Chew211

8/24 (post 2) So right now as I am figuring things out, I know that Thursday is the day where I’m going to focus a lot of Japanese. My last class that day ends at 11:45 so I will schedule the tutoring session to be from 5 - 6. In between my last class and tutoring session I will write down notes from last lesson. I will also have time to do gym in between that time too. Because Thursdays will have a lot of Japanese related Structured Activities, I will also use the unstructured time of Thursdays to look over my Study Abroad stuff and make plans to get all that in order, as there will be due dates and tasks I will have to complete. This Thursday I will make a whole planning document to organize all my Study Abroad stuff. I’m thinking for Friday’s I would leave a lot of unstructured time after noon. Mainly because some Fridays I will be heading back home for the weekend or holiday. If I’m not heading back home, I will use Friday to socialize with friends, or spend time by myself, whatever it is I feel like doing. During the weekend it will be mostly unstructured time, where I’ll deal with homework. Structured time over the weekend will be to reflect on the week, do daily practices, strategize, and also set up for the week.

@Jelly_Shades These look pretty solid It's pretty vague, but I guess that just makes it so that different people can fit into the model. I agree with it, though I do things on all levels of the pyramid, I'm sure a lot of people do to. Though I do think I ought to focus on the bottom level stuff

8/24 Last night, I return back to the town where my college is, and went to the house I was staying at over the summer. My friend and I will have to stay here until we can find an apartment. Due to a series of bad luck, we’re back to square one, and have to find a place, which is really hard to do at this point. I didn’t get much sleep last night, because my friend and I have to be in the front room of the house, and there was really fucking loud music playing in the hall for a good hour. I’m on campus right now, I woke up a 6:30 (4-5 hours of sleep), don’t have classes yet today, but just thought I’d do work. I brought all my toiletries on campus, put them in a day locker, and showered in the locker rooms next to the gym. ^ Despite the shitty situation I’m in, there are something I am feeling positive about. This year, despite this shitty start, can very well be an AWESOME FANTASTIC YEAR All the classes I will be taking this year are relevant to my interest. My company is being more active and we’re putting out more content, I’m learning stuff of my other interest, and I’m also going to be doing a lot of self-improvement work. Today I watched Leo’s latest video on the Paradox of Trust, I really liked it, and I will take extensive notes on it and keep it in mind. It seems to be one of the most important videos of his I’ve seen so far. Realistically I am not implementing my full strategy (rather I must adjust it for the current situation). Right now the main focus in my Unstructured Time is to find an apartment for my friend and me. This made me realize that my structured time is contingent on my unstructured time, not the other way around. Also given my certain situation, I’ve decided to focus on the concept of the “How to Deal with Negative Emotions” video this week instead of the “Ways You Lie.” Feeling out my emotions I feel will save a lot more energy than resisting them, energy that I don’t want to waste on resistance because I want it for more constructive things.

8/23 Today I will be heading back to the town where my college is. I will be living in the front room of the house I stayed for the summer session with my friend, and another person who will be living with me and my two friends in our new apartment, which we’ll move into 9/24. I had a lot of energy today, felt a lot of flow and enjoyment as I got work done for my company and caught up on the kanji reviews that I had missed. I also showed my dad the audio for one of Leo’s episodes. He is happy I’m listening to stuff like this, and he said he’ll be checking stuff out too :). This makes me happy because I would like my family to improve. One important thing I did yesterday was let go of trying to get to enlightenment. To not even concern myself with enlightenment. To instead focus on developing all the area of my life, emotional mastery, and observing the ego... and also unconditionally accepting and appreciating everything when I can. I am also enjoying this forum, interacting with the people here, sharing my human experience with others.

Actually, it seemed as if she wasn't used to people approaching her. The environment here, and the places the students come from, approaching someone straight up and stuff is very uncommon. I guess most people here are kinda sheltered. Like the only experience a lot of people have here is being asked out is to prom and homecoming But thanks for reading it and giving me your perspective, moving forward, as things get less sheltered for everyone, I bet I'll be dealing with people who have been approached many ways before. definatley will go about this way (easier said than done though xD). Life definatley better centered in authenticity. I find the more authentic I am, the better my life gets.

@Tancrede Pouyat Sounds like an effective affirmation practice. I haven't done any affirmations yet, I do plan on starting. I will use your advice Thanks for posting about it.

