Shin

Try to get a samadhi experience after long hours of meditation. You can't really go back after that @electroBeam Peace, bliss, love. You don't need a goal to have/give that to people you meet/know. You'll most likely have a goal if you start to tap on that though.

"Stop running from your pain, and embrace your pain"

@WaterfallMachine What do you mean by that ? Are you just annoyed by those emotions, like it's not pleasant but you let them be, and you just try to understand why you feel this way ? Or do you hate and/or judge yourself for having those emotions ? That's the distinction that changes everything, because in the first one it doesn't really matters what sort of emotions comes, you won't become them and they won't impact how you behave. If you want to work on anxiety, the best exercice is to think about something that makes you feel bad, by bringing awareness to it (if you get lost in the emotion it won't work obviously), repeatedly untill it doesn't trigger you. It's challenging and totally counter-intuitive, because that means you intentionally wants to feel pain, no "sane" mind would want to do that @WaterfallMachine If you start to embody that judgment and running from your fears is counter-productive, and it starts to really happen in your life, it's a huge step. When you'll embody totally that, nothing will be able to stop you anymore

You could be fat and ugly that you would still be able to attract good looking women, it's all about how confident/humorous/detached you are from them that counts, not how you look like (which is not an excuse to not take care of your health/body ofc). You may think looks matters, because almost all good looking guys are confident/humorous and detached (or at least appears so), but they got all that BECAUSE they think looks matters, you see ... You gotta work on your self-esteem and your detachement first. So start a meditation habit, 20 minutes per day, and read this book, and this one.

Do you expect to never have any "bad" emotions ever again ? Even if it was possible, that's not what you're looking at, you're looking at what you're experiencing right now. Which is the space that engulf everything there is, without thinking it's good or bad.

If you've succeed the first two months without fapping, and you start to have long streaks without wet dreams, allow yourself to fap (without porn or mind fantasy) the first and the 15th of the month. You won't need to do that most of the time, but when a wet dream doesn't come for more than 2/3 weeks, your mind may starts to be filled with sexual content and you start to objectify women as sex object again (at least the ones you find very hot). Only do that if you've succeed to stay away from fapping for at least 2 full months, and if you see yourself coming back to your old ways, next time start that after 4 months. If you didn't start to do this, I highly recommand it, it's not just to feel a bit more manly, it changes a lot of your brain chemistry and it has amazing results (not a magic pill though, nothing is).

At that point, I would leave everything and go into a Zen monastery and tell the master to chain me to a rock for the next 5 years. You either need a miracle, or years of hardcore self-developement. That's why being a nobody for a few years would be the best thing that could happen to you, and I mean that literally. So either you go to a Zen monastery and you surrender, or you overcome all these addictions by yourself. You can try the second one for a year, and if you didn't even overcome one of them, then you should definitely go to a monastery.

That's quite funny, cause last night I had a dream about leo doing a video with some short emo blond hair. He even kiss his grunge girlfriend at the end. Such a troll :3

"What will be my next thought ?" ..... *New thought* ..... = Enlightenment Cultivate that. Whenever you are doing something mechanically, instead of thinking, focus on the task at hand (walking, waiting, cleaning, cooking, driving etc ...). And try to watch your thoughts more attentively without getting lost in them, they tends to stop if you do that. When a thought pattern (especially about past/future) starts to loose its momentum, try to let go of it entirely by focusing on the present moment. Just decide to let go, that can be done, it's painful at first because your mind thinks it will die if he does, but with some practice it's when you let go that you'll feel actually the most alive. It doesn't require of you any time, practice yes, but that doesn't mean you need a specific timeframe to finally "control" your thoughts (you can't control them, but you can choose to let go or to not identify/getting lost with/in them). /!\ DON'T get mad at yourself if you go inconscious, especially if you've made progress and after a while you get back to think more and more again. You didn't lost anything, it's totally normal, and after a while it will get back to "normal" again. That generally happens when something challenging appears in your life and you're not used to that situation (like getting a new job/moving to a new country, separation, or whatever situations that change your life drastically). /!\ I you didn't read this book, I higly recommand it, it's probably the best book to learn how to be present and stop the identification with the mind. https://www.amazon.com/Power-Now-Guide-Spiritual-Enlightenment-ebook/dp/B002361MLA/ref=sr_1_1_ha?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1494962692&sr=1-1&keywords=power+of+now

