Shaun

I have had a sub breakthrough DMT experience and that's it. I had been meditating non stop 20 minutes a day for two years but stopped June last year. I have reached the stage that I know myself as awareness but there is obviously far more to be done.

Leo, thanks for your response. This ego backlash has been huge. Today I was actually feeling very upbeat but then the dark feelings returned but just not as intensely. I won't forget about the video for a long time and I will take my time and be present with these emotions. I am planning a high dose mushroom trip followed by a breakthrough DMT experience a few months later but only if my mindset is right. It may be possible that I am suffering from depression too and if mushrooms don't help that, do you think it would be a good idea just to go the mainstream route of antidepressants and therapy?

Very wise advice. During these episodes I know that there is nothing in the present moment that is harming me, there is just this intense emotion that I'm aware of but ego and chemical imbalances in a non existent brain does not care about facts.

Absolutely, I wouldn't touch any psychedelic unless I was in a good frame of mind at the time. My mistake with DMT was that I was fearful as I was holding the pipe. I was lucky that the lighter broke and halved the dose as a result because had I taken the full amount I may be in a mental hospital now. For the dosage, are you referring to the standard cubensis mushrooms?

I mostly do but recently I became utterly convinced that nobody else was real. I was talking to friends at work today yet I felt extremely alone and have this idea that anything I experience is basically trying to convince me that solipsism is false. I seem to be stuck in this loop.

Thank you, that cheered me up a bit but no doubt the dark feelings will return. I have been practising spirituality for a few years now and I am at the stage where I witness everything as awareness including deep depressions and Rupert Spira is right, they can become so intense that they appear to obscure the screen of awareness. I am planning to try mushrooms in a moderate dose, maybe 3 grams as I have heard a lot of good things about psilocybin. I had a sub breakthrough dose of DMT a few months ago but that was an unpleasant and fearful experience with a moment of absolute stillness in it.

When Leo said in his most recent video that I will experience everything, is this just limited to Earth and all that happens there? He gave many examples of how I will be Hitler, how I will be the Jew being gassed or how I will experience the most amazingly perfect life possible. He never mentioned anything outwith a life on earth, for example, being a lifeform in another galaxy. Also, when this body dies, how is it determined what the next life will be? Is it totally random?

I have another question. Leo said that I will be Hitler, etc but Hitler has been and gone.

I kind of thought that and thanks for clarifying. I will be getting my hands on some magic mushrooms hopefully so I can delve deeper into this. Sadly it's the only psychedelic I can get and it's probably not the ideal one to use but better than nothing. 5 MEO would be ideal.

Part of a conversation I was having with a friend who is not into all this consciousness stuff.

A few weeks ago I had this dream where I was sitting on a beach at night looking over the water towards Edinburgh which is a city near where I live. Across the water, floating above the city, there were these enormous cube and cuboid shaped objects, a few miles to a side, with orange lights on them partially obscured by cloud. I'm not sure whether they were buildings or space ships. As I was sitting there, I became aware that I was dreaming, but not only that, I became aware of awareness itself and I just sat there for a while in what can only be described really as a very high state of consciousness much greater than anything I've experienced in a waking state. Would this count as an enlightenment experience?

Mostly, my meditations go well, but sometimes I start feeling like I am spinning around in both directions at once or I am rotating left and right around two times per second. It is sort of like a dizziness. When I open my eyes, it goes away but starts again when I close them. It is very strange and has anyone else felt like this?

There is no special pose you have to sit in, sit in a comfortable chair like you are watching a TV show. I took this advice from the guided meditation video and I can mostly meditate without moving. I only do 20 minutes a day.

Are you sure? It feels very nauseating.

I sometimes feel that I am using enlightenment work as a coping mechanism for my sexual ineptitude. I feel that starting this work has made me even less of a match to the women around me. I've never been in a relationship before, or had sex but to be honest, I would rather be enlightened than be in a relationship.

I'm from Scotland too, I started doing consciousness work around June this year. Keep at it and it will make a huge difference to your life. I try and share this kind of stuff with people and I just get dismissed or they don't understand. I'm glad I found this site.

I have now gone two weeks doing 20 minutes of meditation each day, not one day missed. It was very difficult to start with and still is at times. I have noticed that I am more relaxed and a situation at work which has bothered me greatly is hardly a problem anymore. One one of my meditations I fell asleep briefly. On another I felt an overpowering motivation to just get up and do my normal stuff. Now I find that my mind is quieter during it and briefly goes completely silent. I mostly do my meditation late at night around 10 to 12pm but sometimes do it during the day. What experiences has everyone else been having?

That's what I was thinking, I have taken Leo's advice seriously and I never want to miss a single day of meditation.

My friends say I need to stop going on about this self enlightenment stuff and that I won't find happiness this way. They seem to think that going out, getting drunk and having a relationship will make me happy, but I don't think that I can find happiness along that route. I fail completely with women and I suppose it was searching for a way to overcome this failure that lead me to actualized.org and ultimately enlightenment work.

I just watched the Neti Neti video and it was extremely helpful. So much so that I really felt something towards the end close to an enlightenment experience and it got me thinking. So what happens when I die? And what was before I was born? If nothingness has awareness, does that not make it a thing? How can it really be properly aware if it has no senses? If a robot was to be created capable of all the senses and thoughts a human can have, would it also be this empty nothingness existentially? And would that imply then that all things, rocks, cars, trees are also this empty nothingness? I kind of understand this truth of no self and empty nothing but I just couldn't help but ask these questions. Then again, if I have to ask these questions, maybe I don't understand it at all. Can this please be moved to the enlightenment section? I put it here by mistake.

Thanks for giving me a greater insight if you could call it that. Does anyone believe that this universal consciousness ultimately has a creator? Or is it just eternal and infinite and was never created?