randomancer

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Everything posted by randomancer

  1. Hi all, During the last weeks I've experienced some nightmares and most notably last night I had one which got me thinking a bit. Last night I had a nightmare, of course a bit blurry but in the dream I was in my family home which got kind of invaded by violent burglars that were after me, my family and my possessions. The feelings I had were mainly helplessness, a willing to protect myself, my family and my possessions, and fear. It felt like I was getting closer to my death as I was threatened with a knife to my throat, unable to defend myself. But I also felt brave as the feeling of protecting myself and family with violence was stronger than the feeling of fear. At this point all the feelings I mentioned was getting stronger and I asked my mother in the dream if this was just a dream, hoping she would reply "yes", but she replied that it was unforunately not just a dream. Then I died/woke up. The reason I am making a thread is because it felt quite similar to how intense trips are described, and I remember Leo saying something about if there is no reference point outside of the "dimension" you are experiencing, you can never know whether you are in a dream or not, which is the case for fish in the water, humans when dreaming or tripping intensely, or (unenlightened) humans when just living. Anyway, when I woke up from the dream it felt like I had overcome something, and felt more brave than before. It seemed like there were some similarities with a bad trip - as you feel helpless, scared, haunted by demons etc - but if integrated properly maybe better off afterwards. Maybe I'm extrapolating a bit too much from just a dream. Anyone has any thoughts on this? (Note: I myself have a quite limited experience of tripping, and have had a very peaceful upbringing with zero violence in my life, currently age 27)
  2. Hi, I eat basically no processed foods, a lot of veggies/fruits however not vegetarian (yet). Very aware of my fitness etc. I want to start drinking a healthy morning shake and have been considering what to put inside it. Reading around I would like to put like 20 different ingredients in. However, I would like to limit it down to like 5 "healthy ingredients". What I've mainly considered so far is chlorella, spirulina, maca root. What would you guys suggest to be the best choices to add into the shake, if you could only choose a few, say about 5? Thanks in advance! Edit: although I am open-minded to some pseudo scientifical health foods, I prefer stuff that is either scientifical or stem from some ancient asian traditions etc all input is welcome
  3. Hi guys, For a long time I've been very curious about psychadelics, but have not taken the steps towards trying it. Fortunately a friend of mine had psilocybe cubensis and I finally took the step, and I have now 5g in a bag in my hand. It feels somewhat unreal that I on my own initiative just bought "drugs". Even though I am very open-minded, all the years of stigma around the subject still makes it feel a little weird. But I am sure I must try this since I've considered it for so long. I've watched Actualized videos for pretty much 1 year exactly and also began meditating daily every day since, so I've conceptually somewhat grasped what awareness, ego and non-duality is about which I think reduce the chance of me freaking out. My plan is to take 1g dried shrooms alone in my apartment, with food prepared. And I'm obviously doing it the Actualized way, not too interested in seeing flying elephants for the sake of fun. Anyway, since I expect the trip to last for 4-8 hours I wonder what I should do all the time? Even though I've meditated for a year I've mostly done 15 min sessions and a few 30 min sessions before. Meditate? Music? Movie? Just sit in the sofa watching a painting and thinking? Considered walking in to the woods close by with shades, but there are quite a lot of people that like to walk/jog there so I'm not sure. All tips are welcome, I have read much on different sources but hopefully you can prepare me even more. Thanks in advance (Note: I don't have any traumas or something of that kind. Had a very safe and boring youth, although quite bad confidence and slight social anxiety until age 20. Now I'm 24 and it has turned around quite radically)
  4. I hear you about the fasting guys. My only concern about that is that I tend to get in a bad mood without food for a long time, and I don't want to start the trip in a downward spiral. But maybe the pros outweigh the cons of fasting anyway. I train pretty hard 6 times a week so I get hungry fairly quickly (inclueded that I am running on a caloric deficit atm). Could probably solve the fasting by just tripping in the morning though. Do you recommend eat something during the trip or not? Heard you usually dont get hungry, but during normal conditions that long of fasting would definitely affect my mood
  5. Hi again and thanks for all the replies. Here is a quick summary. Yesterday was "the big day", stayed sober the day before which was midsummer, one of the biggest celebrations of the year in Sweden. 10.00: Woke up slightly nervous, but after like 15 mins my confidence and determination went up. 10:15 Had a banana and a small protein pudding (200g) and a cup of coffee. Cleaned up some stuff in the apartment, meditated for about 20 mins. 11:15 I chewed the 1g of shrooms which tasted surprisingly OK. Took a walk for about 20 mins in the forest. It had rained the whole night and the air was slightly damp still. Surrounded by leaf trees the air felt so fresh and I felt super aware. To be honest I wanted to stay in that place for the trip, but since I did not know how I would react I went back to my apartment. 11.35 quick shower followed by 30-40 mins of deliberate meditation. 12.15 around this time I was starting to get a little impatient if I had taken too little, but reassured myself that it could take up to 1,5 hours in some cases. Remaining seated the chair I was meditating in and did some kind of meditation with eyes opened, basically waiting for something to happen. 12.30 I kind of gave up, starting to google on my phone about threshold dosages and come up time. At this point, however, I felt a slight high in my head. I guess I kind of felt something. I basically felt slightly more aware, a slight increase in sensitivity in my hands and possibly a small increase in mood. Hard to distinguish whether it was because of the shrooms / just increased awareness from meditating / just placebo. A bit disappointed, I felt hungry and ate some stuff. Around 6pm I went to a family dinner, boy if they knew what I did earlier that day haha. I love my parents but they are a bit too narrow minded to be told about this. Anyway, to conclude. Not gonna lie, I am a bit disappointed. I knew I took a small dose and most recommended starting a bit higher so I did not expect anything big. However I do not regret the dosage. I now have a feel for 1) the potency and 2) how I respond to it. The initial barrier I had to even do it is now down and I feel ready to try a higher dose, which probably would have brought me a bit more anxiousness if I did it the first time. Now holidays are coming up so next time I can trip is in 5-7 weeks. That time I will probably go for 2g. Do you think I responded normally to the dosage of shrooms? Otherwise maybe the potency was not too good on the shrooms or I could be non-sensitive. Take care
  6. Oh and also. I usually drink coffee in the morning and it makes me in a good mood, more alert and motivated. Does it make any difference whether I drink before shrooms?
