Henrik_Sahlen

The last 2 years, I have been together with my dream woman and we really love each other. Yet, I have always been struggling with being a hyper pleasing guy. I simply want to make her the most happy woman on this planet and share my gifts with her. However, by being overly "nice" I am hiding some of my emotions, avoid confrontation and feel out of touch with my healthy masculinity. I think a lot of people struggle with this as the idea of "being nice" is wide spread in society. Now, together with you, I wanted to gather some ways to get back in touch with that lovingly guiding, expressive and authentic source that gives to the world and simultaneously is not afraid to stand up for itself. Here are some ways I thought of: -Listening to warrior music and "killing" a workout -Screaming, yelling, letting go of pent up emotions -Spending time alone in nature, reflecting about death -Watching movies & reading books such as: 300, The Way of the Superior Man, King Warrior Magician Lover -Spending 1 hour a day either finding or working at your life purpose, sharing your gifts Please share other ways or your rake on this subject. I would be happy to hear!

@Leo Gura 1) Do you still think coaching is important, now that you have surpassed most of the basic personal development work? 2) Do you still get coached? 3) If no, at what stage did you decide that it was no longer more conducive than what you could do on your own? Did that feeling come naturally?

@Stefano Provenzi https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KGcpzuHgrQk&t=28s Shinzen Young on Youtube: Noting Part 1 & 2

@aniss Go out in nature or in your room and simply scream out all the anger you have. Do it right now! If you cannot because there a re people, take a cushion and scream into it. Go for a run and shout out your anger. Move your whole body swear! Let go of that pent up anger, frustration and sadness. Report to me how you feel afterwards and we will go on form there. Do that right now for at least 15 min!

In this talk a woman is explaining her situation which sounds pretty similar to the one you found yourself in. Even though your grandpa already passed, I thought it might help you and other people to deal with it, although I believe you already have a very mature perspective on it. May your grandpa rest in peace. Much love.@Mondsee

Wow, really insightful. Thank you, I really like your take on it.

@jimrich Thank you, I really dismissed the fact that I am still caught up in codependency. Definitely will check out the resources!

@Loreena Powerful.. Thank you

In consciousness work, I'd say we try to attain the renunciation of the ego with all its desires, fears, insecurities and so on. Now my question is how we should handle situations where a person does something we do not like, for example when someone calls you names or humiliates you in public or someone hits on your girlfriend. Is it better to just silently watch the reaction of the ego and stay mindful, or should we rather summon the courage to speak up, even though all likes and dislikes are ego - related. What do you think?

@Loreena First of all thanks for your in depth answer, really appreciate it! I am thinking about going on a trip just by myself. I find it difficult to reconcile "self-assertive" behavior with consciousness work. I realize that I tend to justify my overly pleasing attitude with trying to become "egoless" and giving for giving's sake. Any take on that?

@elias It was really good. The first 2 days were a bit difficult, but then I settled in and it went smoothly. I learned more about meditation and enlightenment than in multiple months of meditating for 20 min per day. Also, my interest in truth has increased drastically. I now meditate for an hour daily and start some self - inquiry. It was really really really worth it!

Hi, tomorrow I will attend my first meditation retreat so far and I am very excited about it. It is a 5 - day retreat with around 6 hours of formal practice each day. I would be interested to hear about some of your experiences during retreats and maybe some beginners advice on what to do or not do in order to get the most out of a meditation retreat. Wish everyone a happy day - Henrik

Instead of theorizing about how long it is going to take, which is basically the first error because it probably not attained through the accumulation of time but rather the dissolving of it, simply sit down and take the first step by doing the guided Neti Neti. Then see what happens and move further from that place.

@Wilm Hey man, I read your post and what came up to my mind was that you maybe could ask yourself: With regard to running, in what way could you have a positive impact on society? Maybe you think that biggest problem in society is that there are too many fat people. Then you could start thinking about how you could help as many people in the world as possible starting a running habit or sth. along those lines. Or maybe you think that most people don't really know how to boost their performance in running and you want to help them in that way. Or maybe you think the world lacks great running tracks and you create different tracks online. What I am trying to say is that your desire to impact people in a positive way could help you identify your Life Purpose. Good luck!

@Evilwave Heddy It was not necessarily the fap which was that amazing. It was more about the mindset you acquire when pushing through al the hardships you face during these 30 days. Actually in my opinion, no fap is extremely overrated. However I have limited myself do to it like twice a week now... But I can not stress the point enough, that you will attain a warrior - mindset if you push through those 30 days. If you can overcome your libido desires you can overcome any addiction or bad habit. Additionally my urges to fap have become less after the challenge.

I successfully completed a 30 - day no fap challenge (hard mode) and the best advice I could give you is this: Take out a paper and commit to 30 days. Decide on a punishment that happens when you relapse and chose a reward that you get when you complete the 30 days. I, personally, decided that if I would relapse, I would have to do bungee jumping from about 150m height. As I am really scared of big heights, I knew that I would complete those 30 days. I have to say this helped me tremendously during the hard times of these 30 days. Another point is that you have to anticipate that it will be hard, harder than you think it is. Especially the last 5 days I was partly not even able to focus on normal homework as I was having fantasies.... Good luck my friend and try this one!

Hey, I have been meditating consistently for about 4 months now, every day for 20-60 min. While in the beginning I felt myself becoming more positive and conscious, currently I have a lot of phases where I find myself in constant pain, anxiety and depression. However, there is no reason I "should" feel like that. I am one of the best students in my school. I am in an amazing relationship with my perfect 10/10 woman and I consider myself as being very fit and healthy. Because of these very very negative phases, where I feel that I am unworthy of love and happiness, that the pursuit of external things is absolutely pointless and I am just gonna loose everything, really holds me back from being happy and also successful. I feel how my motivation to study and going to the gym decreases and I just act insecurely the whole time. I don't know how to handle this. I am constantly hearing voices in my mind telling me how unworthy I am. Simultaneously I consciously see how I am self-sabotaging but don't know how to act against it. Is this just an effect of old childhood traumas coming up? Is this going to pass? Should I stop meditating for a while or just push through it? I feel very desperate, as I risk to loose everything I love and worked for so hard. Any help, advice or similar experiences would be helpful Henrik

@John Flores, @Capethaz, Thank you very much guys. I actually have watched the video about the dark sides of meditation from Leo. However I was not sure if I even have meditated long enough to experience these dark sides already. I think I will continue my practice hopefully overcoming the negative phases soon. Wish you the best Henrik

Hey guys, In the last months I have built a reading habit of 20 minutes per day, including a habit of taking notes to it. After having read a few books, I feel that I roughly grasp the content, but it is not this specific knowledge and insight I desire. Also, the author claims that I should read every book at least 10 times because when we read, we can only retain about 10 % of the actual information. As I am committed to continuously grow and learn concept thoroughly, I don´t want leave knowledge on the table. Still I simultaneously don´t want to waste a lit of time learning the same concept, when I could be learning a lot of different new things. What are your opinions on this?

@Infinite Thanks for your opinion, in my eyes it would also just take too much time to read it 10x. I am grateful you answered, wish all the best