Nahm

Have you ever actually experienced “going insane” or “losing complete control”? Can you honestly say you know what sane is, and you are that? Can you honestly say you know what control is, and you have it? No. So while thought is telling you that you’re afraid of those things - you’d have to admit, that those are not what you’re afraid of, because you don’t know them, at all. They’re just thoughts. You know them, as thoughts. Nothing more. You have a memory of not liking how you felt a year ago when you smoked too much weed. Notice you are superimposing what you don’t know - “enlightenment”, onto a memory. That is not enlightenment, it is a memory, a thought, you are aware of, now. You don’t know that experience, now - you know a thought, now. You’ve been aware of all kinds of different thoughts. But the awareness has never changed, has it? Thoughts, feelings, sensations change, perspectives change, states change - but - the only possible way that you even know all of that changing stuff, - is because you - awareness - are perfectly consistently constant and unchanging. Only something which never changes, could be in a position to know changing things. You’re asking about fear, ego, spirituality, going deeper, me, and Truth. Notice, those can all be placed into a category entitled - “Things I don’t Actually Know Anything About”. This is because they are thoughts, which you are hanging onto, by believing they are more than, thoughts. But, of course, it can’t be as simple as being forthright and honest, now, that the truth is you simply don’t know the first thing about those things - other than that you know them, as thoughts, now. So instead, you believe another thought in an attempt to reconcile those other thoughts. You introduce the thinking that you should know - so there could be, or might be, something wrong with you... then you hold a perspective against yourself...an experience often described as low self esteem. But notice - nothing actually happened. It was only thought. You were the awareness of this, the entire time. Nothing more. Nothing more is needed.

I’m offering this in addition to what’s already been offered. I read your post to my wife, just now, and we talked about it. She used to have really severe pms, it was almost exactly as you described. She tried therapy, pills, etc. In the last couple years, it has become the complete opposite. Nowadays, she is occationally surprized when she ‘starts’ because she didn’t even notice any pms symptoms! So here’s what she suggests...but please keep in mind, you can not solve any problem while holding onto the same perspective. We experience one perspective at a time, so to realize solutions, that will help, you must let go of what you think you already know. Then there is room for a new perspective. Please really give that consideration. It is not just in reference to actions you are taking or could take as “remedies” - but your entire understanding of your body could be, well, wrong, and that could be the “mysterious” root of the symptoms & suffering. From your post... let go of the beliefs about genetics, that ain’t it, and unless you’re a geneticist actually resolving the problem in that avenue - that belief will not help you. The all-encompassing factor, is mind - beliefs. They are far more powerful than you know, and they influence the relationship with the body more than you know. Notice your parents don’t believe in therapy, psychology, birth control, or medication - but - what do they believe in? If they are in good physical & mental well being - what are they doing, what is their philosophy? What do they suggest to you? Have you tried that? If they are not happy, fit, and enjoying mental well being - then they don’t know. That’s fine. Just don’t base what you do for yourself on what they do or don’t do, and don’t adopt their beliefs. Go to a doctor, and get a complete blood profile. It is quite possible that you are low in something, say iron, hypothetically. Then via menstration, you lose iron, so the major ‘down’ you experience could be rooted in a compounded issue, making it hard to have clarity on what to do about it. It’s very important to see that the thoughts are indicative of the mood & perspective. Don’t believe the thoughts. Their actually trying to protect you, by literally flat out making shit up, in a feeble attempt to make things make sense to you. “Something’s wrong with me” DO NOT believe that, it’s just a thought. As I mentioned, therapy & pills did not work for my wife...but...she went to a wholistic dr....and did cupping, reflexology, a lemon cleanse diet, etc, and those things worked tremendously well. Why? Because her relationship between her mind & body was not understood, and neither was she really aware of the relationship with herself. Your body is probably known to you as a physical living cellularly based human being’s body. This is relatively of course true, but it is much much more than just that. Your body is infinite intelligence. It is ‘made out of’ magic, literally. Your brain however, is a limiter of infinite intelligence. When you have those really really low points, this is the root. In not understanding the body relationship, the mind will just continue ‘kickin out’ thoughts which are rooted in making sense of what you’re experiencing. There will be much overthinking about what other people think of you, questioning your own self worth, creating self esteem issues, etc. This root of misunderstanding the relationship with the body sends the mind on a wild goose chase, a real mental mess, which can unfortunately lead towards blaming & shaming yourself. You’re going about things from the perspective your brain (thoughts) are in charge and running the show, when you should curb thinking and just listen to your body. Much more can come from this than just minimizing the symtoms of pms; intuition, a richer life experience, a healthier body image, a more satisfying sex life, deeper and healthier relationships, not to mention just being perfectly comfortable - just being you. Can you surrender your current understanding / perspective, which is not serving you, and consider, paradoxically, that the answer to the pms ‘problem’, is actually found in addressing choices when you’re not pmsing? If you are eating things to feel better, and then feeling bad about it after and beating up on yourself... if you are overthinking about what other people think of you, and beating up on yourself...if you are measuring your self / life against some “what I’m supposed to do” or “what I should be doing” measuring stick, and beating up on yourself..... - then... there is a lack of mental discipline which is not being addressed. And when period / pms time comes, what would have otherwise been experienced as a few symptoms - instead - drums up the whooooole “beating up on yourself” feeling which you have been carrying, by not addressing. So, pms seems like you’re living through ALL that guilt, shame, frustration, self loathing, etc, etc. But what if you were listening to the body? What if you cut the sugar, flour, etc? What if you acccepted yourself, easily forgive yourself, love yourself - chronically? Then, when you don’t feel so hot from the pms onset - it’d be experienced relatively to feeling really great about the choices you’ve been making, for your well being, and there’d be an appreciation for having taken better and better care of your body, for loving yourself. This alone would minimize the experience of pms - rather than falling so deeply (emotionally) into the abyss of the “pms perspective / mindset”, and painting that color on your whole life, who you are, etc etc. The symptoms would be more of a passing thing, than something identified with, and feeling captive to. Can you see that there are states? That within experience there are highs, and there are lows...? Can you see that you know that to be true of your experience? Can you see then, that you can’t be those states - because - you are the constant, the unchanging thing, which is aware of the changing states? Deepening the realization of this leads to acceptance of ‘states’, and a knowing and a loving of yourself. Then, pms would not be spilling over into all the other areas of your life; relationships, school, sleep, etc. (Sorry for the pun. Couldn’t resist) More.....?

