Lynnel

It's completely backwards. It's not rational and a girl is never thinking oh I choose this because it's gonna make me happy. The sex is good BECAUSE there is a value gain on her part. The financial support, taking her out on dinner or vacation does nothing. If she likes you, financial support is gonna be nice and if she sees no value in you it's gonna be creepy like oh he's trying to buy me what a looser. Exactly the same. If she likes you it doesn't matter ! She's gonna rationalize it! Plenty of people hate gays and they have loving wifes If she likes you she's just gonna think : " oh he's so cute when he's watching footbal", "great I love someone who is ambitious and wants to make a lot of money" "yeah whatever gays aren't great anyways" Yes she won't care. How she views that will be based on whatever she feels and the value she sees in you.

@electroBeam Honestly everyone will project crazy stories on top of you interpretation which will only muddy the waters. The core dynamic is broken and it only means you didn't provide enough value in terms of fitting to her survival needs. That's why she slowly got rid of you. It has nothing to do with not being similar do not even believe that for a second. That's a complete lie. Get better with women in general and stop overthinking it. It's that easy.

It's more of a light read but I really liked Marie Cardinal's " Les mots pour le dire" at some point during my therapy. She had quite some mother issues and her story could give you some comfort

Where to start, huh ? it's never what you expect, right ? Preparations/set and setting/details mushroom type : cubensis golden teacher 2 g method : tea infusion I did all my daily habits before tripping, including meditation and made the green tea with the shrooms. I choose not to have a sitter because I didn't feel the need. I could have talked to my girlfriend if I started freaking out but doing it alone isn't for the faint of the heart and may not be appropriate for higher doses. You really have to know yourself and trust your intuition. For me it was quite obvious because well you are born in here alone and you die alone. You are always handling all of your shit alone. And you can only face your inner demons alone too. I did it alone, in my house, undisturbed, with some music sometimes to ease the stress it case it would happen. Also be fucking respectful and honor the substance. Be humble. I cannot stress this enough. It's even more crucial than letting go. As leo said tripping takes faith and there is this sinner vs not sinner mentality. if you're not humble the substance will kick your ass into being humble. You may even have fear coming into the trip but the world is gonna treat you the way you've treated the world. If deep down you are a compassionate, kind and gentle person, the substance shall treat you gently also. I didn't follow the guidelines completely and for instance watched game of thrones yesterday, I've watched a whole season of thirteen reasons why with my girlfriend last week this is why maybe I saw Golden Teacher as a chill ass nigga counselor at some point. Either way my lifestyle overall is very clean so that didn't account for much. Just kids be careful. ****Trip**** I payed my respect to the substance, without a clear goal in mind because the consensus seems to be shrooms show you what you need to grow and not what you want, so I simply decided to enjoy the ride and that's it. And it was quite a gentle ride. it felt at time underwhelming with little to no visuals. I was a bit scared of what to come and then also expected some flashes of genius insight from the heavens, and it wasn't like that. It was only awareness at work, and at some point, I just noticed : 1) Stop trusting your thoughts I had this whole OCD dynamic going on where I would argue with my thought like OMG did I turn off the oven, am I gonna die ? Shit am I gonna have a bad trip when thinking this ? And It simply occured to me : Oh wait it's just a thought. I can kinda disobey it. It's not truth. It's just a thought. I don't have to follow it, to trust it to say the truth about reality, etc. It's just a thought. A got a bit of a glimpse of that. 2) Fear is only fear. Fear is only that. I was scared of something bad happening, or I was just scare and at some point it hit me : what am I scared of ? I mean I felt it in my body and I couldn't run away from it. It was there. Whatever bad could really happen next and there was no escape. And then over a wave of trance it hit me...what am I scared of, even ? seriously? there is nothing to be scared of. Fear is illusory. There is nothing to be feared about fear. Also, I've been wondering lately why is there so much suffering and such a lack of joy in life ? Why is there so little we are truly enjoying? From a phenomenal perspective of course, I wasn't depressed or anything. Here, I quote the golden teacher : The early stages of my trip felt like a abused guy with a very hot girl and the hot girl very slightly touching him and being very kind, wanting to massively sex him into nirvana and I'm like shit I'm scarred I've been abused before. The great lesson is : 3) trying to avoid fear, everything you label as bad, the nagative shit overall, the danger, so called negative emotions prevents you from truly LIVING. You need to embrace it. An experience is just and experience. You need to learn to like live trough it. Just letting it happen ! Also I learned that I feel shitty because I'm scared all the time of : - other - judgement of others and myself most likely - what's gonna happen But overall : there is nothing to be scarred of. And I felt like a little kid with my listening to the turtle to feel better and not have a bad trip. And I was lying there wondering...how do people even get bad trips ? What have they done to fuck up so much ? Either way, fear is just that : fear. A primal feeling. Ultimately fear is pointless and there is nothing to fear. Don't escape from scarry experiences, they will end, all in nature ends, nothing is eternal. Also I learned I feel shitty because my body is very tense and very scared inside. Way more than I expected. 