benny

@Nahm If I learn that great conversationalists generally allow the other person to do 70-80% of the talking by encouraging the other person to talk about themselves, I can go and tests that out to see how it impacts my relationships and day-to-day interactions. If I learn that setting definite dates with women (definite day, time place) will decrease flakes and lead to more dates, I can go and set definite dates with women to see how it impacts my dating life. If I learn that regular exercise and a healthy diet will improve my self-esteem and give me more energy, I can eat healthy and exercise and observe the results. Why do I need to contemplate these things?

@Origins You're assuming I'm struggling with my inferences. What makes you think that? Also, parts your posts are so verbose and vague that it's hard for me to determine what you're trying to say. As far as the infant is concerned, you make a valid point. There probably isn't any form of reasoning in my example. Perhaps it is just instinct. But if it was instinct that produced a successful outcome, then of what use was contemplating the implications of walking off the edge of the cliff?

@Leo Gura I call BS on that. Even an infant knows not to walk off the edge of steep cliff.

@At awe My benchmark is that if I'm moving closer to producing desired results, I'm on the right track.

@Leo Gura I see your point, but that also highlights my own. I don't need to sit down and consciously reflect on whether or not I should eat dog shit. That's self-evident. I can see the merit of contemplating theory when the answers aren't immediately obvious, and sometimes I do this. But I find that I'm able to spend most of my time studying theory and implementing things without spending too much time in deep reflection. Perhaps that's limiting my results, I don't know.

@Hello from Russia What would you say spurs you to contemplate something you read? I find my mind will automatically begin to tie what I read to previous knowledge I have, and if I detect BS, my mind will automatically send up warning signals. I'm having difficulty finding the merit in reading for a while and then just contemplating for the sake of contemplating.

Attraction, dating, relationships, communication, sexuality, female psychology. I want quality, and I want consciousness.

Putting the cart before the horse there.

I've been looking for literature that suggests affirming and visualizing can alter the self-image and, by extension, change our behavior. I haven't come across anything though. Most of the research I've found has to do with buffering one's negative reactions to threat. Any leads are appreciated.

@Leo Gura How much of your understanding of all the concepts/insights/teachings/lessons is deep and integrated vs. conceptual/logical/surface level? Genuinely curious, because I gather it takes a substantial amount of time and effort to deeply grasp any single teaching or insight, and you throw a lot of them out there.

Thanks Leo, this really helps. So if I were to read a book on relationships, and it was full of high-quality theory, you're telling me it wouldn't be enough to just go and put what I learn into practice? If I were to put it into practice and confirm it in direct experience, without contemplating it, would it still be a belief? If field-testing is an extension of contemplation, I can't see that being the case, but curious to get your thoughts. On that note, what is it exactly about holding mere beliefs that's so bad? Not doubting this, just curious. And by the way, before I posed the question, I contemplated this and arrived at my own answers I'm also curious to hear what you have to say. It sounds like you're saying that contemplation helps to separate the gold from the BS, in addition to deriving new learnings and insights. If we just take what we read on blind faith, without thinking it through and/or testing it in direct experience, our model of reality is unsubstantiated. This alone is bad enough, and it gets even worse when our model is predicated on unsubstantiated BS. Other than that, if anything, why does implementation without contemplation reduce the quality of my results? Again, I have my own answers, but I want to hear yours too. Thank you, senpai.

An example of when contemplation is warranted? That will depend on personal judgment and priorities, but one such example would be contemplating how the mechanism that brings us from our higher selves to our lower selves is feeling threatened. That's a deep insight worth contemplating. Same with being picky about embodiment vs. logical understanding. That will depend on your priorities.

@Leo Gura Thanks boss.

@Forestluv

Still being ignored.

@Leo Gura Leo, answering everyone's questions but mine? Where's the love, bro?

I ask, in part, because of how much you stress contemplation. You go as far as to say that certain ideas must be contemplated for a decade or more. Given the sheer magnitude of work it takes to develop big-picture understanding just from studying the theory, never mind embodying it, I don't see how it would be feasible to contemplate all the theory I study. Sometimes, it seems, certain ideas can be confirmed or disconfirmed simply by field-testing them. For example, pickup/dating/communication theory. I don't need to independently derive the conclusions or contemplate them to put them into practice and see they work. I'm getting the impression that it's up to me to use my judgment to determine when contemplation is warranted. It also sounds like (and is readily apparent) that I will have to be picky about what I choose to embody vs simply understand at the conceptual/intellectual level. Thoughts?

@PurpleTree Ah, gotcha! It all makes sense now! Better go blaze that kush and ascend to higher levels of awakening!

Topic.

What are your thoughts? I'm considering it to help me build my coaching business.

I'm looking to build my coaching business and I need guidance on marketing/ads/niche/etc. I'm looking to hire an excellent consultant or purchase a really high-quality course to illuminate the way. I'm also open to resources other than courses and consultants. What are your suggestions?

@aurum Cool man, thanks!

There's no real point to the topic. I wanted to share that I'm becoming increasingly conscious of life's beauty. Getting to experience trees and music and food and companionship and all the other wonderful things life has to offer produces a sense of beauty and gratitude that I can't really express in words. Nevertheless, I felt compelled to share it. That is all.

I'm reading a book called shadow dance right now. The author, David Richo, mentions the ego's inherent need to divide and conquer. Here's the excerpt: "Christ's command to love our enemies seeks to override our ego's program. He recommends that we combine the opposites. We do not make foes into friends and then love them but love them as enemies, combining love and antagonism. This is too hard a task for the human ego with its unalterable will to divide and conquer." So what's being said here?

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