Raphael

01 July 2021 Wake Up Time: 09:00 AM (objective 5:30 AM - 6:00 AM) In Bed Time: 11:00 PM (objective 9:00 PM - 9:30 PM) ✅ Stretching after waking up ❌ Cold shower after waking up ❌ No social media until 7 PM ✅ 45 minutes of Doing Nothing Before Going To Sleep Deep Work Sessions: 01:12 PM - 02:40 PM I made a lot of improvements on the publisher, I'm very satisfied with what I did so far. I'm almost done here. Duration: 1 hour 28 minutes Focus: 3.75/5 Progress: 4/4 04:26 PM - 06:03 PM I'm still working on the publisher. I'm getting some bugs. I distracted myself a bit too much during this session. Duration: 1 hour 37 minutes Focus: 3.5/5 Progress: 3.5/5 07:45 PM - 09:50 PM I completed the image upload. I got some bugs concerning video upload. Duration: 2 hours 5 minutes Focus: 3.5/5 Progress: 4/5 I'm still backsliding. Total Work Duration: 5 hours 10 minutes, including hours minutes of Deep Work Average Focus: 3.58 / 5 (objective at least 3.5 / 5) Average Progress / Session: 3.8 / 5 (objective at least 3/5)

What Women Wants Generally, women want: A strong, stable, and reliable man. A financially stable man. A leading man. A confident man. Containment. This comes as healthy dominance which makes the woman feel safe with her partner. High integrity. Honesty. Respect. High competencies in dealing with life. High emotional mastery. Humour. Playfulness. Emotional support. Support in difficult situations. Deep emotional connection. Intimacy. Sex: dominant sex, intimate sex. I think I got things right.

30/06/2021 (Week 23) At the thought of giving my child-self what he/she needs from me... I feel reconnecting with myself I feel nurturing I feel being an healthy parent I feel responsible I think I can grow enormously I'm showing back my child-self At the thought of giving my teenage-self what he/she needs from me... I feel that I can build a bridge to communicate with my teenage-self I feel that I can understand my teenage-self I feel that my connection with myself is getting deeper I feel that my teenage-self will show himself more I think that repressed emotions will show up I think I can improve my capacity to love difficult people we would grow together If my child-self and I were to fall in love... we would communicate more we would trust each other more I'll open up to my child-self my child-self would open up to me we would embrace each other we would cry in each other arms we would share our joy If my teenage-self and I were to fall in love... my teenage-self would express himself I would comfort my teenage-self I would change my mind on my teenage-self my teenage-self would feel more comfortable in expressing himself we would work better together we would make peace together we would cry in each other arms we would heal our shared wounds My teenage self is pretty hurt overall.

30 June 2021 Wake Up Time: 09:00 AM (objective 5:30 AM - 6:00 AM) In Bed Time: 10:55 PM (objective 9:00 PM - 9:30 PM) ✅ Stretching after waking up ❌ Cold shower after waking up ❌ No social media until 7 PM ✅ 45 minutes of Doing Nothing Before Going To Sleep Work Sessions: 11:09 AM - 12:57 AM Fixed a bug, did some testing, had an issue with git but fixed it. Duration: 1 hour 48 minutes Focus: 3.75/5 Progress: 1/5 Deep Work Sessions: 02:01 PM - 02:38 PM I started doing some improvements on a Facebook related API. Duration: 37 minutes Focus: 3.75/5 Progress: 4/5 04:20 PM - 05:36 PM I did some progress on the Facebook API improvements. Duration: 1 hour 16 minutes Focus: 3.5/5 Progress: 4/5 07:40 PM - 09:33 PM Completed the improvement to the Facebook API, did a change to Instagram API, and dealt with an issue on github. Duration: 1 hour 53 minutes Focus: 3.75/5 Progress: 3/5 Didn't sleep of the entire night, which caused me to stay in bed pretty late. The day was overall difficult. Total Work Duration: 5 hours 43 minutes, including 3 hours 46 minutes of Deep Work Average Focus: 3.69 / 5 (objective at least 3.5 / 5) Average Progress / Session: 3 / 5 (objective at least 3/5)

Simply beautiful.

