Nahm

Self Inquiry.

Child’s play. I’ve discovered a fruit so potent in obliterating the ego and bringing joy & peace to humanity that I can’t even share it with you.

@Windappreciator ? @Waken You go shove a few bananas up your ass and then we’ll talk about which one of us is more enlightened.

Apples are the real deal, they revealed my true nature of lovingkindness, and anyone who disagree’s or says otherwise is a delusional asshole.

Maybe move something that isn’t shaped like a sail designed to catch wind…? Right?

That’s alright though. Let the past be passed. Trade that ‘understanding’ for the sweet relief of regular ol’ not knowing. I have a hunch you’ll inevitably ‘directly experience’ the actuality of not knowing appearing as all ‘knowing’, as in a knower knowing x, y or z. And just a suggestion, but don’t wait’ll it gets so damn dark next time. If somethin feels off, it is off. And there’s no getting closer to the I am. This is the misnomer of the progresser, achiever, obtainer mindset. Each ‘step toward’ is thinking, and is unequivocally always a step away from feeling, from source, from the I am. I get it though, nobody wants to just meditate every morning and enjoy life. Gots ta get that enlightenment. The tortoise & the hare though. Also, to flip the mental paradigm… ‘the dark’ is always getting a bad wrap, but it’s the real deal. It’s the light which is only apparent. Going by the picture, you might be trying to apply efforting, doing, etc, that has worked well in matters of life, to your path. When it is said consciousness, as in ‘your consciousness’ is expanding, this is what it points to. You know the ‘getting it done’ facet of living obviously. The motivation, the dedication. Now expand by deeply letting go, deep relaxation, allowing thought to appear and disappear, etc. I don’t mean in a summarizing way, I mean, for example, in one day you might let go in a morning meditation profoundly peacefully deep, and kick as lifting, or vice versa. Inspiration… with that motivation & dedication… psh… forgettaboutit. Unstoppable.

Don’t hold the belief you are in a state and then try to practice as compensation, just notice you are not in a state. When you think or say that, attempt to point to it for clarity. Like if you were “in a house”, you could point to the house you are in. Do that with “a state”, to liberate yourself of this suffering. Believing you are is not without emotional consequence, because then you attempt to change “your state”, which “you are in”, without addressing the thought or perspective by which you’re creating the discordant emotions. Essentially, this is monkey mind (a self referential thought narrative) and a spiritual bypassing of that you are doing so. In not addressing this, that whisper of discord gets louder. In letting this lens or framing go, the pain, headaches, stress & fatigue will fade away naturally such that you won’t even remember them really. Every time you focus upon the arising thought “I’m in a state”, source is ‘saying’ no I am not. This emotional & physiological tug of war ends in listening to source. Analogously, imagine someone walking around telling everyone “I’m in a box”… and everyone telling them, no you are not. Imagine them refuting this, and insisting they are in a box. What could you possibly do to help them with this suffering which they insist upon? They’d have to acknowledge they are not actually in a box.

@Martynas777 It’s not what you’re doing per se, which is causing this, it’s the way you’ve framed up the path, the practice, and spirituality as a whole. It’s a letting go, not a progressing, an advancing, or as you say, quotes or not… gains. A dark night is not happening to you, it’s how you’re lookin at it / thinkin about it. Proper meditation is the utter opposite of focusing on the thought narrative of a you getting your ‘hits of higher consciousness’, or ‘how far you can go’. Listen to that source energy when it is subtle, well before it is yelling (panic attacks), and definitely long before chronic dis ease. You is not a thing in a state, so that self referential thought indeed feels very off. ‘Waiting out’ these ways of thinking about a yourself is the stark opposite of a surrendering of these discordant thoughts & perspectives which do not serve you in any way which is why you felt better before. 5-6 months of this? I feel for you man, really. It’s tragic.

Without focus upon thoughts about a yourself which is or isn’t satisfied, is or isn’t doing, is or isn’t not doing, etc, etc… there is the experience of the emotion of contentment, the natural outcome of letting self referential, conditional thoughts, go. ‘You’ don’t ‘reach’ contentment. The goodness you truly are always arises effortlessly of it’s own accord, just like a cork which was held under water (all emotions lower than contentment) and is let go (all emotions higher than contentment…hopefulness, optimism, enthusiasm, passion, joy, etc). ‘Getting out of your own way’, so to speak. We have no call to bring ourselves up, only to let go of what’s bringing us down.

@Waken How dare you. ?

My two cents… go on a get away, a solo retreat, a trip, of some kind. Take a few days off all practices & away from your normal environment & day to day activities, and let any thoughts about progressing spiritually go. Ideally, involve some kind of relaxation like a massage & something cathartic as well. Then when you get back, make a dreamboard and put the focus on what you want in life. Let your spiritual practices be a background to that, a place for letting everything go, for enjoyment, deep relaxation & clearing the mind.