4) You have no idea how much you are in your head While I was gone making myself a sandwich ( with a butter knife of course be fucking careful ) which is not the most clever thing to do, I was thinking about MY TRIP REPORT. WHILE ON THE TRIP. I noticed that instead of having my trip I narrated my trip in some sort of future. And I was blown away by this. By this HUGE MENTAL ACTIVITY. You can't BE if you are conceptually narrating shit about x or y or w. The deal is, you only get NOW. I looked at my cheese toast and I was like YEAH this is ALL i get : the now. And I started tearing up thinking it would be the last toast in my life. You only have this moment. And most likely you are unaware of how much meta-thinking activity goes on in your mind and it's simply fucking amazing. I'm honestly mindblown by this. And it's true, sometimes I would have sex, and I would be like : oh yeah here I am, having sex, great. Life doesn't feel great in your mind. Too much mind kills the mind. 5) There is no magic pill, absolutely none. While sitting here tripping I was wondering, where is my mindblowing non dual experience and deep profound insight about my life situation whichi will fix everything over night and all shall become better? Where is the magic dust ? Newflash: it doesn't work that way. Leo got his great and amazing insight because he spent way more time actualizing than I did. And so he got way more results also. You do not get shit for free and you have to work for it. It takes a lot of work AND nature rewards work and effort. Psychedelics are not a magic pill. Well unless we are talking about the 5-meo atomic bomb. And even that, it would be actually pretty pointless for a commoner. He wouldn't be able to integrate his experience. Leo isn't just walking arround collecting amazing insights from the universe freely. Nah. You have to work many many hours, be very consistent and diligent, then trip balls, have mystical experiences and then convert them into gold with a strong framework you have built before. As I said before, life gets really good if you stop avoiding all the "negative" and "shitty" aspect but you embrace them. 6) You do not KNOW what a NEW experience will be like. A part of me was like : why would I need to travel, i mean I know what it feels like there or there, just some rocks, why fuck hotters girls, why do this and why do that ? Well. You cannot know. Something NEW is by definition SOMETHING you have NOT experienced BEFORE. THEREFORE there is NO way for you to know HOW it will feel/be like. No way. You can imagine, dream, speculate, but i will never match. The only way is to try. The only way is to 7) Jump To experience something new and unpredictable, where fear is involved, you have to take a leap of faith. THis is very key. There is always ALWAYS some risk in life. You just have to jump and do it. You cannot make the fear magically disappear, you cannot make it easy. Sometimes to experience something new, like a kiss, sex, or w/e, psychedelics, you just have to do it, take the leap of faith, go with the experience and truly leave. Yeah it will feel fucking intense and yes you have to be very very careful. But that's what life it about. You will never live if you are scared of making jumps. So jump, carefully, gracefully, but do it. Never stop jumping. 8) No one has to tell you how to live your life I feel often very judged by all the rules and thing you have to do right, like the simple lifestyle, the meditation, this or that practice, watching some game of thrones being bad, x or y being neurotic, there is always so much to upgrade, change, etc it becomes obnoxious. Honesly just do what you want. Higher consciousness will not force itsefl upon you. Most likely it's a projection of myself feeling bad about myself and imagining everyone is telling me how to live my life and what to do with it. I'll think this trough. 9) Random insights - You can't appreciate what you have because your awareness is way too low - you're missing a lot of life because you're afraid of the """bad""" experience - too much mind activity / you're too worried to enjoy life - You need to try new thing because judging them => you feel shitty because you'r eon the sidelines judging them. To conclude, I was expecting some harder visuals and more amazing very mystical insights but I guess I need to work for it a bit more. It felt sometimes overhelming. I will try to deal with all the issues mushrooms listed for me and then try a higher dose because I feel I'm quite ready for it. Also I wasn't able to meditate because of the body load which didn't feel always confortable. It was a very positive and charming experience and I believe it went very great for a first time trip alone. Proud of saying I lost my psychedelic virginity hehe. Thank you guys for you support @Leo Gura@nightrider1435@phoenix666@AstralProjection@OBEler@pluto PS: sorry for the english mistakes

