Raphael

27/08/2021 (Week 31) If I bring 5 percent more awareness to my life... my life would feel clearer my life would go smoother I'll take better decisions I'll be better at handling my stress my life would feel more blissful I'll navigate life better I am 5 percent more self-accepting... I'll be more honest with myself I'll share more my vulnerabilities I'll be more comfortable with myself I'll be more aligned with reality I'll be more relaxed I'll be comfortable with where I am If I bring 5 percent more self-responsibility to my life... my life would go my way I'll find an healthy balance between working and resting I'll create results faster I'll appreciate doing what I'm doing I'll be in the now while doing what is necessary rather than being focused on the result I'll take more responsibility for my health I would be happier If I operate 5 percent more self-assertively... I'll be more decisive I'll take more calculated decisions people would respect me more I'll assert my decisions in life I'll make things happen I'll live for myself If I live my life 5 percent more purposefully... I'll be more intrinsically motivated I know that I live for humanity I'll be happier to live life my life would feel more blissful I'll have more awareness in everything that I do because I know that everything that I do is connected to my greater purpose my life would feel valuable my life would feel more meaningful If I bring 5 percent more integrity to my life... I'll feel more at peace with myself I'll feel whole I'll feel more authentic I'll be less and less ashamed of myself people would appreciate me more I would feel better If I breathe deeply and allow myself to experience what self-esteem feels like... I feel relaxed I feel competent to cope with life's challenges I have high emotional mastery I'm letting go of the past and live more in the now I feel holistic I feel self-accepting I feel authentic I feel like a giant

27 August 2021 Wake Up Time: 09:00 AM (objective 6:30 AM - 7:00 AM) In Bed Time: 10:47 PM (objective 10:30 PM - 11:00 PM) ✅ Stretching after waking up ❌ Cold shower after waking up ✅ 30 minutes of meditation in the morning ❌ No distractions until 8 PM ✅ 1 hour 15 minutes of random journaling before going to bed Work Sessions: 11:18 AM - 12:18 PM Did some work on these templates. Duration: 1 hour Focus: 3.5/5 03:25 PM - 04:27 PM Worked on these templates, also distracted myself a bit. Duration: 1 hour 2 minutes Focus: 3.5/5 04:43 PM - 06:05 PM Worked on these templates again. Duration: 1 hour 22 minutes Focus: 3.5/5 07:09 PM - 07:47 PM Worked a bit on these templates, then did a bit of accounting. I made some good money this month. Duration: 38 minutes Focus: 3.5/5 Deep Work Sessions: 07:53 PM - 08:46 PM I went back working on my app. I corrected some bugs. I will have to do more testing on the publishing interface before the release. Duration: 53 minutes Focus: 3.5/5 Total Work Duration: 4 hours 55 minutes, including 53 minutes of Deep Work Average Focus: 3.5 / 5 (objective at least 3.5 / 5)

When it comes to happiness, I generally see two opposite ideas: Thoughts create emotions: you're not happy because you don't think positively enough. Change your thoughts and you'll be happy. Work on your shadows: you need to inspect yourself and clear your shadows, you need to release your trapped emotions. But what if someone tries to think positively to increase happiness and always gets dragged down by his/her shadows? And what if someone did a lot of shadow work, but still feel sad because he/she is used to sadness and therefore breaking out of homeostasis is difficult? Should a person force happiness to break out of sadness homeostasis or continue to do shadow work / release trapped emotions?