@LifeLife Glad you liked it The main take away is that it feels REALLY uncomfortable, stupid, and your mind screams NO. Even after for a bit, you might feel a bit shitty. I will keep doing things like that, and I damn well will write about it! I will admit that I've fallen back into a comfort zone, but an expanded one from before the events of that story. I look forward to seeing how you push as well!

@Pelin Awesome to hear! I hope you get to work on your writing despite work, I always find that it is indeed possible to carve out time for writing. Feel free to pm your blog and poems if you'd like, I'd like to see it. I wonder if it would be alright to post links to our stuff here, or if it would be better to PM that sort of stuff...

And to add on, in order to keep getting stronger, you add on more weights. So your comfort zone pretty much expands as you go out of it. A golden thread of intuition from Elliott Hulse's "King": Do the thing that gives you butterflies in your stomach and a nervous smile on your face. The thing you want to do, but are too afraid to. The thing that seems stupid and unrealistic, and sometimes make you feel stupid as you're doing it, and after you do it. Thing won't always be successful, but you will grow as a person I have a special story to share on this subject matter, if it would help. I have it attached. It's just a story where I did something out of character for me, but yeah. This event was a significant point in my life, it actually got me started on this path to self-mastery. ShortStory1CreativeWritingwBreifRefelctionFinal.pdf

