long, you DID NOT EVEN BUILD ON IT; You have power and you take it away from you out of fear of compassion and looking evil? You see how careless these neutral fuck swines are, you can call them by type, by name mostly it's only the intutives that have a somewhat caring level of compassion and love to you, don't you notice? Well I think we're kind of going astray. No we're not you clearly lack the abillity to enjoy working through disciplinary events did the date yesterday not show you that? 0 reaction to lazyness and again the you're black so lazy projection, what did you think? Nothing as I expected it. I just channel the ambition. YES YES YES MY DEAR AND YES; YOUR AMBITION IS THE ANIMAL; YOU'RE AMBITION IS GOD; DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT AMBITION IS? DO YOU TELL ME? Ehhh.... can't you chill for a bit and be more reasonable and logical? This is not really making much progress I asked you what gifts you are showing me and? STOP WITH THE RESISTANCE LOOK! LOOK LIKE IT'S THE MIRROR OR A MOVIE; DOES AN ANIMAL JUST LOVE? Yes. Does an animal just eat and play joyfully with it's cubs? Yes. Does an animal teach you survival and how to be strong? Yes. I mean they all do that, yet why do we humans draw so much inspiration from it. Boy let's not kid ourselves we're far beyond beign an autonemous A.I we're raw creatures emergining from biological dust, we are not mechnical creatures that compute at the speed of light and can freely orbit is space and send information. Bro you're not a satelite you're some dumb animal like 99.9% of humans, sorry 100% of all humans. WE ARE DUMB ANIMALS AFTER ME! WE'RE DUMB ANIMALS! ALRIGHT! What do dumb animals do? DO DUMB SHIT EXACTLY YES! WE'RE DRINKING FUCKING PILLAGAING... eh... doc we're slightly getting of track here and a bit to much into barbarian mode we're not romans pillaging and raping women and villages, as well as entire planets/socities and countries. I am still prefer wisdom in a sense you know. What is the gift of a wise animal? Wise question - the wise animal is self-controlled neither beyond, and neither beneath human/animal desire, it embraces all it's needs and relents it when there is time for it. Then why for gods sake did these small kids trigger me? Because they thought you think of yourselve as a god, while they perceive you as an animal. What is the paradox here? The animal creates the god? YES embrace the animal, we're a zebra, a chocolate bear, a tiny little brown snake, a ginmorus huge python, an elequently long blond beaver we are animals! Yes we are animals! Bro I still have no idea where we are going with it, but I like it severly. Animals eat with pleasure! 3 I am the one who is not using the animal to call towards god! I am the one who is regressing his potential by not acting out more animalistic drives and beign thankful for them I am the one who is afraid of beign an animal out of social reprecussions and shaming subtely I am the one who acccepts that he is a big bear, a giant beautiful zebra, a strong gorilla? A powerful horse. A deadly chamelon. I am the one who accepts the humerouns and playfulness that animals inherently have, they eat your food play with your friends and charm them away, I am an animal that you love and hate at the sametime I am the one who is a dumb animal huh? I am the one who a socially uncalibrated animal that yearns to be a socially calibrated one I am the one who neglects and neglected the value of beign an animal letting go letting desire run widlly and freely I am the one who yearns to channel the wisdom of a wise animal to be self-controlled and wild and free at the same time, that makes you a human god I am the one who yearn to tap into the animalistic deep sphere of growing into and beyond flesh I am the one who yearns to love like an animal zügelose frei stark, percise like a hawk I am the one who wants to pounce onto every possibly mating opportunity like a lion creating plethora of opportunites as well as co-creating This is it I do have to be careful what I am still doing. This shadow work stuff certainly has effects, especially that I am doing now a double visually oriented process in a sense, as I am not working with the body. It's again top-down.

This is mostly it I did it. Feedback in terms of visualization: Be as specific as possible with mantra/visualization main focus is archetype/ideal What did I do well? Focus on the feeling and "visceralization of the archetype" Exact solution visualization for mathematical problems for example and the correction of mistakes Latent awareness of physical ideals and goals and visions I wrote down Strong desire to act Overcoming of fear visualizations This is mostly it I know have not many more excuses for not doing what I love. Will do shadow work session now after this eat one of these new mixes for muscle growth and say, HELLOOOOO HEALTH! Even when I am not fully there. Let's do the golden shadowish integration of shadow today.

I wish I could have caused that huge interconnection I was dreaming of. I don't know how close I'll ever get to it.

The game stuff really helps with the performance of orange point stuff, as most just celebrate the status success drive of orange from integral. Most academics will somewhat know what I mean, I do have to embrace this more..... Also putting performance and excellence into Freedom&Autonomey. Value my time and others time more like I did in China, and present some exellent mvp's for example with 10-20h extra work stuff and an attitude likes this, and not women who take a player down and want to tame him for her needs, this will breed bitterness today is animal integration day, especially german animal. Devil swines.