Gabriel Antonio

Great entry! My favorites:

I practice belly breathing lying down for 15 minutes. It calms me down. Thich Nhat Hanh has a beautiful explanation for why belly breathing works. A panic attack is like a storm. Our mind is like the treetop, and our abdomen is like the trunk of the tree. The worst place to take refuge is at the top of a tree (our mind), and the safest is by the trunk (our abdomen). It gives me a deep sense of solidity. I also like to count my breath to help concentrate. In, Out 1; In, Out 2; In, Out 3... up to 10. I don't deepen my breath; I only direct it to my belly.

Just a thought... Maybe you can commit to just one of these habits. In my case, I have committed to meditation, and what I have found is that the other habits naturally start coming up without being an obligation. For example, I have been eating good food, waking up at 7 am etc. But if the early day and your morning routine is working for you, keep it going. I myself like to have just one habit so I can put all my effort in it. For example, I have been meditating for 4 hours consistently for 3 months. And to have a streak with just one habit is far easier than 2, 3, 4, ... Plus, having a streak helps build momentum. Even in the hard days, you end up finding strength to do the habit even though you're tired, demotivated, or whatsoever. I used to backslide a lot, and Leo has a great video about this. I know you didn't ask for anybody's opinion or advice, but I decided to give a shot either way...

I also have back pain at times. Practicing yoga for 5 minutes a day has basically solved my problem. I set the intention "I want to release the pain in my back", and then I let my intuition guide me. Child's pose helps a lot!

welcome to the club!

I can totally relate to this.

@VividReality i sort of an awakening experience two days ago, and this image you posted is right on

YES!!! (I meant to write that two days ago, but the forum keeps blocking me. "Wait 80 seconds before posting)

@quantum you did a great job of externalizing your confusion. congratulations,good job!

one week with no music? i'm curious...!=

it's very simple: just fuckin do it. start small make a compliment here and there, then start talking with cashiers (e.g, expose an opinion of yours even if it's dumb in your opinion), get rejected..!

@Dragallur i also didn't like that video... alongside with "non-duality goes cosmopolitan", these were the only videos i haven't seen till the end

@Dragallur my dad has always said, "you can do whatever you do if it's making you happy." you should've seen his face when i throwed the idea of becoming a monk... but people eventually get used to different things you're doing, but they indeed resist in the beginning. so we gotta stay rooted. side note: i got into meditation because i was interested in lucid dreaming...

chakras are pools of energy in spiral that flows in our body. when a chakra is closed, the energy doesn't flow. when we open them up, the energy flows.

sometimes when i am lazy, my grandma scolds me. this is a wake-up call to me.

i wrote on my wall today "expect self-doubt". this is a reminder to stay aware and mindful that this will happen. in other words, just the awareness that self-doubt is occurring already helps get rid of it. you will recognize it and say, "OH! this is self-doubt." and it will be in-the-moment. by noticing it, it dissolves.

@Dragallur cold showers are therapy hehe your mum is against meditation?

why follow what Leo say so blindly? what i would suggest is to exaggerate your behavior. so sit on your couch even though you don't feel like it anymore so that you TRULY know how it makes you feel. at one point, you will simply outgrow it.

All is well... that's a beautiful mantra

whenever i try to force to compassionate, it is not genuine. if i genuinely want to act like an asshole, i will. holding myself back through guilt and fear ("of being evil") is the worst thing that can happen. when i genuinely follow my desires, i naturally start having compassion, true compassion.

Here they are: 1- SLIGHTLY MOVING MY LIPS When I am with strong emotions, I move my lips. This kind of ruins the meditation, because the point of meditation is not to talk to yourself. It gives me no sense of purification. On the other hand, when my mind is very loud, but I am able to keep my mouth shut, I feel the purification. Possible solution: Prior to meditation, yawn really hard twice and make weird and spontaneous sounds with my mouth for about 2 minutes. This way, my mouth will get tired. 2- PLANNING WHAT TO DO AFTER THE MEDITATION IS DONE I have got this habit a few months. I do get a lot of creative ideas that I wouldn't have otherwise had. Also, I feel this is what mind wants to do. However, it feels like I am more doing visualization than meditation. Possible solution: Just allow it to be and eventually I will get tired of doing that. 3- AVERSION TO EXTERNAL SOUNDS Everything: People, constructions, but especially music. When my neighbor is playing loud, low-consciousness music; I get lost in the song and the beat. In a way, I fear that shitty song will toxify my thoughts & subconscious mind. I usually close window mindfully, or if that's not enough, I go to another room. Possible solution: Experiment to be with the music throughout a meditation sitting. If you want, share your experience...

@Guivs I can hold this as a belief, but I still don't have a direct experience of that. Maybe one day I will...

What I notice in myself is that if I am having in meditation, that means stuff is coming to the surface that I was trying to numb down in my day-to-day life. Meditation always helps. It is like baking a bread. Suzuki Roshi says that in times of great difficulty, there is nothing that can helps us more than sitting. Realize what you're going through is a phase. Try to limit the most negative behaviors and keep meditating...! Remember that meditation in a way is just sitting, so everything that's coming up already exists in you. You are only becoming aware of them.

When I am feeling very high consciousness, I sleep for 4 hours. I experienced that when one day that I had very intense meditation sessions in which that Fear showed its face to me. And I was constantly challenging it. "What do you got? You show me more!" Anyway, this day I realized how fear runs my life and I don't even know it. So for this day, I simply didn't want to sleep. When I actually slept, it felt as if it were a very light sleep, as if my consciousness was still awake. All in all, that's not something I can force. It simply happens.