Gabriel Antonio

I have had horrible experiences with some so-called Shamans. Sometimes the dosage is too high. And they keep telling that you have bad spirits. I always suspect on those "you gotta go" type of thing. I probably wouldn't go and baby step my way through it.

Hey, felt like writing some random thoughts: - On Becoming a List-Maker I love how Jack Kornfield said that the Buddha was a list-maker: the Eightfold Path, the Four Noble Truths, Twelve Principles of Forgiveness etc. And I have been doing 20-item lists (I force myself to think 20 things), and this practice is very liberating. First, it is great to take things out of my head. Second, it boosts my creativity because then I see how much I got inside of me. - 2018: Softness I had defined my intention for this year as “playful root” so that I stay connected to my roots while being playful. Yea, that’s nice. But I also like this other one. Softness. In the body, mind, and heart. I feel like I am slowly conquering my hyperactivity and euphoria. For example, today I was thinking of doing 3 things (yoga, ayahuasca, and a concert). Dude, if it were 7 months ago, I would have done the 3 no matter what. But thankfully I think I have learned my lesson: minimalism is the way! So, I only went to the concert, which was amazing btw. He is a beast. - My Only “Real” Self-Development Progress: 10% more self-acceptance I had a ego backlash this beginning of the year. Gained some weight, got overstimulated various times, and been half-assing at work. I had a HUGE growth last year, so this backlash is a good contrast. And one thing that I have noticed is that there is like 10% more self-acceptance, which is a true blessing and so useful. When I am hating on myself or the situation I am in, I remember to apply some self-acceptance to the situation. So I use a lot of spiritual truths that are in the feminine part of the spectrum: > It’s okay. You are doing good enough. > Relax the body > You are dismissed of any charge. You are innocent! > You are Everything > Relax. Nothing is in control here. > From the mud comes the lotus. > You do not have to do anything. > Do not use force. You are enough as you are. I have found that I work better with feminine spiritual principles. I am grateful that I have weaned myself off the neurotic seeking I used to have. As Matt Kahn puts it, “Because the doorway of Enlightenment does not open for beings who are going on with their spiritual path with ferocity and hyperactivity. The doorway of Enlightenment and Supreme Liberation opens within a being who demonstrates relaxation.” Or, as I like to put it, softness. You do not need much effort nor hard work. It’s like 20% of effort. > I feel like it is possible to learn things with zero theory. Just gotta imitate long enough, do not get attached to results, and become curious about the thing you wanna learn. Genuinely curious. Then, like magic, you learn the thing. I want to write a book about this method of mine. Got to fully embody it first. Well, think that's enough. > I am going to Vipassana in two weeks. Would never expect that Haha. Cool! Let's get immersed in meditation. My only concern is getting too much physical pain during meditation. So I wanna be able to sit nicely, effortlessly upright for hours and hours (like 10). After all, physical pain is not a sign of growth, but of exhaustion. What if, in reality, you treat yourself like Cartman treats people?

From tripping a lot, I have seen how bad trying to rush your awakening can lead to. Deep down I am not even sure if I want enlightenment. It came to me various times in different trips the following: we are gonna experience the Absolute when we are dead. This seems obvious, but this helps me slow the process down. Most of the times I feel like I am hyperaware, and that I should practice some unconsciousness. I always remember: "Be a turtle!"

