Raphael

04 August 2021 Wake Up Time: 08:18 AM (objective 6:30 AM - 7:00 AM) In Bed Time: 11:39 PM (objective 10:30 PM - 11:00 PM) ✅ Stretching after waking up ❌ Cold shower after waking up ✅ 45 minutes of meditation in the morning ✅ No social media until 7 PM ✅ 30 minutes of Doing Nothing Before Going To Sleep Deep Work Sessions: 11:01 AM - 12:33 PM Damn! This interface looks so incredibly good! I'm very satisfied with my work. I was a bit distracted by a client's messages during this session, but I did some great work overall. Duration: 1 hour 32 minutes Focus: 3.5/5 Progress: 4/5 02:00 PM - 02:52 PM I continued the work on the interface, but I got a bit tired at the end. Duration: 52 minutes Focus: 3.5/5 Progress: 3/5 04:43 PM - 05:50 PM I'm having some difficulties dealing with some popovers. Duration: 1 hour 7 minutes Focus: 3.5/5 Progress: 3/5 09:23 PM - 11:00 PM I continued the progress on the popovers. I distracted myself from time to time. Duration: 1 hour 37 minutes Focus: 3/5 Progress: 3.5/5 Sleep was difficult again. I was agitated, I had an insane amount of thoughts. Total Work Duration: 5 hours 8 minutes, including 5 hours 8 minutes of Deep Work Average Focus: 3.37 / 5 (objective at least 3.5 / 5) Average Progress / Session: 3.37 / 5 (objective at least 3/5)

Looks like I'm on the complete opposite side lol. I have four dogs and I take all of them for a walk every day. Where I live people are very afraid of dogs, even when they have leashed some people freak out. I had people throwing rocks at my dogs and taking sticks, it really annoyed me sometimes. I was walking today when I saw a man freaking out even though he was pretty far away. He took a stick and went hiding behind a wall, I found that ridiculous. I can understand your difficulties if you had traumas related to dogs. What I noticed is that people who are afraid of dogs attract dogs and have much more chances of getting bitten again. Personally, I had many times unleashed dogs coming close to me and barking at me, in response, I would just calmly continue walking and nothing would happen. In worst cases, a strong foot kick on the ground would make them run away. Concerning asserting yourself, you can just say a strong "NO!" when someone's dog comes too close to you. A woman did that when one of my dogs jumped close to her and I think that is an appropriate response if you are afraid. Finally, I think that if you know someone who has a dog it could be a great idea to spend time with this person and the dog to help sort your traumas. Dogs aren't bad, yet they can get afraid (just like you) and hurt.

I think that many people have high standards in relationships, however very few fit them. Also, how about me? How much do I fit? After all, I can just theorize forever while not fitting these standards in reality.

The High Conscious Partner Here are what I consider to be the characteristics of a healthy partner. These characteristics can be used as a self-assessment checklist. They apply to both genders. A high-quality person will resonate with that and if the person is not there yet, he/she will do everything to get there. The high-conscious partner can sustain itself independently. The high-conscious partner is happy by itself and has a positive, proactive attitude towards life. The high-conscious partner takes responsibility for his/her life, is a life-long learner, and constantly self-improves. The high-conscious partner has a healthy integration of all Tier 1 stages. The high-conscious partner is as authentic as possible. The high-conscious partner has high awareness. The high-conscious partner can admit biases and mistakes and correct them. The high-conscious partner can take constructive feedback. The high-conscious partner can give constructive feedback. The high-conscious partner is a good listener. The high-conscious partner is genuine. The high-conscious is empathetic. The high-conscious partner is respectful of everyone and respects people's boundaries. The high-conscious partner communicates openly, honestly, and has a deep humility. The high-conscious partner has high emotional mastery and can deal with its emotions in a healthy way. The high-conscious partner can show its vulnerabilities and issues, share them, and discuss them. The high-conscious partner has high-integrity and do everything to maintain its integrity as high as possible. The high-conscious partner is flexible and can change quickly depending on the situation. The high-conscious partner has a healthy relationship with its body. He/She cares about its body, eat healthily and exercise without being obsessed by it. The high-conscious partner is comfortable and open with its sexuality. The high-conscious partner doesn't have any strong addiction that prevents him/her to function properly in life. The high-conscious partner doesn't have any strong biases against any group of people based on origin, ethnicity, gender, gender orientation, or similar things.