This is exactly what tripping on mushrooms does for me so you're 100% mistaken. Don't forget that tripping is extremely personnal and I'm somehow advanced when it comes to personnal development. Feel inspired about what's possible and work on yourself. People have way crazied trip reports than mine.

@Anna1 Actually I've just had an epiphany while reading Meetjeoblack. It's not about the women. Culturally having a family/partner (w/e it's stage orange or blue) is an extremely important. At stage blue family + great job/status is like 99% of your survival. And since we are an underevolved species we are deadly when your survival is threatened. There is no decency when your survival is at stake at those stages. (and maybe even after I need direct experience for turquoise :p). No one is hating women directly : people are simply hating the fact that other people are severly threatening their own suvival. It's just the cruel dynamics of survival that are playing out in romantic relationships. If we had way more genders we would still all hate each others in varying degrees. Like we do with cultures

You might be laughing but it does make sense. Philosophy is very difficult to translate. For instance, you can't properly study any ancient greek or roman philosopher without knowing latin. A translation of Heiddiger's work is not the same as the original in german or at least such a translation would contain some translator's biais you might wanna avoid. It's more complicated than it sounds at first glance.

I mean at blue you sometimes only get what you're given by society while at orange you can hope to get an amazing relationship. By better I mean that you have a higher chance of having an amazing relationship (defined by your own terms or common things such as loving) at orange than at blue. And obviously an even better one at green, yellow, etc. I mentionned blue because blue is at the source of a lot of conditionning and you were most likely born to very blue parents. Most people nowadays even in the more developped countries are a mix of blue - orange - green. So blue is very important to understand.

Okay it's way more complex. You need to understand that orange dating is better than blue dating on an individual level. It's obviously not perfect and obviously you should aim with experience to get to green. For some context, arranged marriage, social hierarchy about who is marrying whom, no sex before marriage, the king/lord of the country being able to sexually exploit lower subjects is something orange does away with. Also the dumb myth of the prince getting the princess. Basically until you have your fair share of experiences with dating at stage orange you will not be able to evolve to green. You need rules for things that would be (I hope) automatic at stage green such as for instance not telling a girl you only want her for sex not because it's false but because that would make her uncomfortable. You also need to get a grasp of the more "markety"/survival aspects of dating at stage orange which can feel like a free market when before it was more of a diplomatic arrangement kind of stuff. There is a tremendous danger in thinking that you're above pick up and criticising the whole mouvement is that you're never gonna do the work. if you're gonna be a good boy and stay where you're at waiting for your princess you're just gonna stay miserable. Obviously don't fall into the whole extreme ideology thing. In short : get way more experience. You can't fix your neediness by thinking. Get way way way more experience. Get so much experience it becomes completely automatic and natural.

I did not have any ill intent - but yes I should have framed that a bit differently. I'll avoid posting on people's journals when they mostly need emotionnal support. I understand it's a serious issue and I wanted to pinpoint the fact she needed to take drastic measures because there are dire consequences such as liver failure at play. I also find that something along the lines of drinking 6 days out of 7 and using the other day to rest and process your emotions would work best than simply drinking less daily. Yeah I was too quick to speak, and I'm sorry for that. (About the troll : not stopping drinking completely just because you're french is not a great excuse and last time I saw someone ration alcohol it was in Bojack Horseman.) But yes I should have read more before thinking in that direction. I'll be more careful in the future. On the other hand I disagree with showering Amandine with praise just because she recieved a harsh comment while said she wrote several angry comments to insult me and is attacking anyone who contradicts her on sight. This is supposed to be a civic discussion and I don't wanna be witch hunted just because I stated my opinion carelessly once.