@Cosmic Well alright then. I’m glad you made that all important choice to be willing to acccept help, and to know that these things which are presently troubling can be changed. You will be feeling much better. Can I ask ‘from the ground up’, where you’re at presently with the foundation? ... How’s you sleep? Are you going to bed at a reasonable time, or staying up really late? Are you getting up nice and early, or sleeping in late? And how about your diet? Are you cutting out sugar, flour, carbonated beverages?

@tsuki ?

@Hansu ?? There’s really only the relationship with yourself. All emotion derives from this. All thinking derives from this. Everything we hear people say, is filtered through this relationship with ourself. The more deeply you know yourself, the less unwanted emotions arise, and the less overthinking arises. Ultimately the self is a mystery, a never ending adventure of self discovery - this is why when we try to nailed it down with “pigeonholing”, or “stereotyping” etc, it never feels right. The self can’t be defined. It is more mysterious than what can even begin to be imagined. So there is no need, no worth, in attempting to define yourself or anyone else. When someone who doesn’t know this is encountered, can you see that they are just trying to figure themselves out, trying to see who they are? ...”By stereotyping someone else, maybe that means I’m not like that, or this, etc”. Every stereotype is self inquiry. Every insult is an opportunity for self inquiry, for alignment, happiness just waiting to be accepted. Know yourself, love yourself - it doesn’t matter how you are, or who you are, or what you do - what matters is simply accepting that the fact that you are, is not only enough - it is an unexplainable miracle - just being you. And I’m not talking about when you were born, etc, I mean right now. So be you. Experience being you. Experiment with being you. Honest, genuine, authentic, relaxed & comfortable via self acceptance - and happy just being.......then watch how people respond to that. Watch how the universe responds to that. It’s unbelievable, and you are the only one who gets to experience that. Infinitely beyond lucky!

@SoonHei Simply attention on breathing from the relaxed stomach. Nice relaxed full breaths. No forcing anything, etc. Google ‘benefits of stomach breathing”.

@Sharp You’re pretty mixed up dude, and it sound like you’re on the edge of doing something that may have lasting regret. Try therapy, or at least try opening up here anonymously, or via a journal. Let it out. ♥️

@Sharp Just keep getting it out man. You’ll be ok. It’ll pass. Gotta let it out though.

@moon777light Any time all day. Remember, it’s not pointless thinking, it’s directed inward, to feeling, asking who I am, and letting every answer go. Breathing from your stomach all day, returning the focus to doing so when you notice the mind wandered into thinking - just do it. After just a few days of these two practice your entire perspective and life will change in the most wonderful ways.

NOT - TWO.

@moon777light Well, if you’re looking for a real thrill, possibly the wildest most creative experience in all of infinity - seriously unimaginable, unfathomable, and thoroughly completely mind blowing, so insanely awesomely totally mind blowing in fact that you will absolutely literally forget who you even are! So mind blowing that you’ll transcend “mind blowing” and the perpetual miracle will actually seem ordinary! And then - the craziest most facinating thing - as a miracle - believing it’s “ordinary” - you’ll look for “good” experiences. @Big Guru Balls ??

@Truth Addict ?? Imo, what is needed, is for you to notice the apparent separation of awareness and thoughts. It seems that pointers are going right to being contrasted against existing thought patterns and beliefs. I’d contemplate, by reading your last post, with the filter of “how much of this did I hear and believe, and how much is true, from my direct experience”. Scrutinize every word, belief, and perspective. Loosen the adherence to beliefs. There are projections like an idea of God, that I’d lose something, that I’d lose my parents, etc. You’d expand. Not lose anything.

....with thoughts? First, forgive yourself for having been undisciplined your entire life. Then redirect the thinking into a feverish stream of inquiry and actually do the work; inspect your own direct experience of your birth, and of death. Investigate your own direct experience of being not alive; which is being used as the basis to believe “alive”. I’d suggest doing this right away, and until you fully realize that birth & death was always just a belief, that you perpetuated, now. ...“Used to believe in”?

You dream of annilation! You can never be anniliated. You can dream there is a “real” and you are “alive”, but then, “you’d” be scared to “leave it”. A dream is just a dream, only when it’s “real”, do we make up stories...like birth, death, alive, etc.

? you too.

One more sentiment on the subject.... Why in the world would anyone have kids? What’s gained? For what reason? Not for a reason. Same as God and lives,.... just for the experience. Love.

NICE!

@Ingit Why does the words of the other hurt me? They don’t.

@Thoth Pick up a phone, dial 911, and say “I’ve been abducted”. Then wait a few minutes.

You’re self discovering, turning the awareness that you are, into itself, to know yourself. Don’t blame therapists, which YOU asked to help you do this. Just appreciate the help man. Then, there is no longer a “you” pretending some “separate entity” is “causing” “your” “depression”. Do you see? What you’re calling “depression”, is your own story you’re telling! TELL ANOTHER ONE. ONE ALIGNED WITH FEELINGS. AN HONEST ONE.