Scholar

Do you really think UBI could be dismantled? I feel like it would be so difficult to just take away 1000$ from all US citizen especially when they get used to it. Infact, I feel like even if it was harmful overall there might be a risk of not being able to pull it back because of how much backlash it would cause from the population. People would structure their life around the increase in income, so simply "dismantling" it would disrupt literally the life of pretty much all americans for whom it would make a signficant difference. I don't know much about US politics but I wouldn't dare to pull that away as a politician, or even dare to attempt do so, fearing the overwhelming negative response from the general population. This is in my opinion why UBI is both so promising and so dangerous, because it will be so difficult to pull it back once people have gotten their share of it.

Why wouldn't it?

Don't you think Bernie will only further the divide currently present in the US? Yang is specifically so appealing because he is so outside the box that he could actually manage to reunite the division currently taking place atleast to some extent. Just because Bernie's ideas are more progressive does not mean that the country will actually progress in case of his presidency. Infact, I would be concerned that the very radical nature of his proposals (atleast in the perspective of the US) will lead to an eventual regression due to backlash or simple failure of implementation. Also, Yang is not a single issue candidate. https://www.yang2020.com/policies/ In my view the most important policy he is proposing are the democracy dollars, it might do wonders to fight against the corruption taking place in US politics. I think the Human Centered Capitalism idea he is specifically proposing, with systemic solutions like incentive structure changes, is a much more appealling transition into eventual socialistic societies than what the current paradigm is limited to. Just ask yourself what will happen if Bernie fails his presidency, what that will mean for the progress of the US and conversely mankind.

Reality and life are not meaningless at all, in the same way reality and life is not redless or triangularless. Meaning is a very specific aspect of Isness, reality/life are full of it. No thing in reality carries another thing within. Sex for example does not contain meaning intrinsically. And obviously meaning does not contain sex. It would be absurd to say something like "Is meaning sexful?", but that is precisely what you are doing, and interestingly also what Leo is doing. He can only say "Life is meaningless", because he is trapped in that game. If he recognized meaning as itself, he would see it exists and is real and is part of Isness as anything else is. Experience is not meaningless, rather meaning is a very particular experience. This whole game you are playing, which you are not conscious of, leads you to the nihilism you are experiencing. You are not observing meaning, but rather you are observing the relationship between meaning and other aspects of experience which you have created. Now that you see that relationship is arbitrary, you might lose the experience of meaning. You can however experience meaning on it's own, as it is it's own experience, it's own dimension of Isness. You do not require anything to be meaningful for you to dwell and enjoy Meaning. Rather than looking at experiences and looking at them as if they are meaningful or meangingless, look at experiences and realize whether the experience of meaning accompanies them or not. Meaning is more like a friend that comes along with other experiences, and you have confused that friend to be part of the other experiences. It's a shock to you that Meaning is not part of the other experiences, leading you to currently reject Meaning. Poor little Meaning is utterly confused at how easily you discriminate against it, simply because you did not see how it was walking with, instead of being part of, other experiences. You should welcome Meaning back, you have to accept it on it's own. This is like your girlfriend changing her clothes and you freaking out because you thought the clothes were part of her.

lol, there is no good explanation other than magic. What Leo calls perception includes everything you consider non-perception, that is the entire point. It does not exclude anything. Perception is another word for Isness, and because most of Isness we already call Perception, the mind has chosen to simply frame it within that already present story.

You will know why when you are getting raped, tortured and killed with no understanding of self-realization at all. There is nothing wrong with stopping to breath, go ahead and see what happens if you do.

