Raphael

23/07/2021 (Week 26) Sometimes when I am excited I... have a big smile on my face feel like a kid want to jump want to share my excitement feel a bit crazy want some attention Sometimes when I am turned on sexually I... want to masturbate want to watch porn want to fuck feel the need for a partner have difficulties to work have difficulties to sleep Sometimes when I experience strong feelings I... am afraid to show them feel paralyzed don't want to be vulnerable don't know what to do with them feel human want to be authentic If I make friend with my excitement... I'll open up more with my excitement I'll share more my excitement I'll accept being excited I'll be more in touch with myself I'll be more authentic I'll be happier If I make friend with my sexuality... I'll be more sexually open I'll accept having sexual needs I won't be ashamed of my sexual needs I'll be more sexual I'll be more comfortable with the opposite sex I'll be honest about my sexuality As I grow more comfortable with the full range of my emotions... I'll experience all my emotions I'll accept having emotional needs I understand myself better I'm becoming more in touch with myself I'm becoming more authentic I'm increasing my emotional mastery

23 July 2021 Wake Up Time: 07:35 AM (objective 6:30 AM - 7:00 AM) In Bed Time: 11:01 PM (objective 10:30 PM - 11:00 PM) ✅ Stretching after waking up ✅ Cold shower after waking up ✅ 45 minutes of meditation in the morning ✅ No social media until 7 PM ✅ 30 minutes of Doing Nothing Before Going To Sleep Work Sessions: 10:25 AM - 11:24 AM Responded to a few people, uploaded some files, filled my work hours on Upwork Duration: 59 minutes Focus: 3.5/5 Progress: 3/5 Deep Work Sessions: 11:30 AM - 12:22 AM I'm feeling a bit tired. Duration: 52 minutes Focus: 3.5/5 Progress: 3/5 02:06 PM - 02:45 PM Did some progress on the mobile design on this small app. Duration: 39 minutes Focus: 3.5/5 Progress: 3.5/5 04:37 PM - 05:27 PM I continued the previous progress. Duration: 50 minutes Focus: 3.5/5 Progress: 3.5/5 08:06 AM - 09:32 AM I continued the previous responsive design work. Duration: 1 hour 26 minutes Focus: 3.5/5 Progress: 3.5/5 Total Work Duration: 4 hours 46 minutes, including 3 hours 47 minutes of Deep Work Average Focus: 3.5 / 5 (objective at least 3.5 / 5) Average Progress / Session: 3.3 / 5 (objective at least 3/5)

Thoughts are going everywhere, yet I'm always there.

Unhealthy Green uses shame similarly to stage Blue to portrait itself as being good. Healthy Green shows its vulnerabilities and dirtiness and works through them. After that, it gets into Yellow.

Shame is used at stage Green too. To transcend stage Green, show how dirty you really are.

Selfishness = Selflessness The only difference is a matter of interpretation. Selfishness range from low conscious selfishness to high conscious selfishness. Selflessness range from low conscious selflessness to high conscious selflessness. There's nothing better than living a high conscious selfish life or high conscious selfless life. There's nothing worst than living a low conscious selfless life or low conscious selfish life. Egoic selfishness isn't that different from egoic selflessness. Spiritual selfishness isn't that different from spiritual selflessness. In the end, or the beginning, or the now, what is is what is.

22/07/2021 (Week 26) Sometimes when I am excited I... feel like a kid laugh smile want to share my excitement want to be with people want to open up Sometimes when I am turned on sexually I... think about porn want to masturbate want to fuck am agitated have difficulties to work have difficulties to sleep Sometimes when I experience strong feelings I... am uncomfortable with them tend to hide them become paralyzed feel different don't know what to do with them I feel agitated If I make friend with my excitement... I would become more authentic I would understand how to handle my excitement I would share my excitement I would accept my excitement I would talk about my excitement I would write about my excitement I would let myself be excitement I would let myself laugh If I make friend with my sexuality... I would be more in touch with my sexuality I would be more sexually open I would accept having sexual needs I would be more authentic I would like myself more I would be more natural As I grow more comfortable with the full range of my emotions... I'm becoming more comfortable in expressing my emotions I'm becoming more emotionally aware I'm becoming more comfortable with sharing my emotions my emotions are becoming more positive I'm becoming more emotionally open I'm appreciating myself more