I have been having thoughts about dating, relationships, about me not wanting to get involved in relationships and being a virgin at 24, about my limited environment, about toxic masculinity, about the relationship of my parents, about my sister and the risks for her to get involved into a toxic relationship, about healthy relationships, about meta relationships, etc. since the last 2 months but didn't write anything... It's time to throw everything out.

The World + Dating From The Female Perspective It's really interesting to try to see things from the female perspective: The Truth About Being A Girl BEING A WOMAN - What I Love & Hate || Dana Originals Multifemale ● What Can I Say About Being a Woman (FULL) 12 Things About Being A Woman That Women Won't Tell You 10 hours of walking but this time she talks back (BEST CATCALL parody) 10 Hours of Walking in NYC as a Woman A Man And A Woman Compare Running Alone At Night 5 Things You Can Do (Now!) When Finding The Love Of Your Life Feels IMPOSSIBLE Where are all the good men? 19 reasons it’s so hard to find a good man What to look for in a guy: 37 good qualities in a man The Raw Attractive Power All Men Have that Women Won't Admit to Feeling Don’t Be Afraid To Offend Men! He Said Another Woman Is More Attractive Than Me. How Do I Cope? How To Test Him To See If He Cares How To Be A High Value Woman In 2021: 3 Traits To Avoid! Should I Control My Emotions To Be High Value? How To Make Him Chase You & Value You How To Get A Boyfriend: Avoid These 3 Things & Get One Quick 8 of the Most Common Sexual Fantasies 14 Reasons You Can’t Get Wet During Sex 12 Greatest Sex Tips for Women

29/06/2021 (Week 23) At the thought of giving my child-self what he/she needs from me... I feel that I'm helping myself I feel that I understand myself better my child-self is trusting me more my child-self is opening more I feel responsible I can learn from myself I become more authentic At the thought of giving my teenage-self what he/she needs from me... I feel that I can understand my teenage-self anger I think I can solve conflicts with my teenage-self my teenage-self opens up my teenage-self can finally grow my teenage-self can finally get his needs covered I can resolve repressed anger, frustration, and similar emotions If my child-self and I were to fall in love... we would embrace ourselves we would hold each other hands we would communicate better we would trust ourselves we would show our vulnerabilities we would make peace If my teenage-self and I were to fall in love... we would communicate on our issues we would embrace each other we would start to understand each other better we would resolve our conflicts we would make peace we would work together we would trust ourselves

29 June 2021 Wake Up Time: 07:00 AM (objective 5:30 AM - 6:00 AM) In Bed Time: 11:50 PM (objective 9:00 PM - 9:30 PM) ✅ Stretching after waking up ✅ Cold shower after waking up ❌ No social media until 7 PM ✅ 45 minutes of Doing Nothing Before Going To Sleep Deep Work Sessions: 08:45 AM - 09:29 AM I worked on my app, then got interrupted. Duration: 44 minutes Focus: 3.5/7 Progress: 4/5 09:42 PM - 10:25 PM I continued the previous work. They are noises popping out of everywhere, this is pretty annoying to work in this kind of environment. Duration: 43 minutes Focus: 3.5/5 Progress: 3/5 11:13 PM - 01:02 PM I worked on handling file upload and progress. I distracted myself a bit. Duration: 1 hour 49 minutes Focus: 3.5/5 Progress: 3/5 01:45 PM - 02:42 PM I continued the progress on the file upload interface. Duration: 57 minutes Focus: 3.5/5 Progress: 3.5/5 07:12 PM - 08:47 PM I did good progress on the integration of files. Duration: 1 hour 35 minutes Focus: 3.5/5 Progress: 4/5 08:59 PM - 09:51 PM I'm currently getting some errors concerning file upload on Twitter. I was less focused during this session. Duration: 52 minutes Focus: 3/5 Progress: 2/5 I'm currently doing some testing on my waking up and going to bed hours. I'm trying to see how it feels when I follow the day-night cycle, rather than trying to wake up when it's still dark. For the moment, this is allowing me to automatically wake up without an alarm, which is great. Total Work Duration: 6 hours 40 minutes, including 6 hours 40 minutes of Deep Work Average Focus: 3.42 / 5 (objective at least 3.5 / 5) Average Progress / Session: 3.25 / 5 (objective at least 3/5)

A lot of people are horny on this forum... including me.