Reality is absurd, it is impossible. Everything that seems common, logical, obvious and mundane is magical. It is in Essence impossible and the Veil of Possibility is precisely what allows that Realness to uphold itself. To the degree that magic is seen, to the degree the common becomes the precious, the logical becomes the paradoxical, the obvious becomes the mysterious and the mundane becomes sacred is the degree to which this Realness will dissolve. The Realness of Isness is founded upon the thin Veil which obscures it's impossibility and magic. Unveiling the Veil of Reality is equivalent to unveiling reality itself. When the magic trick, so to speak, is truly seen for what it is, it cannot sustain itself. It is sustained by the very fact that it is not recognized as a magic trick. The greatest magic trick is to hide the Impossible in the Veil of Possibility. It is, for example, to take utter and pure Magic and call it e=mc², as if e=mc² in any way reduced the impossibility and presence of that magic. The mind, by giving it name, can justify it's presence. This is what Illusion is. The Veil of Isness, the Veil which makes the precious common, which makes the paradoxical logical, which makes the mysterious obvious, which makes the sacred mundane. That Veil is what allows it to Be. Abandoning the Veil is abandoning Reality. Remember what Reality was before you were born. There was no logic, there was no physical, there was no name. Growing older, that which Is became less and less mysterious to you. It became less and less like a Fairy Tale. More and more everything was explained and understood. This is not by accident, this is one way in which Reality is manfesting itself. It is by essence manifesting itself through the Faith in it's Possibility. A Faith not merely on an intellectual or emotional level, but on the level of Being. A Faith prior to language and identity. Consciousness is Realness, Consciousness is magic Through sentience there is Physicality, Worldness, Self and Other. It is pure magic disguising itself as Self-evidency. Mind is the Veil of Isness, abandon the Veil of Possibility and No-Mind will follow. Adandon the Veil of Isness by seeing the preciousness in the common, paradox in logic, mystery in the obvious and sacredness in the mundane. To see Magic in all Fascets of Reality. To see the Impossibility in Redness.

A window on which water flows. Water of all colors, including translucent water. Each of the infinite possible colors act and effect their surrounding colors in different ways. Some expand their own color, some dissolve other color, some mix and some create new colors. And some colors interacting create translucent water. The translucent water is Awakening. All other colors are everything else. You, the world, meditation, yoga, psychedelics. All are merely different colors on the Divine Window. The absence of color, the translucency of water, reveals the window beneath, the colorless color beneath. The color which has no form and no name, the color which has no color. Meditation is one color, psychedelics are one color, yoga is one color, death is one color. All that is is water colored in a different way, yet some water creates translucency, some water reveal translucency, it reveals the window beneath, that which is beneath the window. In essence it takes the absence of color for that which is beneath water to be revealed. Yet the window is beneath all colors, that which is beneath the window is beneath all window and all color. In the end, the water, the window and that beneath window is all revealed to be one. Within the window there is all color, within that which is beneath window is all color, within color there is window and that which is beneath window. The transclucency of water will reveal that the window is water, that which is beneath window is water. It reveals that within translucency there are all colors and that within all colors there is translucency. When you eat mushroom, mushroom is color and color changes other color, it might even change color into translucency. All that is is colored water. There is no fundamental difference between the Isness of death, mushroom, meditation. The Isness dances and plays around with itself, it vibrates and swims. When Isness plays, sometimes it becomes so thin that the Glowing Void within is revealed. Reality is obviously not physical, because it is magical. Physical it is only to the degree magic allows it to be.

Cognitive Functioning of Long-term Heavy Cannabis Users Seeking Treatment https://jamanetwork.com/journals/jama/fullarticle/194703 Cannabis Use and Cerebrovascular Disease https://journals.lww.com/theneurologist/Abstract/2004/01000/Cannabis_Use_and_Cerebrovascular_Disease.5.aspx Brain Morphological Changes and Early Marijuana Use https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1300/J069v19n01_01#.Ugll81MmzUV Cannabis use and progressive cortical thickness loss in areas rich in CB1 receptors during the first five years of schizophrenia https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0924977X10001860 There is a huge bias around Cannabis use and it's harmlessness, despite evidence showing quite the opposite especially in heavy and younger users. You should basically stay away from it until you reach 25 years/your brain is fully developed and even after that do not use it on a too regular basis.

Get a healthy diet, regular excercise and avoid overconsumption of porn is generally something that can always be recommended. And obviously stop multitasking.

