ajasatya

very intimately in my heart, i do pray for all of us. i want us all to be free of suffering and responsible for a better world. feel it all. find and feel the very source of your pain in your body. the thought is just an illusory statement. the emotion is physical and real. be with the emotions and let go of thoughts.

you're fantasizing fairy tales. "nobody" has that perfect life that you imagine. even those who seem to have it all are craving for something they don't have. do the research by yourself. get close to someone and investigate his/her sufferings. ask them directly. unless he/she is enlightened, he/she'll be craving for something. and enlightened people are extremely rare. if you want to envy someone, envy enlightened beings and work towards becoming enlightened as well by dropping the entire game of cyclic cravings and attachments altogether.

@Berto97 my life purpose is to heal this planet by planting forests and inspire people around me to become healthy by aligning their lives with the life and health of this planet.

is it something like "fully and increasingly experience the awe of Being"?

@Leo Gura true, but it's a kind of understanding when i try to explain it. words come and go as i struggle. and the embodiment would be a complete acceptance of my ignorance and failure, which is something i've been working on for a few months. basically, i'm feeling impelled to stay away from attempts to rationalize existence. and my daily experience of reality is slowly becoming more and more filled with Silence. i see clearly how complete acceptance is something for very very very few people.

hey i wanna share something with you. yesterday i had an incredibly deep mystical experience with ayahuasca in which i felt the Absolute say through my gut "I DON'T KNOW. I SIMPLY AM". then i really understood that there's no why. there's no ultimate oracle. we, as ignorant beings, are the Universe itself being ignorant about its reasons to be. this body typing these words right now is a legitimately mysterious piece of beauty of Reality. and it can't be explained. i can't know. i simply am.

@BobbyLowell yes, but you have to have a clear and lucid vision of what it means to be confident. if you think of confidence as a quality that makes you better than others, then you'll be working against the expansion of consciousness. if you notice a sense of competition, let go of it instantly! healthy confidence is about enjoying being who you are for no special reason other than simply being. healthy confidence is about finding peace without the need of low conscious experiences, because a confident person recognizes his/her integrity. important: you're already complete, but you may hold some deep belief that you are incomplete. i'm saying this because it's important that you ask yourself what you ACTUALLY NEED FOR REAL.

@BobbyLowell if you want to think separately, focus on one weakness at a time. soon enough you'll find out (feel) that true confidence and authenticity comes from your ability to love and be truly compassionate. if you're able to open your heart, be sincere and experience love, there's really nothing to fear.

@BobbyLowell do it more often. 2~3 times in a day.

do what you've been doing for 1 month straight. don't skip a single day.

no. solitary walks are means for you to get used to being in your own presence without creating suffering out of nowhere just because of thoughts. solitary walks are means to get in touch with feelings that have been begging to be felt for years, decades. once you feel them very deeply with the power of awareness, they'll vanish and you'll grow. enlightenment is the end of optional suffering. the suffering you're feeling right now is optional in the sense that it's created by the mind. it's not something imposed upon you like a painful disease. you're simply unable to deal with the mind apparatus right now. by doing practices like this, you won't be numbing your suffering. you'll be studying what causes it. and as you study what causes it, you can train yourself to let go of what causes your suffering. you've already noticed that you keep comparing yourself with others and because of that you suffer immensely. so, from now on, everytime you notice the voice comparing yourself with others, don't simply assume it's true. be mindful of it and return to ground zero, which is your breath. practice coming back to ground zero until you perfect living on ground zero. no past, no future, no others. only breath.

beware. human beings are very good at hiding suffering. and so are you! you feel brave enough on this forum because you can hide behind an online avatar and nobody will ever know who you are. your mind goes like this: "i am so ashamed of behaving like a loser". such a deep misconception! those who are willing to explore their misery and reach its root cause are actually the highest heroes on earth. money? power? pussy? pffff go deeper and experience your pain. stop running away from it. expose yourself to it. open your heart. the image of jesus christ with a open heart is very symbolic. do more of what @jjer94 said. go out again. experience your loneliness and transform it into blissful solitude. that's what eckhart tolle did. you think you're in a miserable situation but you're actually on the path to find divinity. when you go out for a walk and notice yourself comparing yourself to others, remember that those statements are merely thoughts without any inherent truth in them. you could either say "the sky is red" or "they're happier than me". why'd you believe it? observe the thought and then come back to your breathing gently. walk with your breathing. make friends with it.

