Ry4n

@Wormon Blatburm Yes omg people focus so much on the problem and not the solution itself. @Gabriel Antonio Great Post! I used exposure and response prevention for OCD, and it was very effective. Your tips remind me of the stuff I learnt from ACT therapy funny enough. Also, did you ever try float tanks to be more confident and relaxed?

@Elton just make sure that with whatever life changes you make (dating, career, working out, etc.) you don't rely on practices such as visualisation and affirmation to do it effectively. I made that mistake and nothing changed in the end. I think seeing these practices as enhancements to your actions will lead to better results. I used to crave some feeling of confidence to do anything bold, which never works out in the end, seeing as confidence is temporary like all emotions. Just a bit of advice from my experience take it or leave it haha.

Yes, just look at something like a wall or floor. Avoid looking at anything that has words or moves.

Ok so Ill be starting no fap for the first time today and will be aiming for at least a month without fapping and keep adding more time each attempt I make. Posting this because I thought it would help me stay accountable. Wish me luck! (rip my life lol)

@Arkandeus Thanks man! and yes I do meditate and it would definitely make me more horny ahhaha.

UPDATE: NO FAP MONTH COMPLETE!!!!!!!!! Thank god. What I can be certain about what it did to me was increase my level of discipline (not surprising) as well as give a slight boost in motivation. I am not sure if it gave me more confidence, I personally didn't see a difference. Keep in mind that I am not addicted to porn and masturbation, so the benefits definitely aren't as big as what it would be for an addict. I think I would need to do it for longer to get more benefits. Even though the benefits are subtle, I would still recommend that people do it at least 3 times per year just to free up some time in their schedule, train their discipline skills and clear their mind. I definitely was not thinking about sex much after a decent amount of time went by, which is a lot considering I'm 17 (lol). And I think that makes talking to girls a more comfortable, normal experience. @Arkandeus @Voyager @pluto @sweater @Noname @ShapeShift

"And in the darkest nights, if my memory serves me right. Ill never turn back time, forgetting you but not the time". Read the story of the album American idiot by Green Day and this song will become even deeper than before.

FORMER SUFFERER OF OCD WHOS RECOVERED. Check out Mark Freeman on youtube. He does some great videos about various things relating to mental health but talks a lot about ocd and effective treatments for it. Mark Freeman's definition of a compulsion (the cause of ocd)-Anything you do to cope with, check on, or control uncertainty, anxiety, and any other feelings you don't like. The two main forms of therapy which I used and found effective was a combination of Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP) and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT). Both are extremely useful for cutting out the compulsions that cause such suffering. Medication (SSRIs are probably your best bet as they have less side effects than other meds) can be useful too when doing the therapy. Studies have shown its effectiveness in combination with ERP, so I'd highly recommend it when doing ERP. While I say this, you should know that medication is no long-term solution to the problem, merely something to give you the strength to cut out compulsions and build the skills. Tips on ERP: THE PAIN IS NOT THE PROBLEM. Remember that the urges, sensation, thoughts and feelings themselves while painful are not the problem, but the compulsions that you do, either in your head or out in the world, are the problem. They are what lead to your suffering, and could cause other problems such as depression and addiction. ACCEPT ALL UNCERTAINTY- Whatever uncertainty it is. It could be as simple as "I wonder why my phone buzzed" or "I wonder what she thinks of me" to as extreme as "Did I just kill someone", "has the house burnt down" ,"what if I'm a pedophile, or a murderer, or secretly have schizophrenia", "what if none of this is real". So much in life is uncertain. When we react to the uncertainties in our head, we cause more uncertainties that are more extreme than the previous ones. Accept it all! You cannot know! You Will never know! Try to look at the cores of your fears and the extreme consequences of your fears, and over time learn to accept those things. The cores of all fears include: Death, loss of resources and being alone. Try to find which fear is most related to your obsession, and learn to accept that as well as the obsession. Realise that you are not your thoughts, and that your thoughts are just stories, not facts. This tip is more related to ACT. I'd recommend "The Happiness Trap" by Russ Harris to learn more. Cognitive Defusion is the key concept I am referencing here. The great thing about ACT is that it is something you can do for the rest of your life and continue to benefit from it, and it will be able to help you in various situations as well as recovery from OCD. Remember that through this process of recovery, to be kind to yourself. Be gentle with yourself. This journey is hard, but trust me it is well worth it. RECOVERY IS POSSIBLE. I am a living example of that. I am free of the need to engage in compulsions because of these techniques. I don't take my thoughts seriously anymore, and no matter how negative my thoughts are, I can accept them and live a life I value, and if you do the things I mentioned, you will recover. Just be patient, this wont happen over night. Good luck, work hard, recover, self actualise.

Some things I find useful: Cutting out internet and caffeine addiction. Acceptance and Commitment Therapy techniques. Hypnosis. Meditation: The Five Remembrances, Mindfulness and Loving-Kindness. Diet, supplements+ exercise.

Facing your fears is ultimately the only way to truly overcome these things. Your mind will throw all sorts of excuses to not face them, ignore them. Face these fears and accept the uncertainty and fear involved in the process, and to stick to doing this consistently, I recommend basing your actions on what you value, which I assume is overcoming social anxiety, and not on your feelings, which would be to avoid others. Its perfectly normal to have emotions that are painful, but controlling such experiences is what creates social anxiety in the first place. Self-compassion will make this process easier also.

