Raphael

20 March 2021 Wake Up Time: 05:48 AM (objective 5:30 AM - 6:00 AM) In Bed Time: ~ PM (objective 9:00 PM - 9:30 PM) ✅ 45 minutes of Doing Nothing Before Going To Sleep Work Sessions: 09:32 AM - 10:29 AM Took care of some details, planned social media posts, and also did some corrections on my web app Focus: 3.5/5 Duration: 57 minutes 01:15 PM - 02:23 PM I communicated with a client and also tried to understand a bug Focus: 3.5/5 Duration: 1 hour 8 minutes Deep Work Sessions: 10:51 AM - 12:07 AM I continued working on my web app Focus: 3.75/5 Duration: 1 hour 16 minutes 02:38 PM - 03:53 PM I worked on fixing some bugs and also found another one. I had a lot of unrelated thoughts Focus: 3/5 Duration: 1 hour 15 minutes 04:00 PM - 04:36 PM I continued trying to fix some bugs. I also had a lot of unrelated thoughts Focus: 3/5 Duration: 36 minutes I'm good for this week. Average Focus: 3.35 / 5 (objective at least 3.5 / 5) Total Work Duration: 5 hours 12 minutes, including 3 hours 7 minutes of Deep Work (objective at least 6 hours) Total Reading Time: 0 minutes (I'm not reading anything currently)

So traditional that it cannot be anything else than blue. This is also much more healthy than stage orange food.

19/03/2021 (Week 8) If I am more accepting of my anger... I'll be more at peace with myself I'll be less reactive I'll be less anxious I'll understand where my anger is coming from I'll feel my anger I'll accept that I'm not angry, but sad and traumatized I'll resolve my traumas I'll experience sadness and distress I'll cry I'll let myself be in pain I'll function better in life If I deny and disown my anger... I stay traumatized I stay sad in the end I don't function properly my thoughts aren't clear I easily get angry against people life feels difficult I feel restricted in doing some activities I feel more rigid I entertain parasite thoughts I don't work properly If I am accepting of my sexuality... I accept to fap when necessary I accept having basic needs I'll be happy to be sexual I'll embrace my feminine side I'll embrace my masculine side I'll be dominant, yet gentle I'll use my sexual energy to achieve massive success in life If I deny and disown my sexuality... I remove a vital need I feel cut into pieces I don't feel natural I abstain from fapping I don't work properly I am agitated I feel that I'm repressing basic needs I'm not happy

19 March 2021 Wake Up Time: 05:59 AM (objective 5:30 AM - 6:00 AM) In Bed Time: ~ PM (objective 9:00 PM - 9:30 PM) ✅ 45 minutes of Doing Nothing Before Going To Sleep Work Sessions: 10:35 AM - 12:11 AM I worked on the transfer of a website Focus: 3.5/5 Duration: 1 hour 46 minutes Deep Work Sessions: 01:35 PM - 03:03 PM I worked on my web app. I had a lot of unrelated thoughts Focus: 3.5/5 Duration: 1 hour 28 minutes 03:09 PM - 04:34 PM I continued the previous improvements, but it also created a bug Focus: 3.5/5 Duration: 1 hour 25 minutes Average Focus: 3.5 / 5 (objective at least 3.5 / 5) Total Work Duration: 4 hours 39 minutes, including 2 hours 53 minutes of Deep Work (objective at least 6 hours) Total Reading Time: 0 minutes (I'm not reading anything currently)

If you think a thing is a thing, then you missed the thing.

I feel like many people from Gen Z dismiss this as not being a thing, where this is a very serious issue.

I confronted my dad just an hour ago. He was verbally abusive with my mom and was pressuring her. I saw this kind of shit all my life. That's the first time that I responded to him that way and in response he threatened to kick me out of the house, but I don't think that it was serious. To this point I don't care that much anymore because I earn enough money to sustain myself. However, I'm more concerned about my mom, I know that she won't quit because of some circumstances... I felt some fear and anger, my thoughts were agitated and I couldn't exercise properly. My dad ain't a man, but a fucking animal.

18/03/2021 (Week 8) If I am more accepting of my anger... I'll let go of my anger I'll express my anger I'll release traumas I'll cry because anger is only a facade that hides pain I'll feel better I'll breathe properly If I deny and disown my anger... I entertain bitterness I don't process past traumas I feel anxious around people I keep sadness inside me I don't appreciate life I have energy issues I block myself from raising my awareness I entertain a low self-esteem If I am accepting of my sexuality... I'll admit having questioned my sexual orientation recently I'll admit having a pretty important feminine side for a man I feel better I feel great about having natural needs I'll be more able to cover my natural needs I'll feel more liberated If I deny and disown my sexuality... I remove a part of myself I don't feel good I don't feel authentic I cannot function properly because basic needs aren't covered I feel sad I'm repressing myself

