Raphael

@Michael569 I think I can keep the oats but maybe not in a too big quantity. Eliminating other things almost completely fixed my issue. I added an egg in the morning to get the nutrients that I lost by cutting High-FODMAP foods.

31 August 2021 Wake Up Time: 07:15 AM (objective 6:30 AM - 7:00 AM) In Bed Time: 11:30 PM (objective 10:30 PM - 11:00 PM) ✅ Stretching after waking up ✅ Cold shower after waking up ✅ 30 minutes of meditation in the morning ✅ No distractions until 8 PM ✅ 1 hour 15 minutes of random journaling before going to bed Work Sessions: 09:48 AM - 10:20 AM I filled some documents for the revenue authority. Duration: 32 minutes Focus: 3.5/5 Deep Work Sessions: 10:35 AM - 12:42 AM The code to send emails is working properly. I will integrate it soon to the API. I also did a lot of email testing with different clients during this session. Duration: 2 hour 7 minutes Focus: 3.5/5 01:38 PM - 02:49 PM I integrated the code to send emails to the API. I noticed a mistake in it and also noticed a bug on the account confirmation page. There's still a lot of noises outside because of the constructions. Duration: 1 hour 11 minutes Focus: 3.5/5 04:27 PM - 05:51 PM I continued the good progress on the emails. Duration: 1 hour 24 minutes Focus: 3.5/5 07:26 PM - 08:18 PM I completed the password forgotten email and started the goodbye email. Duration: 52 minutes Focus: 3.5/5 Total Work Duration: 6 hours 6 minutes, including 5 hours 35 minutes of Deep Work Average Focus: 3.5 / 5 (objective at least 3.5 / 5)

30 August 2021 Wake Up Time: 08:35 AM (objective 6:30 AM - 7:00 AM) In Bed Time: 11:15 PM (objective 10:30 PM - 11:00 PM) ✅ Stretching after waking up ❌ Cold shower after waking up ✅ 30 minutes of meditation in the morning ❌ No distractions until 8 PM ✅ 1 hour 15 minutes of random journaling before going to bed Work Sessions: 10:29 AM - 12:50 AM Did some work on templates, contacted someone, and find out that there is still a bug with email templates. Duration: 2 hours 21 minutes Focus: 3/5 Deep Work Sessions: 01:57 PM - 02:43 PM Did some progress on this email template. I still have to create images for social networks. Duration: 46 minutes Focus: 3.5/5 04:17 PM - 06:30 PM I worked on the welcome email template and also on the API structure to send emails. I distracted myself at some moments. Duration: 2 hours 13 minutes Focus: 3/5 07:33 PM - 08:21 PM I did some progress on constructing the email from the backend. Duration: 48 minutes Focus: 3.5/5 Total Work Duration: 6 hours 8 minutes, including 3 hours 47 minutes of Deep Work Average Focus: 3.25 / 5 (objective at least 3.5 / 5)

@Michael569 Do you have ideas of large breakfasts on a Low-FODMAP diet? I recently realized that my gut is quite sensitive so I cut peanuts and cashew nuts in the morning and also cut grains like lentils, chickpeas, and peas during the day.

I wrongly titled this journal. This journal is going to be about a lot of things: healing traumas, exploring my shadows, removing limiting beliefs, turning limiting beliefs into opportunities, changing thought patterns, forgiving, changing behaviors, deconstructing myself, and improving myself.

Shame + Hypersensitivity I'm noticing some shame in me. Shame because when I look back at my life it wasn't that bad most of the time. Sure, I experienced pain and suffering to various degrees but compared to what some people experienced, most of them feel insignificant. Sometimes I read horror stories on this forum of people who have been hardly psychologically and physically abused in their life. I did experience abuses in my life but never to that degree, at worst it was moderate with very few intense traumas. So... if I never experienced such horrible conditions and I'm suffering, then how much do people with severe life traumas suffer? I can imagine how hard it can be, but my imagination will always be incomplete and never match the reality of someone who experienced severe traumas. I also have a hypersensitivity to life, which means that I experience things very strongly. I experience people's emotions strongly so that might contribute to amplifying the traumas. I'm very sensitive to noises, I have been able to hear people voice's coming out of phones in the past. This hypersensitivity can be overwhelming, but I'm handling it better than before. If I master it, I can get to a point of perceiving an incredible amount of nuances and mastering them to sort out the toughest life challenges without me being too much emotionally affected.

