Gabriel Antonio

@Franz yes it is so ducking funny to talk to people with the thought of, "shit I am talking to myself in a different time and space. It makes so much fucking sense. The fear of death is hilarious because I am like a machine who believes has a live on its own. It's like hilarious to fear losing your life if you have never had it in the first place HAHa. You are a joke HAHa I feel very clean mentally and physically. Realizing my true nature... slowly but steadily. There is no rush because the Truth of unity remains the same. I got to accept that: even if I am going through hell, this is also divine. Because the divine includes everything. A good way to overcome the fear of death, of going insane, of being "mean" is to go through it on a psychedelic trip. I also feel a big existential relief. It is like, "oh, no matter what I do this truth is there. " I recognize that I am just a big system. Dude, is that crazy. I am everything. Wow. It is infinite! It can never end. Hahaha.

@Nahm HAHAHAH that's not fair. You actually love yourself

gratidão!

well, haha, i do think you missed the point of the retreat haha i can relate to doing the do nothing. i had a very similar experience of using this technique as a way to engage in overthinking. well, i am happy that you have actually did it. thanks for sharing your experience.

i can relate to what you wrote. i had such a deep enlightenment experience when I was on ayahuasca that makes me go, "wow, did that really happen?" it feels so far-off from my current reality that i might disregard it as "craziness". but in a way, you are unique. in fact, you are the only one here ain't that funny? haha

@Afonso i think it will simply grow and grow =)

life feels amazing. i feel like i am in allignment with the universe on a very deep level. it feels like everthing I do is right cure to perfeccionism > decide quickly, take the first option, or decide to half-ass hehe peace, World ;D

@Afonso yes and afterwards on ayahuasca. amazing! this is all a game. you are just a player. you are not the character. you are the one behind.

AWESOME! =P I have felt that! That's it!! Amazing, isn't it?

Endure boredom.

You can't get into the effortless state by making more effort. Here's the thing: Hardcore perfectionist here. So to cure that, I have been consciously being more passive, half-assing stuff, and saving up energy. Sometimes I do counterintuitive moves that may seem negative for some, but if I trust my higher self and actually do them, man... I get some of the best results. I know where I am coming from, but doing this make me feel guilt and fear. Some of my thoughts: "YOU SHOULD HELP!" "WHAT A BAD HUMAN BEING YOU ARE FOR NOT HELPING!" "BE KIND!" So, from now on, I consciously decide to simply follow the path of least resistance. This seems like I am a lazy-ass person haha. But I know where I am coming from. You can't get into the effortless state by making more effort.

relax. let the light enter you and dance in the presence of your almighty presence. i love you <3

Insights > I have had for the first time a true no-self experience. I could feel how everything is my creation. Some insights I actually experienced first-hand: "You secretely know that you are the only one here." "Talking with others gives you the ilusion that there is someone else other than yourself." (Oscar Wilde) "I felt like I was stuck in my own creation." > I felt a strong energy towards destroying all ilusions. I was able to break free of thoughts patterns as if I were expurging them. > At one point of the trip, the image of Leo came to mind. And he was just laughing really hard. It reminded me of what he wrote on a recept post here, "To know God's raddiance." > A deep-rooted fear also popped. Of going insane. At some point, I stopped giving attention to that thought. > I was questioning myself as God, "Why did I create all of this?" It is all a great party. > I accepted death. At one point, I kept myself nearly 100% still. Of course, I was breathing though. I began pondering, "What is death like? What is this thing called absence of life?" It felt liberating to dive into that. > If you are forcing, then it is not true love. > Another thing that happened was how to cure my perfectionism: start half-assing stuff. Sure, this advice is not for most people, I guess, but to me works great because then I find the sweet spot. Me currently |--------------------|-------------x------| Half-assing Perfectionism Therefore I apply force the other way. > I felt so liberated. At one point, I thought, "What if this goes away?" Then, a wise spiritually matured voice said, "It is okay."

it's all in divine order. whether you want it or not. follow your natural instincts. be a nobody. expect to achieve nothing. and trust yourself.

"Be yourself, everyone else is already taken." Oscar Wilde

@Azrael Thank you for sharing your experience!

@Tightrope Walker It can never go away. No matter what you are doing, you are doing correctly. There is nothing to achieve. Whether you want it or not, it is here. Always was and will always be.

Other insights: - Resist the temptation to correct others. - Use low energy. - Be a nobody. I had an image in my mind during the trip of a very small cloud, and the wind dissolving it. That's how like life is. Expect life to be boring, and it will become amazing.

@ShanMy legs always go numb when I sit cross-legged.

I believe the Buddhists refer to small sense of self and large sense of self. It's all one, dude! Hahaha That's utterly hilarious! It has always been you... only you... haha

@Arkandeusamazing writing skills! very insightful post! thanks!

In a quiet place. The psychedelic will take care of the rest.