Antonius

@Aaron p I think people scream on 5-meo mostly when they smoke it because it knocks them out and they're not really aware of their surroundings. I also took 450ug when my parents were sleeping and they had no clue. I can tell you it's a lot easier to stay low-key on 5-meo than on high dose acid trip.

That's straight up wrong. Do you stop being yourself when you think? Test this in your experience right now. When you think a thought, do you suddenly vanish out of existence? No. You and thoughts can exist simultaneously, but identifying with them creates trouble. You are eternal, your thoughts are impermanent, hence when you identify with them you constantly fear being annihilated. When you realize what you truly are, you will literally feel immortal. You are always you. You always were you. The problem is you don't know what the fuck are you. Make finding out what are you your first priority.

Shikantaza

You could say that being aware of being aware is the end and then that's where I am. But you can definitely get so absorbed in the end that you forget that you ever had a body and get chewed up by insects in a cave. Also I routinely get floored by psychedelics but that's a few hours tops fortunately

The moment I stopped using the mind to find it, I just became it. I was always it, but the mind distracted me with it's endless flow of thoughts and feelings that over time painted a vivid picture of a seperate person. Old memories are coming up of being that changeless self. It's so familiar and ordinary. The simplicity can trick you into thinking it's not it, but it is. You just need to be patient and it starts revealing it's peaceful qualities to you. The ego construct is still hardwired into the body-mind though and if I stop just being it forces it's way back to the forefront of experience. Leo's last self-inquiry video really hit the nail on the head here. You just need to spend time with the nothingness that you are and the construct will slowly dissolve. I wouldn't be surprised if I just woke up one day realizing I was enlightened for days without noticing because I always am that, I'm just obscured by endless thoughts. It's the self-reflective nature of thoughts that make it seem like someone is there. It's like looking in the mirror and saying "I see myself in the mirror so that must be myself". But seeing your body in the mirror is no different than seeing a dog. You're not a dog because you see a dog. You are the seeER without an instrument through which you see. Thoughts manage to identify with thoughts because thoughts can think about thoughts. Advaita teachings ring very true now. After becoming awareness itself I "remembered" that I was always it. Try looking at a childhood memory that feels peaceful. That peace that feels like it's in the background is you, but you ignored it because there were more important things you had to think about and so you went on and forgot who you are completely over time. But I never actually stopped pursuing until my mind went suddenly silent on it's own. Psychedelics helped here because they can really stomp your ego so hard it gets tired of thinking about itself. My best advice for people would be to just spend time in no-mind. The nothingness will reveal itself to you without effort of mind. It will seem insignificant at first, but as you stay with it and don't try to grasp it with your mind it will flourish.

Agree 100% You can't grasp the I AM with the mind. There is no other way to communicate it than through the dream though, so nothing we say can possibly be the truth, it can point towards it (like your quote) . Who cares if it's all masturbation we're all trying to express some cool shit we experience and maybe we point someone in the right direction in the process and he gets frigging enlightened in the end boom we're all happy.

Check out Neville Goddard, an American mystic. He taught non-duality and manifestation through interpreting bible. He interpreted the bible as a psychological drama and basically said that your I AM is God, your imagination is Jesus Christ, you created the whole reality with your imagination... stuff like that, he was a pretty radical dude for his time and place.

@Leo Gura I definitely got interested in yoga when I experienced spontaneous kriyas on 5-MeO, that was fucking insane. I should probably replace my morning meditation with yoga practice. @Joseph Maynor Sounds about right

@Psychonaut Not at this moment, all sorts of "stuff" is bubbling up in the body. But I feel good about not having to search frantically for "something" anymore, I know where to look for now and I have a deep sense of everything's gonna be alright.

Yes, it can only... be

@Sahil Pandit Mind boggling to the MIND yes lol. It's actually the most familiar thing there is, so familiar that everyone overlooks it. @ground The ultimate is so ultimate it's both same and different at the same time. I don't see a reason to jump straight to the end nor would I want to because I would probably fall on my back and not get up for months.