18 March 2021 Wake Up Time: 06:10 AM (objective 5:30 AM - 6:00 AM) In Bed Time: ~ PM (objective 9:00 PM - 9:30 PM) ✅ 45 minutes of Doing Nothing Before Going To Sleep Work Sessions: 10:01 AM - 11:13 AM I did some work on a website Focus: 3.5/5 Duration: 1 hour 12 minutes 11:19 AM - 12:03 AM I did some research about cumulative layout shifts Focus: 3.5/5 Duration: 44 minutes 03:58 PM - 04:39 PM I responded to a person, asked for credentials to another person, got some errors, and distracted myself Focus: 3/5 Duration: 41 minutes Deep Work Sessions: 01:13 PM - 02:29 PM I worked on the CLS optimization of a website Focus: 3.5/5 Duration: 1 hour 16 minutes 02:37 PM - 03:53 PM I worked on two websites Focus: 3.5/5 Duration: 1 hour 16 minutes Average Focus: 3.4 / 5 (objective at least 3.5 / 5) Total Work Duration: 5 hours 9 minutes, including hours minutes of Deep Work (objective at least 6 hours) Total Reading Time: 0 minutes (I'm not reading anything currently)

I fell into this trap and I can still fall for it. Sometimes I want to go fast, sometimes I want to rush life because I want to be on top of the world without appreciating the process. Sometimes I even feel guilty for not being this perfect self-actualizer who do everything right and fast and who understand everything.

Orange Obsession With Speed Orange is always obsessed with speed, always want things to go fast, and often under estimate the time that things takes. This causes unnecessary stress and pressure on him and the people that he works with and in the end backfires: some things are done improperly and take twice the time, results and money are lost, it create health issue, create emotional issues, and contribute to a shorter life.

17/03/2021 (Week 8) If I am more accepting of my anger... I'll become conscious of my anger I'll find the root cause of my anger I'll go through my anger by being angry I'll let my anger explode I'll understand that anger hides sadness and pain I'll understand that I'm just a hurt kid I'll let myself be vulnerable I'll resolve my anger If I deny and disown my anger... I entertain sadness I keep pain in my body I'm disagreeable with people I criticize things and people more I'm dissatisfied with life I don't function properly I don't live to my full potential If I am accepting of my sexuality... I'll accept being vulnerable I recognize having natural needs I'll accept that sexuality is part of life I'll be more comfortable with girls, especially sexual girls, pretty girls, and overall attractive girls I'll improve my mood I'll improve the clarity of my mind If I deny and disown my sexuality... I don't feel authentic I feel split into different pieces I don't feel normal I put unnecessary restrictions on myself I feel anxious about my sexuality I repress my sexuality I entertain a form of toxic behavior against myself

17 March 2021 Wake Up Time: 06:13 AM (objective 5:30 AM - 6:00 AM) In Bed Time: 10:00 PM (objective 9:00 PM - 9:30 PM) ✅ 45 minutes of Doing Nothing Before Going To Sleep Work Sessions: 10:34 AM - 12:08 AM I searched for images for articles Focus: 3.5/5 Duration: 1 hour 34 minutes 02:30 PM - 04:34 PM I added new services pages to a website Focus: 3.5/5 Duration: 2 hours 4 minutes Average Focus: 3.5 / 5 (objective at least 3.5 / 5) Total Work Duration: 3 hours 38 minutes, including hours minutes of Deep Work (objective 0 minutes) Total Reading Time: 0 minutes (I'm not reading anything currently)

Don Beck is quite old and surely has unconscious biases, fears, and cultural attachments, which is probably why he wrongly categorized Trump. Even on this forum, an ex moderator voted for Trump. I don't think that these models would ever become mainstream because nobody is imposing them compared to some religious texts, so there is less risk for SD to become mainstream, but of course, this is not a certainty. Most of the time just reading about a complex model is already too challenging for people, but some bits of information can be shared here and there and be misunderstood. Thanks. I also check your journal sometimes, but I don't always have time to go through the long detailed posts.

Be the pain, feel it, merge with it, until you become it and don't feel the difference between pain and joy, until you become painless, until you become god.

A bad night of sleep can put me down for two days.