I found that watching criminal interrogations to be a great way of studying ego dynamics, especially because it is a high stake environment in which the ego is basically pushed to it's limits. Jim Can't Swim is a great ressource for that with some valuable psychological nuggets. The interrogators use the ego's mechanisms to manipulate it into acting against it's own interest.

Within all there is true Love. Imagine it as a flame which exists in the soul of all beings. Within some it is greater than others, one flame burns stronger than the other. For the seeker, all there must be done is to find that flame no matter how weakly it burns. It is present, it does not need to be created, it really does not even need to be found. It only needs to be seen, it needs to be filled with presence. Presence will make it grow all on it's own. For the one whose flame is already bright, all there must be done is giving that flame presence whilst giving presence to all other aspects of experience. This was the work of Christ, he was masterful at giving presence to love whilst giving presence to the poor, the weak, the undesirable. When the presence is connecting love to other, it's flame will be kindled with the strength of your own flame. The mastery of this work is found in the ability to give presence to love and undesirability at the same time. The diseased, the ugly, the hateful, the dangerous. God has perfect mastery over this, he already is giving presence to all aspects of realness. He is already completely loving towards the hateful, the egoic, the undesirable. The son of God is the son who reflects this mastery, but all being is inherently reflecting this mastery. The flame of the son of God burns so brightly it will kindle the fire of thousands or millions of beings, like a wave of fire burning through the fabric of time and space. A wave so strong it would leave marks in the fabric of reality itself, a wave so strong entire civilizations would be build upon it. God's flame is so strong that all of existence is build upon it. Existence is the infinite flame, the endless fire.

Some of the things that I have done in the past few years that helped me: realizing that everyone is impermanent and will die, what people think of you is therefore irrelevant Slowly challenging yourself to be more and more confronting Somehow realizing that you care about your own life more than about the opinions others have Ego deconstruction work in general, meaning meditation, contemplation, expanding your consumption of stage orange content This will be a long term project, expect it to take a months and even a few years unless you would be focusing a lot on this particular issue. I have been working on this on the side as it is not really a priority of mine. One thing that will help is having something that you care about a lot and that you would put infront of the opinion of others. For me veganism was great for this because it kind of forces you to argue it. When you think about the animals and what they go through, and sitting around people who eat meat who then dare to criticize you for being vegan, that will give you a lot of opportunity to confront them while having the suffering of the animals in the back of your mind. Standing up for someone else who is exploited to me was much easier than standing up for myself, and that way you can eventually learn to stand up for yourself. For me consumption of stage orange/confrontational stuff was really important. You want to integrate these aspects of stage orange even if you have to consume low consciousness stuff. Two things in particular helped me: Listening to Destiny, here is his channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC554eY5jNUfDq3yDOJYirOQ He does not give a shit what people think of him so there is much to learn from him in this regard. He has some very admirable traits but also some low consciousness stuff that will probably be obvious to you so not much of a problem. Watching these from time to time: https://www.youtube.com/user/VitalyzdTv/ Vitaly is someone who pranks people and it's rather low consciousness, but it gets the job done. He is very good at being playful with how he interacts with people so there is a lot to learn in that regard from him. You can start framing confrontations more like playful interactions instead of ego powerplays. If these don't work out for you find some other stuff that is going to work for you. Maybe even watch some stage orange movies and try to embrace and put yourself into the shoes of some of the more confrontational characters.

Criticizing china in this way is very similar to criticizing a developing child for it's lack of attention or it's inability to be disciplined, or even for it's lack of intelligence. Every country in which freedom is valued had to go through the aspects you are describing as problematic in china. Was the gain of freedom you and all of us are celebrating now worth the slavery and suffering of the generations which lived through robber-baron capitalism and the like? In 100 years noone will bat an eye whether china cared about the health of it's citizen 100 years ago. In 100 years people will celebrate the freedoms and riches they have gained from the exploitation of previous generations. Don't forget that China has been around for thousands of years, they intend to stay around for much longer.

