Jecht Spencer

Keep staying congruent to who you are as a person. If someone is stepping into you with beef establish a clear boundary that you are not ok with someone being mean/rude/etc... In terms of judging a persons intentions a good rule of thumb is to follow your gut. I have the same problem as you. I oft time wear a mask because my true self can be quite disturbing at times. The thing is that there really is a group of people for everyone... you just need to find them. Like the old saying goes "It is better to have been loved and lost than never to have been loved at all." Take the mask off the best you possibly can. It may be hard at first but you already have the distinct understanding that the mask is killing you. Best to let it go before you forget what it is like to be perfectly inperfectly 100% you. Good luck.

Power of habit. School of London says it takes 66 days to implement a new habit. You are using up all your willpower and quitting to early. Habits come easy but it is a growing pain to get to the point where it is automatic. No one is going to do it but yourself. If change was easy everyone would do it. Are you a Wolf or another Sheep in "wishful thinking?"

Mess what up? Life is about making as many mistakes as possible. The dying's most quotable: "I never regret the things I did... I regret the things I didn't have the courage to do."

There is no such things as "one girl." There a lot of "one girl's" out there that would mesh well with your personality and core values. You have to put yourself in the position to find said girls though. Leaving it to "chance" and thinking they will magically appear will not happen. Need only look at the people who think they found their "one" and the current divorce rate. Close to 60%. That isn't counting people who stay in those relationships even though they are miserable. Put yourself around women you find attractive. Say "Hello."

My Story: I was in a relationship for 3 years that I settled on a bit too early on in my dating adventures. I ended up cheating on her about 3 or 4 times because she was not everything I wanted in a partner. We began fighting like crazy and it eventually got physical (she threw a phone at me.) I never touched her but at that point everything began to break down. We had an odd relationship. Booze often lead to us in some crazy situations. I feel I am a man who is made for two women or multiple relationships intertwined. There were time where my girlfriend and I would f*ck with one of my friends (she'd only suck d*ck) turned me on though. Maybe this was my way of making my cheating "ok" because I gave her permission to play with others. I decided to join the Navy as a means of getting out of the relationship and also a much more stable financial future. I got out of bootcamp into A school (Navy Tech School) and thought maybe I could make it work. Even though I wanted out of the relationship I still loved her and proposed like an idiot. Literally two weeks later I run into a Navy girl who also had a fiancé and we both kind of clicked. Over the course of a night we ended up skinning dipping at a beach and f*cked all through the morning. I didn’t tell my Fiance for about a week. I canceled the wedding after the invitations were out. I was an idiot. I fell hard for the new girl and she ended up cheating on me almost having a threesome with two other guys. Only ended up f*cking one of them. I was completely destroyed. I had left my fiancé to be with this girl and karma turned around hit me with a brick. I left and went to go see my ex-fiance who was f*cking destroyed and we ended up hooking up again… she didn’t look good physically or emotionally. I remember at one time I had my father in Pensacola. I picked up a random girl from a bar and brought he back to my hotel room and we had sex. Then I proceeded to drunk drive back to my A school and pick up my other partner and brought her back to the hotel. Proceeded to have sex with her. For the next 6 months I hopped between both girls destroying them both emotionally as I destroyed myself and drank heavily. I was officially scum of the earth. I ended up getting the new girl pregnant and she had an abortion. I begged to be back with my ex-fiance in a drunk phone call that I later decided was a terrible idea the following morning. I ended up getting stationed in Norfolk, VA. The “new girl” tried to commit suicide after I left A school. My cell phone died as I talked to her sobbing in my car in Virginia as she swallowed a bottle of pills. She finally got out of the Navy. My ex-fiance coasted with me a little longer us hooking up here and there but has since moved on. I still keep light contact with the other girl but she is now married. My Thoughts: What did I learn… I think I learned nothing and everything honestly. The abortion. The Suicide. The Tears. The Drama. The Uncertainty. I still feel like scum. At the same time I enjoyed the drama of it all. I have 0 intention of doing anything like that to anyone ever again. I want true profound love with a woman or women. No more surface level or extremely toxic relationships. At the same time even though my life was a living hell it was the most profound roller coaster ride of my life. Just so much pain, love, sex, drugs, and profound longing. I have never felt so important to someone’s existence as I did in those relationships. I felt powerful… I felt bad… I felt good. I felt like a psycho honestly. I have since evolved. Albeit a little. I still love the attention of women… my drinking is no longer a problem. I can choose to drink rather than have to. I think I thrive on drama. My mind goes in 10,000 directions. It is best I stay in the present moment and radiate love in all it’s forms. Moral of the story leave people better than you found them. Karma is a b*tch.

Good book. 4 Stars. Some healthy mindsets in there...

ENFP... the bane of my existence.

7. My personal record though I think is closer to 12. Swearing off porn is HARD... jacking off even HARDER... hehe see what I did there? Longest I've gone without jacking is probably 6 days. Serious problem. =.=

Just realize that women alone will ultimately not make you happy. Took me 10 long years to figure that out. (I learned about pickup back in 2006.) It is kind of like putting a band-aid on a sucking flesh wound. I still find myself very much dependent on the approval of women and a few strong swigs of wine. Just be careful is all I'm saying...

Do you see yourself expanding your own personal circle of coaches or will actualized.org always be a one man band?

Hello my name is Jecht and I discovered Self-Improvement through the pickup community back in 2006. Name: Jecht Spencer (Alias) Age: 25 Gender: Male Location: Miami, USA Occupation: UBER Driver (Building a Personal Brand on Adventure/Artistry/Seduction.) Marital Status: Single Kids: None Hobbies: Women, Wine, Movies, Reading, Hiking, Swimming, Drug Experimentation, Clean Eating I didn’t find personal development. Personal development found me. I was a sad 228 pound obese World of Warcraft playing pimple fiend who lonely in a multitude of ways. I managed to cut down to an unhealthy 141 lbs after being called fat by my doctor and went on a spree of talking to girls with “routines” and ultimately lost my big V-card. I have since dived deeper into the seduction game but am slowly distancing myself away from it. Recently out of the Navy as of 27 October 2015 due to unfavorable circumstances after serving 3 years 8 months. (Lost my school benefits that I had joined for in the first place.) I also couldn’t claim unemployment due to the characterization of my service (general.) I am currently homeless and live out of my car in Miami, Florida. I drive as an UBER driver to pay off my $17,000 of debt and spend the remaining time reading books, talking to girls, drinking wine, or hiking. It is a lonely life. I came across Leo’s videos. He is a very innovative thinker and I enjoy seeing his “shadow (real)” self shine through in his videos. You see how much he gives a f*ck because of how emotional he gets in his videos. Most of the videos it is he talking to himself. Good stuff, very vulnerable, with flashes of realness. Personal Challenges I’ve overcome: · Lost 88 pounds now at a “healthier” 180 · Better at attracting women · Stop shaking around girls · Learned a lot about self-improvement · Better(ish) Diet · Lift Weights What I’m doing now: · Paying off Debt (albeit slowly) · Doing Video Book Reviews on Youtube · Trying to be more vulnerable (I’m a bit of a headcase.) · Not being so negative and taking consistent action towards my truth