Yarco

I know that more developed people will probably say that they don't like to assign labels to themselves at all. But for the sake of convenience, how would you explain your beliefs when regular people ask you if you believe in God, or what your thoughts on spirituality are, etc? I can't really say "I'm trying to gain direct experience of Enlightenment as defined by Actualized.org" or "Everything is nothing" without giving rise to even more questions. Lately, I feel like I would most closely identify with the ideas of Pantheism, but I feel like people here consider that a negative word that doesn't fully encompass it or misrepresents the idea, why is that?

So I've been meditating each day for a couple of weeks now, and something interesting happened last night. Everyone here will know what "the voice" is. I've become pretty decent at emptying my mind and can go 30+ seconds at a time without a thought, but last night something weird happened and I saw through the silence between thoughts. There was another, more faint voice underneath the silence. This second voice was quieter but a true "monkey mind." The regular voice has a thought arise, then there is silence/pause between thoughts, then another thought arises. I've always thought I had good control over my mind and it was easy enough to silence thoughts, but this voice is uncontrollable. This second voice is just 100% constant crazy babble nonstop. I'd describe it like Gollum from Lord of The Rings, not in a nefarious way but just that level of constant crazy muttering to itself. I can't seem to silence or influence it, only observe it. If we describe the regular ego as a "drunk stung monkey" then this base level is like a schizophrenic drunk stung monkey on crack and PCP. It's like regular meditation on hardcore mode. It's almost like a deeper source that the ego is getting it's information from. I can only catch glimpses of it, then it is drown out either by silence or the regular more prominent thoughts. Is this a known phenomenon with meditation? Is there any name for this either in secular meditation or Buddhism? How do you address and silence this "inner INNER voice"?