8/22 I took a few wrong steps in this Paradigm Journey. Luckily I was given insight to a mistake I was making. I am thankful for finding that insight as soon as I did on this journey, because I was making plans on heading down the wrong path. I was heading down the path of Ego Suppression. Suppression is a form of resistance, and resistance is the opposite direction of Enlightenment, because it is not accepting reality as it is, in this case the part of reality I call “me” and “my ego.” I don’t have to interfere with my ego (because that would just be more ego), instead, I will just merely mindfully observe the ego. Now that that is out of the way, I shall now begin my planning! What are the main areas of my life that I am actively developing? (Other than self-mastery) Writing My life purpose is to write stories. Nearly all of my stories (with the exception of a few pure comedy pieces) all are centered around the same theme, though each story has it’s own set of characters, it’s own tone, etc. All (except for the pure comedy pieces) are set in the same Universe. All of the stories (with exception of the comedy pieces) will be constructed to raise the awareness of the people reading it I want to move people emotionally University I’m a Cognitive Science Major. My focus is on human psychology. I want to understand human nature. I also plan on minoring in creative writing Japanese I’m currently learning Japanese. The interest was triggered by anime and manga, and now the modern culture. There’s a story to how I became interested, but that’s a story for another post. I will be studying abroad in Japan coming April. I want to experience everyday life there, and I will be doing that, because I will be a student, not a tourist (though I do plan on seeing the sights ) I have general interest in languages and learning them. My Company I have a company, it’s official now, but we don’t have any money coming in I want to publish my stories, and other stories with this company Later I want to do things in other mediums, such a video games, films, and animation Body/Health During school, I go to the gym regularly I also do bioenergetics to release trapped emotions in my body I try my best to eat healthy Blogs and Vlogs I want to share my human experience to the world Express myself in a nonfiction way I haven’t really started on this goal very much ^ I don’t much care about having things in neat numbers like 3, 5, or 10, but it seemed to work out here Here’s my overall goals in life: Write all the stories I have planned I’ll have a specific list later (I already have it, and it grows sometimes, but I won’t post it here, because it’s not necessary to) Release my stories in different mediums. Do all the projects I have planned I have ideas of video games. I have ideas of stories I want to animate, shoot as a film or T.V. show. On top of novels, I’m also working on a manga/graphic novel series. Grow my company to be able to release all those things. To release stories that are uncensored and not watered down. Become fluent in Japanese, and all the other languages I want to learn. Make connections from all around the world. Build up my body to be strong, both physically and physiologically. Maintain the best health I can. I want to connect with and empower those around me. Leo did say that goals could be made bigger, like 100x bigger than we are making it now. I would say that doing everything I want to do will take a lot of money, and working with a lot of people, and is no easy task. It would be a lot of hard work, a lot of results making, a lot of leadership, a lot of connecting with other people, and lot of inspiring other people, a lot of helping others. It’s good to know that I am capable of accomplishing a 100x more than what I am setting out to do. And perhaps I will push myself further. Or perhaps as I go on, life might lead me in an unforeseen direction. Now that I have laid out my areas of life I’m currently developing, and my overall life goals, I can begin strategizing my self-mastery. Now, for the last three days I’ve gone off my usual schedule due to the turmoil caused by ego suppression... but I had a schedule and a few routines. For example: Bioenergetics in the morning, Daily Kanji Review, Daily Writing Session, and Daily Meditation. I think throughout the day it’s good to have a few scheduled things, and the rest be unscheduled, during which anything can happen. So step 1 of my strategy is to decide what I want to do in a scheduled fashion. Things I schedule would be things I would need to do for regular growth in the fields of my life that I am working on, self-mastery, reflection, and alone time.These schedules can, and will be modified, especially as I find more effective things to do. The normal everyday schedule will not be possible to do everyday, it is important that I do not get neurotic about my everyday schedule, as being stuck to one thing can make me very narrow minded, and doing the same routine every single day can put me in a comfort zone. I also will need to keep in mind that this schedule is fluid, new habits will take time to develop, and old habits might be replaced by new ones. Step 2 would be to anticipate my downfalls, take into account my weaknesses, and then figure out how I can transcend those. This step would include creating things that would motivate me, keep me going, keep me reminded of my authenticity, keep me grounded. Step 3 would be to make sure to keep the unstructured time as unstructured as possible. Some of the unstructured time will be temporarily structured if there’s a particular thing that needs to be done (such as search for an appartment, finish a big-ass assignment for a class, work on my Study Abroad application). Step 4 would be regularly check in on myself. Also to adjust the strategy. A strategy is something that is fluid, not set. I will make adjustments on my strategy when needed, I will re-evaluate it every week or so. Step 5 would be picking a concept to work on each week. For example, with this first week, I am using the concept in the “How You Lie” video. I am wearing a rubber band on my wrist to remind myself of the self agenda. This week I also learned that my job isn’t to interfere with the ego’s self agenda by preventing anything, but rather just be aware, accepting, and observant of it. My Strategy (as of 8/22): Structured Activities Bioenergetics (Daily) Kanji (Daily) iTalki response + learning new words (Daily) (Needs to be developed) Meditation 20min (Daily) Gym (3-4 days a week)(Needs to be developed) (This particular activity needs to be strategized. I will be working with Elliott Hulse’s Hybrid Power Program) (I will start this once the semester starts again, which will be this Wednesday 8/24). Japanese Tutor (1hr, once a week) Japanese Review (once a week, for 1-2 hours) (Needs to be Developed) Weekly meeting with my company (Weekly) Weaknesses Distracted by Social Media Drains time, diverts focus Doubt Usual neurosis Ego Suppression Lack of practice in the habits I want to start Sometimes I get pulled down into darkness Feeling doubt, fear of death, etc Countering weaknesses Develop affirmations Develop empowering routines Develop emergency activities Such as separating myself and work on surrendering to those feelings Analyze weakness when they do happen, take notes on it, find root cause Unstructured Time Work on not looking at a screen for more than 15 seconds when not intentionally entertaining myself First step is to be aware of my distraction. That’s where the emphasis is, not on the pulling away, but the noticing. Try to find activities that I don’t have to do daily, for example, if there’s something that would be better time and effort wise I can do once every 2 days instead Stay vigilant for company tasks Check-in Seeing as I am starting out, there’s nothing to check in here, just getting ready for the first run. I will say that weekly strategy development would be best done on Sundays. Concepts to Focus on This Week Ego’s Self Agenda - watching out for lies Secondary focus: self-acceptance/ego-acceptance/unconditional love exercise Habits to Focus On Daily Writing Session I’m not writing as much as I would like. I want to make it a daily thing, that way I can make progress Weekly Japanese Review before Tutor This should be easy to do because I can schedule to do it ahead of time Gym Maybe this week study the Hybrid Power Program, and start implementing it next week. That’s all for today’s post. Today I will not be doing all my daily stuff, just the essentials, such as Meditation. Instead I will be catching up on some stuff. Hell, I might even take some time to relax today Pretty much leaving today most unstructured. ^ BTW, the strategy isn’t the stuff listed, but it’s the way I’m going about it. There’s so much possibility for change. I will keep this fluid. - Varun

Awesome! thank you both for responding. I'm actually not around much creators. @Zane I'm a creative writer as well I too watch T.V. shows, movies, read manga, etc to feed my muse. @-nbolt- Ooh, my friend is also a programmer. We're going to work on a video game soon (and may more. We had ideas for video games, and making a video game company since we were children).

