Raphael

@JonasVE12 I agree with you, I will use a leash next time, and maybe free them only in places where there are rarely people. I thought multiple times about learning martial art or self-defense including Krav Maga. What is the thing with Matt?

Yes, and of course his perspective is different. He was really afraid for his kids, his dog, and himself.

I'm not into this, and I don't think to hurt people back is the best decision, but open discussion should be.

That's scary, changing town was probably the best decision. But in my case, I'm not going to move soon, so I'll probably meet this guy again and I'll have to deal with him.

@Average Investor @Meditationdude @TrynaBeTurquoise You are all rights, I also think that it will better to use a leash with my dogs, even though I don't like it because if I were a dog I would prefer to be free and run without constraints. @Average Investor @Meditationdude I have been going for walks with my dogs in the same fields since I was a kid, so it has been for more than ten years now. Most of the time they were unleashed, and in more than ten years they never hurt anybody, however, they had some fights with other dogs, and of course, they barked to other people. I also meet a lot of dogs without a leash in this place, some of them did nothing, some of them run up to me, some of them barked to me, but I never got hurt. I was just walking calmly without doing any aggressive actions, and things would go well. However, most people are just afraid and react aggressively, I had times where people would throw rocks even if the dogs were walking normally without barking. @Meditationdude I can understand that he beat the first dog because he barked at his dog, but beating the other one who was walking peacefully is different, and physically threating me is something else.

7 October 2019 Time: 45 minutes Summary: I was in a thoughts storm today, I couldn't stop thinking about a guy who beat my dogs yesterday and physically threating me. I opened my eyes for a few seconds at 36 minutes, then start again. Even with the thought storm, I felt different after the session, I felt more conscious and more refreshed compared to when I started. It was great.

Going practical I'm going to create more journals here. Each one will be dedicated to a specific thing I want to improve. Being practical is something that I lack, many times I just ingurgitate theories and throw them outside without really embodying them, it's time to fix this.

Getting physical threats I experienced physical threats for the first time in my life today. I was walking with my dogs in the fields and sometimes they bark when they see other dogs or humans. For the dogs, I don't really understand why they bark or run after some of them and let others as they are, however, I feel I understand what's going on with humans. Dogs barks after low conscious human beings, because they feel their chemistry, they feel people's emotions and they feel anxieties, anger, fear, and a lot of nasty stuff. Low conscious people are more prone to violence and dogs are able to see that, so they bark, run, or even attack. After a few years of only 30-45 minutes of daily meditation, I can also sense this. I can sense the level of consciousness of the people around me. When I'm with my dogs and see other people, I naturally know if my dogs are going to bark after them or run after them or let them as they are. Things are just obvious to me. And of course for the people to which it happens they react violently by chasing them with a stick, throwing rocks, or even trying to beat them. Of course, the consciousness level of the dog also matters, a low conscious dog will be more violent, where a high conscious one will be more loving. Mines are between the two. To get back to the physical threats, I was walking with my dogs (they were free, without any leash), when I saw a dad holding another dog and his two children. As soon as I saw the dad (I felt the low consciousness), I knew they were going to bark at him and his dog. They were another space on the right of the men, I did some signs to tell him to go aside, I don't know if he understands it, in the end, he didn't do it and continue to walk with a big tree branch, looking down with an angry look. As soon as my dog barked, he violently gives him a stroke. I immediately started to interfere with him and tell him to stop. He told something like this: "WHAT? WHAT'S GOING ON? YOU HAVE NOTHING TO SAY! THEY ARE KIDS THERE NEXT TIME USE A LEASH TO WALK YOUR DOGS!" I wanted to tell him that next time if it happens it would be better if he moves to an empty space (if there is one close enough) so that our dogs are distant enough, and also because it can happen with someone else, and he just cannot beat everyone dog like this, but he interrupts me: "NEXT TIME? WHAT NEXT TIME?". At the same time, my second dog calmly walked aside without barking nor running at anyone and he beat him with his stick. I wanted to communicate with, to share my perspective, but it was not possible, he finally told me the following: "NEXT TIME IF IT HAPPENS I WILL BEAT YOUR DOGS AND BEAT YOU TOO!!!". I choose to let it go and acquiesced with an OK, it was literally impossible to say anything at this point, he was probably at stage red, people at this developmental stage are dangerous, so it's better to let it go. Main lesson: low consciousness attack low consciousness and violence