Life is about constructing yourself while deconstructing yourself.

03/08/2021 (Week 28) Mother gave me a view of myself as... a good person a smart person a beautiful person head in the cloud person a baby a anot normal person Father gave me a view of myself as... a dumb person an incompetent person weak person shy person a baby a not normal person Mother speaks through my voice when I tell myself... that I can do good that I'm very intelligent that I'm a dreamer that I'm not normal that I need to care about others that I'm great Father speaks through my voice when I tell myself... that I am dumb that I am incompetent that I am socially awkward that I can't succeed in life that I'm not enough that I'm terrible that I cannot communicate with people that I cannot be myself that I am a failure

03 August 2021 Wake Up Time: 08:06 AM (objective 6:30 AM - 7:00 AM) In Bed Time: 11:45 PM (objective 10:30 PM - 11:00 PM) ✅ Stretching after waking up ❌ Cold shower after waking up ✅ 45 minutes of meditation in the morning ✅ No social media until 7 PM ❌ 30 minutes of Doing Nothing Before Going To Sleep Work Sessions: 10:54 AM - 11:23 AM Checked a few documents, responded to a freelancer. Duration: 29 minutes Focus: 3.5/5 Progress: 3.5/5 Deep Work Sessions: 11:23 AM - 12:32 PM I did some improvements on a web app. I distracted myself a bit. Duration: 1 hour 9 minutes Focus: 3.5/5 Progress: 3.5/5 01:55 PM - 02:55 PM I continued the previous improvements. Duration: 1 hour Focus: 3.5/5 Progress: 3.5/5 04:31 PM - 06:15 PM I completed an update on the client's app and continued the work on my personal project. Duration: 1 hour 44 minutes Focus: 3.75/5 Progress: 4/5 08:54 PM - 10:45 PM I worked on the calendar interface. I'm really satisfied with the result. I was a bit distracted because I was speaking with my sister at the same time, but did a lot of progress anyway. Duration: 1 hour 51 minutes Focus: 3.5/5 Progress: 4/5 Had a difficult night of sleep, but I worked well anyway. I noticed that when I meet some new people they can instantly motivate me to push forward. The best thing would be to have more intrinsic motivation, but that's better than anything. Total Work Duration: 6 hours 13 minutes, including 5 hours 44 minutes of Deep Work Average Focus: 3.55 / 5 (objective at least 3.5 / 5) Average Progress / Session: 3.7 / 5 (objective at least 3/5)

Thanks.

02/08/2021 (Week 28) Mother gave me a view of myself as... a good boy a very intelligent person a strange person a head in the clouds person a beautiful person a handsome person a dependent person Father gave me a view of myself as... a dumb person a weak person a shy person a incompetent person a weird person a not normal person Mother speaks through my voice when I tell myself... that I'm very intelligent that I can do good that I forget things, therefore, cannot do stuff that I'm very incompetent and dependent on others that I look good that I'm strange Father speaks through my voice when I tell myself... that I am weak that I am shy that I'm going to fail that I'm going to be incompetent forever that I'm not social that I'm an idiot that I lack confidence and self-esteem

