Shin

Just say it: "I'm not the kind of guy who pay anything". If she seemed interested before you drop that line, and suddenly isn't anymore, jackpot (she's either very close-minded or a gold-digger). If she still want to date you, jackpot. If you want a relationship that can last, honesty is a priority. If you just want to fuck, there is other means, where you don't even have to pay 1 buck ...

The core problem of finding happiness, is the assumption that something is missing in you, that you need a love relationship, a certain job, approval from friends/family/society, or litterally anything to be happy. Most people are not seeking in the right direction, happiness is not something you'll find outside of you, happiness is what you are, You ARE joy, peace, and love. Litterally. It may seem silly, hippie stylish, whatever you want to call it, but this is the truth with a capital T. It strucked me for good this afternoon, while I was walking in Strasbourg, practising mindfulness while still paying attention to life around me. EVERYTHING was moving by itself, it was so fluid, It was like I was looking through a mirror, like seeing a movie, but a movie that felt real, and for the first time ever, I realized that "I" am just an idea, thoughts, stories. The thing that shocked me the most, was that I wasn't directing my body or my action at all, life was playing by itself, there was a body, there was definitely a mind, but none of it was in control, they were performer. It may seems scary written like this, especially if you just started mindfulness work, but there is nothing to fear, trust me ... Now, this is when it gets interesting, not only I wasn't having anxiety at all (like 0%), but everything I was doing, was always in consideration of helping someone or something to work properly, but I didn't have any intention about it, IT CAME NATURALLY. It was like I was a ant, but it felt AMAZINGLY GOOD BEING A FUCKING ANT. EVERYTHING was beautiful, it felt like watching the same movie, but seeing it in 4K instead of a DVDrip quality. Seeing other people (genuinely) happy, whoever they were, their race, looks, age, physical appearance, make me happier too, it was like not only everything was connected, but everything and everyone were dancing together, loving each other, even if they weren't conscious of it. It really feel like a dream, but at the same time, more real and intense that what you ever experienced, and in the background, Peace, Joy, and Love. This isn't the love you know, it is undescribable, so profound and deep, very very deep ... It comes from a place where limits are non-existent, it is a void, it is infinite, it is nothing and all the thing there is, it is the most paradoxal thing you could experience, And the thing you'll realize, is that it feels extremely natural and "logical" at the same time. Love is not a state of mind, it is who you are, it always has been, and will ever be. How could you not love everything you are, create, experience and do ? Why would you do it in the first place if it wasn't coming from love ? Love is all there is. This is the most profound insight you will ever get, and honestly, it is so simple to get it. It may seems arrogant, but it is, you just have to be, You just have to live your life, by actually living it. Raising your awareness is the only way to do it, whether it comes from pain, or hardcore observance of your mind activities (ideally both). Meditation is obviously a necessity, because it helps calming your mind, but it is more of an assistance, it is not the core of the "work". Ultimately there is nothing that has to be done, there is only mental constructs that has to fall. That can only be done by being conscious of every of your thoughts, emotions, and acts, And that means no judgements and compassion, for yourself, and everyone else (even for the people you "hate"). Don't blame yourself, treat yourself like you would treat a puppy, Love yourself It is the only way to find who you really are. It is the only way to find the love you desperately seek. It is the only way to experience what the Buddha called Nirvana, and Jesus called Heaven ... God is self-acceptance God is compassion God is courage God is love YOU ARE GOD http://www.ascensionlovespirituality.com/Love/unconditionallove.htm

A shrink is probably necessary, this is some heavy stuff. Don't be cheap about this.

How often do you socialize with your friends ? Do you usually meet indoor (at one places), or do you regularly go at bars/clubs ?

The sole fact that you want to help him makes you a wonderful human being Just don't expect people to change, or to be more accurate, try not to feel the need to see them change. It is only painful if you think they should change, and no they shouldn't, maybe they will, maybe they won't, some are ready for it, some will, and some will never change. You're not responsible for them, so there is no guilt or sadness to feel, only compassion if you see them fail miserably. That does not mean you shouldn't try, always try, but don't expect anything. We are all responsible for ourselves, and it is only by our own will that we can really change, so if someone doesn't want to change, there is simply nothing to do. He does not like to read ? Buy him an audio book then

1 month is nothing, be patient.

