Elisabeth

It may be ok to have more than one day gap between your trip and the therapy. Depends if you already want to conceptualize so soon.

Thanks. Actually, it wasn't my point to suggest Leo should share more of himself on youtube, that could backfire, and it's his right to share as much as he feels up to. My point was, I hope Leo does have both close personal relationships (for the joy they bring - I'm coming from a place of care) and constructive critique/collaboration on the political topics he speaks about (for the quality of his content). But I also enjoy relatable personal stories. Like the intro to the old "Ultimate model of human knowledge" video. It's a good video, one that I recommend a lot if I want to introduce someone to Leo's work.

This is super interesting and captivating, lots of valuable comments in this thread. I'm deeply sorry for the family of the deceased! Also, sending Leo some basic human compassion - he seems to be handling the fallout and evaluating responsibility just fine, but I imagine it must be emotionally difficult too. I'm one of the people coming into spirituality from a place of depression (though not suicidal level) and anxiety, my core interests in personal development have been emotions, relationships, trauma healing. I'm greatful to Leo for introducing me to some philosophy and spirituality too . My progress is slow, I've been following since forever (2016), and awakening is still over my head. It would never occur to me to take Leo's teachings as promoting suicide. For me, they are fascinating! But I understand that spiritual concepts and experience can lead to confusion in some people. I've never personally experienced much of it just from listening - ideas on their own aren't very threatening to me. Experience is a different thing and can be deeply unsettling. In terms of dealing with the dangers of spiritual teachings, I'm happy and grateful to have people around me who have been part of i.e. the holotropic breathwork community. They are my guide as much as Leo is, and they help me balance some of Leo's bias. As for grievances, I've expressed my opinion on several topics in the past - the old relationship videos, the pick-up line of the forum, the repeated bashing of science and religion (which I'm sick and tired off) and other unnecessary repetition, the political commentary. Some videos on Leo's side-interests or newly developing interests just don't have the quality of his core spiritual and philosophical content. (On the other hand, from my area of expertise, I very much appreciate the quantum mechanics series! ) I've also recently expressed concern whether Leo has enough feedback from (or rather, shared investigation with) high-quality intellectuals in the social/politics domain, and I've been called insane Leo, this may be a false impression, but it often seems from your videos like you don't talk about your insights and your journey to anyone at all. I'm just always so happy to hear you mention being at a retreat and talking to the teacher, or similar. We may be all imaginary or all one (I don't know what I'm talking about here), but in the relative domain, people need to relate to people as close to their level as possible. I don't think the forum is enough feedback for you. If there was some distinction between content for newbies and content for long-time viewers in the future, I would appreciate it. Lastly, I'm organizing a students' personal development group at my faculty. I've struggled with my conscience on whether I can recommend actualized.org as a source of advice. So far I decided I can't. I'm not actually sure it would have a net positive effect on the students' lives if they started to dive into spirituality and psychedelics. It's a hard decision though, between authenticity and caution (coupled with fear).

@Leo Gura Well do you have ANY people to discuss your ideas with before you make them public? JP may not be a good one. Yet everyone needs a quality discussion now and then. And, since you're going political now, you can't avoid strawmen unless you actually check in with the other person. Anyway, I liked the integrity video a lot. The gender video is not a bad attempt at going popular either. Haven't finished watching the JP video yet.

I also think you should talk to JP about the SD model your critiques, Leo. Not necessarily publicly. You are also a well-known intellectual, would he decline a debate?

Ah, one more thing: You called your thread "career change" and "crisis". You don't have a career yet, aka a series of jobs in the same field, or a lonterm business aspiration. You just have something that you are trying out to make some money and see what you like and dislike about it. You may consider not calling this a crisis either. Leo says people who do business fail many times before they find their thing... So you're on track. You just had one idea that didn't work out. Don't think of your situation as a crisis, just a place of uncertainty.

I have zero business skills. So to me, if you can get a product up and running at 15, sound incredibly cool. You'll have money, and you'll know how business works. Plus you may practice some willpower, if there's grinding involved. To me, you do sound at least somewhat passionate - you tried, and you consider trying again. It's not like you're trying to do a thing that's been imposed on you by someone elses expectations. So I'd say go do it if you can, have a business next year. Would be incredible. The LP course, you can do it bit by bit. You can keep looking around if there's something more meaningful that you'd like to take up. Just set aside some time for it on a regular basis.

If that is relevant to any solution you might suggest (is it?), would it be ok to move to pm? loss, rejection, abandonment ... pain, sadness, grey creating ... hell yes or blank acceptance ... sure! acceptance of that particular pain? hell no (more pain)! unity ... blank, no emotional association. Or fear. intimacy, closeness ... hell yes I know you've read my story already. It's evolving slowly. Can it be dropped? Hm...

You know, that's rather hard to say. I've suggested loss, rejection ... abandonment perphaps... some kind of disconnection. They are not bound to trigger the sharp clear aspect of that emotion which I know as pure pain, but they are a huge trigger.

Not quite sure - leaning towards anxious, though not too bad. Been in (long, almost overlapping) relationships all of my adult life.

