Chew211

"How do I...?" I suggest you bite the bullet and do it, and find out how to deal with it afterwards. This situation is unfitting for a self-respecting human being, and you know that. Once you break free, then you can get over your fear of dying alone.

I think it's something that's deeper than it being a part of our socio-evolutionary development. Hunter Gatherers "societies" had less conflict amongst each other. It wasn't practical to horde resources, and people were on the move. Here domination took the form of fighting against the environment to survive. (Beige-Purple) Agricultural societies is where you had specialization in violence and practicality when it came to hording resources. Here is where we see domination of one tribe over other, and within groups, hierarchies. (Red-Blue) So, no I don't think it's something that harps back to hunter gatherer times. I think it's a deeper part of masculine psychology-- it's just that the manifestations are dependant on life conditions.

For me the fight is against the world, through myself. It's channeled through building my body in the gym, reading hard philosophy that changes my world view, and working on becoming financially independent. It's approaching the attractive woman I see even when I feel nervous. It's doing the thing when I don't feel ready. And sometimes it's putting on boxing gloves and sparring with my friend. Some people channel it through video games. It's not that we want to physically fight, it's that the male instinct is to dominate-- an instinct that is beaten out of us so that society can function. There's a trade off between male instinct and societal function-- the key is maximizing your ability to act on your masculine instincts, while getting the most benefits from being part of society.

And an incorrect usage of "mile high club"-- it's something that you become a member of after doing it once. It's not something always occuring that you join in on, like an orgy.

What Emerald said, and also the jarring shattering of congruence. You started the conversation like a normal chat, and then suddenly try to make it sexual/humourous in a dirty way. I make dirty jokes with girls too, but either they are friends or I've already done the didily with them-- and also, in person, not over text.

Not pushy far enough and/or your escalation game needs work. One thing that works for me is that I am doing low key touching as we're hanging out, and as we talk I'm caressing her legs and stuff, and sexualizing the touching more and more. All this while talking or watching a movie. Then I start kissing the neck and fondling. And then the actual kiss, then clothes come off, and didily ensues. However I only escalation when in isolation where didily can happen.

Don't analyze it. Don't just assume it's because of your tinder pics or whatever. Don't even assume it's a no. Just push until you get a yes or a no. Obviously don't spam or whatever, but ask her out. Also be hitting up more chicks. Don't get attached to any chick in particular, especially if you haven't done the didily with them yet-- they sure as hell ain't gonna be attached to you until then either.

You literally just need to DO the opposite of what you've been doing. Text your friends, learn that language, talk to chicks. You'll feel resistance to doing all this, and that's fine. You might do it a little, and then give into the resistance for a few days before doing it again. You just got to keep at it.

I concur with Leo's advice above. The first time I kissed the girl I'm seeing now she gave me the cheek. But then continued on as if I hadn't kissed her. I ended up fucking her that night. Funny enough, I was confident about sex happening by the way she rejected me. Three weeks before that, when I went for the kiss with someone else, she distanced herself, and said something like "I think we have different things on our minds". Learn to differentiate real rejections from fake ones. And you only improve your discernment by pushing things as far as you can. Push too far, and you'll end up in trouble though. Push too little, then you'll never reach your potential.

But it is educational to watch all this banter. It sure made me self reflect on my biases. Good to know that it's not just one gender struggling. I'm starting to think that dating is the struggle that arises from the fundamental incompatibility of men and women. (Or masculine and feminine if you will). You spoke of transcending it, but most of us are far from that-- men and women. Perhaps before something as lofty as transcending masculinity and feminity, we'll have to first just make peace with the fundamental incompatibility of men and women-- it sure doesn't seem like we are each other's complements.

Close friends are worth developing, and being okay with being alone is a great trait to have, because then you can make friends that genuinely vibe with you as opposed to friends for the sake of friends. I'm fine with being alone too, but a lot of my growth happened when I had support from friends who I consider my family. Close friends can help you become more you (authentic)

So do you have a lot of field experience or you just parroting mainstream Red Pill shit? If you've been in the field you'd know there are exceptions to the rules. And if you had a better model than broadly applying evolutionary psychology-- something like Lacanian psychoanalysis, you'd be able to take into account those exceptions. To the OP, my take (psychoanalysis), is that masculinity is essentially performance anxiety. We can either push that anxiety to grow, or we can engage in "enjoyment"-- that is to say, cope.