Why do you want a marriage ?

Eckhart Tolle Jenny Ford Jalaluddin Rumi

When you'll remove the "want" and "should" words from your daily vocabulary, is when you'll stop being average.

Eckhart Tolle

Ultimately it is all about what you love to practice the most, not what you logically think you need to do. Sometimes big dreams are just ego based and not genuine at all, I for myself have big visions, but maybe it's just my ego who wants to feel important, because it never had any recognition whatsoever. Maybe you won't like being a psychologist, even if you were competent, it is not because it has a direct impact on someone/something that a career is more viable than an another. If you become an artist, and do some inspirational (and even silly) comics, I can guarantee you they can have an impact, even more than if you were a psychologist, because you would like it more, and so you will be better at it in the long run (= reaching more people because of your success). So you really need to dig deep, because you could deceive yourself there, just like I could deceive myself into being a popular spiritual teacher/psychologist, instead of embracing my love for competitive card game (or vice-versa). We don't know ourselves enough, that's why we can't make a choice right now, but it's all a matter of digging deep enough and doing the life purpose course dilligently.

Just had a really good idea for a comic artist. Why not make a comic blog about your lower self and your higher self ? You could even have a spiritual side to it, a subtil one in order to still be accessible to the average guys/girls. What do you think people ?

I felt like you a hundred time, I failed every single time. It doesn't matter how much energetic you are right now, it is all about the habits you have, and the consistency you apply to them everyday. Better start small, then incrementally increase your study/work/meditation time, rather than going full yolo and stop everything in 1 month because you didn't build a sustainable plan of actions.

If you've taken the Life purpose course, And If you take your time to choose your 10 values, I mean really, like a week, 30 minutes everyday, deleting values that are similar to others (and keeping the strongest one), replacing them with other value, again and again, AND if you sort them all again by order of importance, by comparing them in the next exercice, again and again and AGAIN, You have a CRYSTAL CLEAR idea of what you need in your work, in order to be happy, And that's just like 30% of the exercices, there's A LOT more after

And if you can't ? I'm asking because I never been able to have this kind of huge fire inside me, telling me that I'm doing something really great here, or that I could, even when I acknowledge that I could do exceptional work. For example, I often have this vision of me being a spiritual teacher, helping some people to feel better, and it feels kinda nice, but again, no fire, I see that I could be happy doing this, but apparently I don't really care. Even the life purpose course, which I know could entirely shape my life into something amazing, does not fire anything inside me. I know it's important, I know it will help, but I'm not excited at all. The only exception is when I discovered what Enlightenment is (the concept), I promised myself that I would know the truth at some point, But aside this experience, it's like everything is just "cool, but yeah, I don't know, why bothering ?" Do I have a problem ? Or did I just not find what I love and it's totally normal ? Or maybe it's because I'm starting to differenciate myself from my ego and I feel that nothing is serious ? It bugs me, it feels like I'm dead inside, but at the same time I'm not depressed at all, and I can definitely feel positive emotions, it is really weird

Didn't know you had a youtube channel, there's great content in there

It is just about watching your thoughts. When you speak/imagine things in your mind, don't just talk/dream, watch what you are saying/thinking. It is easier to do when you feel your body at the same time. Don't judge your thoughts though, and if you caught yourself judging, forgive yourself, let it go. At some point, you'll laugh at what you're thinking, because you'll know it's just a repetitive patterns, or some stupid mind reactions, you'll even be able to laugh when you backslide on a an habit. It is very funny, I laugh a lot these days, it's just so much fun to realize how fucked up the human mind can be

After one meditation session, nothing particular, rested that's all. After 6 months of meditation, I'm now able to watch my thoughts and not identify myself with (for the most part), even in an argument. It is like you "watch" thoughts appearing in your mind, but you know they are just words/ideas, not you. I was a bit hardcore for 2/3 months though, I was meditating for like 2/3 hours per day, and since I was tired all the time, it was easier to be vigilant about my thoughts in order to practice mindfullness. I'm doing mindfullness full time since I started to meditate, which speeds up a lot my consciousness growth (just doing meditation isn't gonna do the trick in the short/mid term).