26/08/2021 (Week 31) If I bring 5 percent more awareness to my life... I'll be more joyful I'll make better decisions I'll approach situations in a more relaxed way I'll navigate more easily through life my life will be easier I'll feel more satisfied with my life I am 5 percent more self-accepting... I'll let myself be vulnerable I'll be more honest with myself I'll be more accepting of others I'll feel more at peace with myself I'm opening room for grow I'll be more relaxed If I bring 5 percent more self-responsibility to my life... my life would go my way I'll be more able to go through life challenges my life would change gradually I'll accept myself I won't let others drag me down I'll get more freedom If I operate 5 percent more self-assertively... people would respect me more I won't let others drag me down I'll be more decisive I'll stand up for myself more I'll be more authentic I'll assert more my purpose I'll take more actions If I live my life 5 percent more purposefully... my life would feel more spiritual my life would feel more authentic I would be more intrinsically motivated I'll have meaning in my life I'll be more in my higher I'll raise my vibration If I bring 5 percent more integrity to my life... my life would feel more authentic I would feel more at peace with myself I would be happier people would appreciate me more my life would feel more integral I would feel whole If I breathe deeply and allow myself to experience what self-esteem feels like... I'm having a relaxed belly I'm having a relaxed face I feel confident I feel myself I feel competent I feel that I have the competencies to tackle all life challenges I feel authentic I feel self-expressive I feel great

26 August 2021 Wake Up Time: 07:47 AM (objective 6:30 AM - 7:00 AM) In Bed Time: 11:19 PM (objective 10:30 PM - 11:00 PM) ✅ Stretching after waking up ❌ Cold shower after waking up ✅ 30 minutes of meditation in the morning ✅ No distractions until 8 PM ✅ 1 hour 15 minutes of random journaling before going to bed Work Sessions: No work for today Almost didn't sleep of the entire night again. Total Work Duration: 0 minutes, including 0 minutes of Deep Work Average Focus: ~ / 5 (objective at least 3.5 / 5)

@Raphael Yes, you should force it. You should force it in the sense that if you aren't happy by yourself, you have to work to get your shit together and clean yourself up. Not in the sense of forcing a smile if you feel sad. After cleaning yourself up, you'll get more and more authentic and your happiness will come naturally without forcing it. That's the paradox of forcing vs. not forcing happiness. Force it by working on yourself and cleaning yourself because otherwise, happiness will never come naturally. Don't force a smile when you are sad, allow yourself to express all the emotions. Allow yourself to be happy when you feel it, don't hide it. Eventually, you'll come to a point when you'll be happy most of the time by yourself while still feeling other emotions cause that's life after all.

25/08/2021 (Week 31) If I bring 5 percent more awareness to my life... my life will go more smoothly I'll be able to let go of bad habits I'll be able to let go of things that are dragging me down I'll have a higher ability to deal with life's situations life will go my way change will be easier I am 5 percent more self-accepting... I'll be more honest with myself I'll hide less I feel more relaxed I feel more at ease with myself I'll have more humility people would appreciate me more If I bring 5 percent more self-responsibility to my life... I'll move towards my goals faster I'll feel more confident I'll feel more aware I'll have more control over my life everything in my life will improve I can change I can change the world If I operate 5 percent more self-assertively... I'll be able to get things done better I'll be more decisive people would respect me more I'll create more results my life would go my way I'll feel great If I live my life 5 percent more purposefully... I'll feel inspired my life would feel deeper I'll feel more satisfied I'll feel happier I would be more intrinsically motivated I'll be more in motion If I bring 5 percent more integrity to my life... I'll feel more holistic people would respect me more I'll heal myself my life would feel easier I'll feel blissful I'll be happier and experience more joy If I breathe deeply and allow myself to experience what self-esteem feels like... I feel relaxed I feel confident I feel responsible I feel assertive I feel decisive I feel competent in dealing with life I feel blissful I feel authentic I feel self-expressive I feel like a giant

25 August 2021 Wake Up Time: 08:09 AM (objective 6:30 AM - 7:00 AM) In Bed Time: 11:30 PM (objective 10:30 PM - 11:00 PM) ✅ Stretching after waking up ❌ Cold shower after waking up ✅ 30 minutes of meditation in the morning ✅ No distractions until 8 PM ❌ 1 hour 15 minutes of random journaling before going to bed Work Sessions: 11:08 AM - 12:42 PM I worked on these templates. Duration: 1 hour 34 minutes Focus: 3.5/5 01:55 PM - 02:48 PM Started to work back on these templates, but got interrupted by a client who needed an immediate service so I did that instead. The site foreman outside was full of rage, I heard him insulting his workers with an insane amount of hate. Duration: 53 minutes Focus: 3.5/5 04:26 PM - 08:05 PM I continued the work on the templates. Duration: 1 hour 39 minutes Focus: 3.5/5 07:13 PM - 09:13 PM I continued the work on the templates. Duration: 2 hours Focus: 3.5/5 Total Work Duration: 6 hours 6 minutes, including 0 minutes of Deep Work Average Focus: 3.5 / 5 (objective at least 3.5 / 5)

