Nahm

@OneIntoOne Animals eat plants. Plants create defenses from an evolutionary standpoint. A deer eats a marijuana plant, and then feels confused, lethargic, maybe a little paranoia. That deer is far less likely to eat that plant again. There might be conflicting factors between the effects of the plant… and focus in contemplating. The body is likely responding to this confusion with adrenaline & accelerated heart beat, or the ‘fight or flight’ response. The “bodymind” is responding as infinite intelligence, but the experience is being interpreted through a lens of a separate self (my mind, I’m going crazy, fear of death, etc) “Is this normal & is this dangerous?” Up to you. There isn’t an objective, absolute or ultimately conclusive “normal” or “danger”. It’s probably a safe bet that in simple terms, you’re just high and can breathe & chillax.

As @cetus once mentioned, the human experienced ‘effects’ of marijuana are of the plants evolutionary defensive mechanism, to confuse and thus discourage potential eaters of the plants. (From Maps & Traps) In regard to the guidance of feeling, the mind’s averting or aversion, or, ‘moving away from’ emotion, or, feeling, is the mind seeking better feeling, by innocently & ignorantly ‘moving away’ from it’s source, from the very substance the thought ‘my mind’ is made of, from the very “feeling” ultimately sought.

When it clicks you gonna be happiness. (Or, self-happiness rather, that which is already the actuality) “What is the ego?” ??? What Is a Self Referential Thought. (That’s not a typo! There is no question mark there!) “What”…. IS… a self referential thought. “Your ego” lol! Freakin adorable.

@roopepa Yes, and thanks!

Per direct experience, thoughts only arise now, and can have the content, or implication of, a past. Check and see, attempt to experience a thought, which does not arise, now.

https://www.actualityofbeing.com/maps … see ‘aversion’ at the bottom. https://youtu.be/h3Qjk9LqDvw … listen to the first song there; hear for the first time. Second song’s pretty on point as well. “I wait for you there, like a stone. I wait for you there, alone.” No mind is not conceptual.

Counterintuitive is meta realization. The ‘bigger picture’ at play if you will. Counterintuitive feels so amazing in fact, that it is realized not to ever have been ‘counter’, but simply intuition which was doubted. The ‘unconscious aspect of yourself’, is quite literally, the repetition of that thought (about a yourself), and the ignorance of how it feels / disregard for the true self, the very feeling-guidance, or simply how you feel placed above wha thoughts believe (about yourself, a past, etc). This is like a dam to an endless ever-flowing river of consciousness. Feeling is the healing. Expression is the way. The acknowledge of the feeling and abiding by it, or, listening to it, is already the healing in & of itself. Note the feeling of relief in the dropping of the narrative of the separate self, and the seeking a resolve or logical answer for it. Expression honors and allows the shadow into the light of awareness. “I struggle with low self esteem” is one thought, repeating, a belief. Via proper meditation, this thought activity comes to rest, settling into the peace and love you actually are, that which is awareness, aware of the thought activity about a separate self. One interpretation is “there is something wrong with me”... and the seeking of the solution. Another interpretation is there is nothing wrong with you, nothing you actually need, already no actual problem, only thought attachment to the thought, belief, that there is ‘a problem’, or, ‘something wrong with me’. Going Prior ... to these self referential thoughts = ‘going home’, ‘returning’, ‘remembering’, awakening, happiness.

@John Paul True culmination of a healthy relationship, that of sharing our being, will do more for clarity, expression, and wakefulness, than any practice or substance. Initially, projection is missed, but suffering ensues, and it is later inspected. One innocently, yet most unfortunately, looks everywhere but oneself. The only actuality of distraction is that of a single thought at a time, which is felt to be out of alignment with that which desire is for traction with or of. If wakefulness is that which is desired, projection is the yet seen, and thus still said to be, ‘distraction’. Put another way, X is what I desire to create, be, have, experience... but Y is the distraction from it. In actuality, in truth, Y is that which is leading you directly to X. Imagine said girlfriend saying to you aloud “I am your distraction”. Would it not in honesty, still be up to you as to wether that is the case?

@Strangeloop Those are one in the same. One never faces the mental activity of another’s judgement, only ‘one’s own’ thought activity, about judgment, and the projection onto, others. When attention is gently removed from the abstractions of thought, and returned to feeling breathing from the stomach, the focus shifts from my problems, relationships, one for which it is hard, one who would stay quiet, one who could or couldn’t, should or should, take responsibility... to actuality. Responsibility is response-ability, and in the non-reactionary conscious response of feeling breathing, that “one” is more clearly a thought. There is not a ‘you’ moving through time. Conscious response is always only ever now, or not now. Presence (you) is never not presence. The true One has no ‘other’, such as responsibilities for example. Happening is happening, the overlay of duality, separation, is only the thoughts, or, thought attachment. The relevance of the practice of meditation on the Path.