@Emerald Wilkins Thank you for the video . The insight in the video has changed how I will go about strategizing my self-development. I think the video is a must watch for those seeking enlightenment, not only would it make us aware of potential pitfalls, but also emphasizes self-acceptance, allowing, and mindfulness, which I think might be the pillars of reaching enlightenment.

8/21 Today feels like a shit day. I feel doubt, I feel anxiety in the back of my head, I feel a mild weight on my heart. I did some of my work today, which was write a blog post and correct typos on a chapter of my graphic novel, but the work was slow, and honestly not fulfilling (don’t get me wrong, I love writing my stories. If anything, I believe that writing stories is my life purpose, but I guess it was the mood I was in today). I took a two and a half hour nap in the middle of my work, as I woke up rather early today for some reason. I feel concerned about my family, my parents and my brother, I want them to be on the path of self-actualization, I don’t want them to have an unfulfilling life. I see my dad, working his usual job, not spending much time doing self-development work, my mom gets pissed off at little insignificant things, and my little brother is very lazy, and doesn’t have passion in anything. I see them all eating unhealthy, and not growing themselves. I don’t want them to die regretting anything. I don’t want them to get sick, but given the way they are living right now, it might happen years down the road. It honestly sadness me, I’m tearing up as I’m writing this. And the thing is I know that if I tried pushing them in the direction of self-actualization, it wouldn’t work, especially because I myself haven’t really started. And I can’t just ignore everything and pretend it doesn’t bother me, that would just be lying to myself. I guess all of these are neurosis. I remember the Elliott Hulse saying: “The best thing that you can do for others is becoming the strongest version of yourself.” I know that I must be well on this path to bring those closest to me on the path... and I know I can’t make them go on the path, they have to do it themselves, after all, it is their own path. And I do realize that all this is not unconditional love. This is all fear-based. This is my mind focusing on what I don’t want. I feel paralyzed, unmotivated to do anything, and at the same time, I’m not going to give into watching t.v. or reading a manga I was planning on reading, because if I did those now, it would be an escape. I personally think that entertainment, in moderation, is not bad. As long as I don’t spend over an hour everyday (though I still need to cut down). Right now, I don’t know what to do. I know what I “should” do. I “should” strategize. Right now I’m listening to this on loop: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NBe6zDfL_ao I want to get to the root of this sadness/fear deep down. I also know that when feeling come to me, it’s best to express them. I’m somewhat doing it through this post, and I’m doing it also by letting out the tears. But I’m honestly holding them back a little so no one else in the house can hear (currently at parent’s house, will head to apartment when semester starts on Tuesday). --- I'm starting to feel better right now, especially after reading a reply to a thread by Emerald Wilkins: “If you want clarity, don't consult your mind, consult your emotions. If it feels right to you to pursue novel-writing then pursue it. Don't worry about the "chimp-game". That's just an idea and will be a stumbling block to authenticity and fulfillment if taken too seriously. I have a feeling that you really love novel writing, just from reading your message. Remember "low consciousness" "chimp-game" and all these other things are just value judgements and labels that only exist within the mind. Meaning is highly subjective, so you could literally try to sort everything in your reality into blacks and whites like "high consciousness/low consciousness" "wise/unwise" "good/bad" etc. But all these labels are false. The reality of the matter is that nothing "means" anything until you make it mean that. So, let your emotions guide you. Also, watch out for judgments in general. So, if you find yourself judging people for being "low-consciousness" or engaging in "low-consciousness" behavior. Then you congratulate yourself for not engaging in these behaviors. Then, this type of judgement and reward system in your mind will tie your hands and keep you in a very narrow boundary. Because you'll get emotional rewards from a contraction of possibility and not an expansion of possibility, and life will become like walking through cement. I'm not sure if you're doing this, but I know that I have in the past. So, I figured I'd give you this caveat.” Thank you @Emerald Wilkins, even though this reply wasn't for me, it helped me a lot, as I was feeling doubtful after watching two of Leo's videos, one of which he pointed out most entertainment is part of the "chimp game." But this comment triggered me to re-ground myself. It's important to heed what Emerald said because not only will it prevent me from worrying about judgments, but it will also let me be more open minded about others, as I do not need to fear what they say. I put out a post to find other entertainment/story creators on this site, others who have a similar life purpose to me, and are on the path to self-actualizing. This is all for now, I might make a post tonight about a plan, my plan and strategy to make gradual progress. - Varun

@Emerald Wilkins Thank you. Thank you so much. This brought tears to my eyes. This is an essential thing to heed.