02 August 2021 Wake Up Time: 07:06 AM (objective 6:30 AM - 7:00 AM) In Bed Time: 10:56 PM (objective 10:30 PM - 11:00 PM) ✅ Stretching after waking up ✅ Cold shower after waking up ✅ 45 minutes of meditation in the morning ✅ No social media until 7 PM ✅ 30 minutes of Doing Nothing Before Going To Sleep Deep Work Sessions: 09:55 AM - 10:48 AM I worked on some crons related to Facebook management. I had a lot of unrelated thoughts. Duration: 53 minutes Focus: 3.5/5 Progress: 3.5/5 11:03 AM - 12:15 AM I continued the work on the crons, did a pull request, and merged it. Duration: 1 hour 12 minutes Focus: 3.5/5 Progress: 3.5/5 01:38 PM - 02:42 PM I created an API to get scheduled Facebook posts for a specific month. I also begun working on an API to delete specific scheduled posts. Duration: 1 hour 4 minutes Focus: 3.75/5 Progress: 4/5 04:17 PM - 06:12 PM Completed some APIs and started to work back on the interface. I did a lot of progress. Duration: 1 hour 55 minutes Focus: 3.75/5 Progress: 5/5 07:58 PM - 09:35 PM I did some good progress on the calendar interface. Duration: 1 hour 37 minutes Focus: 3.5/5 Progress: 4/5 Really good day. Total Work Duration: 6 hours 41 minutes, including hours minutes of Deep Work Average Focus: 3.6 / 5 (objective at least 3.5 / 5) Average Progress / Session: 4 / 5 (objective at least 3/5)

01/08/2021 (Week 27) If any of what I wrote this week is true, it might be helpful if I... rebuild the connection with my child-self rebuild the connection with my teenage-self listen to my younger selves give the love that my younger selves needs create a safe space for my younger selves without over-protecting them which gives them the freedom to express themselves trust my younger selves love my younger selves

Weekly Statistics (25 July 2021 - 01 August 2021) Total Working Time 23 hours 26 minutes Average Focus 3.27 / 5 Average Progress / Session 3.32 / 5

01 August 2021 Wake Up Time: 07:39 AM (objective 6:30 AM - 7:00 AM) In Bed Time: 10:16 PM (objective 10:30 PM - 11:00 PM) ✅ Stretching after waking up ✅ Cold shower after waking up ✅ 45 minutes of meditation in the morning ~ No social media until 7 PM (Doesn't apply on Sunday) ✅ 30 minutes of Doing Nothing Before Going To Sleep Deep Work Sessions: 02:11 PM - 02:44 PM Did some tests. Duration: 33 minutes Focus: 3.5/5 Progress: 3.5/5 Total Work Duration: 33 minutes, including 33 minutes of Deep Work Average Focus: 3.5 / 5 (objective at least 3.5 / 5) Average Progress / Session: 3.5 / 5 (objective at least 3/5)

31/07/2021 (Week 27) If any of what I wrote this week is true, it might be helpful if I... create a balanced safe space for my younger selves that allows them to feel safe without feeling oppressed and at the same time allow them to have a lot of freedom give help to my younger selves nurture my younger selves am kind to my younger selves become genuinely interested in my younger selves give love to my younger selves encourage my younger selves let go of judgments of my younger selves support my younger selves

31 July 2021 Wake Up Time: 07:37 AM (objective 6:30 AM - 7:00 AM) In Bed Time: 11:17 PM (objective 10:30 PM - 11:00 PM) ✅ Stretching after waking up ✅ Cold shower after waking up ❌ 45 minutes of meditation in the morning ~ No social media until 7 PM (Doesn't apply on Saturday) ❌ 30 minutes of Doing Nothing Before Going To Sleep Work Sessions: No work for today Total Work Duration: 0 minutes, including 0 minutes of Deep Work Average Focus: ~ / 5 (objective at least 3.5 / 5) Average Progress / Session: ~ / 5 (objective at least 3/5)

Can you develop more? Merci ? C'est pas toujours très simple dans la vie quotidienne, mais je fait de mon mieux.

