Shin

It's your ego talking shit to you, trying to get you to stop growing, don't take it seriously and keep going

Eric Thomas Bruce Lee Adyashanti Rumi Oprah

Do it

That's so true, it's just a game that our ego plays, and the ego is never satisfied. You will never find the perfect guy/girl, because he/she doesn't exist, and even if you think that's not what you're after, this is exactly what your mind is doing in the shadow, otherwise there would be no break-up from your part, and there would be no search of a "better/new relationship". Having a boyfriend/girlfriend isn't bad in itself (there is nothing wrong with it), but the search, the ego traps, the pain, the anxious thoughts, and everything else that stems from the dating world, is a HUGE WASTE OF TIME, time that you could use to follow your passion, self-mastery, and spiritual work. So unless you're very developed, very conscious, at the edge of enlightenement, a relationship is nothing but the search of your true self, you're searching for happiness through external circumstance (and this is what 99.99% of people do, including myself when I think about it). It last for a while, for various reasons, but the love you felt isn't love per say, it's just a fraction of what love is, and love has nothing to do with singularity. The thing is, happiness will never come from something else than you, not on the long term, so the couple you see that are happy for a very long time, most of them are lying to you, to themself, and to their partner, because there is actually very few people who can be happy with the same person from such an extended period of time. From a cultural standpoint, it wasn't like this before the 60's (or after, I don't know the exact dates), simply because divorce wasn't accepted, so people HAD to work it out, this explain why some old couple are now happy together, but this is only because they had to stay together, because in their mind it couldn't be any other way (and most of them aren't/or it has nothing to do with the fact that they are together). So should you date someone who's "better" than you ? Or not ? It doesn't matter, it won't work either way, not until you realize who you really are, And even then, your partner won't (probably) accept that you aren't playing the ego game, and you'll end up alone (but at that point you wouldn't care).

Did you take the life purpose ? I finished the values and strenghts parts, and my life purpose is already pretty clear. I have absolutely no idea if It can't be done, if I have the abilities, and It is very probable I'll die before I even see its beginning. But you know what ? That's doesn't matter, The fire that it brings in your heart, This feeling of aliveness that you get, Is priceless

Remember when you were a child ? How everything was magic and beautiful ? That's reality.

Tom O'Bedlam

Prepare your tissue.

If she can't pay for her own meal, how is not that being cheap too ?

You can't experience love if you don't love yourself (that's different than being narcissist). Love stems from your authentic self, and your authentic self can only be found inside of you. Everything that is external to you, can't and won't bring you lasting happiness, Until you find peace within.

You negociate, you prioritize the thing(s) you need that are the most important right now. For example, stopping your junkfood addiction before stopping your fapping addiction. You can't do a lot of stuff at the same time, but ultimately you will backslide on some, so it's not recommanded to change a lot of things in your life at once. Replacing one bad habit by a healthy habit every two months (or more, untill it becomes natural), is a rule to respect if you want to see true lasting changes in your life.

Both

Do it

It's a good thing, seeking the truth is not necesserarily a good idea, a lot of teachers tells that. You can't conceptualize it, you can't think about it, so why seeking ? How could you even seek something you already are ? It will just come naturally if you continue to practice, and by deepening these practices, Without seeking anything, just because it feels good and because you know it makes you more aware (= more grounded and happy in your life).

If someone could help ^^ I have a passion for card games (Hearthstone/Magic), but I also have this big vision of myself becoming a ultra popular guru. In the first case, I usually imagine myself winning big tournament, but at the same time, it feels secondary, like, playing and surpassing myself, and just have fun while doing it, is already enough. In the second one, I imagine myself like the next Eckhart Tolle, even more popular, but it doesn't really feel appealing if I was just a random guru who reach few people. It puzzles me, I guess I would know for sure once I get an enlightenment experience, but that could take years untill I "get" there. I'm open to both idea, but I really don't know, both of the choices make sense to me, I feel that the second one is more ego based, but perhaps it is my ego itself who doesn't want to get out of his comfort zone and tries to mindfuck me ? Well, time will tell anyway, but it would be nice to know tricks and tips on how to work on that.

Indeed !

Refrain from any relationship untill you can't be "pissed of" by anyone ever again --------> Self-actualization/spiritual/shadow work growth. All I see from your post is "my ego can't stand that" "my ego doesn't want that" "my ego doesn't know what to do" etc etc ... Untill you can clearly see your thoughts from an another perspective and not suffers from them anymore, Relationships will always brings you pain.

When I talk about raising consciousness in a non "mainstream" way, I mean this:

You can spread awareness in millions of ways. Just find the one thing you love to do for the sake of doing it, but don't force yourself to think you have to spread awareness in a conventional way (classic sage/guru/zen master/popular spiritual teacher and so on). Simple exemple, you could be a very famous runner, and spread awareness by explaining how and why you love to be at the top of your game to your fan-base/media/social circle (meditation/mindfulness/spiritual work etc...). Using the money you make (and if you're world class, you'll have a lot of it) to help raising consciousness/build a more conscious/peaceful world. You could reach even more people than, for example, Eckart Tolle. If you are that good, that godly-driven about that one thing, why couldn't you, what could stop you ?

Well, I know people, including myself, that after their first real good relationship, fully understood what I was trying to say. So maybe you'll have to find a really decent relationship to understand all this, but at the same time, if it works too well, you could be trapped into it and never actualized later in your life (or maybe not, who knows). The other alternative is to go "all-in" in awareness/self-actualization work, like Ajasatya said, but depending on your current habits and awareness level, it could take a very long time (and you could give up). Both approach works, but I think the first one is better for people who intellectually understand that a relationship does not add anything to your self-worth/love, but lacks the experience, and the second is preferable for people who already knows that by experience, and are just tired of it. Not this year, now, Don't think in future terms.

Dude, your caps lock is you too, HAVE SOME COMPASSION FOR IT !!! ^^

I wasn't insulting you, I was genuinely thinking that perhaps you were gathering advices for a friend who seemed confuse about how to make guys comfortable near her. Now, from what I read about your swimming experience (^^), you definitely need to work on your anxiety and how you approach guys and relationship in general. Girls that are that are very complexed like that, can easily get used by assholes, you won't see it coming (and it could lead to even deeper traumas), so make it your top priority. Ask yourself why do you even want a relationship, because from all the experiences I gathered irl (from people around me), on forums, and by myself, is that you never want a relationship for the good reasons. It's only when you don't really want and need a relationship that a good potential relationship will show up, and at that point you'll have a real choice to make, And you wouldn't choose that person because you're needy or because you feel lonely, or because you need love, or because you think you should be in a relationship (cultural paradigm/social pressure), But simply because you'll be able to say to yourself "ok, that person I know for some time is xyz, It could really work, we could really grow together" You would say to yourself that it doesn't have to be that person, that you could totally wait longer, even if the person is amazing. That's when you can say "I want a relationship", in my opinion ^^

Maybe she needs advice for a friend.

It's your opinion (and I respect it). Mine is that if a woman doesn't want to pay her own shit, even at the first date, I don't see why we should try to get to know her. If she thinks the guy is cheap, then so be it, it's a huge red flag for us too, because, She's probably under total influence of her culture, closed-minded, anti-feminist, a gold-digger, and she could also project her insecurity about money like you said (which could lead to further problem ...). I mean, there is so many women, everywhere, why would we bother with women who doesn't appeal to us ? In my mind, men and women are equal, so that means everything is 50/50, Now, If I gain way more money than her, and we're in couple for some months, of course I'm gonna pay her some big trip, Like If I want to go do some parachute and she wants to, I won't ask her to pay 400$, that's just common sense.