UnbornTao

You assume the only option here is being at the effect of circumstances, whereas in actuality you are the one responsible for your thinking and actions. You yourself get radicalized and bitter; external events might contribute or trigger certain reactions within you but they don't determine or dictate your experience, and neither can they do "bitterness" for you.

“The human foot is a masterpiece of engineering and a work of art." - Da Vinci. Felt like sharing it.

@Sugarcoat You sound confused, so clarify what it is you want, with this thread and with whatever you're going through first. And be open, do not dismiss or agree so readily. Being more centered in one's body rather than in one's head helps, too.

Aren't you asking for guidance? Why would you be on the defensive?

@LambdaDelta In a way, we are constantly starting anew with this work. Chances are you are referring to a conceptual grasp, which is the first step, but is rather superficial. More work is needed.

Whether it is or not is secondary, even irrelevant, to accomplishing your goal. It is useful to tackle the issue head-on.

In what ways do you unconsciously undermine your own efforts and those of others, if you do?

If you were 87, maybe not, but you won't know unless you do it, and the sooner the better.

Christ Sutras by Bart Marshall. Recommended read.

You don't need spiritual theory now. In your experience, there's likely a very solid sense of yourself, so that's that. You can pursue stuff you want.

The one you care the most is your self. It is the central element of existence for you. That said, there are kind people in the world who are less "selfish" or self-oriented than others.

No. Get your nature.

Do you care about others’ self-survival as much as your own?

Not sure about that. But point taken.

@Sugarcoat Why did you start this thread? Pain and suffering are not the same thing. Can suffering actually be found in the body? That’s something for you to explore on your own. It seems to me that suffering contains pain, but not the other way around. Consider that, although there are no pain receptors in your smartphone, if it gets broken or stolen, you will likely go through a painful event, and suffer, even if it is a minor annoyance. This suffering is of your own making, based on what you identify yourself with. And this is just a specific, superficial example. Pay attention to the activity of interpretation itself, and how the way you interpret events generates so much inner turmoil. This is just one domain to look into. You'd be considered stubborn, not insane, for resisting any change that you presumably want to go through, unless you're lying to yourself about wanting to transcend your condition. You could wonder: What purpose is this serving for me? What do I get out of it? Am I actually willing to drop it? Regarding thinking, a much deeper activity is occurring beneath the surface of your experience. Look at any small object in front of you and notice how the mind immediately brings up associations, meaning, stories, and use relative to the perception of the object. This isn't usually recognized as such, but is nonetheless occurring. This could be called part of the activity of thinking. So, you can see it isn't just a superficial thing that happens independent of your conception (see, another activity) of an objective, external reality. If you happened to create your self, couldn't your state also be created by you? Work on building a different state. Just for fun, consider yourself an actor and actually become: angry jealous depressed joyful curious vulnerable loving apathetic hopeful relaxed Make it real in your experience. Anyway, that was too much. In a nutshell: Just become responsible for your experience, and free yourself from what's dysfunctional and ineffective -- if that's what you want.

AAAAHHHHHH

The Ultimate Guide to Reframing

Start with what it is. Otherwise, our questioning is based on second-hand "knowledge". Notice how prematurely asking why presupposes that the what is already known (assumed). It is putting the cart before the horse.

"When you meet Jesus on the road, kill him."

You're still stuck within the assumption that circumstances cause your state. By "thinking", it is not meant mere internal dialogue or passing thoughts. This kind of thinking underlies your experience and is based on profound and overlooked notions. You can't locate suffering in the body, so look into that. What am I doing with my mind such that my state is like this?

How you use your mind has consequences. You can just not do stuff, which is to say, you can recognize yourself as the source of the activity, and stop generating it as a result. You might assume that circumstances and the world somehow "cause" your internal state, but this is just not true. Meditation can help you start gaining some mastery over your mind. Catch yourself at the beginning of unfruitful thought dynamics without engaging in them, before they gain momentum. What am I doing in this particular case?

I'd clarify what I'm after and then take up a practice based on that.

Likely a case of unfounded openness. Should keep it experiential and real.