Focus on yourself. You don't need anyone to be what you want to be. If you feel the need to have people around you to succeed, you already failed. I would suggest to take care of your judmental behabviour though, because that will fucks you in the long term, in every area of your life. https://zenhabits.net/a-simple-method-to-avoid-being-judgmental-yes-that-means-you/

Such binaural Much beats WOW AWAKENING !

I have a questionable sense of humor

It's a nice analogy, but only if you don't take dreams for dreams What I mean is that a dream is not something out of reality, it is reality, as much as what we are experiencing now. So, when you can clearly see thoughts for what they are, you start to see life less seriously, way less seriously than before. In the process, you start to see everything as "ethereal", nothing really exist, and everything is real at the same time. If you've experienced lucid dreams, it's exactly like that. Your actual life, what you call your life, is not all of it. You think you're traped in some sort of constricted reality, but in fact you're just unaware. That's why spiritual teachings aren't really teachings, they just make you realize what you already know. The best advice I could give you, would be to not have any concept of what reality is, because whatever you can think of, it won't be, it will just drives you away from it.

You meditate like a mother fucker, you notice what kind of thoughts make you feel incomfortable (or worse), then you face them. @Afonso How erasing limiting beliefs that makes you suffer could be pointless ? It's like saying that curing your cancer is pointless because another one could come right after. You'll always be annoyed yes, but it doesn't really matter cause you will be able in a split second to remember there is no point to be annoyed.

I quote it, because it's so god damn true. @Sevi

Because it's strange and I'm curious :3

If you embody it, you know there is no coincidences whatsoever, and that the dream you have, is god's dream. That literally means you can't fail If you don't give up. Read between the lines ...

Don't even call it "ego", because that would imply it is an independant entity, and it gives it an identity (to fight like you said). There is no "ego" that dominate your life, It's just thoughts/beliefs patterns. The mind blame/criticize everything that contratict these thoughts/beliefs, in order to make sense. This is why there is always "something wrong", or "something that you must get". It's an infinite loop, a battle no one can win. It feels like an ennemy because it does everything it can to preserve itself, but when you look at it more closely, it's just a broken inconscious system that tries to make it work, tries. It's nothing but fears, and weaknesses, of course it doesn't want to look and fix itself, that would require to suffer, even more. It's just inconsciousness, there is nothing wrong in itself, we just need to transcend it, which means not identify with the thoughts/beliefs, but rather try to understand where they come from. With understanding, it starts to loose its momentum, and at some point it doesn't hold you anymore. You'll see the beliefs coming before you say anything, and most of the time you won't say anything or you would say you don't know what is your position (you'll be neutral).

Emptiness of thoughts (like 95% of the time). Whenever a thought cames in, it's way easier to let it drop than a regular day. Like, I can instantly choose to let go of a thought, even if it has a huge momentum.

@SeviI did 3 hours of sitted meditation, I'll do more now. I also did 1 hour of walking meditation and something like 30-45 minutes of self-inquiry (maybe more). I think I'll do 2 hours of meditation everyday now, I can feel the difference. @Sevi Tell me when you'll meditate then :3

No, it isn't. In fact, the more problems you have in your life, the better it is for realizing who you are. This is just excuses coming from your mind, nothing else.

Instead of going to a Dark Room Retreats with any kind of Darkness training, spend each day a certain amount of time in the dark. If the fear is intense, start with one minute, then add one minute everyday. When you're comfortable to be in the dark at home for a hour, go in a forest or some open-air place where there is no light whatsoever and stay there for a whole hour. After that, you could add 15 minutes every week.