@Nahm@Serotoninluv @mods There is a personal attack up there and I'm not liking it

@Amandine In case you're not a troll I would encourage you to take this issue way more seriously. Like set a more powerful goal such as drinking only once per week or something. There isn't much difference between being a hardcore alcoholic and a medium one - it's just the speed at which you decay. I hope you stop decaying all together.

Yeah I understood the value of detoxing very very quickly :D. Unfortunately I focused on some other stuff and didn't take the time to detox very deeply

Sorry Leo that's a complete lie. Your Brand's name matters enormously. For instance Actualized.org is very well chosen = it's not an accident it's framed as an .org (higher purpose) while it's a LLC for instance. And also since it starts with Ac it's always at the very beginning of youtube subcriptions. Marketing is in the details.

The way you counter this is having a curated instagram profile showing great moments with tons of social proof. That helps. Otherwise just stick to reality.

What is the best way to realize in your direct experience that fear is completely illusory and then make that insight stick ? What are the most damaging fears in terms of human development we should aim at overcoming first ?

Since branding is 80% percent of any business, I've been wondering what your thoughts are on branding yourself as a person (lifecoach or w/e else) versus branding yourself as a business (actualized.org). Usually people do a mix of that such as - Leo for Actualized.org but other people are quite successful such as Teal Swan, Rupert Spira, Calvin Newport, Thomas Frank, etc. What are some great elements to consider when doing that ? Yourself seems more personal while the business allows more liberty later on with products and other elements : Rupert Spira's self-improvement forum is not gonna fly for instance.

@Matt8800 I would greatly appreciate if you gave me some pointers on those : 1) What happens exactly when you take a psychedelic ? Are you possessed by the spirit of the plant ? If the substance is synthetic (such as LSD), are you possessed by the spirit molecule ? 2) What do you think about Teal Swan's frequency painting and how would you use them ? thanks !

That's actually genius - imagine there was a very small gun possession tax. You'd have to register with the IRS to actually pay it. Unless you're feeling very courageous you're not gonna fuck with the IRS and the registration issue will be solved nationwide

I actually could be interested if it's not too time consuming. I'm always triggered when I see improperly named topics or inconsistent information formating I used to post a lot of non sense back in the days but got very careful about my contributions as I've matured lately.

It's just a fantasm. Ffs, you guys lack any basic understanding of psychology. It cannot be delusionnal as it is imaginary to begin with. You would be delusional to consider this to be real in the common sense of the world. It's like a mushroom showing you a dream you must interpret - it has everything to do with your psychologic and nothing to do with hers.

1) Start with low doses. That's a no brainer. 2) Unless you're doing something very wrong, like suddently taking 10g of shrooms on your first trip, the "complicatedness" in the experience is always due to your own psyche, aka the substance pulls out all the dark shit in your subconscious. This is also highly dependent on your current setting. Set is slightly different because yes you wanna feel good but feeling good with several pandora's boxes in your backyard is not gonna do much overall Chip at it slowly and learn bit by bit. Someone mentionned on shroomery that the idea of using something to run away was actually in itself something that one had to learn to face within himself. That might be a great lesson to just sit down and take it because it's you realizning what's happening inside yourself.

This is getting a bit muddy. Image your spirituality inborn skill level (think of dragon ball xD) is 30. When you're stuck it's 30 and when you're not stuck you can achieve something like 400. Maybe thirthy would be gifted compared to someone who started with then and whose experience of being stuck would be longer or more painful/grindy. You have no way to know how good your baseline is. That's the point here. Nonetheless I tend to think that discussions about talent are usually not helpful as it's often used overall as an excuse in one way or another. You could've been bad at math simply because you misunderstood some basic math down the line and since math is extremely linear and builds up like a pyramid, it's easy to see how you would have failed Thinking that you're failing because you're special or different is exactly what we need to avoid in our thinking.

You wouldn't know what spiritually gifted is unless you had a ground for comparison. Maybe you're actually quite gifted to begin with and someone else wouldn't have had your spiritual experiences if he were under the exact same conditions. For instance I've always assumed that anyone is able to change as much as a do or take personnal development as seriously as I do, and actually get what they want - but the more I talk to people the more I feel gifted because they seem to be stuck for no particular reason. It just doesn't click. I've had a personality type extremely oriented towards accomplishement and also a strong belief in anything being possible which already was the case even when I had zero personnal development work.

You clearly have never dealt with SQL on such a large scale. Oh how naive of you.