Shame + Hypersensitivity I'm noticing some shame in me. Shame because when I look back at my life it wasn't that bad most of the time. Sure, I experienced pain and suffering to various degrees but compared to what some people experienced, most of them feel insignificant. Sometimes I read horror stories on this forum of people who have been hardly psychologically and physically abused in their life. I did experience abuses in my life but never to that degree, at worst it was moderate with very few intense traumas. So... if I never experienced such horrible conditions and I'm suffering, then how much do people with severe life traumas suffer? I can imagine how hard it can be, but my imagination will always be incomplete and never match the reality of someone who experienced severe traumas. I also have a hypersensitivity to life, which means that I experience things very strongly. I experience people's emotions strongly so that might contribute to amplifying the traumas. I'm very sensitive to noises, I have been able to hear people voice's coming out of phones in the past. This hypersensitivity can be overwhelming, but I'm handling it better than before. If I master it, I can get to a point of perceiving an incredible amount of nuances and mastering them to sort out the toughest life challenges without me being too much emotionally affected.

? Program completed.

Nathaniel Branden, The Sixth Pillars of Self-Esteem I recently finished reading The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem for the second time. The first time that I read it (~2 years ago), I was too emotionally unstable to do anything with the knowledge and do the exercises properly. However, I grew a lot since then and I now feel mature enough to use the material properly. About My Self-Esteem Issues While growing up as a kid, then as a teenager, and now as a young adult, I suffered pretty huge self-esteem issues that impacted the quality of my life. Some of these issues included: A lot of depression Extreme shyness Inability to make friends / make social connections Discomfort with girls Neglecting my body. I wasn't doing any sport and was very skinny, some people even asked me if I was anorexic Laziness Fewer good results than I was capable of in school (I was a little better than average and sometimes even good, but it was still way below what I was capable of) Very low results in freelancing because I was afraid of charging clients I solved some of these issues in the past, but some of them are still here. I'm still quite shy, still uncomfortable with women, still experience a little of depression from time to time. However, I now look good, I go to the gym regularly, I'm more hardworking, and recently started to have much better results in freelancing. Why Self-Esteem Healthy self-esteem is the foundation for proper functioning in life. So If can raise my self-esteem, I can improve everything: Relationships Communication Health Work ethic Business results Awareness Happiness And much more. Why Will I Do At the end of The Sixth Pillars of Self-Esteem, there is a program to progressively raise self-esteem. It is a 31 week program, I will do it at least one time, but if I see the necessity to do it more than once, I will do it. If taking other actions are necessary, I will take them. What Inspired Me I got inspired by a user on this forum who did the same thing two years ago:

29/08/2021 (Week 31) If any of what I wrote this week is true, it might be helpful if I... live my life in a holistic way accept me no matter what bring intense awareness to critical situations and to my choices in life take responsibility assert my personality in life stay aware that I live for something greater than me let my self-esteem rise and shine let myself be the best that I can be in any situation

Weekly Statistics (23 August 2021 - 29 August 2021) Total Working Time 29 hours 0 minutes Average Focus 3.49 / 5

29 August 2021 Wake Up Time: 07:27 AM (objective 6:30 AM - 7:00 AM) In Bed Time: 12:12 AM (objective 10:30 PM - 11:00 PM) ✅ Stretching after waking up ✅ Cold shower after waking up ✅ Breathwork ~ No distractions until 8 PM (Doesn't apply on Sunday) ❌ 1 hour 15 minutes of random journaling before going to bed Work Sessions: No work for today Total Work Duration: 0 minutes, including 0 minutes of Deep Work Average Focus: ~ / 5 (objective at least 3.5 / 5)

Lol.

