Raphael

Exploring Racial Biases: Understanding Differences of Development Sometimes I think about why are some areas of the world more developed than others and try to understand the causes. Here is the ultimate answer: They are no ultimate answer to these questions. This is how it is. Trying to understand that keeps us stuck in the mind and entertain difficult emotions. And this answer is the ultimate answer. Here's how an argumentation would go: Why is this place so under developed? Because people don't have that many resources. Why people don't have that many resources? Because they have been exploited by other people in the past and these people looted all the resources. How is it that these people looted all the resources? Because they were evil and violent, and because the people here didn't have any possibility to fight back. Why they didn't have any possibility to fight back? Because they didn't have the same technology. Why they didn't have the same technology? Because the natural environment was already less favorable and they have to deal with common natural disasters. Why do they have to deal with common natural disasters? Because this is an area where the winds can be very strong multiple times per year. Why the winds can be very strong? Why the earth do that at this specific place? Why the earth is formed as it is? What is the impact of the sun on this area? Why is the solar system that way? Why is our galaxy that way? Why is the universe that way? ...and it goes on and on for infinity. See? At a moment it becomes useless to try to understand and it only keeps us stuck in the mind. Being in this circle continues to entertain difficult thoughts and emotions. To start to fix these issues, understanding needs to be scaled down to not get lost in the mind and enough scaled up to have a proper meta-perspective. Reality is how it is, it doesn't mean that it always has to be the same way. With efforts, system thinking, and holistic thinking it's possible to improve the global situation, but people need to let go of their biases, develop compassion, and acknowledge that these issues aren't personal. This is just life being itself, playing with itself, suffering by itself, and trying to make itself better through trial and error.

Exploring Racial Biases: Collective White Shadow & Collective POC Trauma There is a global collective shadow within white people and many of them aren't aware of it. This shadow shows as sarcasm, jokes, and subtle assumptions. It is more difficult to see than direct insults or criticism. Of course, being too serious in life isn't healthy and it's important to have fun and some of these jokes aren't always serious and don't necessarily mean something implicit. However, it becomes a problem if it's a common behavior as it creates internalized racists shadows without people being conscious of it. It's basically a self-fulfilling circle, but they don't think of it as racism because it doesn't hurt anybody (from their perspective) and it's fun. I noticed that many white people who have friends from other backgrounds do this without being aware of the traumatic baggage behind it. My sister told me a story, she was with a white friend and it was time to move, her friend told her: "Come on slave!". She was shocked by this and I was also astonished when she told me this story. Her friend wasn't aware of the global trauma within people of color and she just thought she was making a joke. After that, her friend felt really bad for saying such a thing and then apologized. I think that this kind of situation can often happen with young white people, they just don't understand what they are doing and don't understand that they absorbed some racism from previous generations. There is a global collective trauma within people of color. Even if slavery has been abolished (but other forms of racism continue), the trauma of being oppressed is still there with many people of color. I noticed that sometimes, I saw moments where a white person would start to speak to a person of color and this person of color would start to get nervous even if the white person wasn't doing anything nor say anything offensive. I also think that many people of color have an internalized sense of inferiority because we hear so much about the west and how developed it is. I saw people of color being kinder and treating white people better than people of their own background. I have a sense that some of them feel the sense to submit, or obey, especially when I was working in an offshore company. The communications were very simple, they were afraid of speaking and often times just responding affirmatively "Ok. Ok...". I mentioned in the previous paragraph that many white people aren't conscious of the racist connotation of some of their jokes. However, I saw cases where a white person would say a joke that I didn't consider racist at all that would petrify a person of color. A case happened in my country where a white person was doing a humourous speech and made fun of the Indian accent, most people didn't saw anything racist in that (white, Indians, and others included), however, some were scandalized. After that, the guy had to explain himself to the authorities and he even made a video saying that he was sorry and that he didn't know that some jokes could hurt that much. I personally didn't saw this as racist, but I also never thought in my entire life of making fun of someone's accent and have difficulties understanding why someone would do that. My perspective is probably a bit messed up here, I think I lack understanding on collective shadows, traumas, and lack understanding on how humor works. In the end, I see multiple perspectives: A behavior will be considered as racist for the person who feels that its racist A behavior will be considered as non racist for the person who feels that its not racist On the evolutionary scale, some behaviors are just better than others for the global happiness of the specie. Implicit jokes don't help evolution towards a greater good but maintain homeostasis and shadows. Discussions need to happen within people to tackle racism and create peace The human specie is a meta organism, and this meta organism isn't aware yet and doesn't always know what is racist or not and what to do so that it can feel better and be healthier. It still doesn't know how to regulate itself in a healthy way

