Nahm

Accept “this is where I am”. Look at the depression. Go to the sensation. Look for the one who is depressed.

@Preetom It will pass. Your attitude & character are remarkable man.

The question comes from the perspective that this is “normal” or consistent reality, and a trip involves hallucination - and so the question is - Does hallucination happen after the trip is complete. But this is not “normal” reality, it is a hallucination, and it is only appearing to be consistent when taken for granted (laws of physics, etc). It’s actually a perfect being, and consistency is not a given. Reality does not “follow” any rules, being appears to. This appears to you as such if you are a person who is in reality. But you are reality. How much does reality love you (might come to mind)? A lot. Ha! We aren’t talking right now, it just appears that is happening. You’re talking to your self. I’m your illusion.

Relatively, as Kev is asking, the first glimpse is an unprecedented life changing experience. It’s as if there is this sense like sight or hearing, that you don’t know about (but it’s nothing like like seeing or hearing really) It will change your idea of self, and of ‘experience’, reality, etc, and the recontextualizing of literally everything begins. Nothing will ever be the same, as it was an idea / thought, and is revealed as self / infinite (or a facet). There’s just no way to actually communicate a glimpse though. As far as the “over time”... words still can’t communicate that either, but in general I’d say there is the discovery, the honeymoon, the wanting of the honeymoon again, and ultimately acceptance and knowing. Also, an adjective like magnificence is understandably used prior to direct experience, as if it were something other than you, and as if it were some thing which could be described. That recontextualizes, and you see that “it” is you, and you can call you whatever the heck you want at that point, and you’ll be at a total loss to communicate “it” to anyone else, cause it’s them. And the nature of infinite is so, that there is no end to self discovery.

@Pushkar ??♥️

@ahmet sukru Flashbacks are a phenomenon yes, but reality only appears to be consistent.

@Shin There is infinite, immeasurable, soul crushing love for you. Not to mention, all of us too. The set up is worth the punchline my man. Hang in there. Don’t beat up on yourself. Just keep barfing it up. Be loved. That limbo...when the time is right, it may be helpful to realize what is dying off. Clarity there will come all on itt’s Own, but you could preface it a little, if it feels right. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=AUJH-bAVB0w

@Pushkar You’re hanging on to it, keeping it “in”, even in this post. Let it out. Share it. You get different perspectives here, which will open up your mind with regards to the one perspective you’ve been repeating over and over for a year. In this way, you will be free of it. Be mindful, not to stifle the emotional release when it ‘hits’, allow actual mourning as this part of you dies. http://johnfbaggett.com/blog/?p=260

Your emoji / avatar is rolling so perfectly with that comment today. Side note...http://johnfbaggett.com/blog/?p=260

Acoustic Bitter sweet irony. And not.

@nado Sweet! Truth is everywhere ♥️ What fortune, what luxury to be a rower , to be such dust ?? Then he heard it again Just a very faint yelp As if some tiny person were calling for help Help, help "I'll help you... But who are you and where? He looked and he looked He could see nothing there But a small speck of dust Blowing past through the air I say, how confusing, I've never heard tell Of a small speck of dust that is able to yell So you know what I think? I think that there must be someone On top of that small speck of dust Some poor little person Who's shaking with fear That he'll blow in the pool He has no way to steer He's alone in the universe I'll just have to save him Because after all A person's a person, no matter how small A person's a person no matter how small So, gently and using The greatest of care The elephant stretched His great trunk through the air And he lifted the dust speck And carried it over and placed it down safe On a very soft clover” - Dr Suess

No. You can be fully aware you are all there is, that “everybody but me” is a thought in strife, in perfect opposition to actuality. @EternalForest ?? One of the best butterfly effect posts ever. Space/emptied cup via meditation and acuity in distinctions via contemplation are equally (typically) necessary, as well as the practice of inspecting the actuality of the unification of both, via self inquiry. The yin/everything, the yang/nothing, and the transcendent circle / how this is so /... self. Also, holding an intention going into a trip clearly works for some, but could also be experienced as bringing a thought / personal desire into the very “place” in which no thought delivers & all desire can be quenched. Maybe one approach is best for early on, and the other for the returning, more nuanced trips. Maybe coining terms could be helpful....The Inintial Surrender approach to “get in”, and then The Indiana Jones approach for the relics / specifics. Terms could be unhelpful as well.