The 1-Take Lifestyle So, here is the thing: life cannot be lived if you are thinking you are in a rehearsal. And the best way to train that spontaneity is through what I call the 1-take lifestyle. You do not think too deeply to do anything, you simply do it. Imagine you are in a real play. So you are there in front of many people, and they are all staring at you. Do you really think there would be enough time to think about every single thing you say? NO! The gift is exactly in the capacity to relax into the moment and do it. I got this idea from Ralph Smart. He always braggs about the fact that he shots his video in one take only with no script. Haha. I like this philosophy of his. In his older videos, he used to edit A LOT; he’d go through hours and hours on the editing room in the search of the “perfect” version. But then, he realized later on about radical action. He also mentions about school. Have you ever noticed that the brightest kids do not make a lot of effort? That they do not study as hard as most people? The real good ones. I had a friend who did not take any notes whatsoever and was the top in the class. There is also a quote that he always mentions, which I really like: “You cannot get into the effortless state by making more effort.” Most of us here are pretty neurotic, I can definitely guarantee that. Most of us still think that brute force is the way to go. But it is not. The way to go is through softness, but firmness. It is as if your whole body is relaxed, but there is a tonality to it. Like the bamboo. Basically you want to become a bamboo, so there is absolutely nothing inside of you. Then, you can become a superconductor of Divinity. Now… coming back to the 1-take lifestyle. It is the same thing. What I am saying here is not for you to go on living a crazy, hyperactive life. NO! Minimalism is also needed. But what I am trying to say is: There is no time to think. When you are thinking, you cut the flow. If you wanna sit down and just think about some shit, that’s fine. But if you keep thinking while you’re doing everything in your life, then… I can almost guarantee that you are misusing your energy. STATE OF FLOW REMOVE FILTERS ZEN BODY BEING So, next time you are talking to someone, talk for real. Or for example, when you are practicing meditation, do not overstress for how bad you are, instead keep the flow going. Improvise… Got it? Instead of wishing the world met your unrealistic expectations of perfection. There is no perfection. And, as Ralph Smart says, the paradox of the perfectionist is that they want things to be so perfect that they end up not doing shit.

i think a good word for what you are going through is fragility. everything breaks you. you need to go through a process of desensitivity. the fastest way to do this is through exposure. you expose yourself in small dosages until you become comfortable with the things that used to freak you out.

i think it would be cool some ideas could be: > Multiperspectiveness > Going Full-Circle (especially regarding Introversion) > Psychedelics i don't know what's the dynamics for doing a ted talk, but i think Leo should easily be able to.

Remember to Have Fun! Enjoy yourself! Even if you are screwing things up, at least enjoy the minimal moments of gratification. In Buddhist psychology, they speak of three types of personality. The two most common ones are either attachment-based, or aversion-based. Sometimes I get so aversed to the world that I end up not wanting even the good shit. It’s really fucked up, and I will not go into detail here cause it really is a rabbit hole. For a long time I thought I should enter a state that is somehow different from the one I am having in the moment, but Nature is not dumb. It is not making you live the situation you are living for a stupid reason. Yea, deep down, there is no meaning. And this is not a bad thing. Quite the contrary. We, then, can fabricate our own meaning. For more, watch Leo’s video on purpose. (Leo is at his finest on that vid!) But anyway, I was reflecting back on my life, and maybe my greatest problem is that I never allowed myself to relax completely. I have developed this neurotic and destructive belief of an ever-unsatisfying experience of the present. So basically no matter what I am doing my mind is always putting myself under a miscroscope. But… I have found that I want to live in a playful way. Yea, I get it. This whole thing is fucking joke and has no meaning to it. So, instead of getting pissed at the meaninglessness of life, why not have fun in the process? We are all gonna die anyways… Not to say that you should seek danger. Nope… it’s just that… maybe you should quit self-improvement. Cause it never fucking ends. Don’t know if you have noticed that. So when I embody self-acceptance and a sincere appreciation for being alive, wow, it feels like my body instaneously starts feeling good, as if the Body actually wants to serve me. And if I always act like an ungrateful and highly-critical bastard, it will respond accordingly. And on the other hand, if I fuck things up, but I enjoy myself in the process, it feels like magic happens. Because it feels like I get excused from the consequence, when I simply allow myself to not care. Dunno if this text makes any sense. Not in the mood for reading it or editing it. This ain’t college, thank god And plus, I have decided that I want to fully embody a new lifestyle. >> 1-take only << This means: no editing. Train myself to be good in one shot. Live. No rehearsals. But going back to the topic, I find that I get tons of energy when I am enjoying myself unconditionally. SURE, I don’t mean basic needs. But even then, I still believe it is possible. Holy shit, I am writing this coming from almost 0 experience in this. Because as I mentioned my mind is always looking for the bad thing. But, aw, life goes on. All the lies are being melted. One by one. Drop by drop. No need to hurry. Cause Nature is in action Here. [Stupid poem written by stupid me. yea, I been doing good with the self-love]