24/04/2021 (Week 13) If any of what I wrote this week is true, it might be helpful if I... search for a small office isolated from noises cut toxic people cut my dad from my life search for authentic open-minded friends entertain a healthy, proactive, positive attitude towards life cover my needs accept my current self-esteem take responsibility to improve my self-esteem

24 April 2021 Wake Up Time: 08:40 AM (objective 5:30 AM - 6:00 AM) In Bed Time: 10:05 PM (objective 9:00 PM - 9:30 PM) ❌ Stretching after waking up ❌ Cold shower after waking up ✅ No social media until 7 PM (Doesn't apply on Saturday) ✅ 45 minutes of Doing Nothing Before Going To Sleep Work Sessions: No work for today Average Focus: ~ / 5 (objective at least 3.5 / 5) Total Work Duration: 0 minutes, including 0 minutes of Deep Work (objective 0 minutes) Total Reading Time: 0 minutes (objective at least 45 minutes)

Yes, I'm an introvert. I'm personally fine coding for ~4 hours per day, however, after 4 hours I feel that I'm starting to overdo it.

@BartekD Even if it was emotionally in your case, what impact did it have on your health? Did you feel like you would explode at some point?

23/04/2021 (Week 13) If I take 5 percent more responsibility for my standard of living... I'll take more care of my body I'll try to change my environment I'll try to make more money through freelancing I'll respect my needs more I'll improve my happiness I'll do better in life I'll let go of social medias If I take 5 percent more responsibility for my choice of companions... I'll search for healthy friends I'll feel better about relationships I'll enjoy more the company of people I'll get more support in life I could be more authentic with people I'll let go of difficult people If I take 5 percent more responsibility for my personal happiness... I'll do things that makes me happy I'll cover my needs I'll let go of socials medias I'll let go of unnecessary thoughts I'll do a better in life every day I'll see my work as a pleasure I'll work better If I take 5 percent more responsibility for the level of my self-esteem... I'll accept my current self-esteem I'll work with intense focus I'll say what I want to say I'll do what I want to do I'll do things out of love my living conditions would improve my psychological condition would improve my body condition would improve

23 April 2021 Wake Up Time: 08:40 AM (objective 5:30 AM - 6:00 AM) In Bed Time: 10:32 PM (objective 9:00 PM - 9:30 PM) ✅ Stretching after waking up ✅ Cold shower after waking up ❌ No social media until 7 PM ❌ 45 minutes of Doing Nothing Before Going To Sleep Deep Work Sessions: 01:18 PM - 02:51 PM I worked on Instagram scheduling Focus: 3.5/5 Duration: 1 hour 33 minutes 04:45 PM - 06:14 PM I continued the work on Instagram scheduling, however I distracted myself a bit too much Focus: 3/5 Duration: 1 hour 29 minutes 08:34 PM - 09:33 PM I continued working on Instagram scheduling Focus: 3.5/5 Duration: 59 minutes I didn't sleep of the entire night, therefore I was tired all day and my work was very chaotic. Average Focus: 3.33 / 5 (objective at least 3.5 / 5) Total Work Duration: 4 hours 1 minute, including 4 hours 1 minute of Deep Work (objective at least 6 hours) Total Reading Time: 0 minutes (objective at least 45 minutes)

How Can Some People Work 10+ Hours / Day? We all know these stories about people working 10, 12, 14, 16 hours per day for weeks or months. I personally don't understand how something like this is humanly possible. What is the mindset behind this? How are these people able to work that much without exploding? Most of the work that I do is programming which is incredibly cognitively demanding. After 25 - 30 hours, I already feel tired. I pushed it sometimes in the past, however after 40 hours, it becomes too much for me.

