SFRL

@MHarris If I have to pick a number I would say around 30. But you don't always get to call the shots on that. What if you don't have a successful relationship until later in your life? What are you supposed to do then settle for less? Or what if you find someone early in your life that you would want to marry? What are you going to do then? Ruin an otherwise very good relationship? It's not only your feelings about the matter but the other person as well.

You are trying to go the intellectual route but he is trying to be this hard guy so that's not going to resonate with him. Far right is anti-intellectual anyway. Hitler was anti-intellectuals. Take him to a boxing/kick-boxing/MMA gym. It's a very mixed group there. He can't preach his believes there. And after mixing it up with the other guys there he won't be able to hold on to those believes anymore. "Awarenesses alone is curative". *I see now that you are from Macedonia. I don't know what the (gym) culture is really like over there. But you can give it a try. If anything it may give him something else to focus on. *My advice is not for him to get beat up, but he will grow respect when going trough training with people from other ethnicities.

That's how I see it as well. The tool analogy is spot on.

@Scarecrow you can use Tinder and Match.com. Tinder is free and Match.com you got to pay for. Also their application is somewhat different. There are other sites as well. But if you get those two then you got pretty much the whole spectrum covered. Get both is my advice. Next thing is you need to have some good pictures that represent what you currently look like. Get at least three pictures of which at least two only have you in it. The other ones can have your friends or relatives in it but I don't even go that route. The pictures are very important when it comes to online dating. Superficial yes. But building a deep connection takes time. To think that you can build that bond after a few weeks time by getting to know the person would be equally superficial. Then you need to write a profile. The number one rule is don't lie. Not about your height, your body composure, your income, etc. No lies period. That will always come back to you. Don't start summing up your life story either, or all your negative traits and thoughts. So no mentioning: "I am shy". That just doesn't work. Or: "I have never tried this before, and I don't expect much of it, but we will see" kind of message. That won't work either. What you should do is mention your ambitions, any interesting hobby's (not your ant farm), and what you are looking for: Dating and possibly more. Don't come up with a whole list of likes and dislikes about a girl. When you get those two profiles done I will be happy to share more technique with you.

@Epiphany_Inspired in short you are saying it's nice to cuddle and get touched? I agree.

@Epiphany_Inspired sounds like a lack of boundaries to me. It's not normal behaviour to kiss and cuddle people that you don't have a close or official bond with. That sort of cheapens the deal and may be illegal. Unless you are trying to date or something but that's a whole other thing all together. It's not normal or acceptable in other cultures either. Definitely not in European cultures. I am European myself I don't know what they have been telling you. If straight guys are cuddling you...come on now you are old enough that you should know what's going on.

@Tibor thats truth but at least that Mammoth won't turn around and kill you.

Oh yeah I don't doubt that. I don't drink the tap water. Depending on where you live it may be poluted by fuel as well.

Yeah I did my research on water. The obvious are fluoride and BPA but there are lot if other bad things like women's birth control that doesn't dispose in it. Thanks for the info where to get that filter.

@Epiphany_Inspired so are you saying that you want to cuddle with your male friends for cuddles-sake and then you expect that to somehow end well?

So you say you are using a coconut shell water filter? Where did you buy yours? I was definitely considering the fruit juicing thing. The extra vitamins are always a good thing.

@ClearThought everything you make your goals is part of typical stage orange thinking and behaviour as per the Graves model. Including women. What served you in the past to get further in life doesn't serve you now anymore. Maybe it's time to evolve.

@electroBeam did you find a girl or girls to go out on a date with now? Now should you pay for dates? The first date I say absolutely. Plan to spend 50 - 100 dollars as well. You are coming at it from the completely wrong angle man. You should not be making your money your first priority when you go dating. Your primary concern should be how to get her panties off. How are you getting her panties off? By being a fun guy and sexual escalation. When you are coming at her with this attitude that she should pay half, how much fun is that going to be for her? You are already creating problems/obstacles before the dating/relationship started. (And before her panties came off). Actually if she offers to pay on the first date, that's not necesairly a good sign. That may very well mean you are not getting a second date and she won't feel guilty by paying half. Or all of it for that matter. Or she is buying off any obligations to you. Because she thinks if you pay you may want sex in return. Either way she is holding out on sex. Now of course you should not always be paying for everything in the relationship. But the first three dates. Expect to pay. After that she should start paying for some things as well. Now on a side note if sex has not happened after three dates you may be having other issues. After three dates and no sex the chances of you ever getting any are dramatically dropping. By date four and she has not paid anything imagine this. If she says "let's get ice cream" after you took her to the movies you can say: "OK, are you paying?" In a nonchalant way and that's all there is to it. You can see her reaction then. Now also something to consider is her spending habits. For example if you date a girl who always pays half. But everytime the two of you hangout she racks up the bill to 150 dollars. Now everytime you hang out with her you are 75 dollars lighter. That way you are better off with a girl who is happy if you pay for both you and her ice-cream and you take her for a walk in the park.

