Raphael

Sure, we don't have to find everyone attractive, but if someone gets to the point of disliking/hating someone only on the basis of physical appearance that says a lot about this person's maturity.

Conflicted About My Sexuality There's something really weird with my sexuality. The thing is that I know what women wants, I think that I have the appropriate knowledge and maturity, and I know that I only need to push through my comfort zone a bit to start experimenting, but something is holding me back. I feel a lot of inner conflicts within me and I'm not sure how to sort that out. My conscious self isn't aligned with my subconscious self. This is weird, there's like beliefs, shame, past experiences, family conditioning, cultural conditioning, expectations on me, expectations on women, who am I supposed to be as a man. There's a lot of things mixed together, it's like a bowl of spaghetti so mixed up that it's difficult to extract one single spaghetti. This is making me feel psychologically stuck regarding dating and sexuality. There's also something related to my dad. I feel some shame for having the dad that I have. If I get a girlfriend, I wouldn't know how to explain to her who my dad is and I wouldn't know how to talk about it with my dad. I never had any real conversation with my dad in my entire life. He was like afraid to talk to me and my sister directly, he would use my mom as a way to talk to us, he would ask her to ask us some things rather than talking directly to us. Most of the time when he would talk to me he would say things like: "Do this.", "Do that.", "Open the door.", "Close the door.", "You're dumb.", "You're lazy.", "You're weak.", "You're skinny.", "You are not learning anything. When are you going to learn?", etc. I never talked about relationships nor sex with him. I feel like the way that he dealt with people in his life and dealt with women in his life created a subconscious conditioning in me that "relationships are bad, sex is bad, sex is not normal, intimacy is bad, women are bad, men are bad, I am bad, you are bad, everyone is bad, the entire world is bad". This is really weird. How can I talk to this man? I don't know and I don't want to talk to him, but I always feel that he is holding me back. I feel like I cannot do anything nor succeed in life with him in my mind.

Minimum Standards for the Dating Subforum What should be the minimum standards for the dating subforum? People are there to grow so this is normal to see them throwing emotions such as anger, frustration, neediness, pain, sadness, etc. But what should be the minimum acceptable? It's not possible to cut all drama because otherwise, people cannot express themselves, but it's also not possible to have too much freedom to the point that this place isn't a sane place. Where should be the balance? I currently have in mind only two things: No pure stereotyping like "meeeeeh all men are assholes" or "meeeeeh all women are sluts". I think that everyone should be above that. Any threads like this should be closed immediately. And especially for guys: not seeing women only as things to fuck and not seeing sex as a competition. I personally have a sister and it would disgust me if a guy ever tries to have a relationship with her only for sex without trying to know her. The minimum is to have the awareness to explain issues without pure stereotyping of one gender. This only thing could make this place a sane place for self-grow. That's all. P-S: Also, I'm no writing that to put myself on a pedestal. I also have my issues, in fact, I created a thread one day where I complained a bit.

@soos_mite_ah @Barbara @Emir @Jacob Morres Thanks y'all!

I going to try to only track my daily habits to see how it goes. I will do it for two weeks, then decide if I'll keep this journal or no.

