Shin

Nothing particular to say about this day, just woke up and doing some sport, Then studied for college and doing the usual stuff at night. What I did : 40 minutes of meditations 20 minutes of work out 5 minutes of affirmations of being honest Woke up 45 minutes earlier 4 hours of study (for college) 1h30 to make this thread + 30 minutes of comtemplation while doing it 30 minutes of reading What I didn't do: Classical Self-inquiry

@Vitamine Water (Didn't want to spam your journal) Really ? If I get a wet dream (like this night), I feel pretty drained. Not as drained as if I intentionally let it all out, but still drained. Wet dream in my experience looks like it replace 33 to 50% of sperm, so it's still a significant amount. Don't ask how I got those numbers though ?

Had some fun making some analogies from the Matrix and I though it would be interesting to share. I’m not saying, by those analogies that the makers of the film actually intended to hint what I’m going to say, nor that the points I’m going to make are true (I’m not enlightened). Here there is a hint that taking some psychedelics (5-meo), mystical experiences (Samadhi) will turn you into a seeker for life. The blue pill is never having enough faith to seek one of those experiences, and continue to live an ordinary life. The red pill is having the courage to have one, taking the risk to see that everything you thought to be true is a lie. Pretty straight forward teaching about how what we call « reality » as no more legitimacy than our dreams. There is no way to differentiate the two, because unless you have a lucid dream, you have no idea you’re dreaming. Your last dream was also full of realistics perceptions (electrical signals interpreted by your « brain »). So by definition, there is never a time that you can be sure that this life is « real » in the traditional sense of the term. Early line from Neo in the movie, it hint something extremely simple. If you actually stay alone for a long enough time, and if you had some experiences in lucid dreaming and/or mushrooms/psychedelics, you can’t say you’re not dreaming. You would honestly not know. Pointing to something the human mind hates. It simply means that no matter how much concepts and « knowledge » you think you learned through the teachings you read/heard, it actually doesn’t matter that much. Basic understandings are necessary (to not think you’re going mad), but aside from this, continuing to endlessly learn or hear about non-duality is just a waste of time. Walking the path is being life itself, actually being in a meditative state all the time, self-inquiring and comtemplate all the time, until your reality crumbles. That can only be done by doing the practice over and over, not by reciting texts, not by getting a kick from your last favorite guru, not by discussing all of this with someone else. The only thing that matter is the practices, which you will realize in the end, are just your natural state of being. A spiritual master can only make you wonder what you are, make you question your direct experience. It’s the only thing he can do. They want you to be your own guru, because they know they can only help you to realize the above point … That’s one of the most common teaching that all spiritual guide will tell you. In this case it lacks the term « belief », because your all life is a belief in itself … Your mind must become detached from every ideologies, every assumptions about how « reality » works. That’s how the truth will be seen, how you can « make yourself prone » to see it. Everything you think is a belief, only your actual experience (perceptions) is real, not only that, but your actual experience is based on your assumptions that runs deep in your unconscious mind. If you think you’re a human being, those perceptions are highly misinterpreted. The only way to know what you are is to be what you are. You can’t think infinity, by definition it is infinite compared to you … So the only way is to realize you’re it. You can’t realize something if you already think you know how it works. That’s the reason why almost everyone will tell you spirituality is bullshit. Nobody can make you see what a spiritual awakening is, it’s an internal realization. It will always sounds like a religious dogma, because you will need FAITH to start the journey, Either by an innate spiritual wisdom, or by years/decades of deep suffering. It explains why there is « supernatural » phenomenons in the world, Which is easy to understand if you grasp there is no such thing as a « reality ». If everything you will ever experience are « dreams », then there is no limit to what can be experienced in them. You can have a dream where there is 99,999% of the sentient being in it that thinks supernatural phenomenons are impossible though, which in return makes this dream appears overly materialistic and scientific … Direct pointers to your true nature. As a human being you may have been on the path for just a few years, but the truth has always been there, for eternity. Not only it has always been there, but it loves itself (you) inconditionally, and wants itself (YOU) to awaken. This quote has a double meaning. It teachs that no one but you can know if you’re enlightened, there is no need for an external validation. An insight has authority regardless of how it is explained, or how unlikely it looks like. It also subtly says, that being the one « god » is the same as being in love, or more exactly being love … Everything you experience IS the truth, all of it. You are EVERYTHING, there is no distinction between « your name » and whatever perceptions you experience. That’s why it is always there, that’s why you can feel it wherever you go, whatever you do, and whatever you think. Your hand is as much godlike than the Buddha himself. Everything you look in your room right now is god. Every sounds you hear right now is god. Every sensations in your body is god. And GOD is YOU.

Or we only see so much coincidences because we want to see them ?

Do you guys focus on the pain, or do you focus on something else ?

Leo is an INTP So when he says that it is extremely important to learn about everything, he's talking about what is important for him. To some degree that is true that you still need to learn new things and to develop yourself, but not to the degree he does. INTP learn about everything on high doses, because it's their kick, it's how their brain function, it's how they gets fulfillement out of life. So if you have a natural tendency to mostly focus on one thing/goal, don't listen to Leo when he says you have to learn lots of stuff, just focus on the thing you truly wants to achieve, and learn things on the side (like 30 minutes of reading a day for example). If your goal is to awaken, you will lose years/decades by doing all the homework and books Leo tells you to do/read. In fact I'm pretty sure it's one of the main reason Leo isn't awaken yet, but again it's how his personality is, so it isn't a problem for him, but it could be one for you.