Just fucking do it

Take a break

On this journal entry, I am going to write about three other intentions that I have done recently. Just to recap, I put on a wristband and everytime I catch my eyes looking at it, I tell myself the intention. This is great because it helps you embody the insights, as opposed to only knowing them. Nothing special is supposed to happen > Reality is perfect as it is, and there should not be any need for more stimulation. > This goes full-circle. When you truly accept the boredom, a lot of “special” things start to happen. > Right expectation. If you go on living your life expecting that something grandiose has got to happen, then I am afraid you will fall on your ass pretty quickly. True happiness and fulfillment comes from Mastery, which is not only long-term but life-long, and not some instantenous. The ego has always something to complain about > Actually, this is a strategy to justify my own misery. When I simply become cognizant that there is this program (more like a virus, actually) running inside of me, it starts to dissolve. > Tai Chi helps with this one because I am learning how to manage my energy intelligently as opposed to wasting it with thinking about all the wrong things about myself, other people, and my surrounding. > When I allow my Little Ego to complain as much as it wants, haha, full-circle once again: it stops complaining. And I find that it really is all stored in the body. The Little Ego is in your body somewhere. And maybe you should just release it by relaxing your body a bit more. Burn Neurons > I am in a Hakuna Matata phase. I am building my foundation to progress in life. In a way, I feel like I am recovering from all the shit that happened to me, especially school. So, the thing is: burn neurons as an conscious choice is actually called relaxation. And, yes, it can be watching porn, Netflix marathons, ice cream binging. If that’s what you are up to. I feel like sometimes we cut the process of Nature. Maybe we have to go through shit so we figure out how to live life better in the future. Maybe we have to go through that phase to outgrow it, otherwise we abort the cycle. > It is actually pretty fun to do this. You know, when I write burn neurons, I also mean that you can waste them. And if you find yourself wasting them, at least be creative in process. For example, if you want to binge watch "Freaks & Geeks", go ahead and do it. But… do not lose your dignity in the process. This means, prepare the goddamn thing. Don’t just throw yourself in the couch. Give yourself some challenges. Watch an episode with your eyes closed. Watch one walking on your living room. IDK! You figure this shit out. Haha. Or simply allow yourself to enjoy the goddamn thing. > I noticed that I started following my true desires, when I allowed myself to waste neurons. Ever since we are very little, we were forced to do shit. And this in the long-run is terrible. I am trying to get into this state of Effortless Power, and I feel it is totally required that I move into the direction of positive motivation -- not neurotic one. ......Why do I put so much energy into things?.........