28/08/2021 (Week 31) If any of what I wrote this week is true, it might be helpful if I... am radically honest with me even if it hurt bring intense awareness to situations that need it take responsibility for my life so that it goes my way accept the call of self-esteem and accept living a high self-esteem life stay aware that no matter what I do I work for something greater than me, I work for humanity and for raising human development assert my personality and objectives in life stay aligned with my true self live my life to the fullest

Somewhere in Africa.

28 August 2021 Wake Up Time: 07:23 AM (objective 6:30 AM - 7:00 AM) In Bed Time: 11:02 PM (objective 10:30 PM - 11:00 PM) ✅ Stretching after waking up ❌ Cold shower after waking up ✅ 30 minutes of meditation in the morning ✅ No distractions until 8 PM ✅ 1 hour 15 minutes of random journaling before going to bed Work Sessions: 09:35 AM - 10:36 AM I created a few pull requests and merged it, updated the development API on the server, fixed an issue with GitHub and tried to build the app but it failed. Duration: 1 hour 1 minute Focus: 3.5/5 10:53 AM - 12:07 PM Did some corrections on the app. Took care of some configurations and put it online on the development URL. I realized that there's still a crucial bug on the publisher interface that need to be fixed. Duration: 1 hour 14 minutes Focus: 3.5/5 12:16 PM - 12:45 PM Just did a few researches and thought about the mail designs for the app. Duration: 29 minutes Focus: 3.5/5 Deep Work Sessions: 01:51 PM - 02:51 PM I worked on an email design. Duration: 1 hour Focus: 3.5/5 04:29 PM - 06:05 PM Designing email templates are a headache. Duration: 1 hour 34 minutes Focus: 3.5/5 06:53 PM - 07:27 PM I continued the work on email templates. Duration: 1 hour 34 minutes Focus: 3.5/5 08:32 PM - 08:53 PM I think I'm done with the email design. I'll continue to work on email sending next week or maybe a bit tomorrow. Duration: 21 minutes Focus: 3.5/5 Total Work Duration: 7 hours 13 minutes, including 4 hours 29 minutes of Deep Work Average Focus: 3.5 / 5 (objective at least 3.5 / 5)

27/08/2021 (Week 31) If I bring 5 percent more awareness to my life... my life would feel clearer my life would go smoother I'll take better decisions I'll be better at handling my stress my life would feel more blissful I'll navigate life better I am 5 percent more self-accepting... I'll be more honest with myself I'll share more my vulnerabilities I'll be more comfortable with myself I'll be more aligned with reality I'll be more relaxed I'll be comfortable with where I am If I bring 5 percent more self-responsibility to my life... my life would go my way I'll find an healthy balance between working and resting I'll create results faster I'll appreciate doing what I'm doing I'll be in the now while doing what is necessary rather than being focused on the result I'll take more responsibility for my health I would be happier If I operate 5 percent more self-assertively... I'll be more decisive I'll take more calculated decisions people would respect me more I'll assert my decisions in life I'll make things happen I'll live for myself If I live my life 5 percent more purposefully... I'll be more intrinsically motivated I know that I live for humanity I'll be happier to live life my life would feel more blissful I'll have more awareness in everything that I do because I know that everything that I do is connected to my greater purpose my life would feel valuable my life would feel more meaningful If I bring 5 percent more integrity to my life... I'll feel more at peace with myself I'll feel whole I'll feel more authentic I'll be less and less ashamed of myself people would appreciate me more I would feel better If I breathe deeply and allow myself to experience what self-esteem feels like... I feel relaxed I feel competent to cope with life's challenges I have high emotional mastery I'm letting go of the past and live more in the now I feel holistic I feel self-accepting I feel authentic I feel like a giant