24/08/2021 (Week 31) If I bring 5 percent more awareness to my life... I'll be more sensitive to my environment I'll be more sensitive to the food that I eat I'll understand what I want out of this life I'll keep my life as simple as possible I'll take more decisions from my higher-self my life would feel clearer I am 5 percent more self-accepting... I'll be more able to let go of shame I'll open more about myself I'll share more my insecurities I'll be more honest with myself I'm doing the first thing to allow progress in my life I'll recognize my weaknesses I'll accept to be vulnerable I'll show more my vulnerabilities If I bring 5 percent more self-responsibility to my life... I'll be more able to create results my life will go my way my environment will resonate with me more I'll use my powers to their fullest I'll change gradually I'll get out more of my comfort zone my relationship would improve my dating life would improve If I operate 5 percent more self-assertively... people would respect me more I would be more decisive change will be easier I'll have more power in my life I'll do what I want to do I won't let people walk over me If I live my life 5 percent more purposefully... I will be more intrinsically motivated I feel more motivated I know that I'm living for something greater than myself I know that I'm living for humanity I feel more genuine I feel more powerful I feel that I am a catalyst for human development my personal development is going faster If I bring 5 percent more integrity to my life... I feel more at peace with myself I feel more authentic I'm healing myself I'm becoming whole my life is becoming easier people respects me more people appreciates me more If I breathe deeply and allow myself to experience what self-esteem feels like... I feel authentic I feel relaxed I feel at peace with myself I feel integrated within myself I feel that my subconscious is aligned with my conscious self I feel powerful I feel like a giant I feel that I'm living life to the fullest

24 August 2021 Wake Up Time: 09:20 AM (objective 6:30 AM - 7:00 AM) In Bed Time: 12:05 AM (objective 10:30 PM - 11:00 PM) ✅ Stretching after waking up ❌ Cold shower after waking up ✅ 30 minutes of meditation in the morning ❌ No distractions until 8 PM ✅ 1 hour 15 minutes of random journaling before going to bed Work Sessions: 11:49 AM - 12:43 PM Took some time to communicate with a coworker. Duration: 54 minutes Focus: 3/5 02:23 PM - 04:15 PM I continued working on these templates. Duration: 1 hour 52 minutes Focus: 3.5/5 04:57 PM - 05:54 PM I continued working on these templates. Duration: 57 minutes Focus: 3.5/5 07:22 PM - 08:25 PM I continued working on these templates. Duration: 1 hour 3 minutes Focus: 3.5/5 Almost didn't sleep of the entire night. It messed up my day. Total Work Duration: 4 hours 46 minutes, including 0 minutes of Deep Work Average Focus: 3.37 / 5 (objective at least 3.5 / 5)

This lack nuances. These points are all valid from a perspective, but they are limitations to all of them.

23/08/2021 (Week 31) If I bring 5 percent more awareness to my life... I'll be more aware of my thoughts pattern I'll be more aware of my body I'll be more aware of the consciousness of people around me my life will feel clearer I'll do what needs to be done I'll make better decisions I am 5 percent more self-accepting... I'll let go of the past I'll forgive people who hurt me I'll feel more in peace with myself I'll be more connected to reality I'll recognize my flaws I'll be more honest with myself If I bring 5 percent more self-responsibility to my life... I'll be able to achieve what I want to achieve life will go my way my life will transform I'll change my environment I'll change the people that I spend time with in IRL and on the internet I'll have more control on my life If I operate 5 percent more self-assertively... I'll be more decisive I'll have better boundaries with people I'll more easily generate results I'll speak with a clearer voice I'll take more actions I'll start to change If I live my life 5 percent more purposefully... I know that I'm living for a cause that is greater than myself I know that I'm always living for the greater whole, for humanity I know that I want to change the world I will have a constant intrinsic motivation I'll do the best at every moment I'll feel it at every moment deep in my bones If I bring 5 percent more integrity to my life... I would trust myself more people would trust me more I'll feel more whole I feel like I won't be fighting with myself all the time my life would feel more authentic my life will be more powerful If I breathe deeply and allow myself to experience what self-esteem feels like... I feel relaxed I feel confident I feel good I feel competent in my ability to deal with life I feel competent in my ability to change I feel competent in my ability to help the world I feel highly responsible I feel joyful I feel focused I feel like a giant

