Amadeusz

What do you think guys? The New Black Eyed Peas looks like a green to me.

Day 22. Balls getting blue. Ego attacks with thoughts of relapsing. Feeling more confident, discipline's stronger.

I have the same. Maybe we have to be dirty for some time and then settle with one girl... Maybe you need to sleep with many girls first to build masculinity

Just a thought - I may be wrong but; I've been following this forum and I noticed that many of you guys have no results. I mean, I'm also struggling with this and have only moderate results. . For example in 'Show us your art' topic the art is often beautiful but then I look on your subscriber count and see like 1-50 subscribers. I haven't met single person with more subscribers. Like; I'm still an intermediate results maker, I have music youtube channel with 46 subsribers, 13k total views and second channel 4,5k subscribers, but in niche that I don't care at all). I know that youtube isn't everything. I've earned like 4000 PLN ~ 1200 USD from music in 2018. I still earn a living from tutoring chemistry which I don't want to do. I feel like many of us (including me) are too little pragmatic and we follow our passions, but our marketing suck. It's due to Leo's rants against materialism and now we are spiritual and all, but we suck at business. And we often indulge here on forum to procrastrinate even more too. But maybe I'm wrong? Show me your results!

Totally agree. I may be wrong, but feel like this forum has a lot of theoriticians who need a lot more action. I'm such an example.

It helped to find mine, I'm pretty sure that I've found it. But I question if designing your life in such an artificial way like this course works. For example since doing this course 3 years passed. I have progress but I'm still blocked by so many things. Sometimes I wonder if this whole shit works. Sometimes I feel like I'm manipulating reality so much that I should stop it and relax. Does anyone from here did it and then made it money doing his/her LP? Have you made a fulfiling carrer thanks to this course? Is 80% of your income from your LP? I'll answer first: Yes it helped me to solidify my sense of direction, I have a Life Purpose. I'm pretty sure it's the one I want. I earn only about 10-20% money from my LP (music). It's really hard

So basically I feel like I'm somewhere between Orange and Green stage in Spiral Dynamics. I feel like I still need to be more strategic, results oriented, hard nosed, because I still have a lot to do in developing my business. So I need to develop my Orange. Also I need to develop my blue order and discipline. But maybe that's the trap of Orange thinking? This success spiral? Maybe moving more to green will free me? I feel like my love is developing, but it's still very blocked. How to know which step is right? What do you think?

Hit coral man are you sure? ;d I think like I'm kinda orange-green-yellow guy. I have let's say 20% yellow in me (but maybe it's my ego and Im stuck in orange cuz I've never been communal my ego's strong). Isn't this like you unlock stages but it's not like you are orange. For example if you say orange it means that your highest stage is orange, right? You still have to work and develop lower stages usually.

So my friend probably does manipulative shit. He doesn't see he exploits me and he doesn't see that he takes more than he gives. But maybe I'm the devil as Leo said and me judging him is only a distraction? I see that he's kinda my reflection. Whenever I do something bad he does. I manipulate - he does. In my mind of course he's always worse. But maybe he is? He rarely apologizes and he's always been my follower - I dropped from university - then he did, I and I meditate more and do more insight work so I am more aware of my inner demons so I'm a little better (I know I'm still egoistic and I work on it). Jeez how to navigate this shit. Help... I know I know I should contemplate a lot, do meditation and stuff. But maybe some advice will also help? I did this manipulative shit in the past on him so maybe it's karma? And all I have to do is create good karma? And I should clean myself and he will also clean? But what if he doesn't? I know I know, that's the bulk of the work. But maybe some advice? I have few action steps: be independent from him try to act fair in our relationship meditate, contemplate on this topic meet new people and see if the problem lies in him or in me (if the problem would repeat with other people then it's me) embrace confusion change myself so he changes (nondual approach) setting the boundaries. Don't flatter but don't attack. Stay calm during storms and negotiate. Try to point issues indirectly and say about my flaws first. If the anger is too strong try to communicate the issue instead holding it without talking. Of course in 90% he will dismiss my problems. (But so did I when he came with a problem to me). Thanks for reading. Guuuys help, maybe some encouragement to tackle this problem? Thanks

I'm mixing my old dual perspective with this non dual - that's why I used these words... I still largely believe in duality. But sometimes this non dual state appears and it kills my anger. I just cant be angry with my friend anymore then ;o