Leo Gura, How To Get Shit Done - The Inner Game Of Being A Results-Maker, Jul 12, 2015 This journal is going to be my productivity journal where I will report everything related to deep work & organization in my life. As building discipline and becoming productive and highly focused is a difficult skill to develop I'm probably going to be journaling for two years in order to successfully build and integrate productivity habits. What Is Work? I qualify work as any task that requires a physical or mental concentration effort greater than mundane tasks. There are different types of work with different intensities: low, medium, or high. Low-intensity work requires small efforts that can be done by most people. High-intensity work pushes someone's physical or cognitive capabilities to their limit, creates new value, improves skills, and is hard to replicate. My Work And Their Intensities Here are the different types of work that I do and their intensities. Everything that's above low can have subsets and include low and medium work intensities. Meditation: High Weight Lifting: Medium/High Wordpress development: Low/Medium Programming: High Reading: Low/Medium My Current Working State I'm really messy, but it could be worse I have difficulties to concentrate and often get caught up in thoughts when I'm working so it makes me stop in between I procrastinate a lot I'm very lazy I have a high amount of random thoughts every day that causes me to be very distracted I have irregular waking up and sleep hours which causes me to be druggy in the morning and demotivate me to work Realistically I only work a few hours per day (1 - 4 hours) because of the above issues My Planned Organization Wake up between 5:30 AM and 6:00 AM Do positive affirmations Go to the gym between 6:30 AM and 7:00 AM on Monday, Wednesday, Friday and Sunday. I will maybe change my organization and workouts in the future in order to exercise only three times per week Deep work five days per week on Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, Friday, and Saturday for at least 6 hours per day for a total of at least 30 hours/week Read every day except on Sunday for 30 minutes to 1 hour Do positive affirmations Go to sleep between 9:00 PM and 9:30 PM The rest of the time will be dedicated to basic necessities, relaxation, and introspection Note: As I'm a freelancer clients come to me randomly and it sometimes breaks my organization. I will do everything to respect this agenda as much as possible, but I know that inevitably I will have to be flexible at some moments to answer some clients' needs. My Objectives Deep work for at least 30 hours/week Build discipline Build concentration Learn how to rapidly create flow states Clear my mind by concentrating on my work Create a powerful organization system Correctly integrate stage blue and orange healthy values (organization, discipline, hard work, productivity, and concentration) Become a result-maker What I Will Share/Report Here Time of waking up and going to bed every day Total working hours for each deep working day with a little note for each of my work sessions Reading time Action steps that I take to improve my results Organization & Productivity resources Personal insights on organization & productivity I'm, right now, at this moment, and for the rest of my life, taking 100% responsibility to be highly focused and disciplined in my organization and my deep working sessions in order to accomplish and materialize what I really want in life. It's time to generate incredible results.

I'm thinking more and more about closing this journal and having a journal for my daily habits instead.

Weekly Statistics (30 August 2021 - 05 September 2021) Total Working Time 18 hours 32 minutes Average Focus 3.23 / 5

05 September 2021 Wake Up Time: 07:53 AM (objective 6:30 AM - 7:00 AM) In Bed Time: 12:04 AM (objective 10:30 PM - 11:00 PM) ✅ Stretching after waking up ✅ Cold shower after waking up ✅ Breathwork ~ No distractions until 8 PM (Doesn't apply on Sunday) ❌ 1 hour 15 minutes of random journaling before going to bed (Did 1 hour) Work Sessions: No work for today Total Work Duration: 0 minutes, including 0 minutes of Deep Work Average Focus: ~ / 5 (objective at least 3.5 / 5)

Even though some people give very valuable advice, I many time thinks that this subforum should be closed. Some things that I read there seem to come from aliens trying to make contact with humans. https://www.actualized.org/forum/forum/3-dating-relationships-sexuality/ I'm not perfect and obviously have my own difficulties, but there should be higher minimum standards in this place. Any threads that don't fit these minimum standards should be closed. Seriously, wtf am I reading?

Practicing Authenticity Through This Forum I want to use this forum as a playground to become more authentic. I many times wanting to say funny things here but didn't because of the fear of showing myself more. This can be a good exercise to practice openness, vulnerability, and authenticity. And I can have a bit more fun too.

I want to see a butt reveal.

@Raptorsin7 @Loba @SriSriJustinBieber @martins name @Johnny Galt @Sine Thanks! @Emerald Your channel is great!

04 September 2021 Wake Up Time: 08:23 AM (objective 6:30 AM - 7:00 AM) In Bed Time: 11:51 PM (objective 10:30 PM - 11:00 PM) ✅ Stretching after waking up ✅ Cold shower after waking up ✅ 30 minutes of meditation in the morning ❌ No distractions until 8 PM ✅ 1 hour 15 minutes of random journaling before going to bed Work Sessions: 04:27 PM - 06:01 PM I worked on emails for the app. I distracted myself a bit too much. Duration: 1 hour 34 minutes Focus: 3/5 Deep Work Sessions: 07:33 PM - 09:15 PM Did some work on the app API. Was distracted by other unrelated thoughts. Duration: 1 hour 42 minutes Focus: 3.5/5 Total Work Duration: 3 hours 16 minutes, including 1 hour 42 minutes of Deep Work Average Focus: 3.25 / 5 (objective at least 3.5 / 5)

Thanks I actually already did something like that in the past. What I'll do is express the emotions then and have a conversation with my different subpersonalities.