23 August 2021 Wake Up Time: 07:23 AM (objective 6:30 AM - 7:00 AM) In Bed Time: 11:05 PM (objective 10:30 PM - 11:00 PM) ✅ Stretching after waking up ❌ Cold shower after waking up ✅ 30 minutes of meditation in the morning ✅ No distractions until 8 PM ✅ 1 hour 15 minutes of random journaling before going to bed Work Sessions: 09:25 AM - 10:30 AM I went back working on templates for this client. Duration: 1 hour 2 minutes Focus: 3.5/5 10:49 AM - 12:29 PM I continued the work on these templates. I got interrupted by a lot of noises outside and some traumas in myself. Duration: 1 hour 40 minutes Focus: 3.5/5 01:36 PM - 02:36 PM I continued the work on these templates. Duration: 1 hour Focus: 3.5/5 04:19 PM - 05:47 PM I continued working on these templates. Duration: 1 hour 38 minutes Focus: 3.75/5 06:57 PM - 07:37 PM I continued working on these templates. Duration: 40 minutes Focus: 3.75/5 Total Work Duration: 6 hours 0 minutes, including 6 hours 0 minutes of Deep Work Average Focus: 3.6 / 5 (objective at least 3.5 / 5)

How can there be no objective truth is this is true that there is no objective truth?

I feel like I'm levelling up, my consciousness is raising, I'm getting more into Yellow. I'm done with the pressure of being politically correct. I want to be systematically correct, I want to be integrally correct. I want to do things for the larger whole, things that benefits the larger ecosystem even if they are detrimental to some individuals or to me.

22/08/2021 (Week 30) If any of what I wrote this week is true, it might be helpful if I... let go of the negative influence of my mother let go of the negative influence of my father embrace the strength, perseverance, and determination of my dad embrace the kindness, support, and compassion of my mom find my own place allow myself to use my mind to its fullest take full responsibility for my life without being neurotic about it live by myself

Weekly Statistics (16 August 2021 - 22 August 2021) Total Working Time 27 hours 12 minutes Average Focus 3.5 / 5

22 August 2021 Wake Up Time: 08:43 AM (objective 6:30 AM - 7:00 AM) In Bed Time: 10:36 PM (objective 10:30 PM - 11:00 PM) ✅ Stretching after waking up ❌ Cold shower after waking up ❌ Breathwork ~ No distractions until 8 PM (Doesn't apply on Sunday) ✅ 1 hour 15 minutes of random journaling before going to bed Work Sessions: No work for today Very bad night of sleep. Total Work Duration: 0 minutes, including 0 minutes of Deep Work Average Focus: ~ / 5 (objective at least 3.5 / 5)

https://www.lesswrong.com/

21/08/2021 (Week 30) If any of what I wrote this week is true, it might be helpful if I... take responsibility for my life without being neurotic about it enjoy the beauty of life let go of my fear of survival let myself being authentic find my own place to live using my brain effectively have a proactive positive attitude towards life change my behaviors for the better