@Gesundheit2 Ha! I know right?! Suffering’s hilarious! ?

In recognition “I get lost in my mind” is one thought, return attention to feeling breathing from the stomach. In regard to drowsiness, meditate first thing in the morning after a full night’s sleep.

@nuwu Indeed. So simple in fact, I believe consciousness - is already a duality implied.

@Nick_98 In regard to the self referential thoughts, thoughts about the you trying so hard, focusing, etc, meditation is simply the return of attention to feeling breathing from the stomach. It seems there is an attempt to ‘over power’ the mind, rooted in a misunderstanding about enlightenment, and about meditation, and the path. There isn’t any ‘work’ to the path, or to meditation. It’s deep relaxation. With proper meditation these self referential thoughts naturally cease, and come to a rest. The activity of thought, of ‘thinking about yourself’, is no more. Then it is very clear these thoughts were like clouds in the sky, which were obscuring the true nature, or, the ever present empty sky, (analogous for the happiness that is ‘our’ ever-present infinite being). Wakefulness isn’t an achievement, a place gotten to, a thing acquired or obtained. That is ‘monkey mind’, or, attachment to dualistic thought…. thoughts that there is a (1) you, which is going to get (2) enlightenment. Enlightenment is a word which points to what is already the actuality. This overview / map might be insightful as to the role of a proper practice. These tools, specifically expressive writing, might be useful as to the practicality of expressing and releasing the conditioning as it comes up & out via meditation.

The resolve of ignorance, of the “I at one end” and the “consciousness at the other end” is Meditation, ‘the middle way’. Thoughts arise, “I can meditate, I can build up consciousness, I can have nondual experiences, but in the end I may not experience nonexistence of, I. At first it seems like a question rooted in nonsense - who or what is this “I” spoken of ? Via meditation, the “I” is actually realized to be one single thought at a time, which veils & hijacks the true nature, or truth… which is of course the meditation ‘itself’, the consciousness ‘itself’, the nondual ‘itself’. What is a self referential thought.

Can someone have a very big sophisticated separate self, and at the same time be free from all self-image issues? Conversely, can the separate self be in a state of total no-self and still have major self-image issues? I always had the inclination to demonize the separate self as something bad and unnecessary, due to cultural upbringing. But now after (another ) full deconstruction, things have taken another course and started going full-circle. Lately, I've been discovering the importance and value of the separate self on an experiential level. And what's most shocking to me is that sometimes the separate self seems that the separate self is one of the best ways to fully heal the self-image from all insecurities, and that seems like a prerequisite, contrary to what I always thought. It's like the separate self at a certain point becomes/starts turning into a powerful master that can take ownership of all of one's problems and then solve them. I'm still not completely sure, nor completely clear about this, at least not in the biggest picture possible, so I'm looking for more perspectives to explore. I feel like there's a certain series of insights surfacing for me here, but I'm not quite sure I get it. I mean if someone has a relatively little separate self and a lot of self-image issues, to me that must indicate a miserable life (my parents as a prime example). On the other hand, if someone has a relatively big separate self and not much self-image issues (Leo, I think), that means they're probably quite happy and successful. Most people, in this case, fall in the grey area in between on different lengths of the spectrum. What do you guys think?

@Gianna Sorry, that was a typo. ‘Through the roof’. As in, increases. It can get rough though too. Doesn’t have to be though. Practices, releases, expression, inspection… = more being. More being = more sensitivity. Some previously unnoticed nonsensical thoughts will feel more pronounced, more out of tune, without the busy-mind around anymore. Like one violin in an overly crowded room, vs in a large empty auditorium. More clarity & sensitivity = more subtly discordant thoughts are felt. Like one out of tune violin playing alongside nineteen in tune. It stands out more, do to the now greater harmony. In one interpretation you are inside your thoughts. In another interpretation you’re aware of thoughts. The scary vs just excitement (Happiness-Being-Awareness) difference lies between those two interpretations. Come back to being yourself even more, by letting subtle layers of thought activity go, via realizing they are occurring, and instead just directly feel… aka, meditatively return attention to breathing and grounding in feeling / the body. The interpretation is what feels off, imo, not the content (excitement, said to be the object). It is as if there are four subjects there thought wise. The one actually saying it… the I that feels an I, the I that gets overwhelmed, and the excitement which is said to be other or not me, asserting upon me. Inspect… where is this excitement? Where is it coming from? What is this I which is said to be affected by it? Where is that I? The more ‘either’ is inspected in direct experience, like pointing to it, the more it is seen it’s only transpiring in the thoughts, and thus the more the activity settles, and the even-more-feeling, being, there is, and the more sensitivity there is. Feel expansively, in the body, and then outwardly. Start with an inch all around. When you really feel it, then another inch, & so on. When the bliss is too much, dial it down.