I mentioned the same solution in a different thread, but I'll repeat it here in a different way. Go elsewhere and build new connections. It's not easy and it'll take time, but there's just too many people out there for you not to find a few that you'll get along with so we'll that they practically become your family.

Yo, dude. Just quit porn. Yeah, you might have repressed homosexuality or some irrational fear that you might be gay or something but that can be dealt with separately. Your fetish has been attained via porn, and stopping porn will reverse it. The thing about internet porn nowadays is that we have access to novelty so easily. Another thing is that your reinforcing neural pathways the more you watch porn. If you're gonna jerk it, try do so without porn or porn-influenced fantasy. Preferably find a sex partner and just limit yourself to real sex for a few months-- masturbating can lead you back to porn use, which will lead you back to your problematic fetish (others will say it's not a problem, but it's a problem for you, so it's your responsibility to solve it either by being okay with tranny porn or stop reinforcing the neural pathways that sends you to didily yourself to chicks with dicks).

Had an auto correct error *Physically leave

Everyone's giving compassion/healing/forgiveness/self-love advice here. Makes sense, because everyone wants to be "high consciousness", I say that you need to realize they don't realize your value nor do they deserve you. Work on logistics. Leave that environment. A lot of people like to discount the effect of environment and think that if you just do conscious stuff then you'll be fine no matter what. That's BS. You're not completely separate from your environment. Don't be around people that treat you poorly. Psychically leave.

Let her help with house chores. I know, I know, I'm a chauvinist pig xD. But it makes her feel necessary. And in the meanwhile I'm grinding us some coffee beans, and that takes time and arm strength, so it's a good division of labor.

Look into Brahmachariya.

Doesn't exist. Resources aren't conscious. You are. You raise your conscience while applying theory. You learn from your mistakes. That's how you get a better understanding, raise your consciousness, and get laid. It doesn't matter too much who's teaching you the stuff. If you have high consciousness, you'll be able to pick out the good stuff.

Will take you up on your offer. Thanks

Why are there two irrelevant statements preceding your question? You do you. What worked for me is instead of finding a particular type of girl date as many different types as you can, and find out which types don't work out for you. Process of elimination. Currently doing that myself, and boy is it a fun (and sometimes very not fun) ride.

Don't overthink it. Ask her out on a date soon, and see if things work out. The longer you drag things out the more time you'll spend just thinking

Here's my 2 cents, as someone who was in that boat and can now get chicks. There's a lot more failure than success. Make sure you're pushing things further every time. It takes practice being physical, but the only practice you'll have are your dates. I'm guessing your not aggressive-- I suggest swinging the pendulum to the aggressive side. Risk failure, instead of trying to increase your chances (counterintuitive move) I know this ain't you, but don't start thinking in terms of leagues. Bad, bad mentality. Stop looking for faults in yourself. Throw yourself out there. You are to go after and take what you want. There's guys uglier than you, shorter than you, more mental problems than you, less confidence than you, less spiritually developed than you, less masculine than you and they're all able to get laid. Your issue isn't the "something wrong" you're trying to find in yourself, but the "trying to find something wrong in yourself" itself. https://bookofpook.com This vid You're on the right path in terms of taking action. Don't fall into the trap of mental masturbation.

Okay, so there's a practice called Brahmachariya. It's translated as celibacy-- no sex, and no masturbation. However, Brahmachariya is about purifying your thoughts and align them to higher consciousness. Because people are stuck in a materialistic paradigm, they mainly see it as not nutting. The focus should be on the mind. It's not that masturbation/sex is good or bad-- it's just directing thoughts elsewhere.

Don't talk like an expert-- or parrot the advice of others, if you haven't put skin in the game. Comparing advice is dumb, unless you've taken sufficient action.