puporing

Best of luck! See you later.

you might have a narcissistic parent.. they have this repressed pain body that they're trying to pass on to you unconsciously (so they don't have to look at it because it might be too painful) through all this guilting and blaming that was never yours. the short answer is to create some boundaries (harder to do if living together, but you could try to do it mentally first by seeing that the projections speaks more about her past than you) and suggest her to seek counselling or healers at some point.. you can also learn some great tools from folks like Matt Kahn who teaches about how to mindfully engage with this kind of mind but that's a bit more advanced/requires a high state of consciousness from you, and I'd still recommend a combination of boundaries and these other things.

@Moksha thank you for replying, those are very helpful and I would agree. (except that animals are a lot simpler for the most part compared to humans and I'd prob be more likely to teach it to them if they could learn it lmao, in your metaphor : D)

this is a bit of an aside but sort of related to the topic of teaching: you can call me elitist but I don't think "awakening" at the highest levels should be taught to just anyone. people with deep wounds and narcissistic egos can really misuse this stuff, that stuff needs to be dealt with first. if I were ever to teach any of this it would only be to people who show signs of high integrity, maturity, willingness to heal their traumas or narcissism. I already somewhat regret mentioning the word "awakening" to my narcissistic control freak parents just to get them off my backs, it already feels like they can misuse this stuff based on what one of them been saying to me, and further guilt trip me about things or disrespect my boundaries. people can use and "understand"/come up with ideas about the word "awakening" from all kinds of places, but totally miss "true Love" nor care about transformation/development (as very few teachers teach this). I honestly don't fking understand why I chose this character some days it's like a ball and chain around my neck, maybe so I really have nothing to look back on and get the heck out of here once this life is over. not as bad of a situation as @Holykael but prob very similar. please ignore what I said if this is triggering. I am just frustrated and appreciate you holding space for me.

it's hard to express the divine feminine and divine masculine both here. I pretty much suppress myself in both polarities and go with the neutral to make my points. why is that? because people get triggered it seems. why is that? lack of integration of the divine feminine and masculine within oneself. when you find and integrate both within you it's the most beautiful glorious thing ever .. please try to see the above as my gift to you, one day you'll understand.

I am blessed by yours also. your value is inestimable.

you can be as awake as can be and remain here, perhaps out of Love.

@Yimpa thank you! it's hard sometimes I appreciate your presence as well.

this is the kind of path I took/am taking, however it is harder to do if you have survival stuff to contend with so I have compassion for this. and teaching in a selfless manner is yet another level of Love I am still working toward.

though I disagree about the suffering.. it's less for sure when I'm alone and with others "alike", but more if I allow myself to get dragged into things.

lol yep. I did a coding bootcamp awhile back and this turned me away from the industry altogether. it can be sorta fun just doing it for its own sake but any "organizations" around it tends to ruin that due to survival. but I get that it can still be a good survival option for some. I think ideally it's best if you have something to work on for yourself (or a very small dedicated team) that you can also make money from.

@DrugsBunny in every situation you can choose what you see. you could also choose to see the editing of the comment as an act of love. there's always a choice in that. and what is not love is a call for love behind the message. I am not much interested in the game of division as all of what you guys say to each other register in "my consciousness" also and it's like attacking yourself. and even if you're not super conscious of that it is still the case that it is affecting your consciousness. ofc I don't control what you/anyone say, but I can at least try to make peace, consciousness compels me to. you are free to make boundaries from here if it's better for your growth and I frequently do.

@DrugsBunny I just don't think it's wise to talk about such a personal matter with people who may not have much of direct experience with the topic. like I would just recommend talking to a few gender therapists and trans/two-spirited folks if one is looking for space-holders to process things or additional research. if one hasn't experienced much gender dysphoria in their life how they have this discussion (like asking questions) is going to be very different from those who have. my position is more of that you do not need to physically transition to express the gender you want to express, it can be done with more confidence and relating with people on similar pages. and imo from a place of love this approach gives you the most freedom, wholeness, and self-love. because at some point, you might realize very strongly that you contain both the masculine and feminine and neither bodily fixation alone properly expresses the two. that's not to say that you won't still land in a strong preference for living with one over another outward expression after careful considerations (and possibly also related to one's "career" choice besides social aspects), so if one feels that physical transition is the only way to I understand it. and I just don't think it's going to lead to more compassion for the OP if you keep on calling people names for their positions, this is going to cause more reactionary responses that is not helpful to OP. there are many ways to shine light on things the wisest are not necessarily to "brute force" your way.