Wow, that's an awesome explanation, thank you! So... the key thing about systems thinking is being able to consider many causations and interconnecting them rather than being focused on one single cause?

Exploring Racial Biases: This ... Person Have you ever said something like this: This black guy This black girl This white guy This white girl This arab guy This arab girl This Brazilian guy This Brazilian girl This ... guy This ... girl Why did you do it? If you ever said something similar, that's a sign that you need to inspect your biases. Have you absorbed that from your environment? Did you felt oppressed by some people? Did some people hurt you and you ended up stereotyping? Was it justified or not? Do you have some resentment against some group? In all cases, whether it was small, subtle, or intense, you have some shadow work to do.

Exploring Racial Biases: Noticing Races & Racism of Dad I always saw my dad obsessed with people's ethnicity. For any person, he asks: "What kind of person is this? Black? White? Indian?". When watching the TV, he always looks at people faces and says things like: "That's a black", "That's a Chinese", "That's a Madras", "That a white", "That's a fucking [INSERT ETHNICITY]", "That's a [INSERT ETHNICITY] shitass", "[INSERT ETHNICITY] is a shitty race", "All these people are [INSERT EXTREMELY VIOLENT INSULT]". He is obsessed with people's ethnicity, he often says extremely racist things about almost everybody. This is worst than racism to this point, this is hate of anybody, one day he said that we need to kill all homosexuals and that we also need to beat women. I'm sick of this nonsense. I never cared about people's background most of my life, however, I saw myself noticing a bit more ethnicities in recent years and just thinking: "Oh, that's a ...". I might have absorbed a few tiny bits from my dad here.

Exploring Racial Biases: Biases Vs. Real Social Problems People who have a huge cultural identity often feel threatened by this. Sometimes a critic of a culture isn't racism, but the acknowledgment of a real social problem. Examples: Obesity in the United-States The condition of women in Indian Racism in China etc. All of these are real social problems that need to be addressed. I think that all cultures need conscious criticism and deconstruction, and the actualized.org forum is the perfect place to have these discussions.

That's the thing about my situation, white people are a privileged minority where I live so they developed mostly at stage orange/low green where the rest of the population is mostly at stage blue. Therefore my experience with them has overall been much better than with other groups or with my family. I never got threatened by a white person, no white person ever threw rocks at my dogs or tried to beat them where it happened a lot with people of color. However, I'm conscious that my experience is partial and I guess that it would have been different if I lived most of my life in a white majority country. I got a few questions and some subtle racism while living in Europe, my sister also told me one day that she got insulted by a man while she was standing in the street, the man said full of hate: "BITCH!". I can imagine how difficult it can be to be a person of color living in a white majority country and getting hate and threats just for existing as a human being.

22/04/2021 (Week 13) If I take 5 percent more responsibility for my standard of living... I'll try to find a separate office I'll sleep more I'll work without noises I'll do better in life I won't accept mediocrity I'll raise my standards If I take 5 percent more responsibility for my choice of companions... I'll spend time with more open-minded people I'll be more able to express myself I'll be able to be more authentic around people I'll finally have great relationships I'll enjoy people a bit more I'll get more satisfaction from my relationships If I take 5 percent more responsibility for my personal happiness... my happiness would increase I would be more motivated to do what I want to do I'll be more enthusiastic I'll do things that make me happy I'll let go of unnecessary thoughts I'll let go of distractions and would be more in the now If I take 5 percent more responsibility for the level of my self-esteem... I'll accept my level of self-esteem I'll be OK with where I am on the self-esteem scale I'll increase my self-esteem a bit more every day I'll work with intense focus I'll say what I want to say I'll focus more on myself I'll do better in life