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@Average Investor I reviewed business plans for a while. If you want, I’ll look at it and give my 1 cent.

@clouffy We’re typically living past 25, and having sex without having a baby every time. Thank you science ??. Listen to better spiritual materials, it’s all inclusive, not contrary to....and self inquire.

@BIggleswerth Welcome to the forum! Heck of a first post. Sounds like you’re doing well with meditation. I would do a few minutes or so of self inquiry right when you wake up. Awareness of awareness (I prior to thoughts) will take less and less time to ‘return to’. Consider self inquiring through out the day as well. ”This place is a dream, only a sleeper considers it real. Then death comes like dawn, and you wake up laughing at what you thought was your grief.” - Rumi

@Fairy Slow down, and see if you can tell the difference between your experience of touching something, and the experience of a thought.

@TheIndigoKid Sounds like you realized the game is already afoot. The adventure of a lifetime. Godspeed!

@Gog Is there a point to this post? Is there an inquiry? If so, what is it?

Think and Grow Rich, N. Hill

@lmfao It is hard to reach a goal, or make changes with habits, when the goal or the change is held as the primary focus, or, when we believe the point is obtaining happiness in the future for having accomplished the change. “I’d feel better if I finished this, or changed this about myself”, is really the same as straight up saying “I got a reason I can’t be happy and love myself right this moment”. Rather than “I’ll feel better, I’ll be more, I’ll be further along once I make these changes”...consider.....this is it, this right here, now. This. This is me, and I ain’t going anywhere. Gonna be me for the duration here. Gonna be this same now change will happen in. So I’m gonna start making enjoying now the primary focus, the inherent chief life purpose, prior to the life purpose I’ll create for this me, in this now. Changes, LP, that’s just what I’ll do in this now. In this now, enjoy the experience of changing something, just for enjoyment itself, just to experience. I’m sure you got a lot to do, got your whole “potential” to wrestle with, etc, but put how you feel now first. Slow down, enjoy. It makes everything easier. Any “big” life changes - are actually experienced as just one second, one now “at a time”. That’s all. That “big life picture” the mind creates, you’ll never actually face that, need to deal with that, or even be able to deal with that, even if you wanted to! It’s only gonna be this moment, this now. Such a tiny small “piece” we’re actually tasked with, but the mind tries to weave years of past and future into now. With this mindfulness, of course as the universe would have it, planning as well as making changes becomes clearer and easier.

“Of course, I can get a hell of a good look at a T-Bone steak by sticking my head up a bull's ass, but I'd rather just take the butcher's word for it.”

@Ethan_05 Zazen is part of a cycle, it’s counter being thinking / distraction. Ego backlash is of a cycle, it’s counter being delimiting the limited mind (aka increasing consciousness). The inclination is always towards homeostasis / repetition, making consciousness work a difficult endeavor. This is a beautiful thing. It’s part and parcel of this miraculous Goldilocks scenario in the ‘middle’ of infinity which makes possible the experience you’re having right now. Eating is a constant. If you sacrifice preference in food choice for increased alignment with health / well being, then day to day you are undermining repitition in a constant / ongoing and consciousness ‘increasing’ fashion. So instead of the big swing from intense zazen (“high” conscious state) to total comfort (“low” conscious state)...your baseline comfort / repetition (via food) is disrupted / kept a little off balance; away from homeostasis, in a trajectory of alignment with well being. The swings won’t be as big, because the comfort isn’t so total. There’s a ton of delicious healthy foods to discover too, which in itself is fun & adventurous and less boring / repetitive. Ego backlash puts you right in the hot seat of the emotional experience of all kinds of cycles. A cycle is a repeating pattern of two things in relation to each other. This is duality, or twoness - a yin & yang nature of relativity. But you are aware of cycles / twoness, so you are not two things, you are The One, and you are not a thing, you are what’s aware of things. You only appear to be of twoness. “In this world, but not of this world” as Jesus said.

@darind One forgets it’s the “two” (duality). What emotion remains in a sealed depravation tank, without stimulus mistaken as not me?

Discipline the mind to practice first thing in the morning, when will power is max. Disrupting the diet on an ongoing basis as a practice helps minimize the rollercoaster, and aligns with health. Also, there can be as much gained from the backlash as the practice. Arguably more.