Raphael

07/02/2021 (Week 2) If any of what I wrote this week is true, it might be helpful if I... try to fix my insecurities start to fix my traumas by using the trauma release exercise work with the emotional scale model show more respect to people accept to have more fun accept myself practice radical honesty in my life force myself a bit every day in order to achieve my goals

Weekly Statistics (01 February 2021 - 07 January 2021) Total Working Hours 24 hours 50 minutes Average Focus 3.41 / 5

07 February 2021 Wake Up Time: 05:50 AM (objective 5:30 AM - 6:00 AM) In Bed Time: 09:20 PM (objective 9:00 PM - 9:30 PM) ✅ 45 minutes of Doing Nothing Before Going To Sleep Work Sessions: No work for today Average Focus: ~ / 5 (objective at least 3.5 / 5) Total Work Duration: 0 minutes, including 0 minutes of Deep Work (objective 0 minutes) Total Reading Time: 0 minutes (I'm not reading anything currently)

A new thread would be more appropriate because this is complicated stuff...

So stage orange: turning a global crisis into an opportunity to make money.

Healing Work Traumas I got this idea from Leo's latest blog post: https://www.actualized.org/insights/back-from-2-month-break-updates I currently have a problem when working which is that very often when I work I have painful thoughts that appear about past work experiences. I entered the marketplace in late 2017 and worked in two companies previously. What happened is that I had a lot of creative ideas and wanted to do good work and did my best to achieve goals, but got dragged down by coworkers and supervisors. They basically got jealous and started to see me as a treat, and therefore I got bullied a lot. Of course, I also did some shit at some moments, but I think it was way less than what I experienced. At a point, the bullying was too much for me so I cut off everyone as much as I could. I was basically going to work, not talking to anyone all day long, and then getting back to my small apartment. I was all alone, depressed, sometimes suicidal, and sometimes had panic attacks. Even if I'm far away from this now I still have many residues within myself that are impacting my ability to work and to use my brain properly. I currently associate work with pain where before that work used to be a way to express myself. Leo talked about how important it is to have a proper root and also mentioned that sometimes it's worthwhile taking time to fix the root rather than trying to force things. This is what I'm going to do. I was planning to start reading a new book recently, but it will wait. I will instead use this time to fix my work-related traumas .

So sharp as usual I'm happy to see the direction that actualized.org is taking by the way, especially with the book. I recently had a life purpose idea about understanding life deeply and interconnecting everything and then applying the knowledge to strategic areas on the planet in order to raise the level of consciousness and create chain effects. Even if you don't release the book, only the notes would be gold, but I think you will achieve it.

@Leo Gura Question: You mentioned that you were interested in connecting everything, and especially human development with consciousness. You also mentioned that you are getting to insane levels of consciousness when using psychedelics to the point that you feel so much joy where it goes full circle and becomes painful. Do you think it can be similar for global human development? What if societies become so advanced that everybody feels so much joy to the point where it becomes painful and boring and we seek back drama? Could societies collapse that way? Or could we globally as a species get stuck in a strange loop of Pain -> Joy -> Pain? Or could we find the proper balance at a point between high joy with still the possibility of experiencing drama in a controlled way so that living life ain't too boring?

I hate noises again. Sometimes I would like to be deaf.

06/02/2021 (Week 2) If any of what I wrote this week is true, it might be helpful if I... bring more consciousness to the words that I use bring more consciousness to the emotions that I share carefully choose the words that I share carefully choose the emotions that I share bring radical honesty to my life accept not being perfect notice my emotional patterns accept having needs and wants work to fulfill authentic needs and wants let go of inauthentic needs take 100% responsibility for my emotions take 100% responsibility for my awareness take 100% responsibility for the quality of my life

06 February 2021 Wake Up Time: 05:33 AM (objective 5:30 AM - 6:00 AM) In Bed Time: 09:45 PM (objective 9:00 PM - 9:30 PM) ❌ 45 minutes of Doing Nothing Before Going To Sleep Work Sessions: 08:56 AM - 10:24 AM I did a tool comparison and canceled a subscription Focus: 3.5/5 Duration: 1 hour 28 minutes 10:43 AM - 11:53 AM I did some corrections on a website and started the accounting course Focus: 3.5/5 Duration: 1 hour 10 minutes 11:59 AM - 12:30 AM I continued the accounting course Focus: 3.5/5 Duration: 31 minutes 01:21 PM - 02:51 PM I did more progress on the accounting course. It's quite basic for the moment Focus: 3.5/5 Duration: 1 hour 30 minutes 03:04 PM - 04:29 PM I continued the accounting course. It's still quite basic, I'm learning about Excel for the moment. I will not use many of its features in the future Focus: 3.5/5 Duration: 1 hour 25 minutes Average Focus: 3.5 / 5 (objective at least 3.5 / 5) Total Work Duration: 6 hours 4 minutes, including hours minutes of Deep Work (objective at least 6 hours) Total Reading Time: 0 minutes (I'm not reading anything currently)

Stage Red prevention. That's why moderating content is important.

I never wanted to fight with my hands, but I fight with my intellect and awareness. In high school when someone provokes me, I used to rip them intellectually. Now, I see no need to fight or to respond anymore, I just avoid confrontations, and I'm good. But I do think that all man should know how to defend himself in case he gets into an unavoidable situation. Two conscious ways to handle this masculine energy are through business and ultimately life purpose.

