PretentiousHuman

@egoeimai I will try harder. Hehe

@Max_V Congrats to you brother. Im not as successful as you are though. Haha

@Alexo45 You're not alone my friend. We had a lot like going except i have a girlfriend. After I have followed most of Leo's videos way back 2014 if Im correct, I went down being comfortable being alone by myself. I still have the company of my big family and my gf and some close friends but I love being with myself more. Moving forward on self-actualization or enlightenment, I can see the bullshit of the society in the whole spectrum. So I kinda avoid and socialization if possible and be in my daily routine of meditation instead. And I wanna get more in tuned with people doing spirituality like this forum.

@Max_V I have the same case as you have. But as I have been using meditation a lot more, I have been aware more too of those feelings. Feelings usually are, as thoughts, just come and go.

@Max_V MO?

Is it just an egoic game like our statuses here in this forum?

@Buba Yes, I think we can masturbate all we want and there's no problem with that. What Im getting at is transcending my physical desires, the instinct that you want to give pleasure to your "self",body, ego, etc, whatever you want to call it, whenever your lonely, hurt of "fill the void". I think if you can just sit and just be aware that this is happening to you consciousness, is when we can taste a glimpse of enlightenment.

@Buba For me, Im depending on fap whenever Im lonely, depressed, wanted some stimulation, etc. It isn't actually bad. Its just a distraction for awareness I guess.

@Joseph Maynor You nailed it.

@Joseph Maynor Very deep. But please elaborate.

@YaNanNallari Awareness practices is what makes me get out of fap. Like meditation and journaling.

@pluto Yes, that's when I fap too. Is to get pleasure or remove any negative emotions. When I get into more of awareness practices, like meditation or journaling, I kinda separate myself into those cravings. Im on my 5 days no fap now, and there were no feelings of wanting yet.

@Marco_the_Ape Yes man, I have already on my 5 days no masturbation challenge. I think I reason I fap is when Im lonely, or any negative feelings. Meditation and journaling helps, really.

@elias So is it about the ego feeding on it? If it's about me? Because there is no me on enlightenment , right?

When I become aware of my problems, and mindfully thought of them as problems, and awareness comes in, all of my so-called problems dissolve and once again I get in the present moment and just let the situation be. I just do whatever I can on that moment and move on with my life. But this doesn't usually occur in my life as I, most of the time, succumb to everydays pressure.

@Prabhaker I appreciate all of what you have taught me. I will apply these things. Thank you!

I just wanted to get better. That's all. I am a nurse. I wanted to master my career. I wanted to finish reading my Maternal and child nursing book. My goal is to read for more than 1 hour a day of this book. Not only to get information of it but also to apply it in my work at our hospital. I have a Crohn's disease. Which means that my intestine is always inflamed. I'm trying that "no sugar", "no grains" diet. But is having difficulty to follow it because these foods are the only available in our food table. I want to run again. I stopped running since I went back working as a nurse because I need to sleep more on my off duties to recuperate from my work days. That's all I can think of now. I want to update my journal daily. Hope I can follow up on it regularly. Yays!

Day 7. . . Seeing everything through. It was a tiring day. Never had the chance to read during my 11-7 shift today. I concentrated to what is important at that moment. I know that we have to focus at the now to be able to be happy completely. Thankful to have the No sugar, No grains diet because it is working perfectly with me . Though the Mangosteen coffee seems to fit in for my stomach, I still have bouts of diarrhea. Hence, I will exclude coffee completely into my diet. I love my disciple and I know this will take me to places. Time to finish some unfinished business! Hoorah!

Day 6. . .Well rested. I just slept 9 hours and it feels great for me. I needed this kind of rest because I'm working at night. Time for another day for me. Thanks to Mangosteen and turmeric for making my Crohn's disease in control. I'll be sticking to my No sugar, no grain diet. I'll be reading my books while on work if not busy. Looking forward for a great day! Hoorah!!!

Day 6. . . Better days are coming. I just went home from my 11-7 duty. It was a usual day for me as a nurse. Making people better. The highlight of my duty was the Mangosteen water that I prepared prior to my duty. It was great because it help me control my diarrhea, abdominal pain, and cramps I will surely continue to use it because of its benefits. Together with my No sugar, No grains diet. Let's do this! Hoorah!!!

Day 5. . . Busy day. A lot of things happened this day. I helped people Went to my gf. But I still focused on improving my health. Eating healthy foods. Hoorah!

@egoeimai Yes. Thank you! And I think healthy diet will also come along with a better self-actualization like Leo told in his recent video. Kudos to us. hehe

Day 4. . . Feeling accomplished. I just finished my duty. I've done my best. Though sometimes I can see my self get rattled, whenever my patient get in serious condition. I need to get more awareness, consciousness work to get this over with. And I need to be educated more about nursing so that every patients I will encounter would be easy to be dealt with. I need more sleep if I want to be more efficient. Plus my luck of sleep give me some pimples and its not fun. Haha. I will include in my research on better sleeping. I started already my No sugar, No grain diet and it has done me a lot of benefits so far. Had lesser diarrhea, lesser stomachache. Tomorrow, I will start my 4 day 11-7 duty.

Day 4. . . Duty for 3 pm to 11pm. Woke up 10 am after 7 hours of sleep and I was very conscious of it for my rest nowadays. My never had any stomachache that I typically have. Thanks to turmeric and mangosteen. I will be running some errands later so I will be going to work earlier. Will do some reading and my daily meditation now so until next time. Hoorah!

How does Ego get nastier when you get some likes on facebook, get validation from your crush, boss and people you want to please, when you get the things you wanted the most and anything you think will make you happy or satisfied? Is this a bad thing? I'm confused. What are the things that you can do to escape this kind of trap. Thanks!!!