@anderson Awesome, thanks.

@flume ?? “A bird in the hand is worth two pints of bottle fed low fat oat milk and raw, natural honey sourced locally”.

@Gianna Great that you’re doing the practices. Sounds like you’re reaping great benefits. Are you aware sensitivity goes through the rough as a natural result?

@Wisebaxter What’s “the relative”… relative to?

@kinesin I didn’t mean you’re talking about his “core being”, I mean you’re not actually taking about “his interactions and behaviors”, you’re frame of reference is the content of videos. (I assume. Maybe you’re besties for all I know).

@kinesinFolks aren’t experiencing Leo though (in this regard), only the videos / content / delivery, and interpretation / understanding of.

@kinesin I can certainly appreciate that, but really to what end. There’s nothing to defend, I’m just sharing what transpired at my end because I saw your comment.

@kinesin Yes it does. You are not seeing the message I received. You are doing the same thing again in posting that, and saying and or insinuating that it is. You can refute this, that’s up to you. I’m just sharing what transpired. I’m not saying that is the message I received and hindsight is 20/20. I am saying that is not the message I received, and people often say one thing, not giving any context of what they’re experiencing, and then after the fact express intensely, with you now ‘in the story’, as the focal point. That has a potential ring of talking poorly about him, but that is not what I’m saying or the sentiment. Keep in mind, I am the other end of a pm, not a family member, not someone who ever even saw or talked with him. And again, I offered to talk face to face with everyone involved. Still do. If you can put yourself in the shoes for a second, what evidence could there really be? When I saw it, I pm’d Leo telling him exactly what transpired. That pm didn’t make the headlines. It’s not nearly as intriguing, the truth rarely is in matters like this. I can not reverse an edit to print or screenshot a message any more than you could. I did also email a user here as well, as I was talking it through trying to wrap my head around where his head might have been. Ultimately I can not know. Also, keep in mind, there was a public post / thread, which seemed quite literal as well. I didn’t see that thread until long after receiving the message. Also, I don’t think it’s as black & white as to say I couldn’t have or shouldn’t have noticed some warning sign(s). Honestly I also feel like I could, or more so, should have. That’s on me and I’m still eatin it. Yet, the addition of approx 80% of the text to the message leaves me generally wishing I had the unedited version to compare, to see with some black & white exactly what I might have missed. And yet, among all of this, there aren’t even any separate selves, and expecting all-grey to be any black & white just in my opinion, brings us all back to self-realization and it’s potential for this place at large. Also, what I say is never ‘on you’ because you participate in this forum, anymore than what Leo says is ‘on me’. Also, I’m being a bit ‘personal’ toward you, more so in the prior comment, and I apologize for that.

I don’t think you are spreading misinformation knowingly, on purpose. But that statement has no truth whatsoever. I received & replied to like three jumbled sentences, and his message was edited & greatly expanded with much detail, after I replied. That edit was seen some ten days later. I get how it looks, totally. But that’s true nonetheless. Consider, right now today, anyone could log into a user’s account, your account, Leo’s account, my account, and post private messages which were edited. Not you, not a user, someone who is not even a user on this forum. And consider, that is permissible. There is literally nothing you could do about it no matter how false it was or what impression it gave. Also consider, I offered several times to meet with his sister and or wife and received no reply. I offered to meet with him without any charge more than once prior to the event, in response to topics like loa, dreamboard. In one way I kinda do not desire to bring this up, as it feels a lot like it looks like speaking ill of the dead, but the editing of the message, if he did it, could be indicative of a happy joyful facade covering much pain. As a dad, maturity & willingness to express and ask for help come to mind. I don’t mean to imply a correlation of ‘childishness’ whatsoever, but it’s very common for kids and adults to express after the fact, and to spin it on mom and dad, or another, in a very similar hindsight manor. You’ve likely experienced this yourself to some degree in your life. “You'd be better off rethinking it yourself, because that's the most accurate and useful interpretation of truth there is” Listen to & employ your own solid advice. “Getting there’, the truth of the situation, would require your Monday morning quarterbacking transmute into actually ‘getting out there’ and helping people. Actually. Like face to face, like ‘real’ folks in the ‘real’ world do. If & when, you’d learn how lifetimes of resentment get aimed at and dumped right on you, (transference) which is in large part why people don’t bother, and just talk talk talk. (Just because one can’t possibly be too clear, that is not a ‘Leo comment’, but a humanity comment). You might also (and might very well not) consider compassion. Imagine people desperately looking for answers, which you are well experienced & equipped to help them realize, but they talk about you, and do not even respond to offers to talk with you, at any time zone, at any time, of your free time, which you like everyone else have virtually none of.