Nahm

@Rilles Right. For sure. It all seems so easy for the true nature. Like, “I’ll just be reality and since I can’t actually not be me, everything will inevitably be awesome”. But we both know that’s not how it goes. This place reached the fucked beyond repair tipping point a very long time ago. The next generation will carry all the difficulties and mental baggage of the last. Nobody’s gonna step up and change a damn thing.

@Rilles Hating on a player keeps you stuck playing. Hate on the whole game. This whole reality. It’s total bs that you had to forget your infinitude to be him. No fairness in that situation at all. Total fucking rip off.

You are always yourself. If there seems to be a loss of ‘an old self’ and or a change to ‘a new self’, it can be readily noticed you are the one aware of all of these thoughts. The self never comes & goes. Thoughts come & go. To bring an end to this suffering is to no longer believe the thoughts about yourself are true.

@Endangered-EGO I’m not convinced hurting yourself is related to equanimity. But you do you of course. ?

@SQAAD ‘There’. What a jokester.

@Endangered-EGO Is that the thinking with the creating pain (op) also? Something better to hurry to more or less?

@SQAAD Ok, but how are you defining oneself & others?

@Endangered-EGO Oh, ok. Why do you prefer ease, speed & efficiency?

@SQAAD How do you define selfishness?

@Endangered-EGO Sounds like you naturally prefer those because they feel good.

Why those?

How do you fit into all this? Sort of sounds like you’re saying there is God, you, a God you imagine, and humans.

Why?

You can’t force yourself because there isn’t a you and a yourself, and there is very literally nothing you need to do.

How do you know God is a he?

@Giulio Bevilacqua Could be over anything. Maybe someone had or has a significant other, an income, astounding luck or charisma, a talent, a symmetrical face or body, was born in ‘the right’ place, etc. Anything … that you felt a little “I want that!”.

“Close the loop so fully that God intercepts your thank you before it even arises in your mind.” “Thank you, that is really beautiful.” ? Adorable.

@Giulio Bevilacqua What about jealousy? Have you ever experienced it?

Just write it on your dreamboard and it’ll show up.

@Endangered-EGO If you were to cut a food from your diet what would it be? If you were to exercise daily, what kind would you do?

@Giulio Bevilacqua Ever experience guilt, unworthiness or insecurity?

It almost sounds like all you care about (are focused on) is the sex. (Not to imply that is the case). No regard for the enjoyment of getting to know him, discovering more about yourself in the process, developing a relationship, etc. What about literally not thinking about sex… taking it out of the equation altogether… if what you really want is to fall in love and to have a happy healthy long term relationship? Not to imply a suggestion of truth in opposites, as in, if what you do really want most is just sex, then just have sex. In that case not one iota of what you’re thinking about matters or is applicable at all.

Don’t underestimate that. That is so to speak the ‘true’ ‘work’. For one being honest it is only a matter of time before the notion something’s wrong with you is recognized as judgement / just the thoughts or thought activity that it is. It’s just that little bit of relief noticing that each time said thoughts roll around or arise. Don’t hold expectation for breakthroughs, game changers, etc - it’s just about that little bit of relief and more & more feeling & knowing that feeling. The thoughts are apparent. So there might be that relief right now in the thought… ‘there is apparently, as in seemingly something wrong with me’. That slight change is what it’s all about. Not the trips etc. Also, contrary to popular belief, there are no “deep” thoughts. That there are, is just one thought, that there are. Believing such a thought = believing a “big” or “deep” solution is needed or could be on some “horizon”. That “deep thoughts” concept is what leads to the “deep problem” conceptualization of simple self evident feeling. Specifically, it leads to ‘deep thoughts of hate’… vs ‘ok, I wanna let being so judgmental go’. Also really be aware of the old habitual tendency to commiserate. Like some people stub their toe, say ouch, and are mindful to be more careful. Pain happens, such is life. While yet other people stub their toe and start googling to connect with others who’ve also stubbed their toe, forming a support group, discussing methods of toe stubbing prevention, how to heal from a stubbed toe, etc, etc, etc mfing, etc, etc. If it feels like shit it’s shit. No need to keep chewing it and ‘make sure’. Just let the shit go whenever the shit arises.

@cjoseph90 It’s not true that you want something serious, and it’s not true that you want to be committed to anyone, and it’s not true that you want anyone to be committed to you, and it is not true that you need emotional connection. You are like a rooster playing hen, taking rooster advice from a fox. ? Let it be clear what you truly do want, and it will be so. The heart can not break, the heart only breaks open, again, and again, and again, and again. That is what you want.

@Javfly33 You can’ think yourself. Feeling tells you so. That is the exit from the nightmare. Has literally nothing to do with dating, approaching, psychedelics, anxiety, social anxiety, or anything you’re believing it does. Only has to do with you can not think yourself. Stop being so gullible & gravely mislead that you believe buying what someone’s selling addresses this. It doesn’t. That’s the same gullibility believing these thoughts. You are a vibrational being in a vibrational universe attracting. Yet trying to pound everything into place, and blaming a yourself when the square pegs don’t fit in the round whole, and believing all those thoughts and internalizing & identifying by those thoughts. Imagine these self referential stories you tell are movies and notice, you wouldn’t even buy a ticket to go see that movie. If you’re gonna story tell, make it the wanted story indicative of the true awesomeness as the creator. You don’t suck, you’re fucking awesome. Some of the stories you tell kinda do suck to experience though. There is no self to fix. There is no self which something is wrong with. There is not that separate self… there is the thought activity about a separate self. Let the denial of this (thought attachment) go, and that instant there is alignment, resonance, truth. Awareness is aware of thought, perception and sensation… not thought, perception, sensation, and a separate self.