DavidK

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About DavidK

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  1. @SoonHei this issue of 'what happens why I sleep' has had me puzzled for ages! And I found your frame by frame explanation amazing! This really helps, thanks!
  2. @fabriciom thanks, basically I've just moved back after a year of living away, and things are very dramatic back here because me and my brother are now no longer afraid to say exactly how we feel haha. I have now planned to move to my gf's patents then get our own place. Luckily I've been saving up for this very event, and she's 250 miles away which is a long way in England 😂😂
  3. @non_nothing I like that answer, thanks.
  4. @Martin123 honestly means a great deal to hear this, thank you!
  5. @Shadowraix exactly, pretty much where I am with it.
  6. Hopefully I put this in the right place haha So I finally decided I might as well see what people have to say about this issue which is now becoming more prominent. With regards to toxic parents, I regularly think about cutting my mum out of my life. The upbringing provided by my mum has been far from perfect and I have an adverse childhood experience test score of 8/10. As a whole I feel she was never there for me as a child and felt her unstable emotions were the most important thing in the house. She has all the major signs of having borderline personality disorder with a long history of heavy drinking. She got married to my stepdad (who eventually died of alcoholism) when I was 12 and he was emotionally abusive and occasionally physically abusive. Every attempt I made to tell her how unhappy I was with how things were at home were met with my mums attitude of "I'm the victim in all this, think how hard this is for me being in the middle of you two fighting like this". At one point my stepdad set up a separate fridge for himself and my mum which I was not allowed to use, and the shared fridge had close to nothing in, so I got by selling cogitates at college (UK) to buy my lunch. One time my stepdad stored some left over take away himself and my mum had had in the fridge and as me and my brother took some (there been very little else to eat) he became physical and grabbed my brother and in fear for my brother I started punching my stepdad then called the police. We have still received zero acknowledgement or apology for any of our upbringing and to this day she parades herself as an excellent mother who's "done nothing but sacrificed" for us. These are more the highlights and don't really want to get into more detail. But more recently is clearly making an effort (in purely material ways) such as taking me out for meals, picking me up from the train station occasionally, and has always gone to hospital with me for a heart condition I was born with. And so the question essentially is; Should I cut her out my life and if so what role does forgiveness play? P.s. I kinda know what I'm going to do was more just interested what other people thought. I also get that forgiveness does not mean I need to have my mum in my life but can in fact do both.
  7. Leo's book list includes a video on exactly this. I took his tips on board and modified my reading habbit to include these.
  8. Great video which I will use to deal with my brother in a more effective way (He displays all the classic behaviours of narcissism/ego centrism resulting from a far from ideal upbringing). I feel I'm actually a little addicted to watching videos about narcissism and other personality disorders haha.
  9. I do see what you're say but I'm sure I won't be alone in saying that pretty much every person I've talked to who are big on conspiracy theories are by far the most closed minded. I'm quite happy listening to people talk me through their conspiracys, but naturally I usually bump into a basic question I would ask them (with no intention tripping them up, I'd just be genuinely curious how the theory accommodates my question). I'm greated pretty much every time with an attitude of "nope, it can only be this way". "Jet fuel doesn't burn hot enough to melt structural steel therefore conspiracy!!" Interesting, but can I just point out that steel doesn't need to reach melting point to cause structural instability and buckling. "You're just closed minded!!!" Oh...okay...
  10. Some how bumped into this guy called Robert Nejamy whos videos saw me through some difficult times years ago. Can't be entirely sure how turquoise he is but would like to share him with you all.
  11. Very similar to my experience. Started weed at a low point in my life, and to be "sensible" I did a bit of research into it, particularly on how addictive it is. I read countless testements of how non addictive it is, including from close friends who smoked. I was sceptical but not really in a place to care. Weed played a very positive part in my life overall but I now definitely under no illusions about weed not been addictive. Everyone I know who smokes does it close to everyday and spends a significant amount of money on it. I managed to stay as just a social smoker, never actually buying it myself but regularly find myself smoking more than I would like. It's like I'm surrounded by people who want to get me high haha😂, and I'm currently too weak not to join in haha.
  12. @Onecirrus yes exactly, this whole bickering about who's most privileged is silly, the suffering of the human condition does not discriminate. I guess its the extremes of green which doesn't have to be embodied to pass through green.
  13. @White This makes sense! I guess it accounts for the ugly spouts of hyper moralising too. So I'm safe to proceed becoming more green knowing I don't have to become a professional victim or scream at people for not being as "caring" as I am haha.
  14. I consider myself largely green with a good leg still in orange. But I have a couple of issues with some of the more outspoken part of green, which I can't help but see as less developed. Mainly, those who take on feminism to become a professional victim and have very toxic views on men. I accept the point that as a white male, there are discriminatory factors I can not fully appreciate, but surely these stances are missing the point of green and belong in a lower level?