Telling About My Little Experiment - Programming an Intention for the Week You take a wristband and place it on your wrist. Then, everytime you catch yourself looking at it, you remind yourself of your intention. I took this from Leo, actually. He sometimes suggests this technique at the end of the video. For example, in the contemplation video, he says to contemplate about relationships for 30 seconds; the other one he says to make it pinch you, you know, slap the wristband on yourself everytime you catch yourself criticising (Perfectionism video). Anyway, I am a terrible writer cuz I go to a lot of tangents. Have you been practicing your concentration, btw? It can be as simple as listening to a song till the very end, without listening it on the background. Can you do that? It is actually kinda challenging, cause the mind goes CRAZY. So… back to my experiment: it has been going very well. I find that having a juicy insight on your wrist is life-savior. Seriously, it helps a lot to avoid getting triggered and stay focused on self-actualization, as opposed to self-shame, self-guilt, and self-hatred. Haha… OKAY! So let’s get to each week and each insight. First week Intention: If you can let go easily, let go. If you can’t, let it be. Insight: This is a formula for a stress-free lifestyle. Comment: Seriously, if you are stressed out about something, that means you are not aligned with God’s Will (as the christians put it), so I took this insight from Leo’s video, and, man, did it work. Cause you can apply in many, many situations. Should I stop thinking about this thought? Can you let go easily? No? Then, Let it Be. It is actually a meditation technique. Quite powerful! Second week: Intention: I am Gabriel Insight: I am fucking amazing Comment: I got this idea from my Tai Chi teacher. She recommended us to use the “I Am” secret to embody our individuality. This insight makes me comprehend the magnititude of my greatness. If you think in terms of Physics, we are GIANT creatures, depending on the perspective. It makes me go, “How can I not see that?” (Btw, I feel like studying physics is a catalyst for enlightenment). So… in times of trouble, I affirm this sentence for reminding myself of my greatness. Third week: Intention: I will survive Insight: The Universe will go you what you ask it. From now on, I do not want situations that makes me challenge my survival skills, but rather situations that promote my well-ness and well-being. Comment: This intention is EXTREMELY powerful. In a lot of situations, I doubt of my own capacity to kick-ass. I get scared of uncomfortable emotions, not knowing that they are a signal that a high performance state is about to be entered. Haha, and I feel this insight helps put into perspective life itself. Dude! We are all gonna die VERY soon. If you realized the magnitude of this fact, man, wouldn’t be living your life differently? Like, taking more action, getting into some crazy adventures? The thing is, a lot of us are extremely fragile. We cannot handle any emotional, nor physical distress. We shy away from them. But the truth is: they are a part of life. They are the excrement of your greatness to flourish. If you want to understand reality deeply, think in terms of Nature, because it fucking mimics itself over and over again. PÁ! And, btw, I want to introduce you guys to a concept called: anti-fragility. There is a pretty cool video of that on youtube: It is pretty cool. And it puts this whole question that we are dealing here, which is: Life is ending one minute at a time. Is that Fight Club? Love that movie btw. It has a deeper message in it that almost nobody got it. Fourth week: Intention: Active Auto-Mode Insight: You Already Are Good Enough Comment: So… here is the thing: you do not have to force anything, in fact you are the one causing your own problems by the way you react to things. Response-ability. I feel like society does a great job at transforming us in half-dead people. We get so lazy and comfortable with the beliefs that were held into us, and we simply don’t question it. And this one about “being cheerful” is pervasive. So… I decided to go against the grain. One of the most wide-spread ideas is “do not be in the auto-mode.” However, if you consciously decide to enter auto-mode, that becomes… RELAXATION. And this is, in a nutshell, how you truly want to live your life. My acronym for this one is AA. Activate Auto-mode. Fifth week: Intention: There is always something to complain… (to Inferior Ego) Insight: Shit, I got tired… Hahaha… Gonna finish that later. But this is a great exercise.

Wow... it makes perfect sense that people-pleasing stems from being criticized in childhood. At some point in my life, I had to distance myself from my parents and my family in general. I think you are right on trusting yourself again. The power lies within. It's hard to always remember that though. Wish you the best! And you write very well btw, OP.

The Power is In Our Breath! So, by this, I do NOT mean that we should be forcing our breaths all the time. Obviously this will backfire. Our diafragma, for example, is eventually gonna get tired. No, we do not want that. Instead, let us focus on a more tranquil breath. This is called Eupineia, the standard breathing. No muscle effort at all. Remember: breath-work is just like going to gym. If you wanna be the highly unstrategic rabbit, go ahead and overdo. But, if you are like me, and you want to become a Wise Turtle, then let us start small but in the right direction. In fact, the theme of forcing the muscles of the breath is recurrent to me. When I get a glimpse of how amazing I can feel through breath control, I easily get attached to practicing over and over again. It sucks because it backfires. It is just like watering a plant. You don’t do it all the time. Or else you screw the whole process. Anyway, here is my advice: focus on acquiring total body relaxation. Your breath will auto-correct. [You must always remember that your spine should be as upright as possible (but relaxed). And, really, your whole body should be jelly-like, but with some tone.] I hope you get the key point in here: Tai Chi has done this metamorphosis with me. 7 months in, and, MAN! It is such a gradual -- but profound -- transformation happening . Yes, my ego is backlashing crazily as I mentioned yesterday. But at the same time, I have little gaps of what is about to unfold. I see how everything is fitting in the big picture. The big picture is all that matters. Everything will make sense. Well, just some stupid words that came up to my mind… Ppl, please do not overdo. Whatever it is you’re doing in your spiritual practice, DO NOT overdo it.

There really is no rule. Make sure you don't get stuck in paralysis by analysis.