28/06/2021 (Week 23) At the thought of giving my child-self what he/she needs from me... I feel responsible I feel nurturing my child self feels that he can trust me my child self feels safer my child-self feels that he can trust me I feel being a good parent of myself I feel that I can trust myself I feel my confidence increasing I feel my self-esteem improving At the thought of giving my teenage-self what he/she needs from me... my teenage-self feels supported my teenage-self feels understood my teenage-self feels more courageous my teenage-self feels more motivated I feel that I can integrated this part of myself who wants to exists in the world I feel my competences improving I feel more loving If my child-self and I were to fall in love... I'll hold my child-self in my arms we would walk holding each other hands I'll say to my child-self that I love him my child-self would tell me that he loves me we would build a great relationship together my child-self would open up to me I'll respond to my child-self needs we would better speak to each other If my teenage-self and I were to fall in love... my teenage-self would appreciate my company I'll talk more to my teenage-self my teenage-self would allow himself to be more vulnerable I would enjoy my time with my teenage-self I would embrace my teenage-self my teenage-self would show what he is capable of we would appreciate each other my teenage-self would be less angry we would work together and support each other

28 June 2021 Wake Up Time: 08:30 AM (objective 5:30 AM - 6:00 AM) In Bed Time: 10:42 PM (objective 9:00 PM - 9:30 PM) ✅ Stretching after waking up ❌ Cold shower after waking up ✅ No social media until 7 PM ✅ 45 minutes of Doing Nothing Before Going To Sleep Work Sessions: 07:20 PM - 07:53 PM Did some verification, sent an email. Duration: 33 minutes Focus: 3.5/5 Progress: 3/5 Deep Work Sessions: 10:06 AM - 10:48 AM Did some testing. Duration: 42 minutes Focus: 3.75/5 Progress: 3/5 11:05 AM - 12:34 AM I fixed the bugs related to the date picker and started to connect the interface to the API. Duration: 1 hour 29 minutes Focus: 3.5/5 Progress: 3/5 01:55 PM - 02:34 PM Did some improvements in connecting the interface with the Facebook publishing API. Duration: 39 minutes Focus: 3.75/5 Progress: 3.5/5 04:26 PM - 05:54 PM The closer I'm getting to launch this app, the scarier it gets. Duration: 1 hour 28 minutes Focus: 3.5/5 Progress: 3.5/5 08:04 PM - 09:38 PM I did some work on auto disabling certain features on the app and also managing publishing notifications. Duration: 1 hour 34 minutes Focus: 3.5/5 Progress: 3/5 I'm going to keep the duration metric finally, but will not put a minimum objective. I want to be sure that I don't bullshit around without being obssessed about the time that I spend working. Total Work Duration: 5 hours 43 minutes, including 5 hours 10 minutes of Deep Work Average Focus: 3.58 / 5 (objective at least 3.5 / 5) Average Progress / Session: 3.16 / 5 (objective at least 3/5)

@Michael569 Yes, this is still the case. I'm also working on clearing my traumas and I feel like each time I release some stuff my thoughts gets a bit clearer. So it is a combination of different things: proper nutrition, trauma release work, and more.

27/06/2021 (Week 22) If any of what I wrote this week is true, it might be helpful if I... find inner conflicts with my younger selves and other sub-personalities fix the inner conflicts with my younger selves and other sub-personalities let my child-self express his emotions let my teenage self express his emotions support my younger selves communicate more with my younger selves let my younger selves exist within myself make peace with my younger selves

These metrics are a bit screwed. The way that I'm measuring my focus and progress is way too simplistic and dismisses the duration of the sessions.