  7. Big thanks for all the advice guys! Regarding dosage I might step it up to 1-1,5g, we'll see. Some sources (like tripsafe.org) even advices to start with 0,8g. Hopefully I will trip this saturday, depending on how I feel. Not having a perfect day to trip the upcoming weekends unfortunately, but maybe doesn't need to be 100% perfect. This friday I'm having dinner for a birthday friend and will probably go to bed like 12.30pm, my normal bed time being 10.30pm. Not gonna drink so much wine. However, I've got plans to see a couple of other close friends that I have not met for a long time for dinner around 6-7pm on the day of the trip. Anyway my plan was to take the shrooms like 1-2 hours before I've woken up so I'm not sleepy. This would be around 10am I think. Also makes it easier to do it on an empty stomach as opposed to not eating for 6 hours in the middle of the day. What do you guys think about doing it without a sitter the first time? Is it unwise to do it alone even though its 'only' around 1g? Cheers
  8. Hello guys and girls, Been following Leo for a while and I interpret his stance on being employed vs being your own employer, that anyone who wants to fully self actualize must run ones own business. The last thing I would ever want is to be stuck at a 9-5 job which I don't enjoy going to. I don't know what the general stance here is on the bearing of "personality types", whether one should fully embrace the characteristics that come naturally or focus on improving the other ones. Now, there are some different theories about this, for example MBTI (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Myers–Briggs_Type_Indicator), but to keep this short we stick to a few basics. I am currently 24 and soon starting my master's degree in business & economics. On the journey of self improvement I ran across the personality types and a lot started to make a lot of sense, and also made me further contemplate my future. While a lot of the attributes differ depending on the situation, and there are indeed a lot of grey scales, I do strongly identify with the kind of personality that likes to be methodical and analytical as opposed to being spontaneous and creative. I view this as a strength, as I naturally and truly enjoy things like working in Excel, tracking performance, making graphs and forecasts etc. For example I overly track my progress in the gym (which is a passion), with percentages, total volume per movement, key ratios like strength per bodyweight, doing graphs and forecasts etc, not because it necessarily gives me better results but for the sake of enjoyment. The other side of the coin that usually comes with these traits, though, is that I am naturally very non-creative and want to know things work before I test them. (Side note: I am not super introverted, rather social, charismatic and make people laugh a lot, perhaps uncommon for the type?) Anyway, to the point. Right now my goal is becoming a business controller, and possibly CFO in the future. However, I don't want to be unhappy "climbing the corporate ladder", but want to feel fulfilled and actualized. Creating some innovative product and being an entrepreneur right now feels so inauthentic to me. Do you have any thoughts on what path I could take? Thinking of maybe working hard, gaining experience as a business controller in a large company and then become CFO of a smaller start-up company? Very grateful for any input/thoughts/experiences! /R
  9. Hi guys, I've developed quite a lot over the last years. Until I reached 20 I was shy, introverted and virgin with very low concioussness and self-esteem. Then I found the gym which worked like an upward spiral, I now have a lot more confidence, shredded body and get a lot of attention from women. Long story short, the passion for health and fitness got me into self development/self actualization I am now 24. Much thanks to Actualized I now employ more and more daily high-conciousness activities and cut the less resourceful stuff out, meditating every day, reading books every week and constantly try to apply them in practice as well as understanding the importance of pushing through comfort zones. I've got a bachelor's degree in business and economics and this fall I'm starting a master's degree in the same field, focused on business controlling. Watching a lot of Leo's videos I get the feeling that to be truly actualized, one has to run his own business and work for himself. (Atleast for now) I don't have an urge to run my own company at all, or maybe just don't know what I would do. My passions and interests are health, fitness, personal development and learning. I realize I keep rambling on, anyway the point of this thread was to ask for some insight on the topic of working for someone else as opposed to running your own business. When I hear Leo talk about working 9-5 or for someone else it sounds almost as that would be as bad as smoking or eating pizza every day. The reason why I ask is because even though I've raised my conciousness I still believe I'm only in the beginning of this journey.
  10. Thanks. Sounds cool! Unfortunately I live in Sweden and I guess the chances you do too are not that high. I don't know how much talking about myself and my story contributes to the topic. Anyway, if it makes a difference my strengths are mainly associated with non-creativite characteristics. Obviously don't wanna identify myself as a non-creative person, but creativity hasn't been my strongest side (yet?). Discipline, analysis, accuracy, patience etc. comes more naturally for me. To be come a successful self-employed I feel like one needs more of the creative traits, which makes me doubt self-employment. Usually I feel more comfortable gathering experience to thrive in things, as opposed to being intuitive. I don't know, maybe I'm just telling that story to my ego? Or maybe there are ways to embrace my strengths and use them in some way? I was thinking maybe the best thing is to embrace what comes natural for me, while obviously working on my weaker sides. But what could be a good path for that?