27 August 2021 Wake Up Time: 09:00 AM (objective 6:30 AM - 7:00 AM) In Bed Time: 10:47 PM (objective 10:30 PM - 11:00 PM) ✅ Stretching after waking up ❌ Cold shower after waking up ✅ 30 minutes of meditation in the morning ❌ No distractions until 8 PM ✅ 1 hour 15 minutes of random journaling before going to bed Work Sessions: 11:18 AM - 12:18 PM Did some work on these templates. Duration: 1 hour Focus: 3.5/5 03:25 PM - 04:27 PM Worked on these templates, also distracted myself a bit. Duration: 1 hour 2 minutes Focus: 3.5/5 04:43 PM - 06:05 PM Worked on these templates again. Duration: 1 hour 22 minutes Focus: 3.5/5 07:09 PM - 07:47 PM Worked a bit on these templates, then did a bit of accounting. I made some good money this month. Duration: 38 minutes Focus: 3.5/5 Deep Work Sessions: 07:53 PM - 08:46 PM I went back working on my app. I corrected some bugs. I will have to do more testing on the publishing interface before the release. Duration: 53 minutes Focus: 3.5/5 Total Work Duration: 4 hours 55 minutes, including 53 minutes of Deep Work Average Focus: 3.5 / 5 (objective at least 3.5 / 5)

When it comes to happiness, I generally see two opposite ideas: Thoughts create emotions: you're not happy because you don't think positively enough. Change your thoughts and you'll be happy. Work on your shadows: you need to inspect yourself and clear your shadows, you need to release your trapped emotions. But what if someone tries to think positively to increase happiness and always gets dragged down by his/her shadows? And what if someone did a lot of shadow work, but still feel sad because he/she is used to sadness and therefore breaking out of homeostasis is difficult? Should a person force happiness to break out of sadness homeostasis or continue to do shadow work / release trapped emotions?

26/08/2021 (Week 31) If I bring 5 percent more awareness to my life... I'll be more joyful I'll make better decisions I'll approach situations in a more relaxed way I'll navigate more easily through life my life will be easier I'll feel more satisfied with my life I am 5 percent more self-accepting... I'll let myself be vulnerable I'll be more honest with myself I'll be more accepting of others I'll feel more at peace with myself I'm opening room for grow I'll be more relaxed If I bring 5 percent more self-responsibility to my life... my life would go my way I'll be more able to go through life challenges my life would change gradually I'll accept myself I won't let others drag me down I'll get more freedom If I operate 5 percent more self-assertively... people would respect me more I won't let others drag me down I'll be more decisive I'll stand up for myself more I'll be more authentic I'll assert more my purpose I'll take more actions If I live my life 5 percent more purposefully... my life would feel more spiritual my life would feel more authentic I would be more intrinsically motivated I'll have meaning in my life I'll be more in my higher I'll raise my vibration If I bring 5 percent more integrity to my life... my life would feel more authentic I would feel more at peace with myself I would be happier people would appreciate me more my life would feel more integral I would feel whole If I breathe deeply and allow myself to experience what self-esteem feels like... I'm having a relaxed belly I'm having a relaxed face I feel confident I feel myself I feel competent I feel that I have the competencies to tackle all life challenges I feel authentic I feel self-expressive I feel great

26 August 2021 Wake Up Time: 07:47 AM (objective 6:30 AM - 7:00 AM) In Bed Time: 11:19 PM (objective 10:30 PM - 11:00 PM) ✅ Stretching after waking up ❌ Cold shower after waking up ✅ 30 minutes of meditation in the morning ✅ No distractions until 8 PM ✅ 1 hour 15 minutes of random journaling before going to bed Work Sessions: No work for today Almost didn't sleep of the entire night again. Total Work Duration: 0 minutes, including 0 minutes of Deep Work Average Focus: ~ / 5 (objective at least 3.5 / 5)

@Raphael Yes, you should force it. You should force it in the sense that if you aren't happy by yourself, you have to work to get your shit together and clean yourself up. Not in the sense of forcing a smile if you feel sad. After cleaning yourself up, you'll get more and more authentic and your happiness will come naturally without forcing it. That's the paradox of forcing vs. not forcing happiness. Force it by working on yourself and cleaning yourself because otherwise, happiness will never come naturally. Don't force a smile when you are sad, allow yourself to express all the emotions. Allow yourself to be happy when you feel it, don't hide it. Eventually, you'll come to a point when you'll be happy most of the time by yourself while still feeling other emotions cause that's life after all.