22 July 2021 Wake Up Time: 07:35 AM (objective 6:30 AM - 7:00 AM) In Bed Time: 11:20 PM (objective 10:30 PM - 11:00 PM) ✅ Stretching after waking up ✅ Cold shower after waking up ✅ 45 minutes of meditation in the morning ✅ No social media until 7 PM ❌ 30 minutes of Doing Nothing Before Going To Sleep Deep Work Sessions: 10:18 AM - 11:36 AM Worked on a small web app. My mind was pretty agitated and they were also a lot of annoying noises outside. Duration: 1 hour 18 minutes Focus: 3.5/5 Progress: 3.5/5 11:43 AM - 12:45 AM I continued the previous work. Duration: 1 hour 2 minutes Focus: 3.5/5 Progress: 3.5/5 01:56 PM - 02:54 PM I continued the previous work. Duration: 58 minutes Focus: 3.5/5 Progress: 4/5 04:37 PM - 05:41 PM I worked on the responsive design of this app. Duration: 1 hour 4 minutes Focus: 4/5 Progress: 3.5/5 07:48 PM - 09:03 PM I continued the work on the responsive design. Duration: 1 hour 15 minutes Focus: 3.5/5 Progress: 3/5 09:14 PM - 09:50 PM I continued the work on the responsive design. Duration: 36 minutes Focus: 3.5/5 Progress: 3/5 Total Work Duration: 6 hours 13 minutes, including 6 hours 13 minutes of Deep Work Average Focus: 3.58 / 5 (objective at least 3.5 / 5) Average Progress / Session: 3.42 / 5 (objective at least 3/5)

21/07/2021 (Week 26) Sometimes when I am excited I... smile a lot want to share it with people want to show it feel like a kid want to run around like a kid don't want people to see it am ashamed of it Sometimes when I am turned on sexually I... have sexual thoughts want to watch porn want to masturbate have difficulties staying calm want to fuck think about having a partner Sometimes when I experience strong feelings I... have difficulties communicating them am a bit uncomfortable don't know what to do feel paralyzed feel agitated feel the need to express them If I make friend with my excitement... I'll be more in touch with myself I'll share more my excitement I'll allow myself to be excited I'll feel happier by myself I'll become more joyful people would appreciate me more If I make friend with my sexuality... I'll be more comfortable talking about my sexuality I'll be OK with having sexual needs I'll be more sexually open I'll recognize my difficulties regarding sexuality I'll be more attractive to the opposite sex I'll be more authentic As I grow more comfortable with the full range of my emotions... I understand that self-expression is healthy I understand my emotions better I'm improving my emotional mastery I'm becoming more authentic my emotions are working more and more for me I'm becoming more emotionally open I'm becoming more human

22 July 2021 Wake Up Time: 08:54 AM (objective 6:30 AM - 7:00 AM) In Bed Time: 10:56 PM (objective 10:30 PM - 11:00 PM) ✅ Stretching after waking up ❌ Cold shower after waking up ✅ 45 minutes of meditation in the morning ❌ No social media until 7 PM ✅ 30 minutes of Doing Nothing Before Going To Sleep Deep Work Sessions: 11:16 AM - 12:46 PM Did some work on the backend API for my app. Duration: 1 hour 30 minutes Focus: 3.5/5 Progress: 3/5 02:11 PM - 02:55 PM Did some improvements on Instagram publish cron. Duration: 44 minutes Focus: 3.5/5 Progress: 3/5 04:50 PM - 06:23 PM Did a bit of front end and back end work. Duration: 1 hour 33 minutes Focus: 3.5/5 Progress: 3/5 07:41 PM - 09:04 PM Did some progress on Facebook scheduling. Duration: 1 hour 23 minutes Focus: 3.5/5 Progress: 3/5 09:10 PM - 10:00 PM Did some testing on Facebook scheduling. Distracted myself a bit. Duration: 50 minutes Focus: 3.5/5 Progress: 3/5 Sleep + avoiding distractions at all costs are the most important things. Total Work Duration: 6 hours 0 minute, including 6 hours 0 minute of Deep Work Average Focus: 3.5 / 5 (objective at least 3.5 / 5) Average Progress / Session: 3 / 5 (objective at least 3/5)

Agree.