Loving-kindness meditation was what I found to be effective. Make sure to start with short sessions and build slowly, but trust me its powerful and sustainable.

Read 'The Happiness Trap' by Russ Harris to learn how to practice detachment from thoughts, acceptance and mindfulness more effectively.

@Annica Does the thought bother you? If so try to not judge it as good or bad as well as simply accept it, counterintuitively removing these judgements and accepting it makes it happen less. Of coarse mindfulness is important in removing such judgments and practicing acceptance, as well as separating yourself from the thoughts.

@Voyager Do you think 17 is too young to do it? Assuming that I only do it a few times a year and don't rely on it, also I don't do any spiritual practice currently besides meditation.

Just curious to hear your guys thoughts about modafinil. Have any of you tried it? Is it effective? Is it dangerous? Personally I'm only 17 but wanted to try it a few times and maybe use it more when I'm older, mainly for productivity during study and creativity when music producing (my career aspiration).

Boredom is just a thought. See it for it is; another story. What do you value? Can you push through the boredom? Because I reckon if you do, the results you get will make you engaged in PD again.

@pluto Damn, that does sound harsh. Losing anyone can be quite sobering and does make you stronger if you can come out ok on the other side.

maybe try hypnosis

I'm not surprised, suppressing emotions is like struggling in quick sand, it only makes you sink and quickly too. Denying our human nature that we feel pain only makes us neurotic. Allowing them helps them pass quicker. It's a shame that the education system doesn't teach us how to feel our emotions; how to be mindful of them, which results in people turning to all sorts of compulsions that cause so many mental illnesses like depression, anxiety, depersonalisation and addiction. This isn't a health issue, it's an education issue, and its pathetic and unforgivable that an education system that claims to prepare us for life doesn't teach us how to handle our emotions effectively.

@faith my dog rocky ;( Died 16 years old, we were the same age roughly so I spent my whole childhood with him, so it was very brutal. It's been almost a year since it happened, and I'm still a bit upset about it. Nothing to do but open up to the grief, and allow it to rise and fall of its own accord. I personally think grief is a beautiful thing, it shows how much you care, but nonetheless it can be quite encompassing. On the flip-side of that, I've became grateful to have had those experiences before he died. A lot of wisdom can be gained from such experiences. You appreciate the life you have a lot more, and realise how precious life is in all forms.

@Leo Gura hmm, I see what you mean. I think it's more so a fear of wasting my time working with techniques that don't work, because I've done that in the past and it made me pretty frustrated. I'll give a few of the methods a try and see what it does. So far the only techniques I've found to work was a CBT technique, Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) and mindfulness meditation. Unfortunately things like affirmations and different ways of thinking never helped me at all, but everyone is different so I can't make the assumption that it's going to work. I guess I am just the kind of person that needs to use pure action to get results, without the help of particular emotions like motivation. Just curious, have you heard of ACT? Any thoughts about it? Sorry hope I didn't ramble too much lol.

I've looked online, and as far as what has been said about Neuro-linguistic programming's effective for therapy and personal development, it seems that overall there is little evidence for it being effective. I was interested in it at first, but now it seems pointless. Especially when compared with Cognitive-behavioural therapy, and Acceptance and Commitment therapy that have shown much more results (and have made me a better person). Could someone link me to a legitimate study backing up its effective? Any scenario is fine with me; therapy, self development in general, etc.

Be mindful of it, allow it to be. If you try to make it go away, you will only get angry and frustrated about your anger, possibly making you feel hopeless because you cant control the anger. It piles on and gets worse and worse. Try not to buy into the idea that there is something wrong with you for feeling angry. Of coarse, attempts at using self help techniques to control the anger may help for a little while, but it's no long-term solution. I have found that with any painful emotion, if you allow it and do what matters to you anyway, it usually is short lasting.

As someone who use to struggle really badly with intrusive thoughts and no longer does, I think I have some advice and tips that should apply to your situation. First of all, try antidepressant medications (Prozac or Zoloft are good starters), I by no means suggest this as a long-term solution, but simply as a way to get you out of the negative funk. Second, try and make contact with a good quality therapist that can help you with your issues. One qualified in Cognitive-Behavioural Therapy should help. Also, improve your diet. Read "The UltraMind Solution" by Mark Hyman, it goes into a lot of depth about how physical health affects mental health. Another important thing is to learn about Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT). Read "The Happiness Trap" by Russ Harris. Another good book! "The Mind Workout" by Mark Freeman. Ultimately, there are a few important things to highlight that are significantly contributing to your struggle. #1-Compulsions ("Anything you do to cope with, check on, or control anxiety, uncertainty and any other feelings you don't like"-Mark Freeman). #2-Believing that your thoughts are the truth. ACT can help a lot with this. YOUR THOUGHTS ARE JUST STORIES!!!! OPINIONS!!!! IDEAS!!! They are not facts and they are not you. Anytime you have these thoughts, be mindful of them and simply think to yourself "thanks mind!" and notice how they are simply stories. There is no need to challenge these thoughts, as doing that is often an attempt to get rid of uncertainty, which is just another compulsion to be cut out. #3-Not accepting uncertainty- Maybe free will is an illusion! Maybe its not! Accept that uncertainty and do what you value. To put it simply. Practice Cognitive Defusion over your thoughts. Accept your internal experience (Its ok to feel depressed and anxious!) Choose a valued direction and take action.

Google Exposure and Response Prevention