My favorite dog died It happened this morning, I thought it would happen today after looking at his state yesterday. I didn't get emotional, maybe because of my meditation practice and a year of social isolation, I mostly saw this as part of the circle of life. I didn't even view his corpse this morning as my dad who woke up before me immediately went to burry him without waiting for anyone. I wish I could see it one last time, but it was not possible. I remember his particularities, he was a very particular dog, sometimes he was sitting and contemplating the landscape, sometimes running on three legs because he was scratching himself with the fourth one. He was unique in his way. Main lesson: Everything comes and goes, everything is in perpetual movement.

How to structure my days and weeks to have a nice balance between personal development, a full-time job, and some rest time? How to be better organized? How to set an intention? How to be more result-oriented?

I love this too

Back home I'm back in my family house today after quitting my job, I'm also still in the process of bootstrapping as a freelancer. They are many things to do here as the house is in a pretty bad state, I will take care of these as much as I can. I learned that one of my favorite dogs had issues with his two kidneys, he didn't eat for four days and drink very little, he will probably pass away pretty soon. I didn't get very emotional even though I love this dog, I was more in a full acceptance state, I don't know how I will be when it will happen. My parents are getting old are starting to experience some issues. My grandma is blind and her mental faculties are decreasing, she can't sustain herself correctly. My dad is experiencing a lot of muscular pain, in particular in his legs, he is pushing himself too much for his age. My mom is the one who is in the best shape, she only has some minor issues. I think this is the time to integrate family values of stage blue. When I was a kid I didn't care about family but was only focused on myself, I didn't want to help them on anything but was only enjoying what they were doing for me. It's time to correct all this, to go from selfish to selfless, and build a useful infrastructure for my close relationships. No kid can grow without a minimum working environment, even though they were and still are many imperfections in my environment, I would be dead without my family. This is a stage blue aspect to appreciate as it is the foundation for the survival of every individual, and therefore, the human species as a whole. The most difficult thing will be to handle to my dad, he is mostly at stage red/orange with some elements of blue and purple. I hated him most of my life, but he's doing the best that he can. Last year, I had my first panic attack in a thought storm about him, I was crippled with fear thinking about my dad. I'm more in an acceptance state right now even if negative thoughts can arrive, it happened yesterday and this morning. How I will handle him will show how much I grow during the last year. Spiritual work really helps with this, having a consistent meditation habit is very important. Pushing it to one hour per day will be one of my objectives for the next months, everything just goes better when I meditate in the morning, I must continue to do it.

Share your worst moments here, it can be anything that had some impact on you: moments where you felt humiliated, shameful, angry, very uncomfortable, unfair situation, fearful moments, etc. Of course, some of these moments can have a positive impact on the long term, but experiencing them doesn't feel good. Try to be as honest as possible. I'm going to start by sharing some of mine here, some of them go back to my childhood, some of them are more recent. Some moments where I was a kid: When my dad gave me a huge slap because I accidentally bump into him. He told me that I was in his way When my dad started to spank me over and over because I accidentally pressed a tube of shaving foam and dropped its content on the floor When my dad throws a knife at my mother after an excess of rage. Fortunately, he missed it and she was not hurt When I was 12 years old, I got severely morally bullied at school. A few minutes after getting back into class I started crying so much that my teacher wanted to know who did this. I told her it was some kids in another class and she had the idea to bring me to their classroom to publicly show to everyone what they did to me. I felt extremely humiliated at this moment Some more recent moments: When I was studying at university and I realized that my desire to become rich, famous, and powerful was completely egoistical and was filled by my need to take my revenge on life and dominate all the people who treat me badly in the past. My entire world collapsed at this moment When I got back from Europe to my native country and saw my dad after more than two years and he treats me as the same little kid than before. He was literally thinking that someone was preparing my food, where I was all by myself. Several weeks later he told that if I would not be able to sustain myself if I were alone because I didn't want to listen to his outdated advice, where this is exactly what I did for two years. This got me very angry After getting back to my native country, I realized how rigid and backward minded people are there, they get angry so easily when I contradict their opinions, are very reactive to differences, and live with fear. I also got treated like a foreigner because I didn't speak fluently the local language and got scammed because of my physical appearance, where I lived in this country almost all my life In 2018, I was so angry and fearful of my dad and society that I started to had panic attacks. Those were the most terrifying experiences I had until now Share your owns here!