Weekly Statistics (21 June 2021 - 27 June 2021) Average Focus 3.56 / 5 Average Progress / Session 3.46 / 5

27 June 2021 Wake Up Time: 07:30 AM (objective 5:30 AM - 6:00 AM) In Bed Time: 10:50 PM (objective 9:00 PM - 9:30 PM) ✅ Stretching after waking up ✅ Cold shower after waking up ~ No social media until 7 PM (Doesn't apply on Saturday) ✅ 45 minutes of Doing Nothing Before Going To Sleep Work Sessions: No work for today I'm currently trying to do some organizational changes concerning my waking up hour and going to bed hours. Average Focus: ~ / 5 (objective at least 3.5 / 5) Average Progress / Session: ~ / 5 (objective at least 3/5)

26/06/2021 (Week 22) If any of what I wrote this week is true, it might be helpful if I... let myself be let my child-self express himself let my teenage-self express himself shout to let go of repressed emotions provide security to my younger selves provide comfort to my younger selves listen to my younger selves understand my younger selves nurture my younger selves give my younger selves the love that they didn't get

26 June 2021 Wake Up Time: 07:26 AM (objective 5:30 AM - 6:00 AM) In Bed Time: 10:58 PM (objective 9:00 PM - 9:30 PM) ✅ Stretching after waking up ✅ Cold shower after waking up ~ No social media until 7 PM (Doesn't apply on Saturday) ✅ 45 minutes of Doing Nothing Before Going To Sleep Work Sessions: No work for today Average Focus: ~ / 5 (objective at least 3.5 / 5) Average Progress / Session: ~ / 5 (objective at least 3/5)

I think I repressed my masculinity many times in the past. The masculine examples that I had were ultra toxic and caused me to perceive feminity as being better than masculinity and to better trust the feminine. Yet, this is a trap, masculinity ain't necessarily toxic. Immature masculinity is toxic, but well-integrated masculinity with a proper feminine balance is super powerful.

Reuniting My Father Self With My Mother Self I had a nice conversation with myself lately. It was so interesting that I want to put it here. -------------------------------- Higher Self Lower Self Higher Self Lower Self Higher Self Lower Self Higher Self Lower Self Higher Self Lower Self Higher Self Lower Self Higher Self Lower Self Higher Self

I'm not even deep into that nor spirituality to be honest, but so far here's what has been most effective for me: Forgiveness: most powerful thing that I discovered. Just a few sessions cleared my mind from a lot of intrusive thoughts of past traumas. Breathwork: just super powerful. I feel the trapped emotions flowing through my body and getting released. Screaming, crying, just letting the body express itself. It releases what it accumulated. Instrospection, comtemplation. Talking with subpersonalities. I didn't do this that much, but I feel like this is promising and can solve many inner conflicts.

25/06/2021 (Week 22) Sometimes my child-self feels rejected by me when I... don't self-express don't express my joy don't listen to my basic needs hide my authenticity don't let me be refuse to cry Sometimes my teenage-self feels rejected by me when I... don't give him support repress my emotions don't follow my ambition don't open up hide my sadness pretend that everything is OK have a negative self-talk One of the things my child-self needs from me and rarely gets is... nurturing compassion love joy self-expression touch One of the things my teenage-self needs from me and hasn't gotten is... support the authorization to express himself encouragements motivation love understanding touch attention an honest vulnerable communication One of the ways my child-self gets back at me for rejecting him/her is... sadness self-isolation social anxiety lack of friends depression fear distrust One of the ways my teenage-self gets back at me for rejecting him/her is... repressed anger laziness lack of motivation distrust lack of focus discouragement pain sadness

25 June 2021 Wake Up Time: 07:45 AM (objective 5:30 AM - 6:00 AM) In Bed Time: 10:40 PM (objective 9:00 PM - 9:30 PM) ❌ Stretching after waking up ✅ Cold shower after waking up ❌ No social media until 7 PM ✅ 45 minutes of Doing Nothing Before Going To Sleep Work Sessions: 08:51 PM - 09:20 PM Did some tests, found some bugs on the publisher. Focus: 3.5/5 Progress: 3.5/5 Deep Work Sessions: 11:20 AM - 12:22 AM Almost completed the issues with this date time picker. Focus: 3.75/5 Progress: 3/5 01:46 PM - 02:50 PM I continued the work on the date time picker. I also had other thoughts and therefore caused me to be a bit unfocused. Focus: 3.5/5 Progress: 3/5 07:13 PM - 08:43 PM Things are getting better with this date time picker. A few things are a bit messy, but I already lost a lot of time so I won't play the perfectionist here. Focus: 3.75/5 Progress: 4/5 I've been backsliding lately. My work has been less regular. Average Focus: 3.625 / 5 (objective at least 3.5 / 5) Average Progress / Session: 3.37 / 5 (objective at least 3/5)