So I've been meditating for 3-4 years now. Now I meditate about 1h daily. I got some results, my happiness is moderately better. I took AL-LAD back in december and it was shortly after Vipassana retreat. I had non dual experience then, I realized that I am my friend, I realized that I am everything and stuff. And now I've been taking psychodelics every 1 month. I have non dual insights here and there, so I realize that I am my father, I am my friend I am my mom and I see that we are all connected. It's huge, because since they are me I can't be angry with them. So given I am them I am 100% responsible for our relationships right? It's interesting. Or maybe they are also responsible? So if I have an argument with my friend it's not his fault but mine? So to change him I have to change myself? What do you think guys? Sorry for not being super clear I just want to start a discussion about this.

That's my version of this song that promotes meditation and spirituality. I changed the lyrics a little.

What about Trump being blend of red and orange? He's not that bad to be red all the way imho. He's big chunk is orange. I'd say that Trump is lets say 75% orange and 25% red.

I've got a friend that suits my life well. It means that his life is very similar, he's got the same life purpose and similar, yet lower in my opinion consciousness level. That being said I have mixed feelings about our relationship. My family members have been giving me hints that he is a fake friend. You see our relationship began when I was a more succesful, more robust person. Now after all these years he asimilated my traits. There was always a jelousy problem. I feel like he doesn't support me emotionally. He is like a crab who doesn't want me to improve, he wants me to stay on the same level because he is scared. At the same time maybe it's karma, because I also feel insecure when he succeeds, I think that I'm then afraid that he will dominate in our relationship me using his success. Do you have any suggestions ideas how to handle this? My strategy for now is to maintain this relationship but at the same time meet other people, gather data and hope that this confusion will resolve soon. But maybe I need to change myself? If we are all one then the problem is in me not in him? I saw on Al-LAD that I am him.

My Life Purpose is singing and playing piano, I'm a living example that you can do both! Start with 10 mins daily vocal practice. Find diffrent ways you can hone your craft. Go to karaoke's, sing at home, sing with a friend, whatever - become creative. You don't have to grind all the time. 10 mins daily of deliberate practice are good for start!

There's inner conflict. Maybe try to resolve him, for example move to another city, but still keep coming once in a while back home?

I don't know, you can only know this. You won't get answer fast. I would stay for at least 1 month. Better embrace the confusion! I have the same with my college. I just don't know if I want to go there, but I plan to go anyway and see what happens.

Do both. I had the same, wasn't sure, and my 'bliss' came to me. This bliss was music! And then I knew. So the answer appeared right when I stopped pushing for it. Also what about 100milion dollar question? Ask it yourself!

When talking about Spiral Dynamics, there is this 'transition dilemma' between orange and green. It says that I should share more with others, stop my pursue of success and so on, generally become more caring. And part of me feels a big relief, when hearing this, because this whole success is very challenging. But maybe this is my sneaky EGO wanting to become low consciousness? Because you see my Life Purpose grows me I think. It requires to face my fears and stuff... So my ego likes this idea, because then it could become lazy again. But maybe that's why I stay in the orange, because I can't let it go? What do you think?

music, but now I feel that I want to master singing in particular. It's cool because I feel it very deeply.

Yeah I get it. There were many times when I let go and embraced my laziness. Then I started playing computer games, fapping every day to porn, stopped almost every good habit I had. Ok there was more passion, and my authentic motivation kicked in but the amound of healthy motivation was too little... The streak in that paradigm lasted 3 months, then I moved to my whipping paradigm again. Maybe I need to smoothly transition? Maybe I'm not ready for stage green. So you know, surrender to this success motivation, but at the same time give myself more and more freedom and free time? Sorry if I made it dificult to understand.

So I know that there's this video about getting rid of toxic people. But sometimes it's really hard to find out who's my friend and who's not. Moreover sometimes the problem isn't the friend but the ego trying to defend itself. There is a lot of 'grey area' here. Some deep insights would be very helpful to a lot of people. So many people stuck in toxic relationships because they 'should'.

@Shin Sure, but results are so light that sometimes it's hard to know if there are any. But I believe that my meditation gave me much. At least I hope so.

I meditate 90min of Vipassana daily although I feel that I will explore other techniques soon. I have decent results although feel like results could be better. I suck at mindfulness during the day.