Holotropic breathing is powerful I did 45 minutes of meditation this morning and a little less of 30 minutes of holotropic breathing this afternoon. It felt more effective than regular meditation, I didn't have some incredible paranormal experience, but I experience a lot of tingling sensations in my forearms and hands. I also experience some back neck pain, it was like someone was pushing a finger in this area with force. After getting up I felt light-headed and a little dizzy, I then sat down on my bed by precaution, it was a little better after some minutes. I felt very fresh and I was looking at everything as totally new without any judgment. I then went for a walk in a meditative state and was in admiration of the beauty of life and how peaceful and perfect everything seems to be besides what we would normally consider as imperfections. I'm still a little in this state right now and I feel great.

I read it, but I don't remember it that much. I also had this feeling of shallowness, however I remember a part where the author talks about honesty and that the tips in the book will only work if we are genuinely interested in others. I will maybe read it again in the future.

Here's an old documentary on Abraham Maslow and Self Actualization

I'm wondering a lot about creating a practical journal for action taking and keeping this one for global insights and random stuff.

@Leo Gura What do you think of Macron?

POPE FRANCIS VISITED MY COUNTRY Pope Francis visited my country on 9 September 2019 and he did a mass to which I assisted. I never thought someone like him would come here, in such a small country where Christians only represent 30-35 % of the population. I later learned that Jean-Paul II also came in 1989. It's extremely rare when I go to religious festivities as I don't follow anything, but this time was pretty exceptional. I was happy and interestingly a little anxious about his visit before he passes right in front of me in his popemobile. The crowd was very huge, I literally never saw that much people in the street before, apparently they were one hundred thousand people going to the mass which represents 1/13 of the total country population. I personally doubt about it because of the available space, but it was still a lot of people. The mass was awesome, they spoke in five different languages: French, Mauritian Creole, English, Italian, and even Hindi. Yes Hindi, in fact, a woman actually sung during the ceremony with Hindu music in the background. I was pretty impressed by the diversity in place, and, at one moment Muslims also started their prayer several hundred meters away and I was hearing very clearly 'Allahu akbar' during the mass. The pope also spoke about the country peaceful climate where very diverse people can successfully live together, it's fast economic development, new challenges, the dangers of capitalism and modern slavery and how young people are the first victims. I agreed on some points and I actually find remarkable that a fresh country like this who got its independence and was one of the poorest in the world in 1968 grow so fast that it's now considered one of the most developed countries of Africa. I'm so lucky that I was born here, it's not as developed as Europe and there are many rigid mindsets, but in some aspects, it feels better than Europe sometimes.

RESPECT FROM STAGE BLUE PERSPECTIVE Respect is so important for stage blue because it's full of anxieties, traumas, and insecurities. Being respectful and polite comes at the cost of being honest, what's involved at this stage is neuroticism, the inability to love and accept other opinions, and the incapacity to take any criticism. I've had many experiences of telling the truth directly and crudely to stage blue, but it always got back to my face. They don't even want to listen to what I say but are only pointing that I'm not respectful or polite. They are extremely reactive to bad words and things that are too direct. Now when I try to share some opinions with them I make an effort on the tone and on being polite, so that we can focus on the content and they don't get distracted too much.