22 April 2021 Wake Up Time: 06:45 AM (objective 5:30 AM - 6:00 AM) In Bed Time: 10:30 PM (objective 9:00 PM - 9:30 PM) ✅ Stretching after waking up ✅ Cold shower after waking up ✅ No social media until 7 PM ✅ 45 minutes of Doing Nothing Before Going To Sleep Work Sessions: 10:22 AM - 12:00 AM I implemented a few things on my web app, then had a discussion with a client Focus: 3.5/5 Duration: 1 hour 38 minutes Deep Work Sessions: 08:38 AM - 10:05 AM I did some small corrections on two web apps and schematized some ideas Focus: 3.5/5 Duration: 1 hour 27 minutes 12:53 AM - 02:00 PM I fixed some text on a small app and improved my web app Focus: 3.5/5 Duration: 1 hour 7 minutes 02:10 PM - 02:48 PM I did some improvements on one of the small web app Focus: 3.5/5 Duration: 38 minutes 04:32 PM - 05:59 PM I started to implement cron jobs on my app's backend Focus: 3.5/5 Duration: 1 hour 27 minutes Average Focus: 3.5 / 5 (objective at least 3.5 / 5) Total Work Duration: 6 hours 17 minutes, including 4 hours 39 minutes of Deep Work (objective at least 6 hours) Total Reading Time: 0 minutes (objective at least 45 minutes)

Exploring Racial Biases: Environmental Influence & Spiral Development A few years ago I used to think that everyone was equal, then I discovered Spiral Dynamics and everything started to make sense. People are not equal. They not only have different skills, but they also are not all equally cognitively developed. Western societies are more developed. Most of the countries that have the highest Human Development Index are White majority countries and most of the countries that have the least corruption are also White majority countries. It doesn't mean that they are perfect, some elements actually look pretty bad compared to other cultures, I'm thinking here of: western medicine (antiquated compared to eastern medicine), mainstream western food, spirituality, the fast-paced lifestyle, and the obsession with success and productivity. However, overall they work better and people have more freedom and security. I personally clearly saw the difference when I moved to Europe in the past, everything just worked better. While there, I noticed that people often complained about small things... well... they don't understand how lucky they are and sometimes how ridiculous are the things that they are complaining about. Spiral Dynamics can be dangerous, some people who aren't highly developed can use it to stereotype some specific groups. It's especially dangerous with a racist person who has a lot of influence as a person like this can widespread a message than say that this message is justified by science. The mistake that a racist makes is to attribute some behaviors to genetics rather than looking at environmental circumstances... I think that we have seen enough remarkable people from any background to this point to invalidate the genetic theory. The ability for a person or a group of people to develop properly is dependent on their environment: if a country gets bombed, it's very difficult for people to develop; if a storm destroys a village, it's very difficult for people to develop; if the climate is either too cold or too hot, it's very difficult for people to develop; if it's difficult to get water, it's very difficult for people to develop; if they are dangerous animals, it's very difficult for people to develop; etc. Just the kind of food that we eat has an influence on how our brains and bodies function, poor people cannot always eat healthy and therefore get trapped in a strange loop that causes health problems... Some people are just more lucky than others when it comes to the environment. Those who are born in a difficult environment can get trapped in a strange loop for centuries, and even the ones who have natural talents stay limited by their environment.

21/04/2021 (Week 13) If I take 5 percent more responsibility for my standard of living... my life would feel better I'll try to change my environment I'll let go of social medias I won't settle for less I'll develop better self-actualization would be easier If I take 5 percent more responsibility for my choice of companions... I'll choose more healthy companions I'll cut toxic people I'll discover what it's like to have healthy relationships I'll enjoy relationships about I'll be more open to share about myself I'll feel understood I'll understand that relationships can be great and fulfilling If I take 5 percent more responsibility for my personal happiness... I'll let go of unnecessary thoughts I'll continue working on my traumas I'll continue making peace with people who hurt me my happiness would increase a bit every day I'll be happier to live life I'll do better in life I'll be more content If I take 5 percent more responsibility for the level of my self-esteem... I'll accept myself unconditionally I'll work a bit better I'll have more focus I'll increase my self-esteem I'll do better in life my social anxiety would decrease it would create a snowball effect where my self-esteem would increase which then would allow me to take more responsibility for my self-esteem, and improve more and more my self-esteem

