Shane Hanlon

This is such a wonderful question! And something so few people care to ask. Thank you for asking it If these are the kind of things you care about, your life will be a gift to yourself and everyone who is lucky enough to come in contact with you. Firstly true selflessness is not about which actions you do or do not do. Rather focus on the place you are coming from when you take action. Practice acting out of love and checking in with yourself throughout the day. Practice complimenting people simply because you want to make their day better. Selflessness is simple. It can be expressed in every moment. It could just be a smile. When you grow into a healthy competent person yourself, Love and selflessness exude naturally. Meditate. Grow a greater understanding of reality, selflessness, and love. With deeper understanding selflessness also begins to exude naturally. Be deeply present with others. People want to feel seen and heard more than almost anything. They want to connect. People have told me before that it feels like they are the only person in the world when they are with me. Learn to be radically empathetic. Caring about others' perspectives as much as you care about your own is selfless. Understand that everybody is trying their best to live a happy life. No one likes being unhappy. But people get lost and confused. Life is hard! Notice that Love can help bring them back. People need to feel loved. Love melts all problems. Learn to love others for no reason at all. Notice that the same Love you feel for all is equally applicable to yourself. Love yourself.

Congratulations Romer! That is really exciting! Thank you for sharing

Hey Rishabh, thank you for sharing this. Social situations can be confusing and painful. It takes a lot of practice to understand it. Agreed, People want to be loved because they earned it with their energy and personality over time. They want to be loved for who they are, not just what they look like. If you say you love them without knowing them, just because they are beautiful you are loving them for the wrong reasons. It comes across as weak. That you would love anyone just because they are beautiful. All things considered, you are brave for taking on this challenge of improving with women. Just know that while you are learning, you may have many harsh and unpleasant interactions. But as you begin to understand the nuances things will get much better. It is worth doing.

@Linda22 I can tell you have everything you need to make it through this. You have a strong heart.

A person must feel loved before they can ever truly hear feedback. Love goes so deep.

Hey Linda, I am sorry that you are going through all of this again. It sounds really hard. And you sound so brave for taking on this challenge. <3 You also seem so kind and so loving. I see that in you. Your responses to others are so full of gratitude. I also dealt with social anxiety in high school. One of the things that helped me was changing the paradigm I was coming from when I was interacting with others. I noticed that when I was anxious, I was always thinking about myself. How do I look? Do I look weak? What should I say? All sorts of thoughts and feelings about myself would come blasting into my mind. I also noticed that in the brief moments I wasn't anxious, it was when I was thinking about making others happier and just flowing with the energy. I noticed if I changed my paradigm from "How do I look?" to "How can I make this person a little happier right now?" My social life changed. Instead of leading with fear, I was leading with love. It took me a long time to fully implement this, and I am still working on it today. But being aware of my internal dialogue and purposefully changing it towards benefitting others was a social life saver for me. It helped me get out of my own head. Thank you for sharing your story as I am sure so many people can relate to what you are dealing with. I love you and I wish the greatest blessing for you. You deserve it.

Hey Aakash, Sorry you are feeling such a roller coaster of emotions. I have experienced something similar and it is not a fun time. I am glad that you are so emotionally aware of what is going on though. It allows you to make a decision out of love and compassion even in the midst of such internal chaos. My advice would be: The first thing I'd say is to understand how important it is to prioritize your own well-being. No one else will make sure you are feeling safe and healthy. You must do this. Secondly, I would say, out of love and compassion for your own well-being... 1.) Create strong clear boundaries with her. Make it known and clear that you feel unsafe in your relationship with her. Come up with boundaries that would make you feel safe and happy in the relationship. They could be "No hanging out with guys alone." or "No sleeping in the same bed with other guys." or anything that makes you feel safe. If she breaks these boundaries then you break up. They have to be strong. They have to be for your own well-being. They have to give you your joy and happiness back. 2.) Break up with her. Not because she is wrong or bad or anything. But simply because you will be happier not worrying about her all of the time. You can focus on your passions and the joy in your life. This will also give you the freedom to meet new people. There are others out there for you, if you look hard enough you will find them. Again Aakash, sorry you are going through this. It is stressful, but I love you and wish you the best <3