Maybe You Should Quit… I don’t know about you, but I am pretty tired of that self-help cliché: “Don’t give up.” This can cause a lot of neurosis in some types of people. I have recently read, “The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck” (great read!), and he talks about Bukowski. That guy was fucking hilarious! He was such a careless guy that he went full-circle and became an awesome writer -- and a human being. By being so honest to his own devilry, he also goes full-circle into becoming “good.” I love the feeling of relief when you are reading or listening to something, and you go: “Wow… that sure resonates with me.” For example, the insight Bukowski gave us is: Don’t try. Trying is for losers and people who do not know their talents. Leo mentioned, in the “Personal Questions to Leo” topic, the phrase: “not forcing anything.” THAT’S IT! I have tried so much in building discipline, and from my experience, it ALWAYS backfires. Sooner or later. Right now, I am in a HUGE ego backlash, and it is freaking me out. I am seeing myself overeat, isolate, be lazy, smoke TONS of weed, binge watching Freaks & Geeks (great show, btw!), jerk off at least twice a day, manipulate, escape life, and more to come! Hahaha, and the craziest part is: I am not stopping myself. I am simply observing myself do stupid shit. [For more: watch “Awareness Alone is Curative”]. x/x/x/x/x/x/x/x/x/x/x/x/x/x/x/x/x/x/x/x/x/x/x/x/x/x/x/x/x/x/x/x/x/x/x/x/x/x/x/x/x/x/x/x/x/x/x/x/x/x/x/x/ Man, I have been through hell so many times that maybe I should stop fearing going down there. Because, deep down, it is all a matter of well-qualified energy vs bad-qualified energy. What shall we do with the bad-qualified energy? Transmute it through deep breathing. It is as simple as this. x/x/x/x/x/x/x/x/x/x/x/x/x/x/x/x/x/x/x/x/x/x/x/x/x/x/x/x/x/x/x/x/x/x/x/x/x/x/x/x/x/x/x/x/x/x/x/x/x/x/x/x/ Free Yourself From Guilt! @Sri McDonald Trump Maharaj Hi Mcdonald, thanks for sharing the videos from Dr. Garbor on addiction. That guy is fucking amazing!

I really resonate with Leo's advice on a recent video: be more like a girl. Pickup never helped me. The thing about relationships is that it all depends on the circumstance, so you cannot expect a magic technique that will be foolproof. I'd suggest to throw away all those rules about what you should do or shouldn't do to get girls. It is much simpler than you might think... Regarding taking more action or stop taking action, if you have explored the field enough, and you feel kinda fed up, I'd suggest focusing on other priorities in your life. A relationship shouldn't be your goal. Just like money, status, sex are also bad goals. They are by-products. Maybe you should focus more on your life purpose, and results in dating will shower. And the funny thing is, you will not even care. You will go, "Wow! I was desesperate for THIS? This is so shallow!" Remember: the more needy you are, the more you repel people.

@Dragallur upvote I loved this topic... I myself was guilting of drinking some soy milk while reading the post about mindful eating haha. Wow, congrats for taking action! This video is pretty cool. The guy rushes through the thing, but the final example that is sorta like yours:

That's horrible. Why you do think capitalism works? Incentives...

Very good question! i’d say probably it is a better idea to not meditate. Why? Because if you do, you might start seeing meditation as a grim duty, a chore, an activity you do cause you force tourself to do it. I used to stop myself from doing shit, like you are doing, and I would neuroically sit upright, put the timer on, and start torturing myself (it was really a torture). You see, many people (including Leo) advocate this rigid approach to meditation, but the game completely changes when you are under depressive phases. Repressing the depression will actually make it stronger in the future. Maybe you have noticed that. You stop yourself from watching porn, then... 2 days later, you are watching the worst type of porn (which you don’t even like that hardcore...) but, well, that’s how the mind works, mi amigo! My counterintuitive advice would be to allow yourself to make mistakes, to be a bad self-development student. Eat as much as you can allow yourself, watch as many porn as you want, sleep as much as you want... Remember: awareness alone os curative. Awareness = Observation So if you can simply watch yourself doing the negative shit, this will be enough for the behavior to autocorrect sooner r later. Leo has a whole episode on this. One of his best ones: Awareness Alone is Curative. I also recommend How To Stop Backsliding. Always remember that brute force will only get you as far as you have gone. If you are anything like me, you have overused will-power to the point that it goes full-circle, and you become highly demotivated and without “horniness” for Life. In the African religions, there are entities that are depicted with the penis erect. So basically we need to light up your inner fire, that thing that turns you on. And this has a name, my friend: life-fucking-purpose. Hope to hear it back from you! All advice telling to you to “just fucking do iti” is a complete garbage, BTW. You should probably seek real friends that are also on this path. Unfortunately this is kinda hard to find, especially in the standard of Actualized.org (which is really high in comparison to mainstream self-help people). But you can find one. The Buddha used to call that a sangha. So, three things: 1- Allow yourself to feel depressed (so do not force “healthy” behaviors) 2- Fully engage in the bad habit, and observe yourself doing the bad behavior. 3- Find a sangha. Again, I hope to hear t back from you! Greetings from Brazil ?