@Synchronicity I will try to stay away from that for now, I want to keep this away from the path others have already created. I don't want there to be expectations. @Serotoninluv I will see if these aspects will manifest themselves, but I don't have desire to seek anything specific. I want it to naturally flow, the more expectations I will have towards what is to come, the less authentic the seeking and exploring will be to me. To me what's more valuable are questions, rather than answers. A question that will resonate with me will do so much more than explaining to me what there will happening in the future. I tried to listen to Leo's 30 Aspects of enlightenment, but I found myself to resist it because it is like telling me about the ending of a movie. What if knowing the ending of the movie will make me change the movie itself? What if telling me the ending of the movie will make me stop watching the movie? @MAYA EL I don't know, I don't even know if I can tell anyone about Redness. I have noticed that my experience in general is "brighter" than it has been before. It is difficult to explain, but previously a lot of my experience had an underlying darkness in the quite literal sense. The space in which visual things are imagined seems to be brighter than it previously was. I did not notice it but before it was quite dark compared to now. The space I am talking about is the space in which you close your eyes and see vague imagined things, that strang space between the visual space and the "beyond" space. I have also noticed that when I think about the path of others my mind seems to have a much easier time putting oneself into that experience and what it entailed. I am rather introverted and for example hate doing things like dancing. Previously I could not even imagine what it would be like to have fun dancing, now my mind is able to imagine it in a way which would be wonderful. A way in which I would let go of all worries and just start dancing, the imagination involves joy, previously it would only involve fear. When I was visiting a hotel I realized that it wasn't at all so distant to actually create a hotel oneself. I got a sense in which it is a very human, grounded thing to create a business, to go through all the experiences and have that kind of ambition. It doesn't feel "official" anymore, if that makes sense? Authority seems to be dissolving, everything in society is basically just human beings trying to figure it out and doing what they can. Society and what it entails seems more personal and less like a cold construction. It feels more like a tree house than anything else. As far as my art goes I have noticed that I can connect far better to the essence of visuals. Despite being a visual artist I was rather visually uncreative previously, as I did not use the power of visualization to the extend which I have discovered to do now. Visualization is an aspect that one has very little control of. For example, if I want to visualize a crocodile and close my eyes, I cannot control what picture will pop into my mind. Infact the harder I try the less likely it will be that I see anything. If I let go and just let it happen, if I loosen up into the visualization process, I can experience quite vivid pictures, to a degree that it almost seems to resemble a kind of cheapish photographic memory, without being able to choose what memory will be retrieved. It is a little like I had access to the same process that is there when dreaming, I am very happy about that, and I am sure it's a skill that needs to be developed. In general I have experienced more carelessness, greater open-mindedness and much less ego attachment to everything. It actually is quite surprising to me, it does not really feel deserved. I seems like I did not do enough hard work to have "attained" what I have attained. There is a sense of slow creeping of lightness that is somehow being upheld. A previously very delicate process during meditation which could easily have been disturbed seems to be effortless now, like something happening in the background. I don't worry about it at all. There is a sense of the cold ground upon which I stood fading and I can see the colorful depth beneath. I would say all of this is very contrary to my expectations, which is why I do not care anymore to construct new expectations. I don't want to hear about the enlightenment process anymore, I don't care about what is going to happen. The sense of childhood mystery, in which the world was unexplained and needed to be explored, is coming back into my experience.