@ground Ultimately they are not different, but the problem is we as people ignore the emptiness and focus only on form. We have to remember that we are also emptiness by focusing exclusively on that and then we can return back into complete non-duality.

@SoonHei I understand what you mean, but even though you can just BE at any moment the body-mind still has the structure of being separate wired deeply. It's not an on-off switch. We spent most of our lives being programmed into being separate and now although we can step into being emptiness whenever we decide to our body-mind has to sort of catch up with the truth. Body is a very important instrument in meditation because you can literally feel the structure of identity. Of course we step down into thought that created the false identity in the first place when we try to talk about this, but I just wanted to share this and I feel myself not BEing when I do this. You have to mature into being able to stay detached and do whatever the hell you want.

@ground You are right, awareness has no objective qualities. You can't find it with your senses. You can only become aware that you are aware. Saying I found it sounds like it was lost like an object, like I lost my keys and I fond them on the floor. It's hard to name the event because nothing really happened. I was nothing before, but the nothing wrapped itself in thoughts and couldn't see itself outside of them properly. When the thoughts stopped I saw myself as I am and then I remembered I always was. Saying that nothingness is somethingness is also not wrong though since nothing ultimately takes the form of absolutely everything, but I haven't had the direct experience of that yet. I'm currently at the stage of disentangling emptiness and form.

@Roman Edouard I don't know about the universe as an object. It probably can be some limited bubble in a sea of other bubbles, but reality as a whole can't possibly be limited because there would have to be a boundary. But then what is beyond that boundary? Non-existence? Try imagining non-existence. You can't.

I don't think I can measure such accurate doses, but I could try to go for 5mg increments instead, so 10, 15, 20... That would still be ballpark doses. Thank you for your answers and it's very interesting how you describe it. From other psychedelics I always get insights into self-image and it's easier to change it after trips because I'm more aware how my conception of myself creates my circumstances. It sounds like 5-MeO is just a radical increase in consciousness that isn't at all focused on the "self".

So my first ever batch of 5-MeO arrived today, 200mg of HCl. I have experience with LSD (50ug-450ug) and 2C-B(20mg-40mg). High dose trips always get hairy at some point, but I never freaked out, even tripping alone on 300ug in the woods. I forgot who I was, what's my name and how I look like a few times, even started thinking in thick Chinese accent on a high dose 2C-B trip. But none of this comes close to dying and I was never scared during my mindfucks. I would say I even saw God, but my ego never completely dissolved and I didn't become IT. Anyway, if someone can tell me how does a high dose acid trip compare to 5-meo in terms of intensity I'd like to know. I plan on introducing myself with 10mg insufflated, then 20mg, then 30mg. Then when I find by breakthrough dose I'll do it once a month or something. I'm actually scared to do it rectally because the syringes I can get at my local pharmacy are too thick lol. As long as my nose doesn't burn like on 2C-B I'm good because that shit felt like breathing inside a volcano. I would do the trips lying down on a queen sized bed that I don't usually sleep on. Also I would eat a banana or something before a trip so in case of a purge I don't just spit acid. Sounds good? Some general questions I have: Day trip or night trip? (I usually like night trips better because it's more silent) Music or no music? How does 5-MeO treat shy people? Does it change you as a person? Will my 2C-B and LSD trips be more intense after 5-MeO? I use binaural beats regularly, will the effects be more intense after 5-MeO? How does it affect concentration and meditation practices? How does it affect creativity (imagination) and visualization practices?

Very true. Many of us have all the information we will ever need to live a good life, and yet we keep looking for the "holy grail" that will finally save us. I mean just reading the 5 star books on your list is enough to improve every aspect of someones life by 1000%. A lot of stuff in personal development is common knowledge to me already, but my life doesn't reflect that. It's like I'm reading comic books and then daydreaming about being a superhero, I'm treating the information like food for thought. Like I'm subconsciously saying "Wow, look at all the possibilities, look at how awesome life could be... oh well back to my shitty old life" and then I go on browsing reddit. I think this stuff comes down to self-image, I have to see myself applying the stuff I read about. You have an old video about self-image called "Absolute key to all personal development" I think is called. I don't know why you don't talk more about that stuff because it's true and newbies can read all the books they want, but if they start out with a poor self-image absolutely nothing will change. It's really hard work too, visualizing properly is challenging. If you don't feel yourself already being that which you want, you're just fantasizing.

