Shin

Feeling your inner body is a portal to the present moment. It's a powerful tool, but it's not enough, don't practice just that. The first portal is to see your thoughts as an another perception, just like a sound, otherwise you totally identify with them and you will suffer. That's the main teaching and it's the most liberating, and you don't need years of meditation, it's way simpler than you think it is. You basically just watch your thoughts all day (it's ultra tedious at first for most people), then you do that in your meditations too. It's the main teaching for a reason, because if you don't identify with your thoughts, then it's way easier to practice the 3rd and 4th portals. The 2nd portal is to feel your inner body, but it's almost impossible to feel it for more than a few seconds if you heavily indentify with your mind, because there is always something to think about right ? The 3rd portal is to let go of your thoughts, let go of your resistence to events, let go of (self-created) suffering, etc ... That's what we mean when we say you should surrender. If you let go, then you become quickly conscious that you are way more than just a body or a mind, because there is a sense of freedom that is way beyond whatever you've experienced, and you clearly sense it emanates from something beyond your mind. The 4rd portal is the one that is the most difficult to get into place, because if you aren't able to do the first 3, then you are literally incapable of doing it consistently. It's the present moment itself, being able to be present just by choice. It's the most powerful thing you can experience, and paradoxically, you will dismiss it the first hundreds time. It is overlooked so deeply, than you actually think you know what it is, but you really really don't, otherwise you wouldn't ask any questions.

When you finally get back to 2h + meditation a day

You don't realize yet how much he will be interested once he can sense how much happier you will be (and how much "luck you will have). There is really no need to drag people in, people will naturally follow if you're deep in it yourself.

Then tell to all the people you regularly see to not expect to talk to you for 20 days. How hard is that ? @Edvard No. What I'm saying is that your mind is tricking itself to stay lazy. You could look at your phone, that's not the problem ,the problem is that the only reason you presently would is to distract yourself. What other people think of you is irrelevant, 99.99% of people will think you're stupid to just sit and meditate, so don't expect them to understand why you're doing a retreat. That's one of the main reason people get stuck in this work, you really need to stop about what other people think of you. How could you do what almost no one is doing, if you think other opinions matters more than what you feel is right ?

No you didn't. How I know ? Because you described the last two months of my life. What do you have to do ? Nothing, you will stop naturally when enough awareness has been gathered. Don't see this as a bad sign, a huge backslide like this isn't random. It's a sign of huge progress prior it. Backslide are to expect, next time it will be less painful because you will know it's supposes to happen. "Life is difficult. Life become easy once you know it's supposed to be difficult" Idon'tremembersorrybros

You're god damn right.

Coming home

It's the principal source of exhaustion. There is so much space once the mind gets quiet.

Doesn't make sense, you're not supposed to have less energy, maybe not much more, but not less. It's possible though, everything is possible, but you should think about what other things could be related to this, it's much more likely to be linked to something that happened in this last 2 weeks rather than that.

@Marios Tsagoulis I highly doubt you can have problem with too much meditation, if meditation is the only thing you really do. If you're listening to audio, or if you are in a very painful position for your body, then yes it can be a problem. Otherwise there is no reasons, raising your consciousness won't damage your body or your brain, it does the opposite. The only way you could damage the body would be to activate your kundalini, but don't worry about that, generally it happens after self-realization, so it's not a problem right now.

Hell no, the mind is the most funny thing in the world, you definitely don't want to silence it ! @Nahm But it's funny ...

The good old "but what if x, maybe it's too dangerous to do y" which 99.99% of the time means "How can I deceive myself to stay inconscious". @Marios Tsagoulis What do you think you are working out when you meditate ?

I didn't see anyone that wants to be a Grey Jedi, I DO ! That seems oddly familliar, I wonder where does that comes from ...

Benefits of Meditation - Top Reasons To Start Meditating Right Now How To Meditate - The No Bullshit Guide to Meditation Spiritual Enlightenment - The Most SHOCKING Truth You'll Ever Hear The Benefits Of Enlightenment How To Become Enlightened - The Exact Step By Step Process Revealed! What's Wrong With Ego? The Happiness Spectrum - The Best & Worst Kinds Of Happiness Judgment - How You Ruin Your Own Happiness Fake Growth vs Real Growth - What If You're Just Tricking Yourself? How To Stop Being A Victim - The #1 Reason You Are Stuck In Life

Here you go

But why do you care ? Yes, there is no way to know if Eckhart Tolle, Adyashanti etc ... are enlightened, but who cares ? What is important is the message they give, the messages that resonates in your soul and you intuitively know are true. Assuming what non-duality is supposed to be, it doesn't even matter anyway, because that implies even people that aren't aware of their enlightenment, are still enlightened, they just suffer from the confusion.

Yoda you filthy zen devil !

When you started self-inquiry for less than a week Leo and his girlfriend

I can't know for sure, but it's probably more than just the fact that you masturbate (even thought it's not healthy to masturbate too much for a lot of reasons). @Girzo Sums it up pretty nicely, you have to loose that armor, there can't be any armor anyway. You have to open up to people, to the world and to yourself, and the only true way of doing that, is by doing shadow work coupled with consciousness work (daily meditation and what I describe below). You won't be able to accept love from other until you accept to love yourself, and you can't love yourself if you don't fully accept yourself. To be able to fully accept yourself you have to fully feel all the emotions that appears in your body, and to fully accept whatever your mind is saying too. It is very very simple, you just feel/look those things without judging, and after some time (it all depends on how much baggage you have), all the suppressed emotions/negative beliefs will be cleansed (and you won't create new ones). It's not a pleasant process at all, but it's the only true solution, everything else won't solved the problem for very long. If you have the courage to do this, then you'll be able to choose happiness/peace everytime, even in situations that would usually trigger your old you (not all the time though, it's a process, not a one time achievement). If you choose to do this, it will very painful, there is nothing that will hurt more to realize all your suppressed emotions, from your early childhood to now. You're currently in hell, and you'll have to go to the deepest of it to do this work. Once you've done it though, you'll jailbreak out of it, which means there is a way to live life you didn't even experience yet. Well you did have, when you were a child

The funny part is when you come back as an ego, and the ego cling to that realization but doesn't experience it anymore.

You can also tell her that you want 30 minutes of calm. I assume you have a penis, so you might be able to do that. @Alex K Whatever your gender is, she's or he's (or whatever ) is the partener you choose to be with. So either this partner is a real one and gives you some time do to what matters to you, or you quit her/him. @Alex K Sorry If I'm too abrupt, I don't really know from where it comes from, it's nothing personal. I'm recently realizing I could be way more gentle and still saying the things that matters, I'm currently working on this