I don't really want to get into it, but I do want to point out that this place (like many others) currently isn't deemed "safe" for transgender/two-spirit topics, so you don't see people talking about it as a result. this alone does not invalidate it, just like how you wouldn't equate the fact there are very few awakened people on this planet (and unsafe to talk about with most people) that it would make it invalid. I acknowledge however where people are at and respectfully disengage from this discussion in general. @DrugsBunny I acknowledge the difficulty in having this discussion here and I just want to say, I see you and I hope you can find peace within yourself that you don't need approval from others to be certain of your view. please understand that everyone is learning on their own "timelines" and this may be why it can be difficult to get a consensus.

@Emrie I honor your decision ultimately. I just felt compelled to say, if somehow you decided not to physically transition, it is still possible to express the gender you want to express while in a different body to a large degree. it's possible also you haven't met the right people yet (eg, bisexual men and people who embrace "two-spiritedness") because I've known guys who are bisexual and very loving toward their biological male partner who clearly play the feminine role. but I understand also if you want to go the extreme feminine side it may be harder to do, there are still ways around that like art and cross-dressing, changing to a gender-neutral name. the key is to own it and it can be a beautiful thing. but yeah I also totally get that if it's really clear to you that none of those things are good enough of options that you would want to do the switch more officially.

it seems like you're describing "heaven" or "ultimate reality" to me.

@thenondualtankie sorry I can't say it's not meant to judge you negatively in some way... It's just to share that you can become very sensitive to the "being-ness" of another.

@OBEler It's hard to explain it all here. my path generally involves: deconstructing this reality "psychological" healing/purging of the shadow side psychedelic/sober awakenings alteration of my perception of this world and identity to match the awakenings deepening the study of and embodiment of Love/ego dissolution living in accordance with Truth as much as possible Generally in that rough order but this process repeats itself in many iterations.

lol, ye might not believe me, but my sober consciousness has increased so much these days that I live in this "alien god consciousness" every day 24/7. yes not to the same extent as on a psychedelic or a "temporal awakening experience", but it's so much that I feel fully merged with God's mind that a human possibly can while still here and functioning. There is so much light, beauty, interconnection, vastness (esp when driving/outside), majesty, glory, depth of perception, love, intelligence... and my head feels like it's "tripping all the time". I can pick up what someone says and know roughly where they may be at in their level of consciousness, what "work" lies ahead of them, etc.

Behold! The lovely face of "Christ" (idk what other word to use for pointing). Randomly bumped into this, thought I'd share it as it's another good example of what the result of "ego dissolution", integration and awakened self can look like for those wanting to go farther. You can see the "light" and "innocence", joy and love shining through .

@Emerald Saw this one too the other day, enjoyed the extended version.

Wise teachers generally discourage the extended focus on such things when they come, it can be a "distraction" from the hard work of transcending your ego ("powers" tend to enhance it if one is not mindful of this). In greater levels of consciousness "odd abilities" are more just teaching and healing tools, if necessary. But most people are not mature enough to not just use it for egoic purposes and furthering of the distortion that "they're special". So it makes sense they tend to come to those who are a bit more developed.. But hey it's like any "karma", it will all work itself out in the end, so have fun if that brings you joy/self-love. ; )

@integral If it's like a "true calling" then you would just follow through and be willing to not get paid even for some time on it. It's true many business owners (to start) do not pay themselves and have to work another job while working on their business, I'm not saying that's ideal or anything but that's the reality we live in right now. But I'd still be smart about it before investing in anything too large of your personal funds. You can always start with working with a "startup incubator" organization and test people's reactions to your ideas. And so it depends on your priorities. Some people are in a more "well off" position and they are okay with potentially losing thousands on a business idea just to launch something of their passion; others are more looking for a stable income in which case you would be a lot more careful/conservative about what business to get into in the first place. So the questions to ask yourself... What is my primary goal for getting into this? (eg, to replace my current job? to pursue a passion project even if it doesn't "work out"?) Those two things can give you different answers/approaches. And if you're not in the position to just quit your job for a few years for this then yeah I would be more strategic about it (eg, testing in smaller scale). Also there are some room to play if you incorporate early on and that way if things don't work out (lets say you get on a business loan) it doesn't affect all your personal funds. I would consult a professional on this though as I haven't done incorporation or riskier kinds of business but I've talked to people who have and that's how they reduce risks.

@integral What questions do you have regarding finance/business? I will try to answer if you post them. I think some of us are in a more comfortable/settled position right now that might be why..

Will and desire for it.. . And also being willing to surrender much of your "individual identity" and to be of service instead as the primary function.