Must-listen albums. They were MADE for tripping. You will understand what flow means when you listen to these two on acid. Ambient / New Age / Classical (Tribal sounds, for going full shaman) (Really gets me into a "Heros journey" mood lol) (From "Mystic chords & Sacred spaces" album, it's like 5 hours of being in heaven, literally sounds like an infinite void.) Techno: Boston 168 (raw analog stuff) Feral (Hypnus) Anything from Hypnus records really (Ambient techno) Podcasts:

I'm scared to death of showing anyone that I like them and it's destroying me. There is this cute girl at my new job and basically I'm 99% sure she likes me (probably not anymore since she saw how autistic I am). Another co-worker (guy) even tried to hook us up, but I pussied out of a done deal. I'm very inexperienced with girls and I just don't know how to talk to them. This girl likes me and I literally have no idea what the fuck to do. I'm just watching her pass by every day and I act disinterested. I don't even feel anxious, I just feel like there is now way I can get a cute girlfriend. Like it's too good to be true, there must be a catch. So basically I don't do anything because I'm sure I will fuck it up. I feel like I don't deserve to be liked by a girl like that. I still want to do something about her because I have a chance to have a cute girlfriend and get some experience. I'm just tired of the feeling of regret every time I don't talk to a girl, yet that feeling of regret is too weak to get me moving. I'M FUCKING HOPELESS AND I NEED HELP

@DrMobius @Leo Gura I know microdosing is not very useful for consciousness, I just want to see if it can help me to stop taking myself so seriously.

My goal is to have a mystical experience and/or glimpse the Truth, but I also crave for some REAL personal growth. I have been meditating for about 2 years now and I didn't experience very much growth so far, although I'm far better off than when I was playing video games all day. I have a much more clear conceptual understanding of enlightenment then when I first found out about it. I read about 20-30 books and I have a solid understanding of what's going on (in life in general, not just non-duality), I'm just extremely bad at embodying that knowledge. My biggest issues are my anxiety, (maybe) depression, being too serious and analytical, socially retarded (from all the video games), suppressed sexuality (nice guy) and so on. I actually did a 100ug LSD trip once, but it was a pretty shit set and setting. I didn't have a bad trip, but I didn't get much out of it. It was just a mindfuck. I also microdosed it about 10 times and I felt the growth potential. Basically I'm asking this because I'm afraid LSD won't help me as much as it could because I'm so prone to anxiety and LSD is so "speedy". Maybe if I take large enough dose and it forces me to push through that fear? I'm also afraid that 4-AcO-DMT is a weaker psychedelic and I won't get a chance of glimpsing the Truth. Psilocin sounds much more relaxed though and I think it would help me better with the "stuff". So if anyone has experience with both of these substances, what do you think is the better option for me? Also I'm willing to consider 5-MeO-DMT but since it's harder to get and expensive I would get a much lower number of trips out of it. How much growth potential is in becoming GOD 2-3 times? I'm just curious about the Truth, but I still have too much shit to handle to pursue it hardcore. EDIT: And which one is better at softening the heckin' ego? I want something to pummel that motherfucker and make me not recognize myself when I look back over time.

I decided to go with LSD 25x 100-125ug tabs. It's the most well researched one and I can't go wrong with it. Even if I don't glimpse the ultimate I will probably get a lot out of ~15-20 trips (I plan to microdose a lot and try a bigger dose once or twice). My next question is how often should I trip? And how do I incorporate microdosing with regular tripping? I also work 6 days a week so my only chance to trip will be when I work in the morning and am free the next day. Also the long trip duration is not ideal since I don't live alone and I can only have solo trips in the forest which is right next to my house. There are not a lot of animals in the woods, I'm more concerned of random people taking a walk.

@Viking Search "Thresholds" on the first page