@diamondpenguin I once went to Vienna Austria and ordered a coffee at a run of the mill mom & pop cafe. They said “with milk or without?”. Figured they meant cream, and said “with”. They brought me a cappuccino, or so I thought. It was then that I realized what I’d been calling coffee over here in the states was garbage. That Viennese coffee (cappuccino) is still to this day (ten years ago) the greatest beverage I’ve ever tasted. Someone else apparently noticed this gap as well, and started Starbucks. Met a lady in Georgia who owned a small tea shop in a mall around the same time. She’d noticed the same gap with tea when she had a far better tea and thought it was just heavenly, and she started a company called Teavanna, which I think Starbucks bought for around six hundred million. I’ve been living in a cabin that I’m renovating for a few weeks now, which is about four hours from my primary residence. Where I live, people are talking a lot about how there are no jobs. Where I’m presently staying, everyone talks a lot about how it’s impossible to find people to hire. Four hours apart. Companies are not growing over here, missing out an countless opportunities. If you love coffee and togetherness more than you love living in any certain place, find where ignorant people adapted to piss-oil like I did and introduce them to the heaven you know your way around, which is second nature to you. Making seed money…. this place I’m staying… I called & emailed twelve lawn care companies everyday for a week. The following week one returned my call, just to tell me he wasn’t taking on new customers… that no one within an hour of this house was… because there’s no one available to hire. I was nice & respectful about the situation, but had fun with it, and I’ve been a new customer of his for a couple weeks now. He charges about six hundred a month to cut the grass & spray the weeds each week. There’s around two acres of grass and a one mile path through the woods & it takes one guy less than two hours. The last time he was here we had a beer and chatted after he finished up. I asked him how the supply & demand situation of lawn care here was for business, and he laughed and said it’s phenomenal, and the timing was ‘insane’. He said he works in physical rehabilitation during the day, and wanted a second income that wasn’t physically demanding (riding lawn mower). I asked him if he had a wife, kids, etc, thinking maybe that was the call for the second income. He’s around twenty. He laughed and said no, that he was saving all the grass cutting money… to buy a cabin in the woods… to rent out through Airbnb. He had a lot of questions and I was happy to share from what I’ve learned so far. If someone from back home moved here to start a lawn care business, they’d need only list their service online and get a loan for the equipment, and they’d have more customers than they could service within a month. Maybe a week.

@jdharvey6 If you’re by chance between 18 and 26, it’s very normal. Wired into nature, you could say. When male elephants for example turn thirteen, they bolt, find some bros, and never come back. Comparatively your human parents are relatively lucky and see plenty of you. If you don’t like the “guilt” feeling… don’t believe you’re responsible in any way for anyone else’s happiness, contentment, fulfillment of desires, or well being. Give them their space back, and feel the expansive shift within you for doing so, and kick this jungle’s ass.

@Ananta Absolutely terrible to hear this news! Hugs, love & wishing you a speedy recovery! ?

@Someone here Surely you’ve experienced some kind of sense of time & motion in your dreams, which upon awakening were clearly realized to have been the dream, not actual “time” or “motion”. Given ‘it’ could be called literally anything, why would you suppose the word awakening is by far most often used? What would it be like if this “now” is actually your dream? If this were the case, all of the thoughts would also not be “thoughts” at all, but your dream. How would you be certain, beyond any possible doubt (another “thought”)? If there really were time, there’d be no use for clocks. If there really were reality, there’d be no use for awakening.

@Vynce Ever notice that someone else is conscious at all is never actually experienced?

Nonconformity & a dreamboard, conscious creating. ?

@Tim R Who’s done it like - better - than Jimi Hendrix or the Beatles? Sure, today more money, more drugs, and more sex. But the substance is missing.

Should I use another metaphor to explain it? There was a Jesus just as there is a you. ‘Parable’ is more acute than metaphor. Not a verbal parable, a nonexistent reality parable. Decades of interest, so pretty much all of them.

@Farnaby Cool. We’re speaking metaphorically. Having read from and listened to a lot of teachers. If the main focus is Jesus & the Bible, you’re wasting your time with Jesus & the Bible. If the main focus is a blissed out life full of loving this place, compassion, selflessness and yet experiencing everything you desire to experience in this go round, the book of Thomas is most insightful.

Consciousness can neither grow nor be increased. To answer in the metaphorical context, Jesus. No one has since, nor will anyone ever be, as “woke”. The most conscious teacher alive today, by an enormous margin, is Esther Hicks.

Just, yes. ?? This isn’t a rehearsal. No one is coming. This is it. I am already free.

Got me once again bro. ? Beautiful. Please keep it comin. God bless.

I’m asking much more specifically… How are those activities “work “? Even more specifically, how are you not enjoying the hell out of every one of those things you mentioned? Where did you even get this “work” & “goal” idea / framing of spirituality? Other suggested frames…. “Well, if you want it - come & get it, for cryin out loud! The love that I was givin you was never in doubt! Let go of your heart, let go of your head, and feel it!” -David Grey ”You got the cash, but your credit’s no good. You flipped the script & shot the plot. I remember when your neon used to burn so bright & pink… Saturday night kinda pink… There’ll be devils in their rush - but this duct tape makes you hush. Hey there Sedona let me cut you a deal, I’m a little hung over and I may have to steal your soul.” -Houndmouth ”Oh can’t you see? You belong to me. How my pour heart aches, with every step you take.” -Sting ”You could have a big dipper, goin up up & down, all a-round the bends. You could have an bumper car, bumpin - this amusement never ends. I wanna be your sledgehammer. Why don’t you call my name?” -Peter Gabriel “And love, we need it now. Let’s hope, for some. Cuz oh we’re bleeding out; but I belong with you, you belong with me -you’re my sweetheart”. -The Lumineers

You so funny God. Really crack me up.