Here's a forum mostly dedicated to entrepreneurship https://www.thefastlaneforum.com/community/ . It's possible to meet successful business owners, but also people who are getting started and documenting their journey, and some other stuff. It is also the forum associated with MJ DeMarco books The Millionaire Fastlane and Unscripted, he is present on the forum and sometimes answers questions.

TOO MUCH TOLERANCE I'm too much tolerant of people and get fooled easily. I usually want to be a good person and help others, but I attract fools that take advantage of my empathy. I have been stolen multiple times in the past. The last time was with a guy in his 30/40 who is the son of the owners of my current apartment. He still lives with its parents (which is quite normal in my country), I don't know if he has a job, but I often see him hanging out in the neighborhood with some friends. The first time he asked me for money, he gave it back pretty quickly, the second time he didn't give anything and kept saying for months that he was going to pay me back. I'm sure he had the money and he only needs to walk five minutes to find an ATM, he probably just wanted to take advantage of me. He lives under my place, I don't talk to him anymore. I just say hello when I see him, then I ignore him, he's not going to give back anything and he probably already forgotten everything. There's no time to lose with this kind of people. I noticed that scammers create many stories and excuses to take advantages of others, where honest people who are really in distress just ask or sit without excuses. It's possible to feel their level of consciousness by paying attention to how they talk, how they move. I need to be more attentive to this when I get approached. The last thing I noted in these situations is that social anxiety is also involved as I'm a little afraid to impose myself and say no to people who create heart bleeding stories.

@Zigzag Idiot I didn't know that she was doing this. You're probably right, I also feel it will be better to work with a self-actualizing individual rather than a stage orange psychologist. I still need time to think about it. Thanks for your proposition!

@Marcell Kovacs It seems like you experienced similar emotional states that I did. I'm also 22 by the way and the last few years have been pretty rough, especially the last one. If you don't see external results it doesn't mean that you are not growing, for example, I feel much more mature, at peace, and satisfied with life compared to last year where I was highly depressed and experiencing panic attacks. However, even with that I still have many issues. I experienced something like this, I didn't break into tears but just lay down on the floor because I was unable to even move to go work on my computer as I was kicking myself too much, putting enormous negativity and pressure on me. I also think we should not be neurotic about having a life purpose. At one point I realized that my life purpose was all about ego, I wanted it to feel good, to feel like I was improving the world and doing better and being superior to other people. When I realized it my entire world collapsed and I fall into depression. Life purpose is not important in the end as we're all going to die. It feels very important when it's rooted in ego, where a high conscious life purpose naturally comes from selflessness and doesn't feel important, but more like life going smoothly even with it's unforeseen. I didn't even take the Life Purpose Course, yet I feel that I'm going into a certain direction. In my opinion, the most important thing at our age is financial independence and building a high-quality infrastructure on which to count until the end. A. If you feel like you cannot continue with your life purpose at the moment, it's probably better to take a break and come to it again after six months or one year. B. Yes, do this and continue to meditate, do yoga, and other spiritual practices. C. No, but maybe later. D and E. I don't know for the job. In my case, I quit college two years ago, on one hand, I have a less variety of experience, on the other hand I'm earning money, improving the skills I need in my job and being more independent. This is your choice. I also think a little retreat (even without psychedelics) will be pretty powerful, you probably need a lot of alone time. In my experience, this is what helped me the most getting out my depressive state with a meditation habit and psychotherapy. Good luck my friend

CONSCIOUS OF MY ISSUES I'm aware of my issues and this is good. This means I'm conscious enough to correct them, I'm still young and I see infinite growth possibilities. I see an incredible high-conscious self-actualized life for myself. The only thing to do now is to continue building my foundation by doing personal development work.