It's fine, this journal is an open space As I don't eat any wheat, I'll say that I didn't eat any gluten since a long time. Another thing that I'm sure about is that I don't eat enough. Most people in my family have a skinny genetic and other men eats gigantic plates of rice compared to me. Even if they eat an impressive quantity of food the aren't overweight so I think I have to follow their path to get to an healthy weight.

04 September 2021 Wake Up Time: 08:23 AM (objective 6:30 AM - 7:00 AM) In Bed Time: 10:45 PM (objective 10:30 PM - 11:00 PM) ✅ Stretching after waking up ❌ Cold shower after waking up ✅ 30 minutes of meditation in the morning ❌ No distractions until 8 PM ❌ 1 hour 15 minutes of random journaling before going to bed Work Sessions: 12:31 PM - 01:05 PM I worked on a few images. Duration: 34 minutes Focus: 3.5/5 02:05 PM - 03:00 PM I worked on some email templates. Duration: 55 minutes Focus: 3.5/5 04:34 PM - 06:10 PM I continued doing some work on these email templates. Duration: 1 hour 36 minutes Focus: 3/5 Yesterday was very messy. I didn't slep well, I was tired all day and I procrastinated a lot. Total Work Duration: 3 hours 5 minutes, including 0 minutes of Deep Work Average Focus: 3.33 / 5 (objective at least 3.5 / 5)

@flowboy I did felt the need to eat a bit after a breathwork session. Other than that I never felt that much change. I'm going to bed I'm too tired.

Always. But what's strange with me is that I don't feel hunger and never felt that much hunger in my entire life even when I don't eat that much. This is like an almost unknown sensation to me.

Something's strange with my health. My digestion is slower than before, my gut often annoys me when I go to bed. I poop less than before and when I poop the poo is dark. I lost some weight even though I'm already skinny, it's probably because I removed peanuts, cashew nuts, lentils, peas, chickpeas so I'm eating fewer calories. I'm too skinny, it's possible to feel my bones at some places of my body, I feel weak, this is not healthy. I will increase the quantity of the rice and oats that I eat + the quantity of fish/eggs. I feel strange and tired. This day was messy. + Health @flowboy

What I Know I Want With Certainty A lot of diverse knowledge A lof of diverse life experience Traveling Understanding of the world as a whole Self-understanding More empty time to let myself relax and let my mind do whatever it wants More relationships and meeting more diverse people High emotional mastery Spirituality

If one day people ever stop building things around me I think I'll get out naked on the street and start to dance to celebrate. At this rythm there will be nothing left on this island in ten years except buildings everywhere. No nature, no place to relax, nothing except buildings.

Low Conscious Intellect vs. High Conscious Intellect Low-conscious comes from strong voices. It stays stuck into paradigms. It is used for egoic agendas, it wants to win at everything. It wants to debate everyone because it is convinced that it is true. It wants to impress people, it wants to fool people, it wants to get into positions of power. It brags a lot. It is sure of itself. It feels strong and assertive. It feels logical and mechanical. High-conscious intellect is as simple as possible but not simpler. It stays as clean as possible because it understands how complex things can be. It doesn't brag except for a bit of fun cause that's life after all. It doesn't debate because it understands that all pieces ultimately come together but it converses. It unbiasedly examines all perspectives while at the same time knowing that it is biased by the human condition. It feels light and subtle. It feels like art.

02 September 2021 Wake Up Time: 07:47 AM (objective 6:30 AM - 7:00 AM) In Bed Time: ~ PM (objective 10:30 PM - 11:00 PM) ✅ Stretching after waking up ✅ Cold shower after waking up ✅ Breathwork ~ No distractions until 8 PM (Doesn't apply on Thursday) ✅ 1 hour 15 minutes of random journaling before going to bed Work Sessions: 01:55 PM - 02:50 PM I did some corrections on a few templates. Duration: 55 minutes Focus: 3.5/5 04:40 PM - 05:30 PM Did some progress on understanding an issue regarding these templates, but I was also thinking a lot about... another thing that made me sad. Duration: 50 minutes Focus: 3/5 08:15 PM - 09:08 PM I did a bit more work on these templates. Duration: 53 minutes Focus: 3/5 Total Work Duration: 2 hours 37 minutes, including 0 minutes of Deep Work Average Focus: 3.1 / 5 (objective at least 3.5 / 5)

Low conscious intellect is a way to escape emotions, vulnerabilities, and hide feelings such as: shame, pain, hurt, sadness, anxiety, insecurities, etc.