30/07/2021 (Week 27) If I think about becoming better friends with my child-self... I'm becoming more open with my child-self I'm becoming more playful with my child-self my child-self would trust me more my child-self would express himself to me my child-self would share with me my child-self would embrace me If I think about becoming better friends with my teenage-self... my teenage-self would feel more comfortable with me my teenage-self would open up to me my teenage-self would feel an emotional connection I'll understand my teenage-self better I'll understand my teenage-self needs I'm becoming more integrated As my younger selves become more comfortable with me... I become more comfortable with my younger selves we become more vulnerable my younger selves enjoys more and more my presence my younger selves are becoming more peaceful they become more honest they are opening up emotionally they are expressing themselves more and more As I create a safe space for my child-self... my child-self feels safe only is this safe space is minimal I'm becoming more healthy my child-self feels protected my child-self is trusting me more my child-self feels that he can express himself in safety my child-self is appreciating me more As I create a safe space for my teenage-self... my teenage-self doesn't want it my teenage-self feel safe only if I keep the safety as minimal as possible which then allows him to have freedom my teenage-self starts to trust me my teenage-self is getting some courage my teenage-self is getting more motivated my teenage-self is expressing himself more and more authentically my teenage-self feels safe

30 July 2021 Wake Up Time: 07:47 AM (objective 6:30 AM - 7:00 AM) In Bed Time: 11:42 PM (objective 10:30 PM - 11:00 PM) ✅ Stretching after waking up ✅ Cold shower after waking up ✅ 45 minutes of meditation in the morning ❌ No social media until 7 PM ✅ 30 minutes of Doing Nothing Before Going To Sleep Work Sessions: 11:34 AM - 11:51 AM Filled my hours on Upwork, did a bit of accounting. Duration: 16 minutes Focus: 3.5/5 Progress: 3/5 Deep Work Sessions: 11:52 AM - 12:47 PM I worked on some HTML/CSS design, but still have some issues. Duration: 55 minutes Focus: 3.5/5 Progress: 3/5 02:04 PM - 02:47 PM I completed the design bugs. Duration: 44 minutes Focus: 3.5/5 Progress: 3.5/5 04:27 PM - 05:32 PM I started working back on my app. I did some updates on the Facebook schedule cron. Duration: 1 hour 5 minutes Focus: 3.5/5 Progress: 3.5/5 Total Work Duration: 3 hours 0 minutes, including 2 hours 44 minutes of Deep Work Average Focus: 3.5 / 5 (objective at least 3.5 / 5) Average Progress / Session: 3.25 / 5 (objective at least 3/5)

This kind of rhetoric is so incredibly toxic, I'm blown away when I see things like this especially coming from a "self-actualized" person. This guy is considering suicide, yet there is a complete lack of empathy, there is mockery which is even worse. I like Leo and I obtained great value from his videos, but honestly he has a toxic side. Some of his posts and also his attitude in some videos had a negative influence on me.

29/07/2021 (Week 27) If I think about becoming better friends with my child-self... I'll accept my child-self more my child-self would accept me more I try to understand the struggles of my child-self I'll become more honest with my child-self my child-self is opening more my child-self is trusting me more If I think about becoming better friends with my teenage-self... I'll allow my teenage-self to express all his emotions I'll give my teenage-self the support that he needs without over-controlling him, nor spoon-feeding him my teenage-self is getting motivated my teenage-self wants to prove himself my teenage-self is opening up to me my teenage-self is becoming courageous my teenage-self is trusting me more As my younger selves become more comfortable with me... I become more comfortable with them our communication gets better our relationship gets better we are working better together we are doing better together we can trust each other in dealing with life's situations As I create a safe space for my child-self... my child-self don't feel safe but oppressed I understand that my safe space needs to be properly balanced to provide enough safety without over-controlling my child-self this safe space allows my child-self to express himself fully and safely my child-self is trusting me my child-self starts to feel safe without being oppressed my child-self is appreciating me more my child-self feels in security As I create a safe space for my teenage-self... my teenage-self doesn't trust me because he feels over-controlled I understand that this safe space needs to protect while at the same time being as minimal as possible to allow my teenage-self to have a lot of freedom I understand that a balanced safe space is what my teenage-self needs more my teenage-self is starting to trust me more my teenage-self feels that he his free to express himself wherever he wants while still feeling safe my teenage-self is becoming more and more authentic my teenage-self is loving me more and more my relationship with my teenage-self is skyrocketing my communication with my teenage-self is skyrocketing my love for my teenage-self is skyrocketing