@Elephant pay close attention to what i'm about to say. read it over and over until it clicks: you can read as many books you want. you can read as many trip reports you want. but it's a waste of time if you're no able to dismantle your defensive barriers. right now, what you're experiencing is fear. the reason doesn't matter. so, if you feed your emotional barriers, you will struggle VERY HARD during the psychedelic experience and you won't be able to learn/grow as much. what i really recommend is some relaxation practice. this is the word: practice. do the job of practicing mindfulness and accepting the present moment as it is. lie down and practice yoga nidra. use some youtube video to guide you through a deep meditation section. you need to train the attitude of letting go so you can be able to take a good look at what will be shown to you during the trip. i can't know the dangers of you taking it alone. only you can.

after every peak of experience, reset yourself back to neutral and let it go for good. because in fact it's already gone.

yes! it was/is one of the best choices i've ever made in my life. and i've made some pretty damn good choices already.

@Fuse wanna know something i found out? the most enlightened people i've ever met have a REALLY DARK past. you think you've done horrible things? hah! welcome! i started to notice this pattern when i shaved my head to live as a monk. the bald buddhas have the craziest stories. wanna know something more? 99.999999% of the human beings have that evil self-sabotaging voice talking in their heads. they just aren't in touch with it, but it's there, corrupting every moment of their lives. your situation is not worse. it's actually better because you have the chance to do something about it, specially because you're so young. most people don't notice it and simply live up discontent lives for 70~80~90 years. you think they live well but if you get closer and ask them how they feel intimately, they will start talking about how trashy their lives are. experiment it yourself if you want and you'll see.

i think this question was indirectly addressed to me i drink ayahuasca 2~3 times in a month. i'm part of a society of shamans. we even brew ayahuasca together, which is an INCREDIBLE experience. my relationship with ayahuasca is strongly friendly. it's a society that welcomes and nourishes families, so i go with my fiancée and with my future children. children are allowed to drink very little dosages of ayahuasca, if they want of course. they grow up very integrated with nature. they become tender, loving, caring, responsible and healthy adults. we've seen entire generations grow up with us and the result is simply beautiful. when i see those grown up human beings who were raised in a context permeated with ayahuasca, i get very inspired with our potential to love and share. i feel very motivated to practice love and to have a beautiful family. i feel motivated to work and to be able to afford a cosy home filled with healthy food. i feel motivated to continue practicing yoga and become younger everyday. i feel motivated because i see how humanity can live in awe with existence and because i can actually work and contribute with that future. there's a LOT of work that needs to be done. it's already happening.

dude, this is one of the greatest things on earth. it's delicious and healthy. it's my favorite drink of all times. soon enough, i'll be able to produce my own almond milk, so i'll be drinking sugarless almond milk!

that's what i did. it feels AMAZING. fuck inflammations.

Truth is obvious. it's just that we, human beings, are capable of contemplating it. imagine yourself in a parallel world in which everyone is made out of gold. it would be so normal that nobody would notice. it wouldn't even matter. but then you look at yourself and you realize that you're made out of gold, just like everyone is. everyone is a gold-brother-sister. it wouldn't make gold more valuable, but the feeling of realizing this golden unity would be amazing. here it works the same way, but you're made out of Life instead. we're all Life-brothers-sisters.

fly, free bird! and worry not. this forum is just another responsibility that i chose consciously. in "real life" i teach zen and yoga as well. from the heart

this is an upside-down view of the practice. if you're allowing the energy quality of socio-cultural interactions throughout the day affect the quality of your practice, you're not doing it properly. the proper practice of meditation is accomplished by letting go of all avatars, social roles and cultural traits. it's dropping what you are NOT and experiencing what you ARE. so it works the other way around: the quality of the mindful state enhances the energy levels of the rest of the day.

@BobbyLowell if you work really really hard (24/7 mindfulness of thoughts) you might be healed in 2~3 weeks. it takes a lot of practice to embody detachment from thoughts. be aware of the victim attitude. it's triggered by thoughts! take a deep breath and reset yourself to neutral.

@BobbyLowell don't identify with the judgments. observe the volition to judge. watch it until it vanishes. do it while you feel your breath. there is no quick fix. it might take years.

it can't be spoken. it can't even be thought or grasped. but its relationship to you is the most intimate thing ever. you have to do the job by yourself. sit down and dive in your ignorance about yourself. let it take care of you. surrender completely. let go of all mental concepts about Reality or about you. no belief is true. let the unknown sink in your being and perceive the silence intrinsic to every moment. it's there. it's always available. you just need to practice the silent mind. your breath is your highest ally.