Shin

The distractions continues, today it was about sleeping until 11AM. I'm not sure if it's a good distraction, cause it let me practice being aware in pretty cool dreams Nonetheless it was still a distraction, but I have no shame or annoyance about it, it again felt like I had no control. At one point I just decided to get up, out of the blue with no real reasons or particular will about it, it just happenened. I noticed a drop in interest to be on the forum, there is nothing that It can teach or help me about waking up now. I know already all the concepts, and they are more of a burden than anything else currently, I need direct experiences. Being on the forum or answering to people on the phone makes me think too much/makes me stay in duality, and right now I have no interest in that, I just want to be. The self-inquiry was quite interesting today, realized some things experientially that was only concepts before, and still are on some deep levels, but at least there is substantial progress: SDS meditation is fun, pain is not what we think at all, it is just a perception like anything else, it is neither good or bad. That's another thing that is worth having a deep experience about it, and not just as a concept. It already started to changes how I experience life, for example, cold is way easier to handle. You can literally just feel the cold without any negative aspect of it, you just notice it's there, and it has no effect on you. On the surface level you might feel annoyed by it, but internally it doesn't matter, it doesn't change anything if you surrender to it. What I did: 30 minutes of reading 20 minutes of work out 50 minutes of meditation 5 minutes affirmation of being honest 2 hours of taking notes on leo last video 45 minutes of self-inquiry

I'm just saying that if one feels the desire to focus solely on a particular goal at a particular time, he should focus on that goal and not learn/study lots of different stuff if it doesn't feel genuine.

But that's just philosophy, I only care about the harsh cold f….

Actually I should have posted that in the Self-Actualization forum. If a moderator could switch it without fucking up the layout, that would be great

What about sharing the notes we take for each episode ? We might interpret things differently, and even miss some elements that didn't appear important to us but are to other people ! Please share (and save in your OneNote) Notes from "Spiral Dynamics - Important Insights"

But then Leo is bullshit too ?

This night I tried to awaken in a lucid dream. I knew I was this entity called "Shin" In "real life" dreaming this other "Shin" in a parallel universe. I cried I lot, because I was seeing that everything was just a projection of my mind, none of it was what I thought "real" meant. I said try, because being lucid in a dream can't be the same exact thing, since when you're lucid you can definitely still be identified with the mind, and it's just being lucid in that particular part of the whole, not the whole in itself. It is a good exercice nonetheless, because you still have a huge shift in your awareness on that level. I noticed the weeks I meditate a lot, I have an enhanced ability to appreciate being conscious of simple things, and simply being there without doing anything in particular. This is more satisfying than anything else, it's the "state" you want to get by trying to achieve everything you do really. Might as well have it by default and never have to chase anything The evening was quite funny, I had enormous resistance to meditate more and to self-inquire, and I think it's because all day I was too close to some kind of breakthrough. So I distracted myself with Daredevil season 3, which I don't even enjoy that much watching, but hey, gotta do something, ANYTHING, otherwise you will discover something important I even had the beginning of a heart attack when I meditate at that time, as a warning to not continue further What I did: 20 minutes of work out 40 minutes of meditation 5 minutes of affirmations of being honest 30 minutes of reading What I didn't do: Self-inquiry

Whatever will happen is fine, it's not like, I control anything

Do you control your heartbeat ? Do you control it when you're in deep sleep ? You think you control the rest of your body, but this is an illusion. You do not control your hand more than you control your heartbeat.

Worst case scenario I become Charles Xavier ?

First few sits of SDS Everytime you stop SDS

In one sit ? My god guys, I only have one subtle addiction left and I try to hold onto it like crazy, and when it's too uninteresting to do it, I sleep 4 more hours than necessary. I don't know if the 4 more sleeping is a good enough distraction, cause I can practice being mindful in those dreams ???

Define being a dick. To me it's just being normal, it was just my nice guy mind that was interpreting things that weren't there.

I don't share my meat ?

I will read your journal then maybe I'll be able to help.

If I try to make something happen I get kicked out of the dream ?