Paintings of Leonid Afremov are insanely beautiful: https://afremov.com/

21 July 2021 Wake Up Time: 07:10 AM (objective 6:30 AM - 7:00 AM) In Bed Time: 00:17 AM (objective 10:30 PM - 11:00 PM) ✅ Stretching after waking up ✅ Cold shower after waking up ✅ 45 minutes of meditation in the morning ✅ No social media until 7 PM ❌ 30 minutes of Doing Nothing Before Going To Sleep Work Sessions: 10:15 AM - 10:30 AM Called the revenue authority, but didn't get any answer. Duration: 15 minutes Focus: 3.5/5 Progress: 3/5 12:05 PM - 12:11 PM Called the revenue authority again, but didn't get any answer again. Duration: 6 minutes Focus: 3.5/5 Progress: 3/5 01:25 PM - 01:48 PM Made a bit of progress with the revenue authority, but I'm still not there. Duration: 23 minutes Focus: 3.5/5 Progress: 3/5 Deep Work Sessions: 10:30 AM - 12:00 PM Worked on a small web app. Duration: 1 hour 30 minutes Focus: 3.5/5 Progress: 3/5 01:49 PM - 03:20 PM More work on this web app. Duration: 1 hour 31 minutes Focus: 3/5 Progress: 3/5 03:53 PM - 04:31 PM Went back working on my app. Did some progress on the backend API. Duration: 38 minutes Focus: 3/5 Progress: 2/5 Got lazy at night and also got trapped in a procrastination circle caused by homeostatis. Total Work Duration: 4 hours 23 minutes, including 3 hours 39 minutes of Deep Work Average Focus: 3.33 / 5 (objective at least 3.5 / 5) Average Progress / Session: 2.83 / 5 (objective at least 3/5)

20/07/2021 (Week 26) Sometimes when I am excited I... want to jump want to share joy laugh for no reason want to talk would like to share my thoughts with people become more open Sometimes when I am turned on sexually I... want to fuck want to masturbate want to watch porn think about having a partner cannot work cannot sleep Sometimes when I experience strong feelings I... tend to hide them have difficulties managing them want to share them want to meet people that can understand me don't know what to do observe myself curiously If I make friend with my excitement... I'll share more my excitement I'll show my excitement I'll write about my excitement I'll talk about my excitement I'll let myself being excited I'll be more in touch with myself I'll be more authentic If I make friend with my sexuality... I'll accept having sexual needs I'll be more comfortable with my sexuality I'll be more open about my sexuality I won't be ashamed of my sexuality I'll be more authentic I'll be more authentically sexual As I grow more comfortable with the full range of my emotions... I understand that my emotions are OK I start to express more I understand myself better I feel more authentic by expressing my emotions I become more honest with myself I understand my emotions better I accept to experience my emotions

It's funny because growing up I had highly toxic masculine examples which cause me to defend more the "female side". Have you ever felt something like this before? I feel like this is something that can happen at stage Green.

INTP in Relationships Some points of the MBTI concerning INTPs and relationships really resonates with me. However, the fact that INTPs are considered to be unemotional robots resonates less than it used to. I made a lot of progress in the past five years regarding my emotions and feel much more open than before in this area. Most compatible types: INTP, INTJ, INFP, ENTP, ISTP, INFJ, ENTJ, ENFP. https://www.16personalities.com/intp-relationships-dating https://www.truity.com/personality-type/INTP/relationships

Makes perfect sense! But I think that doing exercises such as this one can be the first step before taking action. Sometimes going directly for the action can be a bit too difficult therefore a bit of positive psychology and mental de-conditioning is important.

I noticed that when I'm becoming 50/50 balanced between masculinity and femininity I feel like my brain is going to have an existential crisis.

My brain is shifting between masculinity and femininity when I read threads like this. The boy inside me agree with other boys and the girl inside me agree with other girls, but how do I balance things out? This is really tricky sometimes for me.

Awesome advices @RendHeaven

This forum is in a horny phase. It's time to organize an actualized orgy.