I find myself getting more and more alienated from a lot of the spiritual concepts that I have been ingrained with in the past few years. The more I do this work, the less I find these concepts to be truthful and attractive. For example, these concepts do not make sense to me anymore: Mind Consciousness Imagination Meditation Subjectivity Enlightenment Increasing Consciousness Unconditional Love "In silence you will find Truth" Strong determination sitting Liberation Ego Truth Absolute A lot of the language Leo is using does not resonate with me anymore, and I actually loved it not that long ago. Actually I find that a lot of spiritual talking to me is kind of weirdly delusional. It feels pretentious, it feels sheepish. It feels so uncreative and stale. When I listen to Alan Watts for example I feel like there is this playfulness which lacks in a lot of other teachings. I have a desire to explore celebration, activity, swimming, whirling, playing (in the metaphysical sense, not hobbies). I would love to see some Viking ceremonies, or some Shamanic dances. An embrace of fluidity and playfulness. I want magicalness, I want wonder and awe. There is a sense of fairytale-ness. I think I want Groundlessness. I want movement that is motionless, not motionless movement. I want Joke, Play instead of Truth, Absolute. Maybe all this feels like restriction and I find myself to embrace freedom. Instead of "Sit down and meditate" I see results in "Listen to music and contemplate until contemplation falls apart". Results in Flow rather than Stillness. Expanding into Being, giving being Presence instead of observation, seeing truth, etc. There is this sense of ridiculousness coming, a Trickster who laughs at the seriousness of Zen Monks, who laughs at the concepts of Leo, who laughs at itself. I don't know how else to describe it, it does not seem egoic, it does not seem attached or survivalistic. Rather it feels the opposite of that. It's like it cannot denie magic, and thus it cannot take any of this too seriously. It also has a sense of Love and Acceptance. It seeks active compassion, it seeks art and creativity. Previously when I looked at "enlightenment" I saw darkness, I saw stillness, I saw detachment. "Nothingness". Now it looks colorful, it looks impossible, it looks like a fairy-tale. It feels tumultuous, waves of endless color and feeling crashing against each other. It feels like a huge orchestra of magic, it feels like taking you by the hand and swirling you around. It is laughing, it is crying, it is alive. It looks at Leo's castle of non-duality and wants to swoop it away with a tsunami of creativity and playfulness. This is the path that I see, and I think Leo's talk of Love has helped me see it more clearly. But I feel like Leo got there in a different way, the path he took does not seem to be the path that seems attractive to me, but I think the change in direction he has taen is what I really like. But the foundation upon which his castle is build feels serious, and despite him putting the cream of Love and passion on top of it now, the foundation seems to still remain, if that makes sense? I will obviously still find use in all of the content Leo produces, but I don't know if I can be a "follower" anymore, in the sense that I don't know if I don't want to create my own path, using Leo's videos as an addition instead of a main diet. I don't want any diet that comes from someone else anymore. I want to create my own diet. I want to explore myself even if I am not utterly successful. This very attitude of being so serious about this pathway seem unattractive to me. It seems to suck the joy and curiousity out of this path. I want to feel fairytale-ness, magic, compassion, playfulness not "industrial grade enlightenment practice". Does anyone know what I mean? To me it feels like there is a very ingrained bias of a certain way of looking at all this that is very present in the general culture of spiritualism. This bias seems to become more and more apparent to me, and I start seeing it everywhere. I want to explore a different perspective, or rather what I have explored does not seem entirely compatible with this current bias.

A great example of how simpler egoic consciousness mechanisms create and spawn more complex egoic consciousness mechanisms. The same dynamic can be observed in humans - human civilizations. I find this example of ants very good because it simplifies it and removes it from the context in which we are involved. Antness is within colonyness, but colonyness is also within antness. It is also amazing to realize that to the ant, humans are utterly irrelevant. To the ant, human beings do not even exist. To the ant all there is is antness. The ants world is the ant. This is true for most of mankind, too. Human sees the world through humanness, everything to in the world is viewed as it's relationship to humanness. The human is as blind as the ant, because the human is only human, and the ant is only ant. We walk the same planet, yet both ant and human live in radically different worlds. There is ant-world and there is human-world, despite them being the same world. To the human, the bed infested with bed-bugs is "problem", it is "get rid of", "kill", "disgusting". To the bed-bugs it is "food", "shelter", "life", "home". To the ant the humans foot stepping on it's home is "disaster", "catastrophy", "death", "suffering". To the human it is "hiking", "exploring nature", "beauty", "exercises", "fresh air". For the human to see the world of the ant, the human must create a relationship to the ant and to the world of the ant. The relationship is the only way for the human to see. Understanding is inherently a process of relationship, of connection. In the political context this is very important, it teaches us that we can only make people care about a matter if it is in relationship to themselves. Only through the relationship, only through the connection, can there even be the beginning of understanding. In other words, to transform society into caring about love, we must create a connection to love, a relationship to love. We must create an environment which allows for the expansion of identity, for the expansion of desire. The ego's purpose is to contract when in danger and expand in peace. When Christ gave love to his followers, they for the first time were filled with true love. True love allowed them to share their love, because only when one is filled with love one can give it to the other, the presence of love means the inevitable expansion of love. There is wisdom in Ego that is utterly magical, none of this would be happening in the absence of ego.