Hey man, I'm sorry you had to go through all that. <3 On the positive side, it seems like the worst is behind you!! Thank you for sharing. It is helpful to understand what is going on in the minds of conspiracy theorists. And it makes me so grateful for my ability to decipher them. And that I grew up in a family that didn't force religion on me. I am lucky enough to have a mother that doesn't think I am going to be punished for eternity because I am not involved in her religion. I love you and I am so happy that you are on the path toward a happier existence. One step at a time <3

I feel like we as a collective might benefit from retiring the beta alpha labels. They just seem to confuse people. Being more conscious gives you more access to understanding reality and your self. Typically this also includes letting go of self-doubt and self-consciousness people harbor within themselves. Ultimately learn to become more conscious for its own sake. And if you're worried about being a "beta", learn to socialize with men and women more effectively. But they are disparate pursuits.

The more people on the planet, the more lives you are able to touch with your wisdom and love.

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I have learned many practices over the years. I respect and see the merit in every practice. However, I feel like I am ready to go as deep as I can with my practice. I have heard many people give the advice that you should choose one and stick with it. Some people even go as far as to say that mixing practices can be dangerous. Is there a most effective practice? Is it actually subjective which practice will be best for you? If so how do I figure that out? Is it dangerous to do two practices simultaneously? Practices I've learned and my experience: - Concentration practice (focus on breath) - Learned from books and was the first practice I tried. - Vipassana practice (deconstructing sensations) - Been to 5 Goenka style retreats - Zen practice (sit and do nothing) - some experience trying it in daily sittings - Pure being practice (just be) - Learned from Adyashanti and Kundalini exposed, practiced a decent amount in daily sittings. - Self-inquiry (Awareness on the sense of self) - Learned from Ramana Maharishi books and Ramaji book, Practiced in daily sittings. - A Course in Miracles - Haven't really given it a serious go, but seems interesting. - Different Yoga techniques - Sorry I know I am lumping a ton of different practices together here. I just haven't studied or attempted these enough to be able to differentiate them.

@Oeaohoo Do you have any suggested resources to get a better idea of what you are talking about? Ideally not too time intensive, so I will actually do the learning.

This is so valid. Thanks for your perspective!

It didn't seem like this was his problem. He was already deeply into psychedelics and meditation. Then he felt it wasn't working for him and felt like he was getting signs to look towards Christianity. I do think this could have been a problem of his. He was into all of the shiny things in nonduality/spirituality without seemingly having an understanding of them.

LOL

Ya I think that makes the most sense. How do we help people who struggle with this kind of thing?

Why is there a disconnect between highly trained meditators and God-Realization? And also why is there no discourse between proponents of God-Realization and highly trained meditators?

Ya fair enough. I have always just taken the test from https://www.16personalities.com/free-personality-test without thinking about anything else. Ya could be. Could some parts of us change and others not? It doesn't seem totally out of the realm of possibility that someone could genuinely transform parts of themselves over their lives.

This is particularly interesting to me since I have taken the Myers Briggs test at different points in my life. The results have changed significantly over time. The first time I took the test was as a sophomore in high school (over 10 years ago.) My result was ENTJ. That felt very accurate to me at the time. Then I took it again a few years later (around 2015) a few different times and got ENTP. Similar but a sizable difference. Since then I have done a ton of spiritual and development work. I have a whole new way of making sense of the world. A year ago I took the test again and got INFJ. I also feel it does a great job of representing me now.

I've found Earthling Ed to be the most compassionate example of a veganism advocate. https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCVRrGAcUc7cblUzOhI1KfFg

I have before for a few weeks to see what all of the no-fap hype was about. Maybe my experience is atypical or I didn't do it for long enough, but all I felt was pent-up aggression and more sexual thoughts than usual. Huh, I understand what you mean. YouTube always takes my time like that. I guess I'm lucky, I've never had a problem being addicted to porn.

Serious Question What makes porn inherently bad?