29 July 2021 Wake Up Time: 07:57 AM (objective 6:30 AM - 7:00 AM) In Bed Time: 11:31 PM (objective 10:30 PM - 11:00 PM) ✅ Stretching after waking up ✅ Cold shower after waking up ✅ 45 minutes of meditation in the morning ✅ No social media until 7 PM ❌ 30 minutes of Doing Nothing Before Going To Sleep Work Sessions: 10:51 AM - 11:33 AM Organized some documents and contacted back a freelancer for a bit of accounting work. Duration: 42 minutes Focus: 3.5/5 Progress: 4/5 Deep Work Sessions: 11:47 AM - 12:44 PM I worked on a web app. I'm a bit stuck on some error messages. Duration: 57 minutes Focus: 3.5/5 Progress: 2/5 01:45 PM - 02:30 PM I'm still having some problems with these error messages. Duration: 45 minutes Focus: 3.5/5 Progress: 3/5 04:29 PM - 05:33 PM I worked on correcting error messages. Duration: 1 hour 4 minutes Focus: 3.5/5 Progress: 3/5 07:54 PM - 09:02 PM I continued the work on error messages on this app. Duration: 1 hour 8 minutes Focus: 3.75/5 Progress: 3.5/5 09:08 PM - 09:54 PM Did some work on a design. Duration: 46 minutes Focus: 3.5/5 Progress: 3.5/5 My brain is currently repairing after the damages from past traumas. I can feel it. Total Work Duration: 5 hours 22 minutes, including 4 hours 40 minutes of Deep Work Average Focus: 3.54 / 5 (objective at least 3.5 / 5) Average Progress / Session: 3.17 / 5 (objective at least 3/5)

28/07/2021 (Week 27) If I think about becoming better friends with my child-self... he would express his curiosity my child-self would show himself more he would express his needs he would be more comfortable with me he would ask for help I'll give him help I'll do the best that I can to understand him If I think about becoming better friends with my teenage-self... I would let him do things by himself he would show up he would feel more comfortable with me he would show how mean he is he would cry in my arms he would show how much he is hurt he would communicate with me I would help him As my younger selves become more comfortable with me... they are showing up more they are trusting me more I start to feel them I start to understand them I am deepening my relationship with them we are starting to heal together As I create a safe space for my child-self... he feels more secure he feels protected he feels that he can trust me he may be see this safe space as a prison I realize that this safe space is may be too much I understand that he wants more freedom I understand that this safe space is overprotective I understand that my child-self wants to get out of this safe space I understand that I'm protecting my child-self too much and that this is hurting him As I create a safe space for my teenage-self... he feels controlled he doesn't like to feel controlled he wants to go out he wants to express all his dirtiness he doesn't like me he doesn't trust me he wants to do things by himself I understand that I need to stop controlling my teenage-self I understand that my teenage-self is wise enough to do things by himself I understand that the best thing that I can do to my teenage-self is to let him be free My younger selves don't want safety. They don't like safety, they feel overprotected, they feel over-controlled, they feels like they are in prison. What they want is complete freedom.

