Shin

Not really, but it will

Well I talk to them, but to me it's like there is just a physical appearance using words, but I don't fundamentally feel like it's an another person. There is a glitch in the matrix, if I fully felt it it should be enlightenment from what I know conceptually.

I don't understand what you're saying (no joke)

Just googled Shibari, well, I guess I'm in for a long jogging

lol It still doesn't feel like you really exist, just like the people I saw this morning and even my mom. But I'm still helping you

@Charlotte I don't know, that's precisely why I'm doing shadow work on that. I don't want to limit myself and others out of fear by bullshitting myself. Probably not the case, but until it does not trigger me at all when I think deeply about it, and when I actually talk about it with the gf, then there is no real decision you can make, because if there is fear the decision/preference is biased. Don't go too far too quick though, start a session of 30 minutes every week, that's already pretty intense if you do it right with a fear that really holds you back.

You basically go down very deep in you and find your hidden fears and face them in your mind, again and again until the fear dissolves. Well it dissolves in your mind but in practice you will still fear it at some level. For example one of my fear is to be in an open relationship, and even though it doesn't makes me feel bad when I think about it, I'm pretty sure that when I'll actually do it, there will be plenty of fear. So you'll get almost never triggered when you talk about those fears, which is good because it means that in lot of situations you'll act more consciously, without being a reaction robot. @Charlotte Everytime you get triggered, note the situation with some key words to remember what was the discussion or event. Then when you are calm enough and have some time, you force yourself to realize what is the problem there, and imagine a situation where you live that.

Check my signature.

He's a teacher that speaks from a place of pure love, way more than most teacher.

The only thing news does is to fill your mind with subjects to debate. There is zero substance in them ( it's just beliefs, you don't experience any of it), and you never need it to have meaningful conversations. People will think you're weird, but who cares ... I stopped one year ago, and I've never been happier. Your choice.

Be persistent and go see all the employement agency of your coty once pa week. You'll find something at some point, just don't give up

Whether or not there is really something that is doing it or if it's automatic here doesn't really matter. You can definitely focus on it, it's a choice, or at least appears like a choice. Just gotta practice more.

Trust me, you really don't

I think there is some truth there. My ex was a person that has been beaten by his brother all his life until 2 years ago, and had things like this very frequently. She was also very afraid of the dark, couldn't take night stroll and her own, even then she couldn't go where it was too dark.

I'm glad you made it

I'm sorry dude What is your job situation ? In such a case your first priority should be to have your own place.

I know that conceptually, but I try not to think of any concepts anymore, which apparently is working @Key Elements Can't do that, it's way too cold outside, I would just get sick. I definitely walk a lot though. @Leo Gura The word depression was too much I know, but it is just so strong and I forgot it could happen. Too cocky, get dickslapped by life

There is so many girls out there, you don't need her specifically. Just dump her if she continue to see him after you were very clear you don't like it. From what you've said she could already cheating on you, she just is very good at making this casual, so casual that she tells you about it right in front of your face.

Do they actually harm you physically ?

But when I write stuff like that, the words just come, nothing is from me. It just feels great when there is no mind to try to get some identification out of it, but you can't praise anyone for it. So what the fuck is amazing there, I need to investigate.

The body is really weird. If I'm not lost in an activity, It's like my energy body is all there is (physically speaking). It's empty, wet full, and I started to notice it moving by itself very elegantly, as if it was moving by itself (even though I still think I control it).

Another thing I noticed is how everything has an «aura» all around it. It's not something visual because the thing observed is exactly the same. Don't know what that is, it's obvious when people talk to me or when I look at a scene without focusing on anything particular.

I think she look for friend that she can meet on a weekly basis, not online friendship.

Yes but sometimes when you know you are having a lucid dream, and the dream doesn't stop, and you want to awake, It can turn into a, I don't the word but something like a traumatic experience, because you know it isn't real but still can't do anything. Hopefully I know that if you let go the dream can be quiet nice or at least not unpleasant. But I don't know how to let go, if it was that easy I would have done it, or I just want to suffer more, which would be sick but at this point It wouldn't surprise me.

I don't even know if you even exist, or anything for that matter, this is so fucked up.