@Origins Who are you and what's your motivation, are you training to become a therapist? Anyway, try this. For the past ten years or so, I've been working with a pain in my chest (I don't remember feeling it previously in my life, but I don't remember any emotions from that time). I'm sure it's an emotion, but it's so localized it feels almost physical. It appears when I feel loss, rejection, but often without a recognizable trigger. When I feel into myself, most of the time it's there to some degree, and sometimes it's so present it clouds my ability to function or experience any other emotion. It's sometimes dissolved by sexual ecstasy, love, rare experiences of "light". Rarely, it can be let go of by de-focussing attention, but usually, I can't find a way to snap out of pain if it's intense. When I tried self-inquiry meditation, and to my surprise, at one point my usual "I" in my head dissolved, but an identification with the pain in my chest appeared. "I am pain." It decreases my quality of life severely by blocking joy and creativity, yet in some way, it's dear to me. There is resistance or more pain if I try to "let go of it". I think it may be a very young, pre-verbal part of myself.

Often whatever "awareness exercise" you naturally feel like doing is what can move you the most at the moment, because you will be doing it with the most passion. You feel like journaling, or meditation, or drawing, or climbing up a mountain? Start there. Journaling is definitely a great thing to do, if you feel the urge to write. I've done it semi-regularly for years, just to get some thoughts and feelings "out of the system", and it helped my self-awareness. You can't go beyond concepts, as you can with meditation, but you can sort out a lot of your daily hickups. If you have time, definitely do go for the life-purpose course as well. To choose a career, you need vision&experience. The course is about seeking a vision, the experience part, you'll have to do real-life What are you doing during your summer? If you're starting college, that will be a major change in your life, which will give you many opportunities for growth that you don't need to actively look for. You'll have to study more intensely, you'll socialize with new people, and if you're living away from your parents for the first time, you'll also have to learn how to cook and take care of yourself. During the exam period, maintaining healthy habits even under pressure is a major challenge. I'd say just make sure this is a path you want, and then just live through it - don't worry whether you're doing enough of "the work", because unless you are drowning your days in alcohol and porn, you are.

Dear everyone, I'm finishing phd, and I'm not continuing science, so I'm looking for a job. I've been offered data analysis work in a company, which is quite respected for doing pre-election voter surveys and other public polls, but also, they do media analysis (to see which demographics watches what media and when) and sell their results to marketing companies. This means I would do some kind of research with no control over how my results are being used to target advertising. Is that too bad? I've done the life-purpose course, and got something out of it - I'm now running a personal development and sharing group for students at my university, but that's far from becoming a career

Do you intend to finish your high school later? Whilst I can understand a university degree being optional, closing the door on that... when you have no idea... seems too soon. Go sort out your concentration issues, choose a high school and finish that! I say that, because unless it's some kind of sudden mental-health emergency (and even if it is), I don't believe quitting school is gonna help you improve concentration. It's actually sitting through your lectures and doing your best to be attentive, that helps you, providing the necessary practice. Being idle, sitting at home with your computer and wasting your time will make you sink deeper and deeper into your hole, whatever it is. Sorry for seeming a bit judgy, take it as an opinion from someone who's had 'concetration issues' throughout all of her university and phd studies... My concentration was always best in periods when I had the most schoolwork to do (measured by go-boardgame tournaments success ). And trust me, it was a hell of a lot easier when my time was structured by lectures. My phd required more self-motivation, and now I have to give up science, cause I was to unconcentrated/lazy to hit the bar. But whatever. If you can sit through 5 hours of practice in annimation and drawing techniques a day, or learn a language with similar intensity, go for that. If you can't? Please do yourself a favor, stop fooling yourself and go back to school.

What are your life circumstances? Are you still in high-school? Language-related careers could include translating (what I hear, doesn't usually pay so well on its own), simultaneous translation (a very different discipline, because you need to be very flexible), linguistics (with all the perils of trying to succeed in academia), diplomacy, international business relations, or simply using your language skills to work abroad or work for a foreign company. I don't know about animation. You could off course try to pursue a career in movie-making. Or, you could go on studying languages, and keep animation as a hobby on the side. Who knows, maybe you'll create a second phd comics and get famous. Here's a locally successful linguistic comics too https://www.knihydobrovsky.cz/kniha/opraski-sceski-historje-596035 . Watch the video about making small bets. What's the next small project you'd like to take up? Draw something? Or something language related?

Say you are happy and content. What do you want to do next? I suggest, you might want to create something. Start small. Draw a picture? (That's what I do now.)

@bejapuskas What's new?

Thanks for being back, Leo.

I've run into a situation where (I believe) my early developmental trauma was triggered. It's not the first time it has happened, although this time the intensity was dialed up. I found myself shaking and in a spasm (all the muscles in my back tensed so much they are still stiff a two days later, sympathetic nervous system overstimulated). It lasted quite some time. How do you help yourself get out of that exhausting state? (Simplicity is imperative, as you're deep in emotion and can't really think.)

There's a book called "designer relationships" which is supposed to be good, could read that. I don't think you know what you want from a relationship. You only know that you don't want marriage or kids (yet). Being honest with yourself and upfront with her is always the most ethical strategy.

@Michael569 Yeah, that should work for the second phase, more or less - very comprehensive. The crisis moment, I only had my sense of touch (inner and outer) and partial control of breath and movement. So slow breathing if possible. And the last resort is - pray for mercy.

I got a lot of resources around here. Links to spiritual teachers I wouldn't have known about, including Byron Katie and Anna Brown. And I got to talk to Michael about nutrition, I consider Benjapuskas a friend... couldn't have happened otherwise.

Don't decide based on Leo's video only. Go do that high-level research that you're invited to. See for yourself, whether it feels meaningful or not! (You don't say what year you're in, if you can connect it with your bachelor/master thesis, all the better.)

@Preety_India This is a terribly long flamy thread. I have no idea if you got your answers or not. If you wanna talk more in private, feel free to send me a pm, ok?

@Carl-Richard Amazing, thank you!