Cynicism is an attitude or state of mind characterized by a general distrust of others' motives. A cynic may have a general lack of faith or hope in the human species or people motivated by ambition, desire, greed, gratification, materialism, goals, and opinions that a cynic perceives as vain, unobtainable, or ultimately meaningless and therefore deserving of ridicule or admonishment. A common misapplication of this attitude involves its attribution to individuals who emote well-thought-out expressions of skepticism. Such miscategorization may occur as the result of either inexperience or a belief system in which the innate goodness of man is considered an important tenet or even an irrefutable fact. Thus, contemporary usage incorporates both a form of jaded prudence and (when misapplied) realistic criticism or skepticism. The term originally derives from the ancient Greek philosophers, the Cynics, who rejected all conventions, whether of religion, manners, housing, dress, or decency, instead advocating the pursuit of virtuein accordance with a simple and idealistic way of life. powerful, shit!

I Wish… I wish my future self could step back into time and tell me that… It is okay if you isolate yourself… myself… All my exaggerations and all my addictions… I wish I could accept all of that shit… accept that I am vulnerable and that I can have a break down at any moment… But I resist… and from resisting, I make the monster more scary that it is… This rush for awakening, for perfecting myself… maybe I should simply accept that I am not immune to feeling awkward feelings, confusion, etc. All this sense of meaninglessness that permeates my mind makes me feel like life is just a matter of surviving each day without breaking down. Yes, I wish I could be feeling “higher consciousness” (whatever that means), but right now, I do not. Just a shitty post…

“The desire for more positive experience is itself a negative experience. And, paradoxically, the acceptance of one’s negative experience is itself a positive experience.” - Mark Manson (Author of The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck)

Simple Yet Effective Insight So check this out: Nature never stops, right? So basically you gotta do the same, but please hold zero tension in your body. Sometimes I am doing something, and I completely let my lower-self dominate me. It is like I am a little slave of a little spoiled child, which is myself. But… I am slowly beginning to understand that our society has got it completely backwards how to live life well. It ain’t about perfection. It is about being natural. For example, the people with the best voices have a NATURAL voice. On the other hand, people who force their voice too much is unpleasant to hear. Why? Because they are making too damn much effort. The thing is: I am fucking tired of editing the shit out of my life. Thinking about every single thing I say, getting paranoid about my health, taking unnecessary action, and so on. Instead, I want to become a force of Nature once again, like I was when I was a kid. This feels so nice, as opposed to braw beating myself over and over for not being perfect. Dude, remember: Stop giving this responsibility to others. They are a huge pile of horseshit, when it comes to giving an opinion about yourself. The only thing they can see are projections. Remember? There is no world outside of you. That’s what Leo can’t stop emphasize in every single video of his. So… are you gonna take the real route or the imaginary one? Cause, seriously, everything happens inside of you. And the strangest thing is that very few people self-reflect just a tiny bit to grasp that they are the causing of their own suffering and their own happiness. Well, I am already judging myself harshly for writing this text. “You have incorrect posture.” , “You are tensing your body too much.”, “You are going to feel bad afterwards” etc etc etc, all of which are self-fulfilling prophecies. But what @soulbass has made me understand is that: we create our own antidotes and our own poisons. The only thing necessary for us is to resignify. For example, I am home alone on a Saturday, while my mind comes with all sorts of things I “should” be doing (FUCK SHOULD STATEMENTS, BTW!): You gotta go see a friend. You shouldn’t be staying alone for so much time. Basically, all of these are my version of being a parent. Exactly! It is a new version of my mom and dad. Dude, that is so fucked up to realize that. BOOM! Well, I have completely overwritten here. The thing I wrote on the actual paper I wrote the insight is: Hope all of you are trusting the Path. Peace out !