I will just leave here what are the main reasons that I often found on the internet or by talking to people on why it is a good idea. I'm not gonna give any links, it's a condensed of everything I heard and read. If you need proofs, there is enough evidences and studies on Google and YouTube ready for you to read and Watch I'm curious about what people in here who have experience in it can say about it (what is true or not in their experience), And if they could share tips on how to start (for cheap, I'm a student ) It's more healthy for you, there is a decrease in certain type of illness (cancer, diabetes and heart disease for example), you will avoid toxic chemicals (to an extent), it boosts your immunity system, you will have a better digestion, and it makes you live longer. It will instantly shield you against any viral infection from any meat whatsoever (shit will hit the fan one day). It helps against World Hunger, because if you think of it, all the grains and water that are used to feed animals could be used to feed hungry people, directly. It gives you more Energy than a regular diet, you will feel less sleepy and more alert after your meal. It reduce global warming, because livestocks generate an absurdly high amount of gases It makes you thinner, that's an obvious one. It will give you a better sex life, becouse it will increase your libido, you will have a better blood flow, and since you have more Energy, well ... It eases animal suffering, since you will not eat any meat, you will therefore not support the atrocity done on animals anymore (at least not on this aspect). It will be less expensive, that's a no-brainer, raising animals cost more than producing vegetables, therefore the cost of a meal containing meat is necessary higher on average (we're talking about self-cook meal obviously). Becouse these guys were: The Buddha, Leonardo De Vinci, Gandhi, Albert Einstein and your Lord and Savior Leo ( )

I don't know if it really helps to limit wet dreams, but those are things I try to avoid: Getting in bed while wanting to pee (or waking up in the middle of the night and not peeing) Sleeping with my dick touching the bed Please tell me if it changes anything

Get a room you two ???

Ok, you probably don't want to know this, but here it goes: Dolphins kill their babies to fuck their female more often. If that doesn't work, they rape them, in gang …

It's not about the size, but how big you can make it feel like with your masculine presence deep within us

I'm starting to be uninterested to do almost anything except sitting and being. It's not that doing anything else is boring, I can actually enjoy it if I want, but there is just no point to do those activities anymore. I was wondering just a few weeks ago when I'll finally have the will to get this to the next step and actually do some real work for several hours a day, then just like everything else it just happens after a certain point of time, by itself. Not that it was easy to get there, but it's not me who make the final decision to change something for good. It's more like at some point the will to appear by itself, and I just notice it and embrace it. From now on I don't know what will I actually do with all this free time. Meditate for more than 2 hours a day seems overkill, even though doing that as a challenge might be interesting. I was more thinking about just sitting and being, probably doing some self-inquiry too. Now all that being said, I have no idea what I will do anyway, because like I said it doesn't feel like I'm really in control, even though it feels like it from a surface level. I just know from that point on, that I will use most of my free time to discover what I am, or simply be what I am without knowing it, simply because I can't do something else. When I did self-inquiry today, I realized something interesting again. I can't be conscious of a part of my body without having a mental image of it. As subtle as it is, I can't feel my body without having a 3rd person image of it, even if it's very blurry or almost indiscernible without paying close attention. It is as if I can't feel the raw sensation without some identification. I remember very vividly in some dreams that I could feel the raw perceptions without any identification, which resulted in no mental image too. It doesn't even make sense anyway, why would I need to have a mental image of a perception, can't I just feel the perception and knowing what it is without a mental projection ? Another thing I noticed, is that my attention is always either on the body or the mind. It really feels like it's forced, as if somehow I was only, and on purpose, experiencing this body/mind and nothing else. Like I am blocked in this body/mind, and it doesn't feel quite right, something is amiss. The last insight I had, and this one seems very simplistic and straightforward, but it really isn't. The insight is that you have to be, be so fully there that you become aware of what you always have been. That seems like a really stupid insight to read, but in practice when you have it it changes how you do everything. There is no race or need to go anywhere, no pressure to meditate or self-inquiry enough, not even a need for it. But this is when it gets paradoxical, it's that you know that all those things aren't really necessary, but they are interesting to do nonetheless. When you've done your hours at work, when you've socialize a bit with your friends, did your healthy habits of the day, there is nothing else to do anyway, except just to sit and be there, being alive and feeling it, not trying to. There is no need to try to be, you already are What I did: 5 minutes affirmations of being honest 1h30 of meditation 30 minutes of self-inquiry 30 minutes of reading 1h45 of taking notes of the last video of Leo our lord and savior 20 minutes of work out

I don't know if it's the right thing to do, just that it worked for me. You could also ask yourself how being a victim actually help you: How much suffering does it brings How much time do you lose thinking negatively How it doesn't help and even make suffer other people etc

Did you try to simply watch the thoughts patterns without judging them for an extended period of time (several months) ? (I'm not taunting you, I'm really asking)