The distractions continues, today it was about sleeping until 11AM. I'm not sure if it's a good distraction, cause it let me practice being aware in pretty cool dreams Nonetheless it was still a distraction, but I have no shame or annoyance about it, it again felt like I had no control. At one point I just decided to get up, out of the blue with no real reasons or particular will about it, it just happenened. I noticed a drop in interest to be on the forum, there is nothing that It can teach or help me about waking up now. I know already all the concepts, and they are more of a burden than anything else currently, I need direct experiences. Being on the forum or answering to people on the phone makes me think too much/makes me stay in duality, and right now I have no interest in that, I just want to be. The self-inquiry was quite interesting today, realized some things experientially that was only concepts before, and still are on some deep levels, but at least there is substantial progress: SDS meditation is fun, pain is not what we think at all, it is just a perception like anything else, it is neither good or bad. That's another thing that is worth having a deep experience about it, and not just as a concept. It already started to changes how I experience life, for example, cold is way easier to handle. You can literally just feel the cold without any negative aspect of it, you just notice it's there, and it has no effect on you. On the surface level you might feel annoyed by it, but internally it doesn't matter, it doesn't change anything if you surrender to it. What I did: 30 minutes of reading 20 minutes of work out 50 minutes of meditation 5 minutes affirmation of being honest 2 hours of taking notes on leo last video 45 minutes of self-inquiry

I'm just saying that if one feels the desire to focus solely on a particular goal at a particular time, he should focus on that goal and not learn/study lots of different stuff if it doesn't feel genuine.

But that's just philosophy, I only care about the harsh cold f….

Actually I should have posted that in the Self-Actualization forum. If a moderator could switch it without fucking up the layout, that would be great

What about sharing the notes we take for each episode ? We might interpret things differently, and even miss some elements that didn't appear important to us but are to other people ! Please share (and save in your OneNote) Notes from "Spiral Dynamics - Important Insights"

But then Leo is bullshit too ?

This night I tried to awaken in a lucid dream. I knew I was this entity called "Shin" In "real life" dreaming this other "Shin" in a parallel universe. I cried I lot, because I was seeing that everything was just a projection of my mind, none of it was what I thought "real" meant. I said try, because being lucid in a dream can't be the same exact thing, since when you're lucid you can definitely still be identified with the mind, and it's just being lucid in that particular part of the whole, not the whole in itself. It is a good exercice nonetheless, because you still have a huge shift in your awareness on that level. I noticed the weeks I meditate a lot, I have an enhanced ability to appreciate being conscious of simple things, and simply being there without doing anything in particular. This is more satisfying than anything else, it's the "state" you want to get by trying to achieve everything you do really. Might as well have it by default and never have to chase anything The evening was quite funny, I had enormous resistance to meditate more and to self-inquire, and I think it's because all day I was too close to some kind of breakthrough. So I distracted myself with Daredevil season 3, which I don't even enjoy that much watching, but hey, gotta do something, ANYTHING, otherwise you will discover something important I even had the beginning of a heart attack when I meditate at that time, as a warning to not continue further What I did: 20 minutes of work out 40 minutes of meditation 5 minutes of affirmations of being honest 30 minutes of reading What I didn't do: Self-inquiry

Whatever will happen is fine, it's not like, I control anything

Do you control your heartbeat ? Do you control it when you're in deep sleep ? You think you control the rest of your body, but this is an illusion. You do not control your hand more than you control your heartbeat.

Worst case scenario I become Charles Xavier ?

First few sits of SDS Everytime you stop SDS

In one sit ? My god guys, I only have one subtle addiction left and I try to hold onto it like crazy, and when it's too uninteresting to do it, I sleep 4 more hours than necessary. I don't know if the 4 more sleeping is a good enough distraction, cause I can practice being mindful in those dreams ???

Define being a dick. To me it's just being normal, it was just my nice guy mind that was interpreting things that weren't there.

I don't share my meat ?

I will read your journal then maybe I'll be able to help.

If I try to make something happen I get kicked out of the dream ?

I will just leave here what are the main reasons that I often found on the internet or by talking to people on why it is a good idea. I'm not gonna give any links, it's a condensed of everything I heard and read. If you need proofs, there is enough evidences and studies on Google and YouTube ready for you to read and Watch I'm curious about what people in here who have experience in it can say about it (what is true or not in their experience), And if they could share tips on how to start (for cheap, I'm a student ) It's more healthy for you, there is a decrease in certain type of illness (cancer, diabetes and heart disease for example), you will avoid toxic chemicals (to an extent), it boosts your immunity system, you will have a better digestion, and it makes you live longer. It will instantly shield you against any viral infection from any meat whatsoever (shit will hit the fan one day). It helps against World Hunger, because if you think of it, all the grains and water that are used to feed animals could be used to feed hungry people, directly. It gives you more Energy than a regular diet, you will feel less sleepy and more alert after your meal. It reduce global warming, because livestocks generate an absurdly high amount of gases It makes you thinner, that's an obvious one. It will give you a better sex life, becouse it will increase your libido, you will have a better blood flow, and since you have more Energy, well ... It eases animal suffering, since you will not eat any meat, you will therefore not support the atrocity done on animals anymore (at least not on this aspect). It will be less expensive, that's a no-brainer, raising animals cost more than producing vegetables, therefore the cost of a meal containing meat is necessary higher on average (we're talking about self-cook meal obviously). Becouse these guys were: The Buddha, Leonardo De Vinci, Gandhi, Albert Einstein and your Lord and Savior Leo ( )

I don't know if it really helps to limit wet dreams, but those are things I try to avoid: Getting in bed while wanting to pee (or waking up in the middle of the night and not peeing) Sleeping with my dick touching the bed Please tell me if it changes anything