But it's possible for someone who doesn't know how to use the mind properly to use Spiral Dynamics improperly. For example, Don Beck categorized Trump as Blue/Yellow. Using Spiral Dynamics doesn't always mean that someone has a healthy mind. There's surely a correlation between using complex models and being a nuanced thinker, but they are also exceptions, and someone's environment, age, and other conditions impact how he/she will apply a model. The ones who apply it best are the ones with the most recursive variety. Yeah, I also have been noticing more and more discrepancies within Spiral Dynamics as some developmental lines can overlaps and be twisted in many ways. I even started to get bored of it as I have been knowing about it since 2015/2016 in Leo's video "The Grand Model Of Psychological Evolution - Clare Graves & Spiral Dynamics". I never met anyone at Tier 2 in real life. The most advanced people that I met were at Green with a few hints of Yellow. Tier 2 thinkers are doomed to use the internet to meet similar people, and even on the internet it's difficult lol

16/03/2021 (Week 8) If I am more accepting of my anger... I'll release my anger I'll develop more emotional mastery I'll move faster the emotional scale I'll understand where it is coming from I'll understand that anger is part of life and that I don't need to be guilty for being angry I'll fix my anger I'll accept being human If I deny and disown my anger... I feel restricted I keep anger inside me I'm angry against people I unconsciously share anger my mind doesn't function properly my anger increases every day I become more bitter and more hateful every day If I am accepting of my sexuality... I accept having natural needs I won't be guilty saying that I want a girlfriend to have sex I feel more authentic I feel more comfortable with my sexuality I feel more sexual I feel happier I'll fap when I'll need If I deny and disown my sexuality... I repress basic life needs I don't work well I close myself from authenticity I try to be someone that I'm not I keep too much sexual energy in my body which leads to feeling restricted and having strange body languages I don't feel healthy I'm basically starving

16 March 2021 Wake Up Time: 06:20 AM (objective 5:30 AM - 6:00 AM) In Bed Time: 10:05 PM (objective 9:00 PM - 9:30 PM) ❌ 45 minutes of Doing Nothing Before Going To Sleep Work Sessions: 09:37 AM - 10:56 AM I took time to write a pretty dense answer to a client Focus: 3.5/5 Duration: 1 hour 19 minutes 01:02 PM - 02:09 PM I got a new contract (yeeee!) and did some research. I currently feel tired because of a sleepless night, I'm going to have a nap Focus: 3.5/5 Duration: 1 hour 7 minutes 02:44 PM - 04:36 PM I added a new custom menu item and changed some structures on a client's website Focus: 3.5/5 Duration: 1 hour 52 minutes Deep Work Sessions: 11:16 AM - 11:55 AM I responded to a person and did some improvements on the statistics board Focus: 3.5/5 Duration: 39 minutes Average Focus: 3.5 / 5 (objective at least 3.5 / 5) Total Work Duration: 4 hours 57 minutes, including 39 minutes of Deep Work (objective at least 6 hours) Total Reading Time: 0 minutes (I'm not reading anything currently)

@Average Investor There's not a huge amount of money involved, so I don't see a need for a lawyer. It was some work for 100$ and now I consider that I should charge at least 200$, but it's complicated because we had a miscommunication. He himself told me that when he do a mistake doing his job, he takes responsibility for it and finish it no matter what even if it hurts him. He don't want to ask for more to the client, however I don't know how he would act if he had a miscommunication with a client that caused him to do more work than necessary. He currently see me as being dishonest and trying to trick him in order to get paid more.

Something just happened to me. I was having a conversation with a client and I told him that I worked much more than expected this month, he responded that it wasn't the case. What basically happened is miscommunication and I ended up doing much more than I was supposed to do. He told me that it wasn't his fault and that I was responsible for everything. I personally think that it was both of us as a miscommunication can only happen between at least two people. So... he wants me to take full responsibility for this and pays for everything. I think that we should compensate a minimum for each other, and both of us take charge, so... I should get pay but not as much as normal. He seems very stage orange. What do you think? P-S: I'm not sure if I'm trying to manipulate the situation here, maybe I'm trying?

For a few years, I have been entertaining a feeling of fear in my abdomen. Sometimes it is burning like a fire inside that prevents me to sleep. This is not something temporary, but something that I have been dealing with for a few years. The first time it happened was during my first panic attack. Even if I don't have panic attacks now, I noticed that this feeling sometimes becomes stronger when I deal with people who show strong emotions like anger, jealousy, bitterness (toxic stuff in general), or when I want to go fast to attain my goals, or when I watch porn. I also had this feeling one time when watching a TV show and when the character was in a difficult situation. I don't really know how to let it go. What would be general steps, things to check, and/or to explore?

15/03/2021 (Week 8) If I am more accepting of my anger... I'll understand where my anger is coming from I'll feel my anger I'll work on my anger I'll let go of my anger I'll be able to understand myself I'll be able to understand my suffering I'll be able to understand my pain If I deny and disown my anger... I keep my anger in myself I share this anger with people I push back people I feel agitated I limit my progress I limit my love I entertain fear If I am accepting of my sexuality... I'll accept that I have needs I wouldn't be ashamed of my sexuality my relationship to my body would be more healthy I'll appreciate being sexual I'll feel happier being myself I'll deal better with my sexual cravings If I deny and disown my sexuality... I repress natural needs I feel restricted I feel limited I don't feel authentic I close myself from myself I stay away from finding a partner