28 July 2021 Wake Up Time: 08:33 AM (objective 6:30 AM - 7:00 AM) In Bed Time: 11:06 PM (objective 10:30 PM - 11:00 PM) ✅ Stretching after waking up ❌ Cold shower after waking up ✅ 45 minutes of meditation in the morning ❌ No social media until 7 PM ❌ 30 minutes of Doing Nothing Before Going To Sleep Work Sessions: 11:24 AM - 11:37 AM Filled my hours on Upwork, responded to a freelancer, called the Revenue Authority. Duration: 13 minutes Focus: 3.5/5 Progress: 4/5 Deep Work Sessions: 11:39 AM - 12:42 PM I did some improvements on a small web app. Duration: 1 hour 3 minutes Focus: 3.5/5 Progress: 3.5/5 01:56 PM - 03:16 PM Things are messy. My mind was quite agitated and my focus difficult. Duration: 1 hour 20 minutes Focus: 3/5 Progress: 2/5 03:29 PM - 03:42 PM I'm going to have a break because my mind is too crazy. Duration: 23 minutes Focus: 3/5 Progress: 2/5 04:44 PM - 06:04 PM I continued the work on the app. I made some good progress. Duration: 1 hour 20 minutes Focus: 3.5/5 Progress: 3.5/5 08:07 PM - 09:13 PM Updated this app again. Filled my hours on Upwork. Did a bit of accounting. Duration: 1 hour 6 minutes Focus: 3.5/5 Progress: 3.5/5 Though night, tough day. Total Work Duration: 5 hours 25 minutes, including 5 hours 12 minutes of Deep Work Average Focus: 3.33 / 5 (objective at least 3.5 / 5) Average Progress / Session: 3.08 / 5 (objective at least 3/5)

Meta Relationships I see no other way to have healthy relationships than by going meta. By going meta I mean recognizing that a relationship is an organism by itself composed of two holons and that some rules need to exists to keep the relationship alive and healthy. Here are some basic rules that I thought about: Both partners needs to be psychologically healthy. Both partners needs to be able to sustain themselves independently. Both partners needs to have compatible personality types. Both partners needs to have similar values and a few similar interests. Both partners needs massive education on relationships, sexuality, masculine/feminine dynamics. If an issue arise, being educated about relationships dynamics can solve it. Individual preferences need to be seriously taken into consideration even if it goes against typical masculine/feminine dynamics. No manipulations, no pressure, no gaslighting, no screaming at each other, no fights, no egoic debates, or similar things. If any of this happens, the relationship needs to be broken. Space for mistakes and imperfections. I thought about this multiple times, and really this is unrealistic to expect a 100% perfect relationship where both partners will be happy all the time. That's life after all. In almost all cases, a bit of drama will happen, however, this drama has to be as small as possible. If something is not working, both partners needs to be aware and flexible enough to change. When an issue arise, both partners needs to be able to communicate openly and honestly. Both partners needs to be genuinely interested in the other person and try to see things from the other person perspective as much as possible. Both partners need to accept that the other person has relationships and sexual needs, and therefore have a responsibility to fulfill these needs. It doesn't mean that someone has to be the slave of the other person's needs, it needs to be healthily balanced in a way that fulfills both individuals. Both partners needs to let go when being too much meta. This is exhausting sometimes and this is a trap that prevents to be in the flow.

27/07/2021 (Week 27) If I think about becoming better friends with my child-self... I'll let my child-self express himself my child-self would feel closer to me my child-self would feel more comfortable with me my relationship with my child-self would improve my child-self would talk to me my child-self would like me more my child-self would show more playfulness If I think about becoming better friends with my teenage-self... my teenage-self would finally feel understood my teenage-self won't be ashamed to express his emotions my teenage-self would communicate with me more I'll give my hand to my teenage-self I'll stop shaming my teenage-self I'll embrace my teenage-self As my younger selves become more comfortable with me... they trust me more they communicate with me more they express their emotions more I can help them more I'm becoming more authentic they are becoming more authentic I feel more whole I feel more integrated As I create a safe space for my child-self... my child-self feel safer my child-self feel better nurtured my child-self can express himself safely and freely I'm growing I'm deepening my relationship with my child-self my child-self is showing himself more my child-self feels trusted As I create a safe space for my teenage-self... my teenage-self feels safer my teenage-self feels that he can open up my teenage-self feel more understood my teenage-self trust me more my teenage-self feels relieved I'm deepening my relationship with my teenage-self I'm becoming stronger and more integrated