05/02/2021 (Week 2) If I bring 5 percent more awareness to my important relationships... I'll choose better words when communicating I'll develop more empathy I'll realize that by caring about others I'm caring about me I'll realize how interconnected I am I'll improve my social skills I'll be more loving I'll do the best that I can to help the people that I love If I bring 5 percent more awareness to my insecurities... I would not hide myself I'll take time to inspect my insecurities I'm taking the first baby steps to fix myself I'll relax my body when confronted with difficulties I'll breathe deeply in challenging situations I'll realize that I'm afraid of being poor I'll realize that I'm afraid of being dependent of my parents until they die I'll realize that I'm afraid of myself If I bring 5 percent more awareness to my deepest needs and wants... I'll recognize my need for social connections I'll accept having needs I'll draw distinctions between healthy needs and neurosis I'll recognize that my need to go fast is a neurosis that backfires on me I'll let go of the need to go fast I'll recognize the need for the now I'll do everything to fulfill my need for the now If I bring 5 percent more awareness to my emotions... I'll recognize my emotions better I'll recognize more my emotional patterns I'll see how to break neurotic emotional patterns I'll let go of neurotic emotional patterns I'll develop a little more emotional mastery every day I'll do better every day I'll do better in life

05 February 2021 Wake Up Time: 06:10 AM (objective 5:30 AM - 6:00 AM) In Bed Time: 09:30 PM (objective 9:00 PM - 9:30 PM) ❌ 45 minutes of Doing Nothing Before Going To Sleep Work Sessions: 09:38 AM - 10:46 AM I did a bunch of various stuff and searched for an accounting course Focus: 3.5/5 Duration: 1 hour 8 minutes 11:15 AM - 12:50 AM I finally choose an accounting course and bought a new software to test it out Focus: 3.5/5 Duration: 1 hour 35 minutes 07:39 PM - 08:10 PM I canceled a subscription, created internal links, shared an article on social medias, and sent an update message to a client. Focus: 3.5/5 Duration: 31 minutes They are some periods in life when we just want to be lazy and don't do anything. I'm currently in one of those phase. The hot weather is adding to this, I just want to go to the beach and lay down in front of it all day long. Average Focus: 3.5 / 5 (objective at least 3.5 / 5) Total Work Duration: 3 hours 14 minutes, including hours minutes of Deep Work (objective at least 6 hours) Total Reading Time: 0 minutes (I'm not reading anything currently)

I want my life to be deep, spiritual, magical, joyful, every day and in every way.

I just realized that if I let go of the identity of being an individual contributor on this forum I become everything on this place. Which means that I always get quoted and/or responded by everyone and that I'm the only one who gets views, the only one who gets the most views, and who will get views forever And in the end if I'm everything it means that I'm alone playing with myself, interracting with myself, and responding to myself

There's a lot of possibilities of making money. However, getting starting is tough and the competition is tough, if you have a good portfolio it will make things much easier for you. Also, a lot of people will compare prices when you'll get started and pressure you to do low prices. DON'T DO THIS, do high quality work and charge properly.

Crazy women.

04/02/2021 (Week 2) If I bring 5 percent more awareness to my important relationships... I'll bring more fun to my relationships I'll nurture them more I'll understand how important they are I'll be more happy with the people that I'm closed to I'll take more care of the people that I like I'll seek to understand other If I bring 5 percent more awareness to my insecurities... I'll accept more my imperfections I'll reveal myself more I'll see that I'm insecure about being insecure I'll be more honest with myself I'll take more time doing this sentence completion exercise to dig deeper in myself I'll accept that I cannot be perfect If I bring 5 percent more awareness to my deepest needs and wants... I'll recognize that I have natural needs I'll do the distinction between natural needs and unconscious ones I'll try to fullfill my deepest needs in a healthy way I'll schedule properly my days to take care of these needs I'll not be ashamed of having needs I'll accept myself more If I bring 5 percent more awareness to my emotions... I'll work with the emotional scale I'll let go of difficult emotions I'll bring more positivity I'll use better emotions I'll feel more comfortable at experiencing emotions I'll developer more and more emotional mastery everyday I'll grow up psychologically faster

04 February 2021 Wake Up Time: 06:21 AM (objective 5:30 AM - 6:00 AM) In Bed Time: 09:15 PM (objective 9:00 PM - 9:30 PM) ✅ 45 minutes of Doing Nothing Before Going To Sleep Work Sessions: 09:40 AM - 10:52 AM I did some research, contacted a person, and distracted myself a bit Focus: 3.5/5 Duration: 1 hour 12 minutes 11:17 AM - 12:53 AM I responded to a person and did a lot of research on SEO tools Focus: 3.5/5 Duration: 1 hour 36 minutes 01:46 PM - 03:14 PM I finished the SEO course, but I distracted myself a lot at the same time Focus: 3/5 Duration: 1 hour 28 minutes 03:23 PM - 04:42 PM I did some research Focus: 3/5 Duration: 1 hour 19 minutes This week looks like a backslash. Average Focus: 3.25 / 5 (objective at least 3.5 / 5) Total Work Duration: 5 hours 35 minutes, including 0 minutes of Deep Work (objective at least 6 hours) Total Reading Time: 0 minutes (I'm not reading anything currently)

The Emotional Guidance Scale https://www.actualityofbeing.com/tools

I really thought I was human...

I have a fear of being afraid of sharing too much on this forum and being wrong. Maybe it's because Leo bans people that are too dumb? But I feel like this fear is irrational because I think that I'm not that dumb.