Spiral

@Miguel1 For me loneliness is not really about friendships. That’s a trap. A trap I was in for a long time. Notice when you are lonely. Is it at random parts of the day on random days? Or is it Friday evening when you don’t have any plans. And “everyone else” is out having fun? I get lonely when I haven’t socialized enough through out the week. Can that be at work? Talking to colleagues, sure. Maybe you grab lunch together? Great. If I’m working from home everyday or there is no one is at the office if I do go there. It gets lonely. It’s about getting your social needs met. Do you feel lonely on Wednesday at 14:32 at the office when you’re are at work. Probably not, it accumulates and show up later. Also make plans, like on Friday if you don’t have friends to get wasted with, go out, catch a movie or something. It doesn’t have to social at all.

It is unreasonable to expect girls to be ladies. It’s also unreasonable to be a gentleman for the same reason. That’s not a thing anymore.

I mean (usually drunk) girls at night clubs, often they approach me. They are not exactly hoping to play badminton. Not the hottest girl you can imagine, no but certainly good looking enough to date. I don’t really try to be a bad boy, that’s unintentional.

I find the concept of value confusing. I’m the most popular guy I know. However in the short term kind of way, I’m giving bad boy vibes. However I’m also permanently single. There are basically no girls who want to date me. This seems inconsistent with this concept.

In my experience people are actually quite flexible over long periods of time. As in if I almost exclusively hang out with feminine people I become more feminine myself, this takes time, months usually. Although in the moment there is not much flexibility.

I think this whole thing is easy. Men generally try to be honorable and women generally try to be good people. This is not the same thing and trying to be honorable with women gets you in trouble. Trying to force woman to be honorable is also going to cause massive issues. That’s where you get honor culture and oppression of women. The kind of thing you see in Afghanistan. A man trying to be a good person(only) with his fellow man is likely going to find himself in trouble. Between men honor is where it is at. Why? Because men value respect more and are not particularly adverse to use violence. It’s a survival adaptation. So how about guys interacting with women? Try to be a good person, that most likely what she will do. What does that mean in practice? If you don’t want to talk to her anymore, excuse yourself and leave. You don’t owe her the courtesy of staying in a conversation that doesn’t appeal to you. Is that perhaps slightly rude, probably. But that’s fine, you’re still a good person, she won’t kick your teeth out. This applies in general and woman will respect you for it, and like you more for it. Although don’t an ass of course, I think that goes without saying. Lastly in case people take this the wrong way, honor is mutual it’s not about you as a guy. Where as trying to a good person is

Don’t worry about past mistakes, go make new ones

I think if you’re are trying to find the perfect match you’ll either be single forever or catch the feels and just go for someone anyway. Although I think having the same preferences regarding dating activities, while in a relationship, is huge. A partner shouldn’t be everything, you should have trust, love and enjoy their company. That’s about it. They want lower taxes, you want higher? Fine that’s not important

I’m just a little girl in this regard, I mostly just want cuddles maybe I’m just lonely

I’ve never had sex outside of a bed

If I think you’ll be there for me when I need you. I think of you as a good friend

@AION I wouldn’t date a girls who’s tricky. Hot girls are overrated, it’s fun in the beginning. But personality is where it’s at

@Joseph Maynor If someone told you that they hangout with you just because they’d be lonely otherwise. Wouldn’t you find that off putting? Sort of like an insult?

I find friendships difficult. On the one hand I have a need to socialize, especially since I work alone and is single. While on the other hand I often don’t find myself enjoying the other people’s company, not really. It feels unfair to use people for social needs.

@enchanted Silly outfits have some perks. Cool people don’t make an effort to look cool, because why would they? The same concept goes for confidence and so on

Be careful not to confuse charm and charisma

Technically flirting is indirect. So compliments are not flirting at all ”So I like your hair” isn’t flirting, it’s just a statement. ”I only like girls with thin gray hair, so you’re not really my type” would be despite communicating the same thing

I think YouTube is an awful cesspool. People just try to make money and ensnare your attention

I also have low libido, although I don’t see the issue with this. I can think less about women and more about other more important things

If you’d like to be more feminine, socializing with girls/women exclusively will get you there. No hormones needed. I used to do this, and people assumed I was gay.

Respect is shown not something you need to say. While I appreciate respect more, a girl expressing love is more appealing. Assuming I’m also in love of course. Telling someone you respect them out of the blue comes off as suspicious. I’d never say that to anyone unless it’s relevant to a conversation

As with most topics I’d avoid them with people who are either not interested nor understand. In this particular case it’s also not meaningful, since the nature of reality is ineffable

Looks nice

This whole thing is like a spectrum, you either do canned lines. Or you become the type of guy, girls actually like. Or something in-between. Here is a pretty basic hard scripted way to do things. I’m kinda enjoying these to mix things up. Y for you G for girl. Y: Hey, can I get your opinion on something? G: sure Y: Do I look like a drug dealer? G: haha no Y: Two girls has already come up asking for weed. This is getting out of hand (you can say this with a joking tone if you like). Now you have a fun and useful frame for the rest of the interaction. Results may vary in countries were weed is legal

I’m melting here in Europe, great way to reduce libido