Shin

Everytime I start a meditation (you=god):

Such nothing Much nothing WOW NOTHING !!!

... You just have to believe in it. It's that simple. If you don't believe you deserve happiness, you won't. If you don't believe you can ace that test/job/career, then you won't. If you don't believe you can be at peace, right now, you won't. If you don't believe you can be attractive/confident, guess what, you won't. If you don't believe you can start a successful business, well, you won't. If you don't believe you are already enlightened, yeah, you got it, YOU WON'T ! NOT IN 10 YEARS, NOT IN 1 YEAR, NOT IN 1 MONTH, NOT TOMORROW, NOT IN 2 HOURS, NOT IN 1 SECOND

I don't know what to do anymore. Seems like the only thing there is to do is to have faith and ask silently what we are until we know. I don't care anymore, if I have to sit all day doing nothing, so be it. @electroBeam Don't worry, it has nothing to do with my level of happiness/peace, I'm just being pulled by it, and there is nothing else that feels interesting enough to pursue than this anymore

For those who would argue that "If I was enlightened, I would be aware of it, I would see everything as me, everything would be spacious blablabla" NO ! This is not how it works, and this is why past and future are an illusion too. There is nothing outside of the present moment, except that you've never been there before ... All the meditations, retreats, whatever you've done, you've never been in the present, Because if you did, you would had an enlightenement/awakening experience already. Do you realize what that mean ? That means everytime you meditate, or be mindful, you're not present. You don't, you think you do, because there is no thoughts, nothing, but even there your mind is running the show ... It is still there, inconsciously trying to get "there". Even when you're very "present", there is still a tiny bit of it, seeking, or manipulating your experiences. SO HOW DO YOU DO IT ???!!!

Use the belief to realize that it is true, then drop it. You don't need to believe in something you know it's true, it just is. Of course that requires a certain "level" of awareness, otherwise you'll just go full neurotic as you said.

Yes it is. The more addiction you overcome, the more you'll start to understand why people are the way they are, you'll be more and more accepting towards them and reality as a whole. When you overcome an addiction, you realize that your mind can't be what you are. You can't overcome your mind with your own mind. Something else is there ...

You have to watch them without getting lost in them. If you do that, at some point you'll begin to laugh at them, and they will start to disappear

This is a stage you have to go through. You can't become still without seeing the madman in you first. Even when you'll be peaceful, the madman will still be there, the only difference is that you'll know the madman isn't you. So you won't care if he scream, fear, or is unhappy, in fact you'll be grateful to feel these emotions, cause at this point you'll know they are only signs. They'll point to which beliefs you have to transcend, in order to free yourself. Fear is one of these emotions, so you won't fear to go through fear either

Gotta believe that you can drop your beliefs first. So you have to believe that you can't believe. That's how fucked up this all thing is.

@Sevi Yes I did, one of the best meditation session I ever had.

I still can't focus for more than 5 minutes too, and I have no particular problem with my brain. I guess it takes (a lot) of time.

Depend on the individual. Some will like guided meditation, some will dislike it. Some will appreciate group meditation, some will prefer solo meditation. Now, don't rely too much on guided and group meditation, most of the time you'll have to do it by yourself, alone. Unless you're in a monastery or rewatch the same guided meditation over and over of course. I don't recommand this though, meditation is about making the inconscious, conscious, and having to deal with emotional trauma/existential crisis, and this will happen much more if you meditate alone.

Sounds like your ego is using spirituality to get lazy. The joy of doing these things will come back in time, you'll just be detached from them (except the ones that weren't authentic) You won't search completion in them, and in the end you will enjoy them more

It's gonna take at least a few weeks of intense work, probably months. Be patient and don't forget to forgive/love yourself in the process

This will be your face when you'll realize how pointless judgments are (for real) @Annetta Yes, that would be a nice thing to do. You will be so PEACEFUL when you won't judge anyone (even yourself) and anything anymore. It's like night and day

This Come back, I'm ready now ! I PROMISE, NO LIE !!!

It's all in your mind. This is actually the best time to meditate, try to feel/look at your irritation, without judging it. @Sevi

If you're needy, you can't love. The choice is simple, continue to be ready and used by every person you met Or facing the void inside and being able to love everyone without needing anything from them. If someone gives you a miracle solution that avoid facing pain and existential crisis, they are crooks. @egoeimai But we can give them love

Then you didn't get my love vibes

So you're saying that animals that eat other animals are not really eating ?

You could be a rapist who torture and kill children, and still be enlightened. Don't think because you become vegan, you respect others opinions, donate/help charity or whatever else "good" things you do/wants to do, will make any differences, because it won't. The only thing that will make you realize what you are, is how much you know (really know, not concepts in your mind) that all morals, positions, and beliefs are all illusions. Everything else is just ego masturbation.