25/08/2021 (Week 31) If I bring 5 percent more awareness to my life... my life will go more smoothly I'll be able to let go of bad habits I'll be able to let go of things that are dragging me down I'll have a higher ability to deal with life's situations life will go my way change will be easier I am 5 percent more self-accepting... I'll be more honest with myself I'll hide less I feel more relaxed I feel more at ease with myself I'll have more humility people would appreciate me more If I bring 5 percent more self-responsibility to my life... I'll move towards my goals faster I'll feel more confident I'll feel more aware I'll have more control over my life everything in my life will improve I can change I can change the world If I operate 5 percent more self-assertively... I'll be able to get things done better I'll be more decisive people would respect me more I'll create more results my life would go my way I'll feel great If I live my life 5 percent more purposefully... I'll feel inspired my life would feel deeper I'll feel more satisfied I'll feel happier I would be more intrinsically motivated I'll be more in motion If I bring 5 percent more integrity to my life... I'll feel more holistic people would respect me more I'll heal myself my life would feel easier I'll feel blissful I'll be happier and experience more joy If I breathe deeply and allow myself to experience what self-esteem feels like... I feel relaxed I feel confident I feel responsible I feel assertive I feel decisive I feel competent in dealing with life I feel blissful I feel authentic I feel self-expressive I feel like a giant

25 August 2021 Wake Up Time: 08:09 AM (objective 6:30 AM - 7:00 AM) In Bed Time: 11:30 PM (objective 10:30 PM - 11:00 PM) ✅ Stretching after waking up ❌ Cold shower after waking up ✅ 30 minutes of meditation in the morning ✅ No distractions until 8 PM ❌ 1 hour 15 minutes of random journaling before going to bed Work Sessions: 11:08 AM - 12:42 PM I worked on these templates. Duration: 1 hour 34 minutes Focus: 3.5/5 01:55 PM - 02:48 PM Started to work back on these templates, but got interrupted by a client who needed an immediate service so I did that instead. The site foreman outside was full of rage, I heard him insulting his workers with an insane amount of hate. Duration: 53 minutes Focus: 3.5/5 04:26 PM - 08:05 PM I continued the work on the templates. Duration: 1 hour 39 minutes Focus: 3.5/5 07:13 PM - 09:13 PM I continued the work on the templates. Duration: 2 hours Focus: 3.5/5 Total Work Duration: 6 hours 6 minutes, including 0 minutes of Deep Work Average Focus: 3.5 / 5 (objective at least 3.5 / 5)

24/08/2021 (Week 31) If I bring 5 percent more awareness to my life... I'll be more sensitive to my environment I'll be more sensitive to the food that I eat I'll understand what I want out of this life I'll keep my life as simple as possible I'll take more decisions from my higher-self my life would feel clearer I am 5 percent more self-accepting... I'll be more able to let go of shame I'll open more about myself I'll share more my insecurities I'll be more honest with myself I'm doing the first thing to allow progress in my life I'll recognize my weaknesses I'll accept to be vulnerable I'll show more my vulnerabilities If I bring 5 percent more self-responsibility to my life... I'll be more able to create results my life will go my way my environment will resonate with me more I'll use my powers to their fullest I'll change gradually I'll get out more of my comfort zone my relationship would improve my dating life would improve If I operate 5 percent more self-assertively... people would respect me more I would be more decisive change will be easier I'll have more power in my life I'll do what I want to do I won't let people walk over me If I live my life 5 percent more purposefully... I will be more intrinsically motivated I feel more motivated I know that I'm living for something greater than myself I know that I'm living for humanity I feel more genuine I feel more powerful I feel that I am a catalyst for human development my personal development is going faster If I bring 5 percent more integrity to my life... I feel more at peace with myself I feel more authentic I'm healing myself I'm becoming whole my life is becoming easier people respects me more people appreciates me more If I breathe deeply and allow myself to experience what self-esteem feels like... I feel authentic I feel relaxed I feel at peace with myself I feel integrated within myself I feel that my subconscious is aligned with my conscious self I feel powerful I feel like a giant I feel that I'm living life to the fullest