21 August 2021 Wake Up Time: 07:02 AM (objective 6:30 AM - 7:00 AM) In Bed Time: 11:02 PM (objective 10:30 PM - 11:00 PM) ✅ Stretching after waking up ✅ Cold shower after waking up ✅ 30 minutes of meditation in the morning ✅ No distractions until 8 PM ✅ 1 hour 15 minutes of random journaling before going to bed Deep Work Sessions: 09:35 AM - 10:34 AM I feel really tired, sleep was difficult again. Also, there were a lot of annoying noises around me. Duration: 59 minutes Focus: 3.5/5 11:25 AM - 12:36 PM I'm currently dealing with a strange bug. Duration: 1 hour 11 minutes Focus: 3.5/5 01:35 PM - 02:41 PM I continued trying to fix this bug. Duration: 1 hour 6 minutes Focus: 3.5/5 04:14 PM - 07:58 PM Fixed the bug. Continued the work on data storage throughout the app. Duration: 1 hour 44 minutes Focus: 3.5/5 06:55 PM - 08:05 PM I'm almost done with the data handling. I still have some corrections to do on the publisher interface. Duration: 1 hour 10 minutes Focus: 3.5/5 Total Work Duration: 6 hours 10 minutes, including 6 hours 10 minutes of Deep Work Average Focus: 3.5 / 5 (objective at least 3.5 / 5)

20/08/2021 (Week 30) At the thought of being free of Mother, psychologically... I feel responsible I feel like a man I feel independent I feel free I feel more like myself I feel more authentic At the thought of being free of Father, psychologically... I feel more proactive I feel more positive I feel more authentic I feel happier I feel more confident I feel that I have more self-esteem At the thought of belonging fully to myself... I feel more authentic I feel more joyful I understand that I need to do what serves me I can operate to my fullest I know that I have the power to change I know that I all have the qualities to succeed If my life really does belong to me... then I can make independent decisions then I have the power to do whatever I want to do then I can change then I can be happy then I can be social then I can find a girlfriend then I'm in control of my life then I am responsible of my life If I really am capable of independent survival... I can let go of my fear of survival I can quit my parent's house I can be more proactive in life I can enjoy life more I can be fulfilled in life I can live

20 August 2021 Wake Up Time: 07:36 AM (objective 6:30 AM - 7:00 AM) In Bed Time: 11:00 PM (objective 10:30 PM - 11:00 PM) ✅ Stretching after waking up ✅ Cold shower after waking up ✅ 30 minutes of meditation in the morning ✅ No distractions until 8 PM ✅ 1 hour 15 minutes of random journaling before going to bed Work Sessions: 07:13 PM - 08:00 PM I did a bit of work on these templates for my client. Duration: 47 minutes Focus: 3.5/5 Deep Work Sessions: 09:49 AM - 10:44 AM I'm not sure what I did wrong, but it fucked up many things. Duration: 55 minutes Focus: 3.5/5 11:16 PM - 12:54 PM I did some tweaks on the interface and created a service to handle data between components and saving in localstorage. Duration: 1 hour 38 minutes Focus: 3.5/5 01:55 PM - 02:45 PM I continued the work on data handling. This is working well so far. I was thinking about many unrelated things at the same time. Duration: 50 minutes Focus: 3.5/5 04:32 PM - 06:07 PM I'm currently struggling with an issue. Looks like to be about an inappropriate link between the view and the controller. Duration: 1 hour 35 minutes Focus: 3.5/5 Total Work Duration: 5 hours 45 minutes, including 4 hours 58 minutes of Deep Work Average Focus: 3.5 / 5 (objective at least 3.5 / 5)

Overblown I'm overloading myself with too many things, I'm completely overblown. I want to think and write about many things but this is too much for me, I also need empty time to clear my mind. Things to do outside of my main work: Coaching: Write my vision Trauma work and journaling about traumas Writing some posts in this journal I'm going to prioritize my vision writing, then move to other stuff. I will write a few posts in this journal. These posts are: About Raising Human Development Breaking Boundaries Between Self, Others, Political Parties, People, Government, Race, Genders, and Everything Else in the Universe Racism in the US The Structure Behind Ideological Debates (Refined Version) Emotions = Logic I need to organize some time to journal about my traumas in this journal: And finally, I'm going to let go of this journal. I had a lot of thoughts and interesting things to write, but this is too much, I don't have enough time so I'm letting that go: I want to think less and do fewer things, but put more intensity into what I'm doing.