21 April 2021 Wake Up Time: 06:29 AM (objective 5:30 AM - 6:00 AM) In Bed Time: 10:40 PM (objective 9:00 PM - 9:30 PM) ✅ Stretching after waking up ✅ Cold shower after waking up ❌ No social media until 7 PM ❌ 45 minutes of Doing Nothing Before Going To Sleep Deep Work Sessions: 09:15 AM - 10:25 AM I worked on Instagram publishing, I also did some research, and communicated with a person Focus: 3.5/5 Duration: 1 hour 10 minutes 10:44 AM - 12:13 AM I had a communication with a client, I distracted myself a bit and started to fix some issues on a small web app Focus: 3.5/5 Duration: 1 hour 29 minutes 01:19 PM - 02:50 PM I continued the improvements on the small web apps. I wasn't super focused as I was speaking with my sister at the same time Focus: 3/5 Duration: 1 hour 31 minutes 04:56 PM - 06:18 PM I worked on Instagram posts scheduled. I distracted myself a bit Focus: 3.5/5 Duration: 1 hour 22 minutes 07:22 PM - 08:05 PM I continued doing improvements on Instagram scheduling Focus: 3.5/5 Duration: 43 minutes Average Focus: 3.4 / 5 (objective at least 3.5 / 5) Total Work Duration: 6 hours 15 minutes, including 6 hours 15 minutes of Deep Work (objective at least 6 hours) Total Reading Time: 0 minutes (objective 0 minutes)

@Rilles By the way, can you explain it a bit for people who don't know about systems thinking? I'm personally interested in learning systems thinking, but I never had the time to do it.

@Rilles The full image URL needs to be used rather than the Imgur post URL.

Fear of Success I noticed that I'm afraid of success which is ironically what I have been working on since the last 3 years. I know that with the competencies that I have I can easily become successful, but this fear is holding me back. I need to let it go. It's OK to become rich and successful. It's OK to be richer than most people. It's OK and it's also a necessity for my self-actualization journey.

20/04/2021 (Week 13) If I take 5 percent more responsibility for my standard of living... I'll respect more my timetable I'll improve my organization I'll cut useless things I'll won't settle for less I'll have minimum standards I'll work without noises If I take 5 percent more responsibility for my choice of companions... I'll cut difficult people I'll open myself to people I'll try to find high-quality people to spend time with I'll spend time online listening to better quality people I'll spend time with authentic people I'll improve my happiness I'll finally feel understood If I take 5 percent more responsibility for my personal happiness... I'll entertain a positive and proactive attitude I'll open myself to new experiences I'll do things that make me happy I'll let go of unnecessary thoughts I'll let go of things that I don't need I'll create happiness within myself If I take 5 percent more responsibility for the level of my self-esteem... I'll do things that improve my self-esteem I'll value my work I'll be more focused I'll accept myself unconditionally I'll try to find a better environment as soon as possible my self-esteem would improve

Starting from tomorrow, I will add these items to my daily checklist: Stretching after waking up Cold shower after waking up No social media until 7 PM I noticed that I work much better when I do that. The most difficult thing will be to cut social media, I will have to force it and suffer through it.

20 April 2021 Wake Up Time: 07:02 AM (objective 5:30 AM - 6:00 AM) In Bed Time: ~ PM (objective 9:00 PM - 9:30 PM) ✅ 45 minutes of Doing Nothing Before Going To Sleep Work Sessions: 11:03 AM - 11:55 AM I communicated with a client, continued a bit the tutorial. I don't know why, but I'm very tired Focus: 3/5 Duration: 52 minutes 04:49 PM - 06:15 PM I started to work on Instagram publishing Focus: 3.5/5 Duration: 1 hour 26 minutes Deep Work Sessions: 09:40 AM - 10:42 AM I started learning about Rxjs Focus: 3.5/5 Duration: 1 hour 2 minutes 01:23 PM - 02:58 PM I continued learning about Rxjs for a job application, but I'm not sure my competencies will be enough because they are looking for someone who already has some skills with this technology Focus: 3.5/5 Duration: 1 hour 35 minutes 07:30 PM - 08:36 PM Did a few maintenance tasks and work on Instagram publishing Focus: 3.5/5 Duration: 1 hour 6 minutes I'm still dealing with the backslash of yesterday, so it's still a bit difficult for me to work. Average Focus: 3.4 / 5 (objective at least 3.5 / 5) Total Work Duration: 6 hours 1 minute, including 3 hours 43 minutes of Deep Work (objective at least 6 hours) Total Reading Time: 0 minutes (objective at least 45 minutes)