Play with it. Use it as fuel for your creativity. Be with it and let it express itself in a way that is healthy. It is a wonderful feeling and it can do wonderful things, you just have to come to get closer to it, to recognize it and give it attention. Have it be part of a creative outlet. If you were a write for example, you could write a story about an influential and powerful person, become to know that person. See the feeling as something to play and interact with instead of something that is taking possession over you. If a dog has to much energy you play with him so that he can get rid of the energy. If you do not, he will find a way to let the energy manifest in other ways. He might use it to chew on your couch. You don't want your urges to do the same to you.

Get this: You love suffering to such an uncomprehensible degree, that you are willing to forget about True Love just so that Suffering can exist. You Love it so much that you are willing to forget your Love for it so that Suffering can exist as pure Suffering. This is how much you Love Suffering. It is beyond comprehension.

Know that you already love yourself so radically and fully that you have accepted to endure the suffering you are currently enduring. You love yourself so much that you are willing to fully embrace all suffering. This is what you are already doing, this is what you have been doing your entire life, it is what all beings have been doing. You Love suffering so much that you have fully accept it, that you are willing to experience it from the most unconscious state, in a state in which suffering is true suffering. You already are accepting of that to the fullest possible degree, you are already fully embracing it. This suffering is the most pure form of Love there is. It is full an utter acceptance. All Isness is full and utter acceptance. There cannot be non-acceptance. Non-acceptance is one aspect of Full Acceptance. You are so accepting of reality that you are willing to experience non-acceptance itself. This is already the case, what you are experiencing right now is the Full Acceptance of Isness. There cannot be any greater form of acceptance. True and radical acceptance is to let Isness be fully itself, letting it be non-accepting. It is so accepting that it accepts the avoidance of suffering, so accepting that it accepts the acceptance of suffering and so accepting that it once more embraces the avoidance of suffering. All of this is already fully accepted, this is the nature of Isness. Isness itself is true and full acceptance, it is True and Absolute Love. Only true eternal suffering is the full acceptance and love of true eternal suffering. Only true Redness is the full acceptance and love of true Redness. The Isness of all of existence already is the full acceptance and love of all of existence. This includes every state of consciousness, the Isness of all states is the acceptance of all states. All there is happening here is the celebration of these different, infinite aspects of realness. This suffering is the celebration of suffering. How else would you celebrate Creation? How else would you celebrate it but by creating it?

Yes, when I use the word "magical" it is usually referring to that. It's where contemplation just fails and there is a "recognition" of the impossibility and irreducability of Isness, but my mind does try to put it into frameworks, I don't really resist that. It's not really this huge mind blowing experience though, it's more like a subtle shifting that has been going on for the past few months. It is hard to put into words, I feel like most of the things aren't really being communicated when I try to explain them.