Attracting women and forming deep intimate relationships are two different things. But to form a deep intimate relationship you first need to attract a woman. I have no RSD experience but I am sure you can learn a lot there. There is also a lot of technique that you can find on the internet to read up on. Also very effective is online dating. (Finding girls on dating sites in your area and then taking them out on real world dates.) The great thing is that you will get to be with the girl one on one. That's half the battle won. In clubs, at parties, etc it's going to be more difficult to single her out. Between her friends, your friends, and strangers there will often be someone trying to cockblock you. You don't have that issue with online dating. The combination of online research for dating techniques and online dating sites to meet women is very effective. Once you know what you are doing its ridiculously easy. It will feel like you are cheating the system really, it's that easy. But you have to understand the psychology of dating, pick-up, and women. So that's where the research comes in. The truth is the more exposure you have to dating women the easier it's going to get. Then you start getting more confident and then you start to radiate that confidence. Making things even easier. * If you go learn pick-up within a group, I am sure you will have some succes. But it is not the groups objective is to get you a girlfriend. Because then you leave the group and that is a threat to the excitance of the group. So if it's me I rather operate alone. All I want is to have sex with the girl, and if the sex is good and she is nice then I want to make her my girlfriend. I don't care for the whole sideshow with some dudes.

So what do you like to do besides chasing women? Stop chasing women for a while and try out a wide range of different activities that you think would be cool. Get your kicks out of life outside of chasing girls. This sounds like an addiction.

@Shin posted this video as a comment to me like yesterday. Intuitively you will probably already know this. But it is still good to have it ordered by Leo in a video. It can help you to take some focussed action.

@jakub_friso I did read over the second part of your definition. I think your definition of Personal Development work is good yes. For what its worth to you: What I experience with Personal development work is that the greatest results are being achieved by multiple smaller actions/parts that together are greater then the sum of its parts. For instance if I had just started working out and had done nothing else it probably would have had little effect on the quality of my life. But now that I started working out, started cooking, eat more healthy, watch my finances, quit multi-media (Facebook), reading and self-study History, Psychology, and Philosophy. All these relatively little changes together are making a big impact on my life. Basically now I sleep better, I am more energetic, generally more happy, and I have more vision and focus. Another thing is that I noticed that these habits grow their fruits over time. If for instance I eat a healthy meal once, it wont make much of a difference how I feel. If I eat healthy for a week I feel a little better. But when I eat healthy for months it has a very big effect. Same for quitting multi-media. One day without Facebook and you are still in that mindset. Months without Facebook and it really changes the quality of your thought patterns. So what I am thinking is that quality Personal Development is not sudden and erratic but slow and stable.

@StarfoxEpiphany I still don't think the Spiral Dynamics model was designed the way you implement it. Now in all fairness you should question any model or information you are being told of course.

I think personal development is 2/3 internal, cognitive, and mental. The other 1/3 is practical and physical. That's just an estimated guess you can adjust the percentages as you like. So I think it's more internal, cognitive, and mental. Still a large chunk will be practical and physical. The brain needs to come up with the idea first but there still needs to be action taken out in the world.

I don't really see it like that. I don't really believe one can shift between the stages like that so easy, like you would flip on or off a switch. Let's say someone attacks a stage beige person with a club. And that stage beige person will kill his attacker. The stage beige person will think: "I live he dies". No moral scruples there. Now let's say a stage green person gets attacked with a club and he kills his attacker. He may think something like; "He tried to kill me so I killed him. And now he is dead. That's horrible how will his mother feel? Does he have kids? I wonder why he attacked me maybe he had a very bad childhood." There will be empathy there. The act of killing out of self defense doesn't make the person either stage beige or green though. When you break this Graves model down further and you take different facetes of someone's personality in affect, I don't see how one person will let's say be at stage red at one facete and stage green at another. If you have a person that is stage green spiritually, stage orange in his career, and stage orange in his relationships that I can see. There is not such a big gap between stage orange and green. But a person that is stage green spiritually, stage green in his career, but stage red in relationships...I don't think that exists much or for a long time in the real world. A person who lives very consciously and tries to genuinely do good all day to everything and everyone does not go home and turns stage red to screw over the people he loves all of a sudden. Unless he is a bit of a psychopath/sociopath. Yes there are several facetes to someone's personality. But if all other facetes are let's say stage green it does not make sense that a person would be so unaware that one facete of his personality will keep limping behind at stage red. Different facetes of one's personality still interact with each other. Where do you find all these turquoise and yellow people to hang out with? In my life I encounter stage orange people everywhere, since in the Western world we live in a stage orange society. I have met plenty of stage green people. But I think I can only remember one person who I think was high percentage stage yellow. Turquoise people I can't even come up with an example for. That would be a Sage or a God or something.

Makes perfect sense.

I find this Graves model interesting. The way I read this is you are applying different stages of the Graves model as you see fit. Are you doing this as a tool to be more conscious about how you are acting in certain situations? Because the way I understand the Graves model is that you can only be at one stage or maybe shift between two stages back and forth when you are in a transition from one stage to the next (either up or down).

First of all you are 21 and she is 28 and your manager, so.....major respect bro The worst thing you have done is buy her a gift in exchange for the taxi though, that's suplicating to her. There are two things here 1.) She had fun. 2.) She is rejecting you now. So the best thing you can do is date some other girls and preferably have sex with them. Because why did she make out with you in the first place? Probably because you were this exciting guy. The bad boy. Now you are this little puppy boy. So if you bang some girls that shows her you are still this exciting guy that she was attracted to in the first place. And hey man if it don't work. Well maybe you will like one of those new girls better, and at the very least you still had fun.

Here is a fun article that I did come accross. Called: 6 harsh truths. It gets best towards the end. http://www.cracked.com/blog/6-harsh-truths-that-will-make-you-better-person/

Get a Crock-Pot/slow cooker.