I for myself was very lazy, I was litterally doing nothing else than gaming all day 1 year ago. You just need to build some healthy habit, one at a time. For example, I started with walking 45 minutes-1 hour everyday, it was challenging at first, simply because I wasn't accustomed to it (now it's something like 90 minutes to 2 hours) When I discovered Actualized.org, It was a well established habit already, so I took a meditation habit. It took me 6 months to make it a habit, so much resistance coming from this, it's unbelievable how much your ego dislike silence and stillness Now I can still feel some resistance, it's rare, but when I start the session, I almost never think it's too long, unless my back pains me too much this day. 2 weeks ago I started the life purpose exercices, and it is even more challenging than starting a meditation habit, and I think it's because I know that if I do it right, my life will totally transform. Somedays I fail to do even the daily goal which is just 1 hour, but I'm not worried, I know it's just a matter of time until the habit sticks I found a trick though, you start a timer on your smartphone, and you stop it whenever you want to do something else, and whenever you feel like you want to work again, you activate the timer again. That helps when you're on a very lazy day. So you see, you just need to choose the right habit to take, be patient, and it will be fine. The problem is that the ego wants everything right and now, but that's not how growth works, that's not how real change comes, unless you were already a very energic person with habits already in place, or your life has been destroyed, But for the majority of us, who lives in comfort, it is very hard to change, simply because there is no real problem in our lives. IF you want to grow, there will be pain, there will be struggles, you can't make a beautiful ruby by petting a stone, you burn it at 1200 degrees ! You have to accept that, it doesn't matter if it takes 1/2 or 3 years to finally have all the good habits in place, 3 years is nothing, you have like 40 years after that to make it work

It is expected, you can't go from extreme lazyness to super active mode in a few weeks, it takes time.

The irony is that by telling them to stop the search, it could lead them to it

Some of you must also realize that they are not ready YET. If there is huge functional issue(s) in your life, work on that first. You might get an awakening experience and totally pissing your life away after that (or maybe you're doing it right now ?), by simply thinking there is nothing else to do in life than to realize your enlightement. You would be like these spiritual seekers, chasing experience after experience, doing nothing else from their gifts, not even trying to be a benevolent force (which is very egotistical if you are conscious that you could). There is a term for these kind of people, junkies. That's exactly what you're doing right now if you feel you absolutely NEED to be awakened, which is not suprising, since the ego is a infinite void seeking to fill itself (which he cannot). Don't stop meditating, it has too much health benefit, but stop the search, STOP THE SEARCH, If your mind isn't rock solid, and if you don't have total independancy in your life, just stop.

Jean-Paul Sartre.

Always start with your life goals and ask this question « What do I want from my life now » You, your character : Who would you feel proud to be ? What would create a lot of self-respect ? Who you really want to be ? Relationship goals : How do you want to show up (family/friends/Partner) ? Growth goals : What would you make exceptional at my career/life purpose ( and if you don’t one, make that your year(s) goal) ? What would make you more calmer, more happier, more mindful, more stable ? What social skills you think you need to develop to be a better friend/partner/dad ? You take something like a whole night, afternoon to think about this, and then you do it every month after. Now that you know these goals, make monthly and years goals. What could I deliver this month ? What do I want this month ? In 6 months ? This year ? In 10 years ??? Each weeks there is to be a workout (or several) time, a free-time night/afternoon, family (and or partner) time, personal growth time, a friend time, and a creative time (improving your skills about your career/life purpose). Not necesserarily at the same hours each week, but you need to make sure you’re putting enough time for each of these. Daily habits : First thing in the morning, before doing anything else, think about the 3 most important things you have to do today, to feel like you’re progressing in your life. Tips : Make your wallpaper about these 3 habits (phone and pc), it will help, a lot.

INTJ Shit, would be way easier to achieve world domination if I was an Entj or an Enfj ! Gotta work hard on my flaws in order to submit all of you to my evil scheme !