The experience of the enlightened is filled with love, meaning and joy because there is no construct which keeps the mind from letting these fascets of existence flow into the experience. On the way of the deconstruction of the ego, meaning is lost, namely the experience of meaning ceases to be generated. This is of course because the ego is constructed in a way so as to not find it's own deconstruction meaningful. If it was, it would not be stable. But, once ego is dissolved to a certain extend or even completely, meaning will flow back in an amount that is not limited, creating the illusion or delusion of "enlightenment being meaningful". This is how one could look at it, and it is useful because it keeps us from falling into the typical nihilism, the "everything is meaningless" illusion which actually is just as "untrue" as the "everything is meaningful" illusion. Both don't see meaning as itself, both still conflate and mix different experiences together. But we also must recognize that this mixture of different experiences is actually magical. It is wonderful in a way, because it is what allows us to say "It is wonderful". It is the magic of delusion, or understanding. It gives life an interconnectedness which should be impossible, because it creates "1=2". In that way, it created from 1 and 2 a new Isness, the Isness of "1=2". Notice how "1=2" is neither 1, nor 2. But it is still there. @Serotoninluv It is strange because I have not been meditating as much recently, it seems to however flow very naturally. It kind of motivates me to go back into some longer sessions of meditation. I am not quite sure if this is ego-deconstruction or something else. Recently I have been very accepting of my egoic desires and much less judgemental. For example, I viewed my animal rights desires as unconscious not that long ago, I would say to myself "Someone who was more developed than me would let go of the struggling against the suffering of others, someone who was more conscious was free himself of this suffering", but in a way I have done the opposite. I have accepted myself at where I am, if right now I feel a strong urge to be the unconscious vegan who is angry about animal suffering, than that's what I will accept and follow. I think Leo's explanations of Love have helped me with this, he is right that the "Loving"/"Jesus" path is more appealing and to me seemingly more natural than the Zen buddhist path. But in a weird way I now want to explore the more silent path again to see what I can discover with my new perspective.

Yes, but the existential crisis is tied to how you look at the experience of meaning. This sort of crisis happens when there is a loss of the experience of meaning, suddenly actions seem "bland" because previously the experience of meaning was correlated to these other experiences. This is not necessary, and more importantly it's not a true loss of meaning. You still attribute the negative feeling of meaninglessness (which is not the negation of meaning, but it's own form of meaning) to other experiences. "Oh but why does anything exist?" The question is absurd. "Whyness" is it's own fascet of Isness. "Whyness" is an experience, so to speak. You are again confusing one experience and attempting to seek it in other experiences. It's like looking for sound in the color red. You will not find sound in the color red. In the color red you will only every find redness. Isness just is, "Whyness" and "Meaning" exists within Isness. The irony is that once the ego construct is dissolve, meaning will be created and generated with no limitations. Right now meaning is only created when there is an experience which serves the egos survival. When ego is gone, meaning will be generated with no limitations, because there is no reason not to. This then is confused by meditators to mean that "enlightenment" is meaningful. "Oh look how wonderful it is, this is the most meaningful experience there could possibly be!". But the experience itself is not meaning, only the experience of meaning which accompanies it is meaningful. This confusion even for the most experience meditators is to me astounding, because it implies a deeper unconsciousness of Isness, despite the ego-construct being dissolved.

I don't know why so many experienced meditators fail to see this simple truth. I can only repeat it over and over: Nothing is meaningful but meaning itself. From your framework it would probably be best put as: Meaning is an experience like every other experience there is. Meaning is like pain. Meaning is like color. Meaning is like sound. Meaning is like thought. Meaning is it's own experience. It is either there or it is not. It either is or it is not. To ask "What is the meaning of existence" is literally the same as asking "What is the color of existence?", "What is the sound of existence?", "What is the pain of existence?", "What is the X of existence?". The question is void. It is confusion. There is no color of existence. Rather, there is color in existence. You got rid of the exprience of meaning, that's all. There is no realization of anything, you simply changed your experience. Meaning is as real as anything else could be. It is as much Isness as all else in existence. We just need to recognize it for what it is and stop conflating it with other aspects of realness, or with Isness as a whole.

It is not hideous. Suffering is suffering, not anything else. Maybe hideousness is suffering, but not the other way around. You can find redness, too. Did the Buddha ever say "Life is redness?". Life is everything.