Results… 21-day Challenge Setting An Intention for the Day So, I decided to try this out. I have been real big on intention lately, and this little challenge seemed to fit perfectly. So here it was: set an intention for my day before getting up from bed. This way, I would not overthink about the intention, and it would also be pleasant. The results were very positive. I have realized how important it is to set clear intentions. Btw, I also wrote a reminder on my body so that I would totally forget about the intention during the day. The really cool thing about doing this is that whenever I feel lost during my day (and that happens quite frequently), all I would have to do is think back to my intention to ground myself again. And lemme tell you, it works. Intention is like a thesis for my day. And I have also been working with long-term intention (e.g., life purpose) and medium term (monthly) intention. It has been transforming my life for the better. It gives me a sense of direction. Anyway, I am already thinking about my next challenge. Some ideas include repeating out-loud my “goals” for the year (I have come up with a 100-item list). The only problem with this is that it is going to take long. But I could try it. I mean, it will be like 5 minutes, but I want to do it not as a chore, but as something that I genuinely want to do. Another idea is to repeat out loud a post that I simply loved that I saw here on the forum. The guy was so inspired when he wrote that, and it has been helping me cope with depression without getting neurotic about fixing it. I will probably think about what challenge to do tomorrow. Btw, I have also set my intention for the year. It is quite an enigma actually hahaha. Here it is: playful root. To explain it: Stay connected with my roots, while being playful in the world. Kinda too complex, tbh, but… that is what came up after a 25-minute contemplation. Thanks for reading

This was in 2015. It was life-changing. Not only did I find a great community of friends there; I also learned how to live life. After all, yoga is sorta like a lifestyle. 1- Your Breath is Your Gauge Here is the thing: if you do not have control of your breath, you are probably doing too much. Gotta slow down. Take child's pose and FUCKING REST. However, you gotta still be in control of your breath. You do not lose it. Like when you are resting in child's pose, the breathwork continues. 2- Growth is Not Always Pleasant But here's the thing: brute force will not get you any closer to growing yourself. At least in yoga. Softness is the new strong, as a teacher of mine once said. I see a lot of people in yoga who are COMPLETELY neurotic. It's like so "goal-oriented": I GOTTA DO THIS POSE... However...... 3- Yoga is not about poses We get stuck in form... in the materialistic mindset (as Leo always says)... but that's not what life is supposed to be about. It's like the pose "Crow". A lot of people desesperately wants to take their feet off the floor, but they end up fucking their wrists because of that hahaha... great job, Ego! HAahahaha... 4- Are you feeling energized? If not, CHILD's POSE! So... continue talking about the fact that people are neurotic... Here is one good question to ask yourself in any situation you are in: Is this a good or a bad discomfort? In yoga: Good discomfort: Muscle discomfort Bad discomfort: Joints Good discomfort grows you. It is no use going to a super-advanced and vigorous yoga class if you haven't got the basics down. 5- Correct Effort A teacher of mine used to say: For this class, set the intention of "using as little effort as you can." Because one of the things I found in yoga was how much I use muscles that are simply not needed. Haha... It is like I am working on my hip rotator, but I am also frowning my face. This same teacher used to say: When you are practicing yoga, your face should like as if you were sunbathing in a beach in Brazil. Hahahaha... So... quit that frowny face. As Leo puts it, when you are meditating, your face should look like a baby, without any tension whatsoever. The really bad that happened to me was that I got so passionate about yoga that I took it to the hardcore levels and ended up falling on my ass (a.ka., backsliding). Seriously... in January 2016, I was in one of my most lucid periods of my life in which I was TRULY appreciating the present-fucking-moment. However... BOOM! I crashed into a HUGE depression and psychotic episode. My life turned upside down... I went from heaven to hell. And I attribute this ego backlash to my own neurosis of "having to feel good all the time." Guys, you probably will not believe in me, but yoga can be better than sex. I feel more connected to the people that I practice yoga with than sometimes in sex. But, anyway, the backsliding was necessary... I needed to go back to my homecountry, solve some DEEP-ASS family and psychological problems, and educate myself more on psychological principles (for example: I would have not found actualized.org if I was feeling super-good all the time... that depression was needed to actually find more Knowledge) Now... I feel pretty good actually... because I got tools... :):):)